FabSwingers.com forum: No face pic = no reply

By *r_reus OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I don’t have one publicly.

If I messaged someone I was interested in, I’d send it.

Don’t feel it’s arrogant at all.

Pointless wasting peoples time if it’s important to them

I find it more rude to ignore the profile and then moan when they don’t reply/ aren’t interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's an unfair request that's predominantly aimed at guys as let's be honest, it's a buyers market and the gents of fab have to sell themselves. We would always send a face pic first if we request one though, no point in chatting if either party thinks the other is a swamp donkey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature."

I get your point but you (i.e guys) are the beggar in this situation not the chooser

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By *he ass man 666Man
over a year ago

paradise city

It’s best when they ask for a face pic , you send it then don’t hear back or get blocked ,

Just say not your type bye bye or something lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s best when they ask for a face pic , you send it then don’t hear back or get blocked ,

Just say not your type bye bye or something lol

Don't think I've ever been blocked for just sending a face pic

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

"It’s best when they ask for a face pic , you send it then don’t hear back or get blocked ,

Just say not your type bye bye or something lol

The delete means they aren’t interested. Wouldn’t take it personal

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

So to send a face picture privately, you expect them to have one publicly?

That doesn't make any sense

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Don't message those people then... Not sure what the problem is

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By *r_reus OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature.

I get your point but you (i.e guys) are the beggar in this situation not the chooser"

We can choose to not message them, which is what I do, don't expect to get far if you see yourself as a beggar.

But I see it often enough to feel it worthy of comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s best when they ask for a face pic , you send it then don’t hear back or get blocked ,

Just say not your type bye bye or something lol

The delete means they aren’t interested. Wouldn’t take it personal

I get it's not personal from your side. However equally I do think it's easy for girls to say that.

Let's be honest, how many times have you approached someone and been rejected....and even if that scenario happens you will almost certainly have many many other men interested in you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature.

I get your point but you (i.e guys) are the beggar in this situation not the chooser

We can choose to not message them, which is what I do, don't expect to get far if you see yourself as a beggar.

But I see it often enough to feel it worthy of comment."

Tongue in cheek mate, I didn't mean it literally haha and get a reasonable amount of responses.

The ratio isn't on your side is my basic point

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By *imisugarWoman
over a year ago

Rugby

I feel those that message first should be prepared to send first. Attraction is important to many.

I don't have a full face picture publicly.

If it makes me arrogant - I'd have to accept that viewpoint.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature."

Yeah cos sharing a face pic is so much more intimate/personal than sharing a dick pic

Of course it isn't arrogant. But if you don't want to don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We ask for one but also if we're messaging someone we like the look of always attach one to a first message. Don't see the point in chatting to people for ages only then to see them further down the line and not be attracted.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It’s best when they ask for a face pic , you send it then don’t hear back or get blocked ,

Just say not your type bye bye or something lol

The delete means they aren’t interested. Wouldn’t take it personal

I get it's not personal from your side. However equally I do think it's easy for girls to say that.

Let's be honest, how many times have you approached someone and been rejected....and even if that scenario happens you will almost certainly have many many other men interested in you"

I'm old enough to remember dating before online dating was a thing. I got rejected constantly. For years.

It's not like no women ever understand what that's like.

I'd also like to offer you a bit more sympathy than I got back in the day, because I'm not as horrible as the young men I dealt with.

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By *arialoueWoman
over a year ago

bradford

A face pic is an important thing to me the dick pics come after lol

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"It's an unfair request that's predominantly aimed at guys as let's be honest, it's a buyers market and the gents of fab have to sell themselves. We would always send a face pic first if we request one though, no point in chatting if either party thinks the other is a swamp donkey."

It's not unfair in the slightest.

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By *r_reus OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature.

Yeah cos sharing a face pic is so much more intimate/personal than sharing a dick pic

On here it is, as it's waiving your anonymity, showing off your penis isn't, unless you walk around with it out in public.

Though someone who'd do such a thing probably isn't phased by showing their face to strangers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't reply if guys don't read my profile, which says don't message me unless you include a clear face pic.

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By *unner6969Man
over a year ago

London

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature."

TSB, I’m afraid… Tough Shit Brother!

It’s a numbers game and we don’t get to dictate what women can demand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some profiles write it in an arrogant way, however others say it in a polite manner. I only send face pic to someone who asked for it, or to those whom I am interested in.

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By *armitelovelyMan
over a year ago

hornchurch

Always send one if asked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They still don't reply with a face pic so don't worry about it :D

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By *he ass man 666Man
over a year ago

paradise city

"It’s best when they ask for a face pic , you send it then don’t hear back or get blocked ,

Just say not your type bye bye or something lol

The delete means they aren’t interested. Wouldn’t take it personal

Dont really take it personally, more that if someone ask you to send a face pic , then be courteous and reply no ta ,it’s a manners thing really

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By *ibLeiMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I somehow understand your sentiment OP - although it’s hard to imagine a meet happening without seeing each other’s faces (a gentleman once told me in the forums he had multiple meets without ever sharing a face pic though, so it’s feasible). I’ve been in situations where people would reach out to me and request to show my face first. Not being ready to reciprocate shows a lack of manners.

The worst for me are dick pic requests - especially if they come from people not showing their face and genitals. They reek of entitlement and are disrespectful IMO. I’m sorry but I’m a human being, not some sort of “merchandise” that needs to be inspected before “purchase”.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I somehow understand your sentiment OP - although it’s hard to imagine a meet happening without seeing each other’s faces (a gentleman once told me in the forums he had multiple meets without ever sharing a face pic though, so it’s feasible). I’ve been in situations where people would reach out to me and request to show my face first. Not being ready to reciprocate shows a lack of manners.

Again it's the power dynamic that is a direct result of the one sided ratio on here.

Women can sit back and say if you message first you send a face pic first. It's easy for them to take that stance because they don't have to message anyone...as a guy we know it's highly unlikely a single Women will message you first.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Mr DD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Mr DD"

Lol that actually made me chuckle

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By *he ass man 666Man
over a year ago

paradise city

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD"

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

people use thier profiles as they wish if that not to your liking then dont message them its pretty simple they do what suits them not you ...

ive put on my profile you message me first you provide face pic first if i message first and i do often ill send mine first thats my rules that work for me if no one likes that then dont message lol i ant going to lose any sleep over it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Mr DD"

Also we're definitely not the minority here, in actual fact men make the absolute super majority on here hence the issue

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

If no face pic means no reply, and you don't want to send a face pic, don't message them.

It's a pretty simple process

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By *ibLeiMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Again it's the power dynamic that is a direct result of the one sided ratio on here.

The thing is that I personally don’t have a problem sending a face pic, especially when *I* message first. But if a lady/couple messages first + have no face picture on their profile or attached to the first message + ask to see my face first, yeah that’s a p*ss take.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature.

Yeah cos sharing a face pic is so much more intimate/personal than sharing a dick pic

On here it is, as it's waiving your anonymity, showing off your penis isn't, unless you walk around with it out in public.

Though someone who'd do such a thing probably isn't phased by showing their face to strangers."

Very very few people meet without swapping face pics. So they don't remain anonymous for long.

I imagine those who are here without their partner's knowledge are more likely to want to remain anonymous (until assured it's not their partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we make the first contact then we'd send first, if someone contacts us first we'd expect them to send first.. after we've sent face pics if we didn't get a reply then it wouldn't bother us in the slightest.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Mr DD"

They can throw their toys out of their pram. Oh and do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Again it's the power dynamic that is a direct result of the one sided ratio on here.

I honestly don't have an issue with sending a face pic either.

But my point is it doesn't matter on here if you're ok with it or not....no single girl is likely to message you first on here, so you have to message first and you have to send a face pic. Simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Again it's the power dynamic that is a direct result of the one sided ratio on here.

I honestly don't have an issue with sending a face pic either.

But my point is it doesn't matter on here if you're ok with it or not....no single girl is likely to message you first on here, so you have to message first and you have to send a face pic. Simples

That's if you ever want to actually have a message in your inbox from a decent looking female

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD"

I didn’t bring race into anything.

Mr DD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD

I didn’t bring race into anything.

Mr DD"

You did literally say white male....implying that other races of male don't face this particular problem.

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By *r_reus OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

You've gone way off topic but based on just about every political decision I've seen made these past few years, in seems that straight white men are the ONLY demographic you can discriminate against in modern society.

But as I said, way off topic.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD

I didn’t bring race into anything.

Mr DD

You did literally say white male....implying that other races of male don't face this particular problem.

I’m not implying that men of other races don’t face that problem, I’m implying that straight white males face very little discrimination in comparison to pretty much any other group. That’s why they whine about it so much when something comparable to discrimination, in even the smallest way, happens to them.

Mr DD

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature."

Not at all arrogant in my opinion.

There's a huge difference between sharing your photo with those you're genuinely interested in meeting and having your face freely visible to all.

If you'd rather not share your face on first contact, you're clearly just not compatible with those people.

Nita

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

But as I said, way off topic."

Bless

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD

I didn’t bring race into anything.

Mr DD

You did literally say white male....implying that other races of male don't face this particular problem.

Mr DD"

I totally got what you were implying and yes it made sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD

I didn’t bring race into anything.

Mr DD

You did literally say white male....implying that other races of male don't face this particular problem.

Mr DD"

So that is literally bringing race into it but it's specific to white men

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD

I didn’t bring race into anything.

Mr DD

You did literally say white male....implying that other races of male don't face this particular problem.

Mr DD

I totally got what you were implying and yes it made sense."

Yep, made perfect sense to me as well.

Nita

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Oh god.

Please don't activate the manosphere.

There's far too much of it around these parts already.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD

I didn’t bring race into anything.

Mr DD

You did literally say white male....implying that other races of male don't face this particular problem.

Mr DD

I totally got what you were implying and yes it made sense.

Yep, made perfect sense to me as well.

Nita"

It makes sense but it's still bringing race into it

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD

I didn’t bring race into anything.

Mr DD

You did literally say white male....implying that other races of male don't face this particular problem.

Mr DD

So that is literally bringing race into it but it's specific to white men

You don't get it. The poster is temporarily broadening the context, IE in the world pale, stale and male are less discriminated than any other group (swap the stale for gay), but here they see positive bias for or from other group types making them feel discriminated against.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD

I didn’t bring race into anything.

Mr DD

You did literally say white male....implying that other races of male don't face this particular problem.

Mr DD

I totally got what you were implying and yes it made sense.

Yep, made perfect sense to me as well.

Nita

It makes sense but it's still bringing race into it

And gender, and sexual orientation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD

I didn’t bring race into anything.

Mr DD

You did literally say white male....implying that other races of male don't face this particular problem.

Mr DD

So that is literally bringing race into it but it's specific to white men

Darling I'm 29, I'm young and fresh certainly not stale

On that point though. I would politely argue younger white men certainly don't have any great advantages in society. There is already plenty of data driven evidence that white male students perform the worst at schools.

If you've ever seen a graduate scheme, you'll see the same clear desire by the company to be seen as diverse and as a white male your clearly not the target audience audience.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD

I didn’t bring race into anything.

Mr DD

You did literally say white male....implying that other races of male don't face this particular problem.

Mr DD

So that is literally bringing race into it but it's specific to white men

Darling I'm 29, I'm young and fresh certainly not stale

If you've ever seen a graduate scheme, you'll see the same clear desire by the company to be seen as diverse and as a white male your clearly not the target audience audience. "

The phrase ‘stale, pale, male’ was used to describe the predominantly white, older men that tended to be found in positions of power.

I first heard the phrase in a drama series and it stuck in my head.

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

My policy which I never break for anyone is:

You ask for face pic, you send yours 1st!

It’s even crazier when they ask for face pics when they have no pics at all on profile hahaha

Block block block

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By *lithyflierMan
over a year ago

near to you

"It’s best when they ask for a face pic , you send it then don’t hear back or get blocked ,

Just say not your type bye bye or something lol

I completely agree with you on this as I’ve just seen a thread and a female was moaning that she shouldn’t have follow up messages as it fills her inbox up and she just doesn’t have time to respond.

Had a quick look, 18-99 age, M,F,TV, MF,MM not one restriction and she’s moaning why… she’s 21, and it’s just attention seeking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD

I didn’t bring race into anything.

Mr DD

You did literally say white male....implying that other races of male don't face this particular problem.

Mr DD

So that is literally bringing race into it but it's specific to white men

Darling I'm 29, I'm young and fresh certainly not stale

If you've ever seen a graduate scheme, you'll see the same clear desire by the company to be seen as diverse and as a white male your clearly not the target audience audience.

The phrase ‘stale, pale, male’ was used to describe the predominantly white, older men that tended to be found in positions of power.

I first heard the phrase in a drama series and it stuck in my head."

Yes exactly older white men do find themselves in position of power...young white men often get lumped into the same category when their actual position in life is very different.

As a young white male you face the same issues as other young people...poorer off then previous generations,unaffordable rent, can't get on the housing market, ridiculous student debts.

You're more likely to be my landlord but you tell me about my supposed great privilege in life

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I think people can ask for whatever they choose to on their profiles, as long as it's not offensive.

I don't ask for a face pic first message, but I can understand why some do ie if they're innundated with mail, it's a good filter & allows them to see if there's an attraction from the start.

I have had messages asking me for a face pic first message, when they haven't attached one & found that cheeky too.

I kind of think if you want to see my mush, send yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Stale, pale, male?’

Is the female equivalent ‘crusty, old, cunt?’

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"‘Stale, pale, male?’

Is the female equivalent ‘crusty, old, cunt?’"

Why, just why?

Misogyny!

Go Google the phrase then apologise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine are visable I do like to see someones face if they want to meet as I need to be attracted etc. I just don't see the point in having a lot of conversation if I'm not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mine are visable I do like to see someones face if they want to meet as I need to be attracted etc. I just don't see the point in having a lot of conversation if I'm not interested. "

Obviously I don't demand that someone sends me one not if I ask and they say no then well it is highly doubtful that it will go anywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's unfair. Anyone can ask for what they want and if you don't like it move on.

Facial attraction is a deal breaker for some so makes sense to ask up front. I agree it's a bit rude when they ask during conversation you send and they just delete and that's it.

That's a bit like having a conversation with someone in a bar and they just get up and walk away. But again, people can choose to be rude if they wish.

So best to just do what works for you as you can't control other peoples preferences, actions or behaviour.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

[Removed by poster at 15/11/23 06:49:25]

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Strange you brought race into in like , sure people of all genders and race have the same issues at some point

Mr DD

I didn’t bring race into anything.

Mr DD

You did literally say white male....implying that other races of male don't face this particular problem.

Mr DD

So that is literally bringing race into it but it's specific to white men

Darling I'm 29, I'm young and fresh certainly not stale

If you've ever seen a graduate scheme, you'll see the same clear desire by the company to be seen as diverse and as a white male your clearly not the target audience audience.

The phrase ‘stale, pale, male’ was used to describe the predominantly white, older men that tended to be found in positions of power.

I first heard the phrase in a drama series and it stuck in my head.

Yes exactly older white men do find themselves in position of power...young white men often get lumped into the same category when their actual position in life is very different.

As a young white male you face the same issues as other young people...poorer off then previous generations,unaffordable rent, can't get on the housing market, ridiculous student debts.

You're more likely to be my landlord but you tell me about my supposed great privilege in life"

No one is saying that straight white men (regardless of age) don’t have it tough at times, the point is that if you change any one of the three words then that person will have it even tougher.

Mr DD

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By *evonrobMan
over a year ago

Kingsbridge

Great thread! Highly entertaining! I’m an old white bloke but if asked I’ll send one. Don’t think I’m stale, I’m usually tanned but I’ll put my hands up to my gender!

Great chat everyone!

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Great thread! Highly entertaining! I’m an old white bloke but if asked I’ll send one. Don’t think I’m stale, I’m usually tanned but I’ll put my hands up to my gender!

Great chat everyone!"

You say you're old, that equals stale

. Pale = white. Male = well that bit is obvious.

In the drama I watched, it was a pale, stale, male that stated it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saves time. I send mine when im first to message so it wheedles out people who either cant be bothered to read your profile or who wont care about what you are looking for so its a dodged bullet for me.

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By *ornyguy666Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

I find they have so many restrictions eg..tall bbc large cock no asians white only not married not single goes on and no..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would expect to see a face pic if someone messaged us, but happy to return one back if we liked the person.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I find they have so many restrictions eg..tall bbc large cock no asians white only not married not single goes on and no.."

How very dare they

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By *aria_dreamgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

stockport

Makes a pleasant change from umpteen dick pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every initial message I send includes a face picture.

Absolutely no point in not including one. It's not blind date.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Having no pictures of themselves yet request. Really is defeating the purpose of trying to engage with their own sexual desires unless there just having a perv and wanking

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

"I find they have so many restrictions eg..tall bbc large cock no asians white only not married not single goes on and no.."

Some teeth, a pulse, dafuq is wrong with people

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By *ondoner27Man
over a year ago

london

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature."

I think its completely fair enough. If you message someone clearly you are interested in them, and in order for them to be interested they want to see your face. Nobody is obligated to do anything they dont want to do, if you dont want to share face pics thats of course fine but you will have to give people who require this a miss. Just like all other preferences really.

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By *kyblue1878Couple
over a year ago

Southport

Why would you be hesitant in sending a face pic with a message to a couple or single lady? It's not like they were chasing you and your message in the first instance would be completely random and out of the blue for them. What do you think they would do with it? They are either interested or not. You can even add the auto remove once read. The truth is, couples and single ladies get loads of messages, if there's no face pic you simply discard, there's no point in further engaging. Most genuine single guys would understand this and elevate themselves ahead of the rest by attaching a face pic if they don't already display one on their profile.

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By *utterypopcornCouple
over a year ago

oxford

Getting how to play the fab game for a single male is the answer on here.

A polite respectful accommodating approach will eventually give results.

Unpopular forum posts, negative status updates will also not be your friend or pave your way to success.

Not understanding for a couple who already have each other or you’re an Adonis of every woman’s dreams then you have to stand out in other ways.

Fab will be brutal…..

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By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

If Im seriously thinking about meeting someone, we do a video call.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How would you no if you liked them if you had never seen there face

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"How would you no if you liked them if you had never seen there face "

Rarely the conversation can smell attraction. I've been surprised many times prior to receiving a photo which lead further...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I won’t apologise. And no, it’s not at all misogynist and neither am I.

"‘Stale, pale, male?’

Is the female equivalent ‘crusty, old, cunt?’

Why, just why?

Misogyny!

Go Google the phrase then apologise!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to look up the definition of stale. Bring old does not make you stale and it is offensive to say it does.

"Great thread! Highly entertaining! I’m an old white bloke but if asked I’ll send one. Don’t think I’m stale, I’m usually tanned but I’ll put my hands up to my gender!

Great chat everyone!

You say you're old, that equals stale

. Pale = white. Male = well that bit is obvious.

In the drama I watched, it was a pale, stale, male that stated it."

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"You need to look up the definition of stale. Bring old does not make you stale and it is offensive to say it does.

Great thread! Highly entertaining! I’m an old white bloke but if asked I’ll send one. Don’t think I’m stale, I’m usually tanned but I’ll put my hands up to my gender!

Great chat everyone!

You say you're old, that equals stale

. Pale = white. Male = well that bit is obvious.

In the drama I watched, it was a pale, stale, male that stated it."

Christ almighty, it's an expression. Why are blokes such snowflakes

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"You need to look up the definition of stale. Bring old does not make you stale and it is offensive to say it does.

Great thread! Highly entertaining! I’m an old white bloke but if asked I’ll send one. Don’t think I’m stale, I’m usually tanned but I’ll put my hands up to my gender!

Great chat everyone!

You say you're old, that equals stale

. Pale = white. Male = well that bit is obvious.

In the drama I watched, it was a pale, stale, male that stated it.

Christ almighty, it's an expression. Why are blokes such snowflakes

Thank you!

I shake my head in disbelief at the lack of comprehension here at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Throwing my small two cents in

I think if a profile that doesn’t have a pfp is saying they won’t respond unless you have one is rather silly. But if they do and they are requesting it. It’s just a matter of that that person/couple. Are seeing if there is an instant attraction first.

But still pretty new to this so maybe just talking shit. Reading through this is helping me get an idea for it ha

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"You need to look up the definition of stale. Bring old does not make you stale and it is offensive to say it does.

Great thread! Highly entertaining! I’m an old white bloke but if asked I’ll send one. Don’t think I’m stale, I’m usually tanned but I’ll put my hands up to my gender!

Great chat everyone!

You say you're old, that equals stale

. Pale = white. Male = well that bit is obvious.

In the drama I watched, it was a pale, stale, male that stated it.

Christ almighty, it's an expression. Why are blokes such snowflakes

Thank you!

I shake my head in disbelief at the lack of comprehension here at times."

It's deliberate. If you throw a tantrum you can distract from the entitlement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature."

Agreed.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"I don’t have one publicly.

If I messaged someone I was interested in, I’d send it.

Don’t feel it’s arrogant at all.

Pointless wasting peoples time if it’s important to them

I find it more rude to ignore the profile and then moan when they don’t reply/ aren’t interested

This

I wouldn't feel safe having my face pic public. (Some) Men just can't help themselves, even now I get asked if I was in certain places as they think they've seen me or get told we probably see each other around. It's creepy AF.

No one's forcing you to send it.

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By *earmegrowlMan
over a year ago

wolves

I will send a face pic to those who ask and I know are genuine swingers and not just fakes

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Mr DD"

This is such an great point. Imagine not having the privilege you're normally afforded. Boo hoo...

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By *hortishblondeWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I don't have one public but if I'm shown a face pic I will unless im not sure about the person

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By *loss aka Miss JonesWoman
over a year ago

south coast IOW

I do send a face pic if I message first.

I ask for a pic and say I prefer a face pic and don’t want a six pic but don’t say I won’t reply if you don’t send one, is this the kind of thing you mean OP? Or do you mean ‘no pic auto block’ kind of thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Their profile their choice.

If you think any request the profile makes is inappropriate move on block if necessary

My way of working

Whoever contacts first sends first, I send as a rule very early in the conversation, I request face pictures in my profile..up to the reader to decide yey or nay

I see fab as a two way street, thats not me being arrogant its knowing my worth

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I don’t have one publicly.

If I messaged someone I was interested in, I’d send it.

Don’t feel it’s arrogant at all.

Pointless wasting peoples time if it’s important to them

I find it more rude to ignore the profile and then moan when they don’t reply/ aren’t interested

This

No one's forcing you to send it. "

I've heard some awful stories from women who have their face pictures public

And guys here think it's remotely comparable to wanting to see a face picture *in a message*

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"You need to look up the definition of stale. Bring old does not make you stale and it is offensive to say it does.

Great thread! Highly entertaining! I’m an old white bloke but if asked I’ll send one. Don’t think I’m stale, I’m usually tanned but I’ll put my hands up to my gender!

Great chat everyone!

You say you're old, that equals stale

. Pale = white. Male = well that bit is obvious.

In the drama I watched, it was a pale, stale, male that stated it.

Christ almighty, it's an expression. Why are blokes such snowflakes

Thank you!

I shake my head in disbelief at the lack of comprehension here at times.

It's deliberate. If you throw a tantrum you can distract from the entitlement."

Perhaps.

Perhaps inability to Google a phrase.

Perhaps fragile ego, ergo defensive, ergo offensive, when it's extremely likely most men on fab would not fall into the very small demographic of said phrase.

Now Bojo and his ilk and we're talking.

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By *r_reus OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

'Pale, male and stale' is a racist, sexist and ageist expression.

No?

Then imagine a journalist calling a black run company's management 'black, slack and whack'

They'd be sacked immediately, blacklisted from ever working in media again, have their bank account frozen and likely be doxed to boot.

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By *hegirlwiththepeachtattooWoman
over a year ago

I find it more arrogant when someone expects a reply from me when I have no idea what they look like and therefore, whether I’ll be interested in them. Does anyone force you to message them? No. So if literally anything someone has on their profile doesn’t suit you… just scroll on to the next one?!

All women get a lot of messages. If you want a chance of being noticed in the sea of dick pics, you need to fit whatever it is they’re looking for.

I don’t demand that anyone initiates contact with me, and I don’t have time to waste chatting with people I don’t fancy or won’t ever meet. If someone doesn’t like that… I really don’t care. Message someone who doesn’t want to see your face instead.

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By *-YourPleasureMan
over a year ago

southdowns

I would only send a pic to someone I have chatted to for a little while and feel confident we have a connection first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a tantrum at all. Merely pointing out the misuse of a word. I’m not sure why you would bring ‘entitlement’ into it, seems to be a default phrase for some people when they’re argument has run its course.

"You need to look up the definition of stale. Bring old does not make you stale and it is offensive to say it does.

Great thread! Highly entertaining! I’m an old white bloke but if asked I’ll send one. Don’t think I’m stale, I’m usually tanned but I’ll put my hands up to my gender!

Great chat everyone!

You say you're old, that equals stale

. Pale = white. Male = well that bit is obvious.

In the drama I watched, it was a pale, stale, male that stated it.

Christ almighty, it's an expression. Why are blokes such snowflakes

Thank you!

I shake my head in disbelief at the lack of comprehension here at times.

It's deliberate. If you throw a tantrum you can distract from the entitlement."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How comes people request a face picture when I have face pictures on my profile?

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"How comes people request a face picture when I have face pictures on my profile?"

•

Because you have whetted their salacious appetites and they crave another one, a personal one, a photographic selfie taken presently by you for them to lust over with unbridled glee and satisfaction.

And, what a majestic montage of photographs you have, dear sir. †

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"How comes people request a face picture when I have face pictures on my profile?"

All my male friends have gotten excited by your face pictures

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"How comes people request a face picture when I have face pictures on my profile?

•

Because you have whetted their salacious appetites and they crave another one, a personal one, a photographic selfie taken presently by you for them to lust over with unbridled glee and satisfaction.

And, what a majestic montage of photographs you have, dear sir. †

*utterly irrelevant to thread*

I do so love your way with words, you make even the smallest of comments so beautiful to read.

*relevant*

I don't think I'd meet anyone without a face pic but then I'm also happy to share one if we are happily chatting. Not really a huge thing to me.

MrsAbz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t have one publicly.

If I messaged someone I was interested in, I’d send it.

Don’t feel it’s arrogant at all.

Pointless wasting peoples time if it’s important to them

I find it more rude to ignore the profile and then moan when they don’t reply/ aren’t interested

This. Exactly this.

If someone has peaked my interest enough for me to send them a message, then I should theoretically have no problem with showing them my face. Especially if that’s a specific request on their profile.

Having the attitude, in my opinion, that sending a face picture is too much effort, smacks to me of typical male entitlement. If I’m the one initiating the contact, then surely it falls to me to show my face. I am not entitled to dictate the terms for anyone else to reply to me.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"'Pale, male and stale' is a racist, sexist and ageist expression.

No?

Then imagine a journalist calling a black run company's management 'black, slack and whack'

They'd be sacked immediately, blacklisted from ever working in media again, have their bank account frozen and likely be doxed to boot."

"... the phrase coined by NASA administrator Daniel Goldin in 1992, makes me “pale, male, and stale”: a self-deprecating description cooked up by a middle-aged white man to make the point that filling your top jobs with middle-aged white men, year after year, is a myopic leadership strategy".

There you go, no racist, sexist or ageist intent. It's a succinct expression. Its intent is to create diversity/inclusivity. It's not meant to offend individuals but to highlight a collective that needs challenging and changing.

So stop with the "snowflaking".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Individual entitlement, it’s not limited to males as you’re trying to suggest. Women are as likely to not be bothered to send a face pic as anyone else.

Lots of man bashing on this thread. Getting a bit tiresome

"I don’t have one publicly.

If I messaged someone I was interested in, I’d send it.

Don’t feel it’s arrogant at all.

Pointless wasting peoples time if it’s important to them

I find it more rude to ignore the profile and then moan when they don’t reply/ aren’t interested

This. Exactly this.

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By *r_reus OP Man
over a year ago

Coventry

"'Pale, male and stale' is a racist, sexist and ageist expression.

No?

Then imagine a journalist calling a black run company's management 'black, slack and whack'

They'd be sacked immediately, blacklisted from ever working in media again, have their bank account frozen and likely be doxed to boot.

So stop with the "snowflaking"."

There was never an identity based drive to get middle aged white men into those positions, unlike DEI or Affirmative Action, and as I said, if such comments were directed toward black men, there'd be hell to pay.

As I said, 'pale, male and stale' is a racist, sexist and ageist expression - and perhaps drop the 'snowflake' remark, 2016 was 7 years ago.

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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst

"How comes people request a face picture when I have face pictures on my profile?"

Maybe they can't get enough of the good stuff, Carib-King

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature."

Just ignore those profiles, either they get more than enough requests, or they think too highly of themselves, it'll be sore experience either way. It's a very arrogant thing to ask. There are loads of men here and women generally set the tone. Some of my more decent conversations were with people that new it was more polite to send a picture first if they want to share faces.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"'Pale, male and stale' is a racist, sexist and ageist expression.

No?

Then imagine a journalist calling a black run company's management 'black, slack and whack'

They'd be sacked immediately, blacklisted from ever working in media again, have their bank account frozen and likely be doxed to boot.

So stop with the "snowflaking".

As I said, 'pale, male and stale' is a racist, sexist and ageist expression - and perhaps drop the 'snowflake' remark, 2016 was 7 years ago."

There wasn't a drive as it was (could still be in some areas?) the default demographic

. You want to believe it's all about separate isms you go right ahead; but you're wrong! It's about correcting the isms.

And as for snowflake (snowflaking) I'm late to the party, and I don't recall using it before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly. Just ignore the profile and seek out less arrogant people

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

Exactly. Just ignore the profile and seek out less arrogant people"

What you see as arrogance I see as someone choosing how to interact with others. Let's be honest here, many people don't read profiles anyway so it's a moot point for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

100% agree

"'Pale, male and stale' is a racist, sexist and ageist expression.

No?

Then imagine a journalist calling a black run company's management 'black, slack and whack'

They'd be sacked immediately, blacklisted from ever working in media again, have their bank account frozen and likely be doxed to boot.

So stop with the "snowflaking".

As I said, 'pale, male and stale' is a racist, sexist and ageist expression - and perhaps drop the 'snowflake' remark, 2016 was 7 years ago."

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

It is typically aimed at guys totally agree, if you’re not single and claim to be makes you think twice before messaging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly. Just ignore the profile and seek out less arrogant people"

A bit of a generalisation. I’ve had amazing meets with people who asked for face pics as a prerequisite for contacting them. I don’t see it as arrogance, I see it as another type of message filter. I was prepared to take the risk and meet their requirements - it led to great conversation and good meetings.

There have been times when I’ve sent a message with face pics and not had a reply. That’s fine. I didn’t float their boat. I shake it off. I delete my pictures from the message thread and don’t bother them again. I have a thick skin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly. Just ignore the profile and seek out less arrogant people

What you see as arrogance I see as someone choosing how to interact with others. Let's be honest here, many people don't read profiles anyway so it's a moot point for them

Not reading profiles is a different conversation. But asking someone to share their pictures first as a condition of replying is weird when it's coming from profiles with absolutely nothing. I have stopped engaging those profiles as it is their choice to demand that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly. Just ignore the profile and seek out less arrogant people

Deleting your pictures after you sent it is only available to paying supporters (that's primarily why I paid).

I don't think anyone without a thick skin can court women, rejection comes with the territory.

For me it's about mutual consideration. You're asking someone to be vulnerable and open themselves up to you, before any effort is made to be fair yourself.

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By *hegirlwiththepeachtattooWoman
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature.

Ask any one of my meets if it’s been a “sore experience”. Please, go ahead.

Your comments reek of being butt-hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you explain ‘being butt hurt’?

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature.

Ask any one of my meets if it’s been a “sore experience”. Please, go ahead.

Your comments reek of being butt-hurt. "

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Can you explain ‘being butt hurt’? "

INFORMAL•US

adjective

adjective: butt-hurt

overly or unjustifiably offended or resentful.

"they're all butthurt that she released the album online first"

noun

noun: butt-hurt

an excessive or unjustifiable feeling of personal offence or resentment.

"it's time to get over the butthurt from last year's playoffs"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature."

Not if you’re messages first. They not asked you to message, they asked you to include a face pic if you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature.

Not if you’re messages first. They not asked you to message, they asked you to include a face pic if you do. "

Exactly. I don’t see why people are getting their testicles in a twist about this.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah an American phrase. I’ll file it away with all their other crap phrases.

"Can you explain ‘being butt hurt’?

INFORMAL•US

adjective

adjective: butt-hurt

overly or unjustifiably offended or resentful.

"they're all butthurt that she released the album online first"

noun

noun: butt-hurt

an excessive or unjustifiable feeling of personal offence or resentment.

"it's time to get over the butthurt from last year's playoffs""

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature."

Doesn't bother me at all, yes they don't have them public but probably do send in messages.

I'm not wasting my time chatting to a faceless profile to find out I don't like them once they finally send a face pic.

Mrs

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Ah an American phrase. I’ll file it away with all their other crap phrases. "

Oh, sorry, I forget how Cumbria is. Apologies that there's only the soft southerner definition, I haven't the energy to search for a northern dictionary. Here's the Cambridge definition for you:

offended and upset, especially in a way that is silly or unreasonable:

He gets all butthurt just because I defend my position.

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

It's not arrogant in the slightest.

Personally, I have my face on show on my profile and I like to see what others that I am communicating with look like.

I can also understand that many on here don't want to show their faces publicly, so am more than happy to send face pics in any message, but I will want them to send face pics back if they choose to reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature.

Doesn't bother me at all, yes they don't have them public but probably do send in messages.

I'm not wasting my time chatting to a faceless profile to find out I don't like them once they finally send a face pic.

Mrs "

Absolutely this

. I have no problem sending mine/ours in return.

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Ah an American phrase. I’ll file it away with all their other crap phrases.

Oh, sorry, I forget how Cumbria is. Apologies that there's only the soft southerner definition, I haven't the energy to search for a northern dictionary. Here's the Cambridge definition for you:

offended and upset, especially in a way that is silly or unreasonable:

He gets all butthurt just because I defend my position."

Oh dear, another one bites the dust

You're a formidable woman H, keep it up

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody asked you to do anything. You took it upon yourself to stick your beak in

Ah an American phrase. I’ll file it away with all their other crap phrases.

Oh, sorry, I forget how Cumbria is. Apologies that there's only the soft southerner definition, I haven't the energy to search for a northern dictionary. Here's the Cambridge definition for you:

offended and upset, especially in a way that is silly or unreasonable:

He gets all butthurt just because I defend my position."

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Nobody asked you to do anything. You took it upon yourself to stick your beak in "

Oh of course. Why would I contribute by answering a query in an open forum?

How silly of me and my beak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody asked you to do anything. You took it upon yourself to stick your beak in."

Who hurt you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody pal. Just fighting my corner, like we all should be.

"Nobody asked you to do anything. You took it upon yourself to stick your beak in.

Who hurt you?"

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Nobody pal. Just fighting my corner, like we all should be.

Nobody asked you to do anything. You took it upon yourself to stick your beak in.

Who hurt you?

It's an important corner. Defending the world from people who answer questions. You keep fighting the good fight man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How is it arrogant? People just want to know if they're attracted to a person before messaging them. I don't see how it's arrogant to only reply to people you're interested in.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"Does anyone else find this incredibly arrogant on someone's profile, especially as they typically won't have one themselves?

Sure, I get the whole needing to feel an attraction part, but understandably sharing face pics is very personal for most, particularly on a site of this intimate nature.

Not if you’re messages first. They not asked you to message, they asked you to include a face pic if you do.

Exactly. I don’t see why people are getting their testicles in a twist about this. "

Me top, but it's a good filter.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

*too not top*

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

"*too not top*"

Damn, was looking for a top as well

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"*too not top*

Damn, was looking for a top as well

Ha ha, sorry to get your hopes up

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boy oh boy this thread took a nose dive….

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Another excellent filter thread, so many entitled men.

Mr DD

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *trueceltMan
over a year ago

Brynamman

I've fallen into this trap many, many times. When people say 'no face pic, no reply' they really mean to say 'no face pic THAT I LIKE, no reply'.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I've fallen into this trap many, many times. When people say 'no face pic, no reply' they really mean to say 'no face pic THAT I LIKE, no reply'. "

Well, yes. If there's no attraction, it won't proceed. Does that really need to be spelled out? I would have thought it was bleedingly obvious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There goes that beak again. You really must learn to control it

"Nobody pal. Just fighting my corner, like we all should be.

Nobody asked you to do anything. You took it upon yourself to stick your beak in.

Who hurt you?

It's an important corner. Defending the world from people who answer questions. You keep fighting the good fight man

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"There goes that beak again. You really must learn to control it

Nobody pal. Just fighting my corner, like we all should be.

Nobody asked you to do anything. You took it upon yourself to stick your beak in.

Who hurt you?

It's an important corner. Defending the world from people who answer questions. You keep fighting the good fight man

If that's aimed at prey, why should she? Its a forum and people are allowed their opinions, whether you agree or not.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"There goes that beak again. You really must learn to control it"

It is exactly as controlled as it ever intends to be

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I didn't realise that there were segregated forum sections where only men can venture.

Seems a bit 1960s. Sorry, I can't fuck wildly, my husband won't let me have the pill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t feed the troll with a bloated sense of entitlement.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Don’t feed the troll with a bloated sense of entitlement. "

I thought it was more like smacking a dog with a newspaper.

I suppose that's cruel, though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow talk about going off topic and generalising. I really can’t be arsed burning anymore calories on this. Enjoy

"There goes that beak again. You really must learn to control it

It is exactly as controlled as it ever intends to be

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Wow talk about going off topic and generalising. I really can’t be arsed burning anymore calories on this. Enjoy "

My deepest apologies for going so off topic and generalising by answering your query with a quote from a quick google that didn't leave room for more tantrums in that line. How terribly awful of me. Excuse me while I go work out a suitable penance

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Wow talk about going off topic and generalising. I really can’t be arsed burning anymore calories on this. Enjoy

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *i50kaCouple
over a year ago

Worcestershire

we say no pictures no chat

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"Wow talk about going off topic and generalising. I really can’t be arsed burning anymore calories on this. Enjoy

Woman, know your place etc.

Mr DD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How comes people request a face picture when I have face pictures on my profile?

All my male friends have gotten excited by your face pictures "
Not something I want to know or hear but thanks anyways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are the majority of your posts criticising other people for what they write on their own profiles?

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Why are the majority of your posts criticising other people for what they write on their own profiles? "

Doesn't like exclusion criteria?

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

If people will only accept messages with face pics that’s their prerogative. No-one is obliged to contact them.

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By *uskysoundsCouple
over a year ago

Mazarrón, Spain

"We ask for one but also if we're messaging someone we like the look of always attach one to a first message. Don't see the point in chatting to people for ages only then to see them further down the line and not be attracted. "

This is the perfect response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Mr DD

This is such an great point. Imagine not having the privilege you're normally afforded. Boo hoo..."

What privilege, the general sentiment shows out of touch a lot of people are with the reality of being a young white male.

From a jobs perspective a young/ recently graduated, well educated women will have better opportunities in the work place than her male counterpart.

I'm what area of life do I have some great advantage ? Education ?(No, girls out perform boys easily), in the workplace? No...in the dating world? No ...In the housing market? No

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Mr DD

This is such an great point. Imagine not having the privilege you're normally afforded. Boo hoo...

What privilege, the general sentiment shows out of touch a lot of people are with the reality of being a young white male.

From a jobs perspective a young/ recently graduated, well educated women will have better opportunities in the work place than her male counterpart.

I'm what area of life do I have some great advantage ? Education ?(No, girls out perform boys easily), in the workplace? No...in the dating world? No ...In the housing market? No "

When you walk alone down a dark street, what are the odds of you being sexually harassed, abused, assaulted or attacked?

Do you cover your drink when you leave the table at a pub, in case someone spikes it and r*pes you?

This is a subject for a different thread but if you can acknowledge that being male offers you a distinct level of privilege, I feel bad for you.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Mr DD

This is such an great point. Imagine not having the privilege you're normally afforded. Boo hoo...

What privilege, the general sentiment shows out of touch a lot of people are with the reality of being a young white male.

From a jobs perspective a young/ recently graduated, well educated women will have better opportunities in the work place than her male counterpart.

I'm what area of life do I have some great advantage ? Education ?(No, girls out perform boys easily), in the workplace? No...in the dating world? No ...In the housing market? No

When you walk alone down a dark street, what are the odds of you being sexually harassed, abused, assaulted or attacked?

Do you cover your drink when you leave the table at a pub, in case someone spikes it and r*pes you?

This is a subject for a different thread but if you can acknowledge that being male offers you a distinct level of privilege, I feel bad for you. "

How about male suicide rates ? It's about a 3-1 ratio of men committing suicide to women. If that ratio was reversed and more of it would be a national outrage.

It barely gets mentioned because men are affected more

....And yes I do pay attention to my drink in a bar

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

What privilege, the general sentiment shows out of touch a lot of people are with the reality of being a young white male.

From a jobs perspective a young/ recently graduated, well educated women will have better opportunities in the work place than her male counterpart. "

Sometimes I’m a bit old fashioned, so I’m going to have to ask if you have any evidence of this?

" I'm what area of life do I have some great advantage ? Education ?(No, girls out perform boys easily), "

You know that girls don’t outperform boys because education isn’t a balanced playing field, don’t you? It’s because they work harder. That’s not discrimination.

" in the dating world? No"

You’re telling on yourself with that one.

" In the housing market? No "

How do you ‘outperform’ someone in the housing market? Are houses somehow cheaper if you are a woman?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What privilege, the general sentiment shows out of touch a lot of people are with the reality of being a young white male.

From a jobs perspective a young/ recently graduated, well educated women will have better opportunities in the work place than her male counterpart.

Sometimes I’m a bit old fashioned, so I’m going to have to ask if you have any evidence of this?

I'm what area of life do I have some great advantage ? Education ?(No, girls out perform boys easily),

You know that girls don’t outperform boys because education isn’t a balanced playing field, don’t you? It’s because they work harder. That’s not discrimination.

in the dating world? No

You’re telling on yourself with that one.

In the housing market? No

How do you ‘outperform’ someone in the housing market? Are houses somehow cheaper if you are a woman?"

I'm not the one attacking a particular demographic for having an advantage. You're the ones who have consistently stated men are the privileged ones.

My question to you is how am I greatly privileged in everyday life as a young straight white male.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"How about male suicide rates ? It's about a 3-1 ratio of men committing suicide to women. If that ratio was reversed and more of it would be a national outrage.

It barely gets mentioned because men are affected more

....And yes I do pay attention to my drink in a bar "

Looking at homicide statistics for 2010 to 2022, in terms of victims of violence, the ratio is about 1 female to 3 male. In terms of perpetrators of violence, it's closer to 1 to 9. The suicide rates don't seem all that out of line beside that.

If you genuinely can't grasp the idea of the privileges afforded just for being born a straight white male then there's no point trying to explain it to you. A quick Google brings up primarily the privileges of being middle class to he honest, but they all also include some very valid points about representation, safety and deep seated preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Andrew Tate called. He wants his talking points back.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not just young white males apparently all white males are privileged if you listen to some people. It’s a sad state indeed.

"Whenever I see these threads I can’t help thinking that straight white men are getting a little taste of what it’s like to be a discriminated against minority.

It’s wrong, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t happen, and they are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Mr DD

This is such an great point. Imagine not having the privilege you're normally afforded. Boo hoo...

What privilege, the general sentiment shows out of touch a lot of people are with the reality of being a young white male.

From a jobs perspective a young/ recently graduated, well educated women will have better opportunities in the work place than her male counterpart.

I'm what area of life do I have some great advantage ? Education ?(No, girls out perform boys easily), in the workplace? No...in the dating world? No ...In the housing market? No "

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

This whole thread is bullshit, the original point has been lost and is now just a slanging match.

Mods should just close it.

We share face pics, we don't expect anyone else to do so, if we plan to meet at a club we may ask so we recognise them. Apart from that it's all personal preference. Respect that.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about male suicide rates ? It's about a 3-1 ratio of men committing suicide to women. If that ratio was reversed and more of it would be a national outrage.

It barely gets mentioned because men are affected more

....And yes I do pay attention to my drink in a bar

I will happily admit I'm middle class and I'm doing fine in life haha....but that has nothing to do with me being a straight white male

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

What privilege, the general sentiment shows out of touch a lot of people are with the reality of being a young white male.

From a jobs perspective a young/ recently graduated, well educated women will have better opportunities in the work place than her male counterpart.

Sometimes I’m a bit old fashioned, so I’m going to have to ask if you have any evidence of this?

I'm what area of life do I have some great advantage ? Education ?(No, girls out perform boys easily),

You know that girls don’t outperform boys because education isn’t a balanced playing field, don’t you? It’s because they work harder. That’s not discrimination.

in the dating world? No

You’re telling on yourself with that one.

In the housing market? No

How do you ‘outperform’ someone in the housing market? Are houses somehow cheaper if you are a woman?

I'm not the one attacking a particular demographic for having an advantage. You're the ones who have consistently stated men are the privileged ones.

My question to you is how am I greatly privileged in everyday life as a young straight white male. "

All I’ve done is ask you to provide evidence of what you’ve stated as fact, just because you’ve said it doesn’t make it true.

As I’ve already mentioned, no one is saying straight white men have an easy life, it’s just that all the evidence shows that the moment you change one of those words life gets even harder.

You might not like it but that’s what the evidence shows. I’m happy for you to prove me wrong.

Mr DD

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What privilege, the general sentiment shows out of touch a lot of people are with the reality of being a young white male.

From a jobs perspective a young/ recently graduated, well educated women will have better opportunities in the work place than her male counterpart.

Sometimes I’m a bit old fashioned, so I’m going to have to ask if you have any evidence of this?

I'm what area of life do I have some great advantage ? Education ?(No, girls out perform boys easily),

You know that girls don’t outperform boys because education isn’t a balanced playing field, don’t you? It’s because they work harder. That’s not discrimination.

in the dating world? No

You’re telling on yourself with that one.

In the housing market? No

How do you ‘outperform’ someone in the housing market? Are houses somehow cheaper if you are a woman?

I'm not the one attacking a particular demographic for having an advantage. You're the ones who have consistently stated men are the privileged ones.

My question to you is how am I greatly privileged in everyday life as a young straight white male.

All I’ve done is ask you to provide evidence of what you’ve stated as fact, just because you’ve said it doesn’t make it true.

As I’ve already mentioned, no one is saying straight white men have an easy life, it’s just that all the evidence shows that the moment you change one of those words life gets even harder.

You might not like it but that’s what the evidence shows. I’m happy for you to prove me wrong.

Mr DD"

You haven't provided any evidence?

This whole thread started numerous women claiming straight white men are privileged, so the burden of proof for that is on you.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You haven't provided any evidence?

This whole thread started numerous women claiming straight white men are privileged, so the burden of proof for that is on you.

Kendal et al, 2002, ‘Understanding White Privilege’

Kwate, Goodman et al. , National Library of Medicine 2014, ‘ An empirical analysis of White privilege, social position and health’

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

What privilege, the general sentiment shows out of touch a lot of people are with the reality of being a young white male.

From a jobs perspective a young/ recently graduated, well educated women will have better opportunities in the work place than her male counterpart.

Sometimes I’m a bit old fashioned, so I’m going to have to ask if you have any evidence of this?

I'm what area of life do I have some great advantage ? Education ?(No, girls out perform boys easily),

You know that girls don’t outperform boys because education isn’t a balanced playing field, don’t you? It’s because they work harder. That’s not discrimination.

in the dating world? No

You’re telling on yourself with that one.

In the housing market? No

How do you ‘outperform’ someone in the housing market? Are houses somehow cheaper if you are a woman?

I'm not the one attacking a particular demographic for having an advantage. You're the ones who have consistently stated men are the privileged ones.

My question to you is how am I greatly privileged in everyday life as a young straight white male.

All I’ve done is ask you to provide evidence of what you’ve stated as fact, just because you’ve said it doesn’t make it true.

As I’ve already mentioned, no one is saying straight white men have an easy life, it’s just that all the evidence shows that the moment you change one of those words life gets even harder.

You might not like it but that’s what the evidence shows. I’m happy for you to prove me wrong.

Mr DD

You haven't provided any evidence?

This whole thread started numerous women claiming straight white men are privileged, so the burden of proof for that is on you.

Google is full of evidence how homosexuals are discriminated against, how women are discriminated against, and how non white people are discriminated against.

I get that you want to believe that everything you have has come to you because of hard work and talent, but it didn’t, and it’s the same for me too. We both have an inbuilt advantage over those who aren’t straight (appearing) white men.

The difference is that I’m self aware enough to admit it.

Mr DD

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You haven't provided any evidence?

This whole thread started numerous women claiming straight white men are privileged, so the burden of proof for that is on you.

Kendal et al, 2002, ‘Understanding White Privilege’

Kwate, Goodman et al. , National Library of Medicine 2014, ‘ An empirical analysis of White privilege, social position and health’

Critical race theory has been equally criticized by a lot of academics

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You haven't provided any evidence?

This whole thread started numerous women claiming straight white men are privileged, so the burden of proof for that is on you.

Kendal et al, 2002, ‘Understanding White Privilege’

Kwate, Goodman et al. , National Library of Medicine 2014, ‘ An empirical analysis of White privilege, social position and health’

Critical race theory has been equally criticized by a lot of academics "

You asked for evidence. I’ve provided you with it.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What privilege, the general sentiment shows out of touch a lot of people are with the reality of being a young white male.

From a jobs perspective a young/ recently graduated, well educated women will have better opportunities in the work place than her male counterpart.

Sometimes I’m a bit old fashioned, so I’m going to have to ask if you have any evidence of this?

I'm what area of life do I have some great advantage ? Education ?(No, girls out perform boys easily),

You know that girls don’t outperform boys because education isn’t a balanced playing field, don’t you? It’s because they work harder. That’s not discrimination.

in the dating world? No

You’re telling on yourself with that one.

In the housing market? No

How do you ‘outperform’ someone in the housing market? Are houses somehow cheaper if you are a woman?

I'm not the one attacking a particular demographic for having an advantage. You're the ones who have consistently stated men are the privileged ones.

My question to you is how am I greatly privileged in everyday life as a young straight white male.

All I’ve done is ask you to provide evidence of what you’ve stated as fact, just because you’ve said it doesn’t make it true.

As I’ve already mentioned, no one is saying straight white men have an easy life, it’s just that all the evidence shows that the moment you change one of those words life gets even harder.

You might not like it but that’s what the evidence shows. I’m happy for you to prove me wrong.

Mr DD

You haven't provided any evidence?

This whole thread started numerous women claiming straight white men are privileged, so the burden of proof for that is on you.

Google is full of evidence how homosexuals are discriminated against, how women are discriminated against, and how non white people are discriminated against.

The difference is that I’m self aware enough to admit it.

Mr DD"

I know I'm talentless, stupid and and lazy. Anything I achieve in my life is completely down to my white privilege

(closed, thread got too big)

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