FabSwingers.com forum: How should I respond ...

By *each_Pitt OP Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

So it's probably been asked before but here goes

When someone messages and suggests meeting up (faf

) I generally politely decline saying "ty but no I cant"

Invariably I get a message back saying why?

How am I supposed to answer that? Sometimes I don't really have a reason I just don't want to. Sometimes I do have a reason and it might hurt their feelings which I wouldn't want to do.

Any suggestions would be appreciated ... yes I am an over thinker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use less words.

No.

That’s sufficient.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So it's probably been asked before but here goes

When someone messages and suggests meeting up (faf

) I generally politely decline saying "ty but no I cant"

Invariably I get a message back saying why?

How am I supposed to answer that? Sometimes I don't really have a reason I just don't want to. Sometimes I do have a reason and it might hurt their feelings which I wouldn't want to do.

Any suggestions would be appreciated ... yes I am an over thinker

As harsh as it sounds, ignore or block a pushy guy who can’t take no like a man. If pushy over messages and can’t appreciate boundaries, imagine them in a sexual situation. Avoid and move on, harsh but true

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By *nj6969Couple
over a year ago

Grimsby

We just say not for us if they are not or sorry can't busy.

You don't owe people am explaination we always answer and are polite but sometimes just not for you or us.

If they ask why we answer reason honestly, end of the day they asked!!.

Mnj xxx

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By *each_Pitt OP Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

Ty all

It's not easy being a tart with a heart

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

"So it's probably been asked before but here goes

When someone messages and suggests meeting up (faf

) I generally politely decline saying "ty but no I cant"

Invariably I get a message back saying why?

How am I supposed to answer that? Sometimes I don't really have a reason I just don't want to. Sometimes I do have a reason and it might hurt their feelings which I wouldn't want to do.

Any suggestions would be appreciated ... yes I am an over thinker

Replying to everyone with no, or deleting their first message and seeing how they behave can be an amazing filter.

Obviously some guys will rightly take offence thinking you're playing hard to get but generally the good ones will not message again and you can just say oh I deleted it by mistake

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If anyone asks why we just don't respond.

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By *heSchwingersCouple
over a year ago

Essex

Like d’is ‘Did you just ‘why’ me motherfucker!’

Seems to work for me

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By *usbandandktCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Try “I’m still trying to dispose of my last victim, I’ve not got the room in the freezer for you too”

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We just say you aren’t for us.

We don’t reply back if they reply again - they’ve already got our answer so it makes no difference.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

By repyling with "ty but no I cant"

You're leaving it open from a follow up message, A simple no thanks should work or No thanks I do my own searching,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So it's probably been asked before but here goes

When someone messages and suggests meeting up (faf

) I generally politely decline saying "ty but no I cant"

Invariably I get a message back saying why?

How am I supposed to answer that? Sometimes I don't really have a reason I just don't want to. Sometimes I do have a reason and it might hurt their feelings which I wouldn't want to do.

Any suggestions would be appreciated ... yes I am an over thinker

Why do you say you can't? Sounds like you can't right now but would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try “I’m still trying to dispose of my last victim, I’ve not got the room in the freezer for you too” "

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

"So it's probably been asked before but here goes

When someone messages and suggests meeting up (faf

) I generally politely decline saying "ty but no I cant"

Invariably I get a message back saying why?

How am I supposed to answer that? Sometimes I don't really have a reason I just don't want to. Sometimes I do have a reason and it might hurt their feelings which I wouldn't want to do.

Any suggestions would be appreciated ... yes I am an over thinker

Overthinking, say no thanks and block or tell them the truth if they persist but that will probably result in a barrage of grief..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So it's probably been asked before but here goes

When someone messages and suggests meeting up (faf

) I generally politely decline saying "ty but no I cant"

Invariably I get a message back saying why?

How am I supposed to answer that? Sometimes I don't really have a reason I just don't want to. Sometimes I do have a reason and it might hurt their feelings which I wouldn't want to do.

Any suggestions would be appreciated ... yes I am an over thinker

You don’t need a reason other than no

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By *each_Pitt OP Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

"Try “I’m still trying to dispose of my last victim, I’ve not got the room in the freezer for you too” "

I will definitely be using this!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"So it's probably been asked before but here goes

When someone messages and suggests meeting up (faf

) I generally politely decline saying "ty but no I cant"

Invariably I get a message back saying why?

How am I supposed to answer that? Sometimes I don't really have a reason I just don't want to. Sometimes I do have a reason and it might hurt their feelings which I wouldn't want to do.

Any suggestions would be appreciated ... yes I am an over thinker

That’s you’re answer then “I don’t want to” honesty is the best policy.

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By *aria_dreamgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

stockport

Just a simple no thanks is best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't need to give a reason. Just say no thank you.

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By *ankman69Man
over a year ago

WILLENHALL

Had a few no,s in my time on here, and not questioned it, no memes no.

People have there reasons in my case age plays a big factor or they might not like the look, it does not matter as no is no.

The ones that are annoying are people that contact you, then ignore you or block you for no reason, to me its just strange or rude, but i never get annoyed as life is to short.

What you never do is be rude or offensive if you get a no just take it as no spark and move on

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Ask them to do something really random you know they'll say no to, then say sorry no can do.

Only one bloke wanted to be locked in my loft with the others.

Mrs

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

"You don't need to give a reason. Just say no thank you."
,, no more to be said,,,this,,,

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By *each_Pitt OP Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

"Ask them to do something really random you know they'll say no to, then say sorry no can do.

Only one bloke wanted to be locked in my loft with the others.

Mrs "

Brilliant! Knowing my luck they'd be right up for what I said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it depends on the message.

If it’s from a no pic profile or just a rude / generic opening message I just delete and ignore. You don’t owe anyone an explanation!

If it’s a nice polite message I sometimes say ‘thanks for the offer but not interested’ or ‘not for me but happy fabbing’

If they come back and query me I ignore. If continue that’s a block.

If someone can’t respect you and your boundaries. in a message how can you trust them to do that in the bedroom.

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"We just say not for us if they are not or sorry can't busy.

Mnj xxx"

We go for “you are not for us”.

One couple did reply with “why”

We were brutally honest

They blocked us !

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
over a year ago

Stoke

You don't owe anyone a reply, we only reply when interested.

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By *erriman69Couple
over a year ago

highworth

We often say "you're not for us but good luck finding what you're looking for."

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

'I wish I could but I don't want to'

The comment about using a 'no' response as a filter is spot on. We've turned down men, women and couples and how they react had been an eye opener. Some we've gone on to be good Fab mates with. Others are living in blocksville. Interestingly, it's couples who take it the worst, in our experience.

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By *each_Pitt OP Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

I'll stop saying I can't. I think that should take out any ambiguity to begin with

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By *iberatedduoCouple
over a year ago

Ashbourne

We can tell you how to respond! You don’t not a message like that. Our most commonly used button is delete on here.

We always respond when the message warrants it.

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Your profile says ‘I’m brutally honest so if that offends you please don’t apply’ but you’ve started a thread asking for advice on what to say to someone rather than telling them the truth if telling them the truth will hurt their feelings….you can’t be brutally honest and be worried about hurting someone’s feelings if you tell them the truth, so which is true?

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I don’t reply if I’m not interested (usually my profile will explain what I’ll do, so no one should be surprised)

If they then repeat message I block them.

I started off like you but wasted so much time explaining myself to people I wasn’t interested in it got old very quickly

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