FabSwingers.com forum: Help

By *ddie04 OP Man
over a year ago

I’ve quietly hooked up with a local lady. Who has informed me that she is a sub in the bedroom. She has a great collection of toys, and has under bed restraints that I helped her install and try out. It’s early days for me being a dom to her. Without being too extreme, what should I be doing to keep her happy and entertained.

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

Communicate with her. Discuss what she likes, what you think you would like. Be honest about limits.

Set up safe word that you can both use.

Start slowly and keep communication going.

Maybe start by asking her to tell you about a favourite fantasy.

Ask her to list 5 things she loves about being a sub and why.

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By *ddie04 OP Man
over a year ago

We have chatted about limits and what she likes. I was wondering what other people do

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

"Communicate with her. Discuss what she likes, what you think you would like. Be honest about limits.

Set up safe word that you can both use.

Start slowly and keep communication going.

Maybe start by asking her to tell you about a favourite fantasy.

Ask her to list 5 things she loves about being a sub and why.

This. ^

Plus, watch and listen to her when in the moment. The voice and body language will tell you a lot.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"We have chatted about limits and what she likes. I was wondering what other people do "

Your initial question was 'what should I be doing to keep her happy and entertained.' She is the best one to answer that question for you.

In terms of the kind of things other might do, that she might also like, there are online questionnaires for this sort of thing. There's a useful one where you both fill it in individually and it only informs you of the choices you agree on (thereby saving you from grossing each other out!

)

Alternatively, there is a social networking site dedicated to a fetish life style. You might get some good ideas there. For some ill-conceived reason, it is against forum rules to even mention the name of the site.

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

Constantly watch for body language and be guided by it .There can be subtle messages being sent. Try to make sessions different from previous sessions

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By *ddie04 OP Man
over a year ago

Thanks for the advice, she is very orgasmic I’ve never known someone who comes so easily.

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

Might be slightly different for me, as I've been Dom for many years, and OP sounds like he is new to it.

But when I'm playing with new sub, things I like to start with are various restraints. Holding them down, tied to bed, hogtied etc.

Blindfolds and sensation play, using feathers, fur, knives, pin

wheels, ice, heat etc.

Spanking and impact play. Hand, paddle, whip, wooden spoon etc.

Role play if it interests you both.

My play tends to bea little more hardcore, so would probably involve some aspects of 'forced' play.

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By *ddie04 OP Man
over a year ago

Yes I am quite new to this. She has shown me her collection of toys paddles etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I am quite new to this. She has shown me her collection of toys paddles etc. "

Could you expand on what implementation she has in this regard?

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By *ddie04 OP Man
over a year ago

She has bed restraints that I helped her install. Clit stimulators, a couple of rabbits, paddle, buttplug.

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