FabSwingers.com forum: Time wasters - What and Why do you do it?

By *WINGStars23 OP Couple
over a year ago

Northwest UK

So we have been chatting to a girl who isnt on this site, and whene we try to arrange anything with her it ends up not happening.

So, TIME WASTERS!

This is more of a subject for the do'ers of all sexes, rather than the people it affects.

It would be interesting to see if any habitual time wasters actually answer this thread.

Here's several questions that may not actually have been asked or answered before.

1, Are you a time waster?

2, What goes through you mind when you chat to people and arrange things, but knowing you arent going to go through with it?

3, Why do you waste other peoples time online and also not attend a planned meetings and what do you get out of it?

4,Though you nerves may get the better of you... Would meeting and actually getting naked and sexually physical with others be more of a turnon and beneficial for everyone involved?

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By *amnaughtybutniceWoman
over a year ago

tf1

Am I a time waster if I chat to someone and then they say something that puts me off.

I’m entitled to change my mind at any point. I don’t owe you anything

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By *WINGStars23 OP Couple
over a year ago

Northwest UK

Everyone's entitled to change there mind if something puts them off. When you have someone who's full on though, but won't commit to meeting that's a different story.

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By *amnaughtybutniceWoman
over a year ago

tf1

"Everyone's entitled to change there mind if something puts them off. When you have someone who's full on though, but won't commit to meeting that's a different story."

Well that’s kind of on you. If they don’t commit fairly early on stop bothering to chat to them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP are you talking about people that never have any intention of ever meeting anyone but string people along. Those that are just living out an on line fantasy life and arrange to meet then ghost or vanish. Nothing to do with a change of mind, just being an arse in a armchair.

Those are the ones that do my head in. Go play your games elsewhere.

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

People change their minds.

Some will tell you that but most won't and will ghost or block.

It happens to everyone at some point. Human beings get nervous

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

"So we have been chatting to a girl who isnt on this site, and whene we try to arrange anything with her it ends up not happening.

So, TIME WASTERS!

This is more of a subject for the do'ers of all sexes, rather than the people it affects.

It would be interesting to see if any habitual time wasters actually answer this thread.

Here's several questions that may not actually have been asked or answered before.

1, Are you a time waster?

2, What goes through you mind when you chat to people and arrange things, but knowing you arent going to go through with it?

3, Why do you waste other peoples time online and also not attend a planned meetings and what do you get out of it?

4,Though you nerves may get the better of you... Would meeting and actually getting naked and sexually physical with others be more of a turnon and beneficial for everyone involved?"

Are you really expecting someone to answer this and explain why they are complete twats

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"So we have been chatting to a girl who isnt on this site, and whene we try to arrange anything with her it ends up not happening.

So, TIME WASTERS!

This is more of a subject for the do'ers of all sexes, rather than the people it affects.

It would be interesting to see if any habitual time wasters actually answer this thread.

Here's several questions that may not actually have been asked or answered before.

1, Are you a time waster?

2, What goes through you mind when you chat to people and arrange things, but knowing you arent going to go through with it?

3, Why do you waste other peoples time online and also not attend a planned meetings and what do you get out of it?

4,Though you nerves may get the better of you... Would meeting and actually getting naked and sexually physical with others be more of a turnon and beneficial for everyone involved?"

If it's couples you're referring too, you'll find most profiles are very Male driven. The Men send loads of winks and messages, send photo's, arrange to meet, yet the Wife may know nothing. So when it comes to it the Wife may not even be in the mood. We've bumped into couples in club's who have messaged us and the Wife had no idea.

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By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

Ive changed My mind when the true colours come out from the other party..Bad intentions, ulterior motives and malicious conduct

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
over a year ago

Stoke

We will only meet at swinging clubs now due to all the time wasters we've encountered on here, mainly use this site to see what's happening at clubs around the country.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/10/23 14:47:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So we have been chatting to a girl who isnt on this site, and whene we try to arrange anything with her it ends up not happening.

So, TIME WASTERS!

This is more of a subject for the do'ers of all sexes, rather than the people it affects.

It would be interesting to see if any habitual time wasters actually answer this thread.

Here's several questions that may not actually have been asked or answered before.

1, Are you a time waster?

2, What goes through you mind when you chat to people and arrange things, but knowing you arent going to go through with it?

3, Why do you waste other peoples time online and also not attend a planned meetings and what do you get out of it?

4,Though you nerves may get the better of you... Would meeting and actually getting naked and sexually physical with others be more of a turnon and beneficial for everyone involved?

I would be gutted if my hubby done that behind my back or vice versa

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By *ragon007Man
over a year ago

london

Impossible to police people’s minds it is what it is and move on

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By *WINGStars23 OP Couple
over a year ago

Northwest UK

They are ghe ones I mean, Dirty.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

"Ive changed My mind when the true colours come out from the other party..Bad intentions, ulterior motives and malicious conduct "

I find that your public video that DOES NOT pan back to reveal a late 80’s MOOG keyboard which you then play with the glittery nails very malicious. Suckered in, kept in suspense, high expectations and then ultimately let down.. I feel violated. I might block you. I

dunno. I’ll see how I feel after a brew.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So we have been chatting to a girl who isnt on this site, and whene we try to arrange anything with her it ends up not happening.

So, TIME WASTERS!

This is more of a subject for the do'ers of all sexes, rather than the people it affects.

It would be interesting to see if any habitual time wasters actually answer this thread.

Here's several questions that may not actually have been asked or answered before.

1, Are you a time waster?

2, What goes through you mind when you chat to people and arrange things, but knowing you arent going to go through with it?

3, Why do you waste other peoples time online and also not attend a planned meetings and what do you get out of it?

4,Though you nerves may get the better of you... Would meeting and actually getting naked and sexually physical with others be more of a turnon and beneficial for everyone involved?"

Yep I'm definitely a time waster.

I say I'm going to meet and rarely go. Oh my soon wrong.

Nope usually I have every intention I can be chatting to a guy for weeks but then suddenly he becomes a dick not the one below just a stupid dick. I travel to anyone if they are worth it and appreciate the isle of wight is difficult so I will come across but its usually on their terms. Or it turns out the forgot to mention the other half. So I cancel. Is that a time waster?

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Such a broad topic as I have been called a time waster multiple times just for politely responding to their initial message that I wouldn’t be interested.

Go figure.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I'm not a time waster, quite upfront on my profile that it's rare I'd meet nowadays.

I think people define time wasters in different ways, I've been called one for saying no to a same day meet before!

I think some time wasters do it for the attention ,some are just idiots who get off on stringing others along.

Others won't be who they claim to be on here, so can't meet up.

All sorts of reasons, as we say here people are funny onions.

If I get the impression someone is flaky, I just stop engaging though.

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By *hris_LynnCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

We've been a magnet for time wasters this year !!! Lynn has been so pissed off to the point that she refuses to meet guys off Fab at the moment due to the 6 arranged meets that get cancelled at the last minute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a time waster, quite upfront on my profile that it's rare I'd meet nowadays.

I think people define time wasters in different ways, I've been called one for saying no to a same day meet before!

I think some time wasters do it for the attention ,some are just idiots who get off on stringing others along.

Others won't be who they claim to be on here, so can't meet up.

All sorts of reasons, as we say here people are funny onions.

If I get the impression someone is flaky, I just stop engaging though. "

This 100%.

I myself have never wasted in someones time as in we have planned a meet and I haven't shown up.

I have however planned something then they have seriously turned me off with something they have said or I just got a bad vibe. I always go with my gut, so I have said no thanks before the day has arrived but I wouldn't willingly waste sometimes time.

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"We've been a magnet for time wasters this year !!! Lynn has been so pissed off to the point that she refuses to meet guys off Fab at the moment due to the 6 arranged meets that get cancelled at the last minute. "

Why the hell would blokes cancel at the last minute when they have been lucky enough to have been invited to meet you both.? Bizarre.

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Its a shame you are not interested in meeting single blokes in our home city of Sheffield .

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By *hris_LynnCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Sheffield is a small village and we have had some bad experiences in the past of being harassed by guys we have met.

We stopped inviting guys back to our house after one nutter kept turning up at random times uninvited during the day !!!

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By *uthLessKnickersCouple
over a year ago

Cornwall/Devon

In the last four days we have had our time wasted by three different guys. Each have said they were available and would definitely turn up for the meet. Two ghosted us completely in the hours leading up to the meet and one despite saying he was on his way suddenly had to travel long distance for work (maybe true, maybe untrue) but suspicious.

It is a plague on this site and we wish it could be eradicated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've changed my mind based on something someone said.

It's normal and no one owes anyone a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People have different definitions of time wasting. I've cancelled plans with people, invested in things before I've realised it's not right and conversations have fizzled out naturally.. all of that some people would call time wasting, I say its a natural side of the swinging world.

To me time wasting is ghosting/cancelling last minute with no valid reason after investing in someone for a long period of time. Deliberately having intention to mess people around is time wasting but it's also our responsibility to not let history repeat itself by giving people unnecessary second chances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So we have been chatting to a girl who isnt on this site, and whene we try to arrange anything with her it ends up not happening.

..."

You are the time waster. Wasting your own time on something that will never happen.

Probably a man happily wanking about the thought of you meeting "her".

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By *onnie 90Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Such a broad topic as I have been called a time waster multiple times just for politely responding to their initial message that I wouldn’t be interested.

Go figure.

That's just the dented male ego. Negative/abusive replies to rejection are commonplace on FAB.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"Such a broad topic as I have been called a time waster multiple times just for politely responding to their initial message that I wouldn’t be interested.

Go figure.

That's just the dented male ego. Negative/abusive replies to rejection are commonplace on FAB.

I agree. I think it’s important to mention it often comes from well verified, should I say “alpha” profiles, as they could not understand how someone dared to reject them.

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By *onnie 90Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Why the hell would blokes cancel at the last minute when they have been lucky enough to have been invited to meet you both.? Bizarre.

Then complain on their profile that they don't get any meets!

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By *ames_HertsMan
over a year ago

North Hertfordshire

Some people enjoy the chat, the compliments and the thrill of the chase

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By *onnie 90Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Such a broad topic as I have been called a time waster multiple times just for politely responding to their initial message that I wouldn’t be interested.

Go figure.

That's just the dented male ego. Negative/abusive replies to rejection are commonplace on FAB.

I agree. I think it’s important to mention it often comes from well verified, should I say “alpha” profiles, as they could not understand how someone dared to reject them. "

The unrejectables lol.

Funnily enough I now instantly block any alpha profiles instantly. Their ego's are generally immense and I'm not here to meet an ego.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completely get this. Had it happen so often when was here as part of a couple that we ended up coming off for a while.

I have never ghosted or not shown up and I know that there are good guys out there...bit there are some that spoil it and give the rest of us a bad reputation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel there's a clear difference between someone who is genuine and looses interest, changes their mind or decides they don't want to meet

A timewaster who has no real interest in meeting.

The latter imo gets a kick from arranging a meet. The excitement of planning, all the way upto the 'ghosting'

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By *ecky124TV/TS
over a year ago

Middlewich

[Removed by poster at 27/10/23 09:03:18]

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By *ecky124TV/TS
over a year ago

Middlewich

Lol just viewed their profile and was immediately blocked !

I think they just answered their own question

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

If you keep trying to arrange a meet and they keep putting it off they don't want to meet you, stop trying and take the hint.

Am I a time waster if I chat to someone then something puts me off and I change my mind?

Am I a time waster if I have a conversation and they want to meet but I'm not quite sure yet?

Am I a time waster if I can't arrange a meet due to childcare when they want to?

Am I a time waster because they expect I drop everything to meet them and I don't?

The answer to all the above is no!

I need a good connection with someone to invest my time and even consider sex, this can take a while, if people don't like it they ain't my people.

Fab & meeting is very low down my list of priorities people don't seem to realise we aren't sat here horny & desperate 24/7 or ever for that matter.

Mrs

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By *onnie 90Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Lol just viewed their profile and was immediately blocked !

I think they just answered their own question

Whose profile? The OP?

That's not very polite.

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By *onnie 90Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Lol just viewed their profile and was immediately blocked !

I think they just answered their own question

Just checked the OP's profile myself. I certainly wouldn't say no to them or let them down. Those boobs

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

No-one is going to admit they are a time waster!!

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By *neforutoMan
over a year ago

Fantasy land in the SW

When I started this lifestyle 30yrs ago it was much much simpler. Meet other couples/singles in the pub a few times, get comfertable and flirty and once all were settled then back to someones house for a fun night. Now im back here looking to play after a long time away and it seems that the world is full of dreamers making it really difficut to meet others.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"If you keep trying to arrange a meet and they keep putting it off they don't want to meet you, stop trying and take the hint.

Am I a time waster if I chat to someone then something puts me off and I change my mind?

Am I a time waster if I have a conversation and they want to meet but I'm not quite sure yet?

Am I a time waster if I can't arrange a meet due to childcare when they want to?

Am I a time waster because they expect I drop everything to meet them and I don't?

The answer to all the above is no!

I need a good connection with someone to invest my time and even consider sex, this can take a while, if people don't like it they ain't my people.

Fab & meeting is very low down my list of priorities people don't seem to realise we aren't sat here horny & desperate 24/7 or ever for that matter.

Mrs "

Perfectly put Mrs.

Have been also very recently called a time waster for being online.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if people arrange to meet though and just dont turn up its just rude and shitty. if you arrange to meet and you change your mind is a simple "no thanks" so difficult? were all meant to be grown ups on here.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

They've got nothing better to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me time wasting is ghosting/cancelling last minute with no valid reason after investing in someone for a long period of time. "

I think this is what I prescribe to be time wasting.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

its funny that those who always moan about timewasters alway blame everybody bar themselves

if your getting timewasters its because of your selection process... timewasters only pray on those who cant see it .. select your meets more wisely and you'll find the timewasters no longer bother you be more selective more picky be blunt and to the point no meet should be easy no matter who you are get this bit right and stop blaming others for your own selection let downs...

not met a timewaster for years now just cant remember the last let down and thats down to how i/we pick our meets if its too easy or to good to be true then it normally is there are big tell tell signs plus your gut feelings..

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By *ubcdverykinkyMan
over a year ago

Bourne lincs

There's a lot of pics hunters or guys that like to talk about it on here and a lot of cpls not even looking for single guys. But still looking at pics.?

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By *arren and AliciaCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

We have had a couple of meets arranged with other couples then on day of the meet conveniently the female can't make it after weeks of chatting and on cam sane when chatting it always just seems to be the male present we always and only come on here together x

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

oh and think about this too everybody has the rights to cancel or say no thanks or stop talking .. just like withdrawing consent

its the same with all this talk of ghosting a word used often but its the wrong word nobody is ghosting on a swingers site ....ghosting means someone whos a best friend or boyfriend relationship disappearing some one you know very very well and having contacts stopped thats ghosting not people who stop talking on a swingers site... i can only guess if someone on here stops talking its because youve said something wrong or theyve changed thier mind or they got bored

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

There's a hell of a lot of people on here that are all about just messages is what it is

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Why the hell would blokes cancel at the last minute when they have been lucky enough to have been invited to meet you both.? Bizarre.

Then complain on their profile that they don't get any meets!

I have never been offered a meet in my year and half on here .

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"No-one is going to admit they are a time waster!!

This is true! We put it in private notes for possible future reference.

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By *ecky124TV/TS
over a year ago

Middlewich

"Lol just viewed their profile and was immediately blocked !

I think they just answered their own question

Whose profile? The OP?

That's not very polite."

Yes the OP

Not very polite but hay ho

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By *imisugarWoman
over a year ago

Rugby

"Lol just viewed their profile and was immediately blocked !

I think they just answered their own question

Whose profile? The OP?

That's not very polite.

Yes the OP

Not very polite but hay ho "

Their profile makes it clear who they are seeking it interact with. The blocking is likely a filter and nothing personal.

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By *quirtyfun69Couple
over a year ago

Burnley

We have found quite a few timewasters who don't turn up, or just go missing off the face of the earth, we know that people have a choice of not turning up even at last minute but a message would be polite.

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By *wguy100Man
over a year ago

Exeter

"We have found quite a few timewasters who don't turn up, or just go missing off the face of the earth, we know that people have a choice of not turning up even at last minute but a message would be polite."

Fully agree anyone change change their mind or have life crop up that impacts but having said that it’s polite and manners cost nothing just to be honest and say!

Just my opinion of course

Have a great day

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By *heelz69Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Bloody hell I've not even had chance to be a time waster!

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By *asons_CarounnCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"We will only meet at swinging clubs now due to all the time wasters we've encountered on here, mainly use this site to see what's happening at clubs around the country. "

This!

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By *oupleJCCouple
over a year ago

The Big Smoke, London.

"We will only meet at swinging clubs now due to all the time wasters we've encountered on here, mainly use this site to see what's happening at clubs around the country. "

Exactly this

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"We will only meet at swinging clubs now due to all the time wasters we've encountered on here, mainly use this site to see what's happening at clubs around the country.

Exactly this

Seconded, Thirded and Fourthed

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By *ecky124TV/TS
over a year ago

Middlewich

"Lol just viewed their profile and was immediately blocked !

I think they just answered their own question

Whose profile? The OP?

That's not very polite.

Yes the OP

Not very polite but hay ho

Their profile makes it clear who they are seeking it interact with. The blocking is likely a filter and nothing personal. "

I looked at there profile just to see what they where like and they immediately blocked me I did not message them just had a look

But if that’s the way they treat people no wonder people change there mind about meeting them

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By *ink vixenCouple
over a year ago

Medway

Don’t fuck about with people.

Have a short chat, arrange a social and if they dissemble and hesitate then move on.

The more time you invest the more od it will then be “wasted”.

It’s on you really but yeah as pe usual, its someone else’s fault.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"Such a broad topic as I have been called a time waster multiple times just for politely responding to their initial message that I wouldn’t be interested.

Go figure.

"
. I don’t consider anyone a time waster who doesn’t respond to a message let alone someone who responds and says no thanks

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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst

"its funny that those who always moan about timewasters alway blame everybody bar themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt dream of wasting anyones time. If you have no intention of showing why make plans??

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By *imisugarWoman
over a year ago

Rugby

"Lol just viewed their profile and was immediately blocked !

I think they just answered their own question

Whose profile? The OP?

That's not very polite.

Yes the OP

Not very polite but hay ho

Their profile makes it clear who they are seeking it interact with. The blocking is likely a filter and nothing personal.

I looked at there profile just to see what they where like and they immediately blocked me I did not message them just had a look

But if that’s the way they treat people no wonder people change there mind about meeting them "

They are entitled to block who they want. I provided my viewpoint they may have had other reasons.

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