FabSwingers.com forum: First time anal advice...

By *erfectly-Perverted OP Woman
over a year ago

Bramhall

I'm looking to try anal for the first time.

I have tried so many times before but every guy has just been like a bull at a gate, and literally not got past the gate because of the pain.

I've always been VERY relaxed and used LOTS of lube but guys still get their tip against my hole and try to start drilling.

I've played with toys on my own and I've loved it.

I just wondered if anyone can give me any advice further.

Thank you Miss P x

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By *nj6969Couple
over a year ago

Grimsby

Find a guy you know or have met and talk. Talk and talk explain how you want it to work. And work slow it's not a race, like you say relax and lube.

Conversation and trust the key xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Butt plug would work wonders get one and get use to it around the house and what not

Then about hafe a hour or so before the deeds slip away to the toilet or something and pop it in

It will loosen things up and preper you better so they can just pop it out and kind off go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be on top so you can control it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did anal the first time last week and it went good!! I was having sex and after a little I said “anal?” And she said hmm okay so I tried it but Ofcs didn’t want to fit. Lots of lube/spit and the tip went on after sone pushing but after that just slow strokes and build it up.

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By *inkedKuntsCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Make sure its a man who actually listens to you and what you want. If they know what they are doing they should be able to tell from your body when they can start to go a little harder and when they need to back off, but if not make sure you tell them, as with everything communication!

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

"Be on top so you can control it. "

Good advice for your first time.

Just make sure he’s hard and understands his job is to lie there until you’re happy.

Go at your pace.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said here OP slow and steady. Go at your pace, make sure the guy knows to take it easy, a plug can help beforehand and lube, lube & more lube!!

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By *oulivCouple
over a year ago

Newtown

Have complete control, back onto it in your time, he should just be patient and let you do it, once he’s in just take a moment to get used to it then move yourself on it how you want to. and as everyone has said lots of lube. If he can’t work with this find someone who can.

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By *azmar62Couple
over a year ago

Hinckley

When I met my wife, she’d only been with a couple of and when she was married before, sex was missionary of nothing. I introduced her to a new world of sex, not just fucking for the sake of it. I learned how to speak her body and over time gave her, her first mind blowing orgasm, she gushed and squirted all over the place, it was so intense she started crying. Needless to say, she’s absolutely awesome in bed. One day I mentioned anal sex and she was more happy to let me take the lead. I said that a spooning position would be the best position to try. It’s was so good. I was as gentle as I could be, letting her take control as she backed onto my cock? Yes there’s discomfort at first, but as she got used to it she started to moved and asked how much was in? When I told her I was balls deep, she was shocked and got incredibly turned on. At this time I pulled out as gently as I went in. Orgasmic anal is always had during our love making and our sex life is orbital. Now we’ve been swinging for over 10 years and other guys enjoy all hers holes and she loves it. X

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By *antricTrystCouple
over a year ago

Pershore

All good advice but the best is be in control sit on him and wait for your anal muscles to relax, if as you say you liked using a toy on yourself then tease him by making him watch you put it in you and then after a bit you can sit on him. Said it before and will again Kegal exercises will allow you to have better control of those muscles works with guys as well...

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By *ister_EMan
over a year ago

Hayling Island

Lube and patience are very Important, and yes you need to be relaxed.... but choosing the right partner is also paramount. Don't worry to much about cock size. Unless your bum is abnormly tight or you have medical issues, even an extra girthy cock should still ease in painlessly with good technique.

You need somone that you can trust completely, and who you can communicate openly and honestly with, and who is patient and will really listen to you!

You taking control will help. That doesn't necessarily mean you need to sit on top. But you can take command, from a passive position and tell him exactly what to do.... when to hold still, apply pressure or keep steady as you push yourself onto him.

Playing with toys will help too. Especially if he pulls it out and swaps it with his cock

Position makes a big difference too.

Doggy is the worst Position for a first timer as it increases resistance and tightens your sphinctes. On your back or on your side are great starter positions. Rimming and fingering are great too they loosen you up and make you horny and makes your hole crave to feel filled

Also dont let him cum or overestimulate his cock witb oral or vaginal sex before anal. You want him rock hard and throbbing. After the first orgasm, anal becomes increasingly difficult as his subsequenterections will be a bit spongey and lack the rigidity to push through the innitial resistance.

Same goes for you too. Vaginal orgasms tighten the sphincters and make anal penetration afterwards more difficult and even slightly painful!

Good luck and have fun

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

A few tips from me (most actually already have been mentioned)

1) don't force it, go at your pace

2) be really turned on

3) do not, under any circumstances, let anyone try to go in dry!

4) communicate with your partner

5) use good anal lube

6) do try a plug before- put it in about 30min before sex. It does help your anus relax

7) under no circumstances use any numbing gel or liquids there - yes, they would probably take away the pain, but the pain is there on purpose. It would mask any issues you may have there

8) get your partner to go slow. If you can tolerate it, start with just a finger gently teasing the hole and trying to relax you

9) breathe!

10) take it at your pace - spoons is the position I like to start with, as then I feel in control of the penetration (I can't go on top)

11) if it hurts, pause, take some deep breaths, and decide whether you want to continue or not

12) do choose a guy who you can trust, but who also is not VWE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t get too hung up on size. Your ass will take whatever size you present to it, but don’t rush it.

Speaking from experience, angles are the most important thing. Your ass will adapt, so start slowly, try to relax, plenty of lube and make sure you take control of the situation. Do NOT allow him to go off-script until you’re comfortable and your ass has adjusted to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a big fan of anal because of the pain, but when I have had (and enjoyed it) it's been with a VERY trusted partner, I've always taken the lead, and it has been with lots of rimming, gentle pushing of the thumb against the hole to loosen (not force it open- it'll open on its own), plenty of spit (I personally don't like cold, sticky lube), and when I'm SUPER aroused (like, thinking about it all day aroused). People say "be relaxed", but that doesn't help- relax your butt muscles as you normally would push out.

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By *heif6999Man
over a year ago

malton

"Butt plug would work wonders get one and get use to it around the house and what not

Then about hafe a hour or so before the deeds slip away to the toilet or something and pop it in

It will loosen things up and preper you better so they can just pop it out and kind off go

Either that or surprise him and leave it in…. Massive turn on!

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By *ad boy maverickMan
over a year ago

basildon

If its difficult the boys are'nt doing it right. They should be preparing you with oil and finger first to loosen you up. I've never had issues. Women love it if done right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Same goes for you too. Vaginal orgasms tighten the sphincters and make anal penetration afterwards more difficult and even slightly painful!

Good luck and have fun

This is actually not true for most. Orgasms relax the whole body and make anal penetration easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try playing in the bath/ shower ease yourself into it. It can be incredibly pleasurable if done right if done wrong it's horrendou s. Try and be relaxed, use a fair amount of lube and breath!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't believe no one has mentioned Rimming and positioning. By far the 2 most important things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So true! That really helps

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By *erfectly-Perverted OP Woman
over a year ago

Bramhall

Thank you so much for all your advice guys and gals - Noted x

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By *ister_EMan
over a year ago

Hayling Island

That's genuinely very interesting, I've found the opposite with most men and women I've had anal with. With a couple of notable exceptions. I've always found anal penetration to be more difficult post orgasm. More so after particularly intense orgasms.

It is something I really only noticed at first when attempting dp with a couple. I'd been fucking her arse earlier and then after a fucklicking orgasm we tried dp and it was very difficult for either of us to penetrate her anally and became a bit of a joke.

Subsequently found the same to be true with multiple other partners, (male and female), and stupidly assumed it to be universal....

I'm very interested to know what other people's experiences are of post orgasm anal? Is it easier for you or tighter? Let's get to the bottom of this mystery....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's genuinely very interesting, I've found the opposite with most men and women I've had anal with. With a couple of notable exceptions. I've always found anal penetration to be more difficult post orgasm. More so after particularly intense orgasms.

Subsequently found the same to be true with multiple other partners, (male and female), and stupidly assumed it to be universal....

I'm very interested to know what other people's experiences are of post orgasm anal? Is it easier for you or tighter? Let's get to the bottom of this mystery....

Like anything, it's going to depend on the individual. Most people we've been with experience less difficultly post-orgasm and a lot of advice articles on anal will say that it's easier (particularly for women) after you've cum, but that doesn't mean everyone has that experience. For one of us the opposite is true and it's much much easier pre-orgasm...unless anal penetration was involved in the earlier orgasm and there is a rest period in-between!

Different strokes for different folks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to have an orgasm or two first ha I find it helps massively for me.

The key is the gentleman in question needs to be patient. I cannot and do not like someone just banging away immediately. It needs consideration and patience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve waited 29 years to do it… is that patient enough?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do have a question tho because women say the orgasm is more intense and different during anal is it the same for a guy.. Is the orgasm different or does it feel like cumming in a pussy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve waited 29 years to do it… is that patient enough?

You profile says your VWE that may be why haha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately it’s a gift and a curse twisted lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/10/23 06:01:51]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately it’s a gift and a curse twisted lol "

I am sure it is haha.

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By *ond Jimmy BondMan
over a year ago

London

It should be a slow process, not to be rushed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately it’s a gift and a curse twisted lol

I am sure it is haha."

I know poor me right

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By *ebaucherous_duoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol/ Daventry

"Don’t get too hung up on size. Your ass will take whatever size you present to it, but don’t rush it.

The first half of this is misleading, the second half is excellent advice. Please, only present items the size of your largest poo if you are an absolute beginner. It takes time, care and training to get up to a large size. If you do wish to go size playing , warm up first with toys and fingers, before presenting monster cocks. Anal tears are not fun and take ages to heal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately it’s a gift and a curse twisted lol

I am sure it is haha.

I know poor me right

Lmao I do not feel sorry for you, I am sure you and your penis are very attached haha. You have what you havez maybe one day you will be lucky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good I didn’t want your pity anyway! hopefully someone will be stupid enough to go “ahh fuck it” and let me do it haha

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By *olbornsubguyMan
over a year ago

london

Gay sub here should takes multiple anal a day. Take entry slow the first time, with lots of fingering first. Let your ass relax round what’d er penetration has been achieved before going further. Lots of decent lube - If you’re on prep so not using condoms, I find Vaseline gives a much smoother experience than water based lube. If you do need condom friendly lube, silicon based tends to be better than eg KY. Finally, amyl nitrate helps massively to relax the smooth muscle in the anus. Good luck!

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"A few tips from me (most actually already have been mentioned)

1) don't force it, go at your pace

2) be really turned on

3) do not, under any circumstances, let anyone try to go in dry!

4) communicate with your partner

5) use good anal lube

6) do try a plug before- put it in about 30min before sex. It does help your anus relax

7) under no circumstances use any numbing gel or liquids there - yes, they would probably take away the pain, but the pain is there on purpose. It would mask any issues you may have there

8) get your partner to go slow. If you can tolerate it, start with just a finger gently teasing the hole and trying to relax you

9) breathe!

10) take it at your pace - spoons is the position I like to start with, as then I feel in control of the penetration (I can't go on top)

11) if it hurts, pause, take some deep breaths, and decide whether you want to continue or not

12) do choose a guy who you can trust, but who also is not VWE

All of this.

Personally for me, I prefer doggy for the angle, with a partner who is very hard and will stay perfectly still letting me back onto him.

As for lube... Silicone lube is just the best for anal... It doesn't go sticky and you don't need loads.

(And a radiator to get lube to body temperature is always good)

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