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"a cynical person might assume they actually are not single at all...." Tut Tut my good man, what ever would make you think such a thing ... ? | |||
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"And as a point OP - why can't *you* accommodate? Is there something suspicious to read into that?" As Willo said, I think you have misunderstood the OP, they are referring to those that claim they CAN accommodate but in actual fact it would seem they Can't. ............... I would guess these guys realise if they claim they can accommodate then they will appear to have no commitments as in serious relationship and figure they will cross that bridge when faced with it. Of course there may be many reasons, but this is how I would view it. W | |||
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"That will teach me not to post on the forums at 2.45am and more than several sheets to the wind lol" lol rule 1 - Don't post pissed. pmsl. W | |||
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"I actually live with my disabled Mother but she has agreed that if I ever have a meet at out house, I can push her wheelchair into the shed in the Garden until I have finished. My Mam knows that because of my age and premature ejactualtion problem, she will never be there long!" Nutter!!!!!!!!!!! | |||
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"there can be lots of reasons ...for example you need to cool it a while to give the neighbours downstairs a break from late nites .... i dont think its any problem is it ...if you cant accomodate and they cant ...it doesnt happen does it ... mr x" Why don't it happen?? Theres always clubs. and in answer the the OP question, they are living in LaLa land, just here for the chat and the fantasy and they have no bolloxs to meet | |||
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"there can be lots of reasons ...for example you need to cool it a while to give the neighbours downstairs a break from late nites .... i dont think its any problem is it ...if you cant accomodate and they cant ...it doesnt happen does it ... mr x Why don't it happen?? Theres always clubs. and in answer the the OP question, they are living in LaLa land, just here for the chat and the fantasy and they have no bolloxs to meet" thats true but not everyone likes clubs or can afford them ...especially single guys who get charged extortionate rates. | |||
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"there can be lots of reasons ...for example you need to cool it a while to give the neighbours downstairs a break from late nites .... i dont think its any problem is it ...if you cant accomodate and they cant ...it doesnt happen does it ... mr x Why don't it happen?? Theres always clubs. and in answer the the OP question, they are living in LaLa land, just here for the chat and the fantasy and they have no bolloxs to meet thats true but not everyone likes clubs or can afford them ...especially single guys who get charged extortionate rates." Not sure how thats relevant to the OP's question of "what is it with guys who say they can accomodate.............and when u actually mail then there,s always an excuse" | |||
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"It is strange when guys say then can accomodate but always give excuses I play as a single male but am married and I can accomodate. Now I know a lot can't because of kids ect but it is strange if a guy has his own place and is single and cant accomodate. It gets my wife suspicious when males contact her on here " If they're not married and playing away then they probably live in shitholes in which case your wife would'nt want to go near them anyway | |||
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"there can be lots of reasons ...for example you need to cool it a while to give the neighbours downstairs a break from late nites .... i dont think its any problem is it ...if you cant accomodate and they cant ...it doesnt happen does it ... mr x Why don't it happen?? Theres always clubs. and in answer the the OP question, they are living in LaLa land, just here for the chat and the fantasy and they have no bolloxs to meet thats true but not everyone likes clubs or can afford them ...especially single guys who get charged extortionate rates. Not sure how thats relevant to the OP's question of "what is it with guys who say they can accomodate.............and when u actually mail then there,s always an excuse" " its relevant because most of the replies are coming from couples or single women ,who do not qualify to answer the question just quess ..if the OP did not wanted responses from single guys ...they should of said ...i was giving just one from a many potential different reasons. | |||
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"there can be lots of reasons ...for example you need to cool it a while to give the neighbours downstairs a break from late nites .... i dont think its any problem is it ...if you cant accomodate and they cant ...it doesnt happen does it ... mr x Why don't it happen?? Theres always clubs. and in answer the the OP question, they are living in LaLa land, just here for the chat and the fantasy and they have no bolloxs to meet thats true but not everyone likes clubs or can afford them ...especially single guys who get charged extortionate rates. Not sure how thats relevant to the OP's question of "what is it with guys who say they can accomodate.............and when u actually mail then there,s always an excuse" its relevant because most of the replies are coming from couples or single women ,who do not qualify to answer the question just quess ..if the OP did not wanted responses from single guys ...they should of said ...i was giving just one from a many potential different reasons." The OP was asking why you fical single guys change their mind at the last min about their capacity to accomadate, | |||
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"Perhaps it's me and my simplistic approach again but the OP appears to be saying that they read profiles, guys say in their profiles they can accom, the Op contacts them and there is always an excuse as to why the guy cannot now accom. I am quite probably missing the point completely here but I think the OP is suggesting that if you cannot accom for any reason why have in your profile that you can? I fully accept that there are always going to be reasons why people cannot accom, we cant and we are totally upfront in our profile about that. Surely the more honest approach is to stick your accom limitations in your profile as by doing so you avoid the subsequent doubts with regards your credibility as per the general thrust of this thread " Nah, 2bonks, you will have to make a bit clearer for old droney, he is knocking on a bit now, he gets confused easy | |||
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"Perhaps it's me and my simplistic approach again but the OP appears to be saying that they read profiles, guys say in their profiles they can accom, the Op contacts them and there is always an excuse as to why the guy cannot now accom. I am quite probably missing the point completely here but I think the OP is suggesting that if you cannot accom for any reason why have in your profile that you can? I fully accept that there are always going to be reasons why people cannot accom, we cant and we are totally upfront in our profile about that. Surely the more honest approach is to stick your accom limitations in your profile as by doing so you avoid the subsequent doubts with regards your credibility as per the general thrust of this thread " but why is it a problem i can accomodate and most of the time i do ...but sometimes i cant .,...i contact couples who say they can then cant .... why single men ?? | |||
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"Perhaps it's me and my simplistic approach again but the OP appears to be saying that they read profiles, guys say in their profiles they can accom, the Op contacts them and there is always an excuse as to why the guy cannot now accom. I am quite probably missing the point completely here but I think the OP is suggesting that if you cannot accom for any reason why have in your profile that you can? I fully accept that there are always going to be reasons why people cannot accom, we cant and we are totally upfront in our profile about that. Surely the more honest approach is to stick your accom limitations in your profile as by doing so you avoid the subsequent doubts with regards your credibility as per the general thrust of this thread but why is it a problem i can accomodate and most of the time i do ...but sometimes i cant .,...i contact couples who say they can then cant .... why single men ??" OBSERVATION NOT CRITICISM!! Not sure about why the OP chooses single guys but you say "i can accomodate and most of the time i do ...but sometimes i cant" Now go re read your profile where you say you can accom but have no mention of "but sometimes i cant" which is exactly what the OP is alluding to. In the eyes of most a single guy with his own property and no complications in his life will be able to accom pretty much at the drop of a hat. If said single guy has complications in his life, whether they be work, family, lodger etc etc and does not declare that in his profile is it any wonder some folk make the seemingly obvious leap with regard to credibility? I know this is not restricted to single guys but that was the question the OP asked. | |||
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"Perhaps it's me and my simplistic approach again but the OP appears to be saying that they read profiles, guys say in their profiles they can accom, the Op contacts them and there is always an excuse as to why the guy cannot now accom. I am quite probably missing the point completely here but I think the OP is suggesting that if you cannot accom for any reason why have in your profile that you can? I fully accept that there are always going to be reasons why people cannot accom, we cant and we are totally upfront in our profile about that. Surely the more honest approach is to stick your accom limitations in your profile as by doing so you avoid the subsequent doubts with regards your credibility as per the general thrust of this thread but why is it a problem i can accomodate and most of the time i do ...but sometimes i cant .,...i contact couples who say they can then cant .... why single men ?? OBSERVATION NOT CRITICISM!! Not sure about why the OP chooses single guys but you say "i can accomodate and most of the time i do ...but sometimes i cant" Now go re read your profile where you say you can accom but have no mention of "but sometimes i cant" which is exactly what the OP is alluding to. In the eyes of most a single guy with his own property and no complications in his life will be able to accom pretty much at the drop of a hat. If said single guy has complications in his life, whether they be work, family, lodger etc etc and does not declare that in his profile is it any wonder some folk make the seemingly obvious leap with regard to credibility? I know this is not restricted to single guys but that was the question the OP asked. " i can see it being construed as something other than it is, but isnt that in the head of the viewer not the reality. Dont forget the people who are accused of being dishonest are not true single men or women ....they are married men or women part of a "Couple". i do not wish to polarise the issue but why should true single men or women have to explain themselves ......are you perhaps advocating i put something like ..." i can accomodate except when my daughter decides to visit me from university and stay for the night or when i am away on business.... lol." Why should we ....we have done nothing wrong..if we put something like that the wrong conclusion would be drawn anyway, surely ? | |||
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"That will teach me not to post on the forums at 2.45am and more than several sheets to the wind lol lol rule 1 - Don't post pissed. pmsl. W" Rule No.2 "Don't piss posted" | |||
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"PD, Surely the whole purpose of a well constructed, totally accurate profile which gives a full representation is to nullify the potential for "i can see it being construed as something other than it is, but isnt that in the head of the viewer not the reality." "i do not wish to polarise the issue but why should true single men or women have to explain themselves" can also be read directly across to true couples. If we all operate using the old adage of honesty being the best policy surely being open and truthful up front is the best way to treat our prospective playing partners. We are right on the cusp of trying to meet with a single guy outside of a club scenario, it's just the next nervous step for us, but for us single guy = can accom, as in has own home to play in. Not interested in any of the usual excuses, they may well be true but if you cannot accom then we would pass you by. If we did contact a guy and he his opening gambit was to introduce accom issues our first thought would be "why is that not reflected in his profile" our second thought would be "what other things has he neglected to tell us" which would have us simply passing him by. You may argue that for some total honesty in a profile may reduce their playing potential but the flip side to that is the devil is always in the detail and dishonesty is usually easily uncovered. " your absolutely right about honesty ...however once again the dishonest people are generally not single people they are couples cheating and masquerading as singles. To put the level of detail in a profile you suggest ..would make it long, boring and unattractive. I have found that many couples get stroppy when you can not fit in with there dates and schedules,where as but for a delay of a week or so you can .This then (as you have indicated) transfers into a irrational assumption that something is being hidden. For many its almost like an elitism ..that scenario being ...you want to join us then fit in with our plans or hit the road....to be honest anyone with a preoccupation with accomodation issues rings all sorts of warnning bells for me ...especially when diary and accomodation issues outweigh other more important factors. incidently that is not a knock at you personally or how you select your meets just an observation and my experiences. | |||
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"woaaaa ,,, my head hurts ,, i think if a guy says he can accom and then all of a sudden cant ,, then chances are he is a timewaster full stop ,,,, " why ? | |||
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"PD, Surely the whole purpose of a well constructed, totally accurate profile which gives a full representation is to nullify the potential for "i can see it being construed as something other than it is, but isnt that in the head of the viewer not the reality." "i do not wish to polarise the issue but why should true single men or women have to explain themselves" can also be read directly across to true couples. If we all operate using the old adage of honesty being the best policy surely being open and truthful up front is the best way to treat our prospective playing partners. We are right on the cusp of trying to meet with a single guy outside of a club scenario, it's just the next nervous step for us, but for us single guy = can accom, as in has own home to play in. Not interested in any of the usual excuses, they may well be true but if you cannot accom then we would pass you by. If we did contact a guy and he his opening gambit was to introduce accom issues our first thought would be "why is that not reflected in his profile" our second thought would be "what other things has he neglected to tell us" which would have us simply passing him by. You may argue that for some total honesty in a profile may reduce their playing potential but the flip side to that is the devil is always in the detail and dishonesty is usually easily uncovered. your absolutely right about honesty ...however once again the dishonest people are generally not single people they are couples cheating and masquerading as singles. To put the level of detail in a profile you suggest ..would make it long, boring and unattractive. I have found that many couples get stroppy when you can not fit in with there dates and schedules,where as but for a delay of a week or so you can .This then (as you have indicated) transfers into a irrational assumption that something is being hidden. For many its almost like an elitism ..that scenario being ...you want to join us then fit in with our plans or hit the road....to be honest anyone with a preoccupation with accomodation issues rings all sorts of warnning bells for me ...especially when diary and accomodation issues outweigh other more important factors. incidently that is not a knock at you personally or how you select your meets just an observation and my experiences. " I am still confused as to why qualifying accom conditions on a profile is a bad thing. I know it may affect the amount of hits a couple or an individual gets but a simple one liner is open, honest and, more importantly, relevant. Those who misinterpret the one liner, a possible indication of a closed mind, are quite possibly not the sort of folk you would choose to meet so no harm no foul....... surely? Spin it another way, you include on your profile you can accom but occasionally daughter is home from Uni, couple with kids at Uni see your profile, possibly empathise, possibly get in touch as you have something in common...........voila Lay it all out there I say and let folk judge you by your written word and not by your omission. | |||
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"PD, Surely the whole purpose of a well constructed, totally accurate profile which gives a full representation is to nullify the potential for "i can see it being construed as something other than it is, but isnt that in the head of the viewer not the reality." "i do not wish to polarise the issue but why should true single men or women have to explain themselves" can also be read directly across to true couples. If we all operate using the old adage of honesty being the best policy surely being open and truthful up front is the best way to treat our prospective playing partners. We are right on the cusp of trying to meet with a single guy outside of a club scenario, it's just the next nervous step for us, but for us single guy = can accom, as in has own home to play in. Not interested in any of the usual excuses, they may well be true but if you cannot accom then we would pass you by. If we did contact a guy and he his opening gambit was to introduce accom issues our first thought would be "why is that not reflected in his profile" our second thought would be "what other things has he neglected to tell us" which would have us simply passing him by. You may argue that for some total honesty in a profile may reduce their playing potential but the flip side to that is the devil is always in the detail and dishonesty is usually easily uncovered. your absolutely right about honesty ...however once again the dishonest people are generally not single people they are couples cheating and masquerading as singles. To put the level of detail in a profile you suggest ..would make it long, boring and unattractive. I have found that many couples get stroppy when you can not fit in with there dates and schedules,where as but for a delay of a week or so you can .This then (as you have indicated) transfers into a irrational assumption that something is being hidden. For many its almost like an elitism ..that scenario being ...you want to join us then fit in with our plans or hit the road....to be honest anyone with a preoccupation with accomodation issues rings all sorts of warnning bells for me ...especially when diary and accomodation issues outweigh other more important factors. incidently that is not a knock at you personally or how you select your meets just an observation and my experiences. I am still confused as to why qualifying accom conditions on a profile is a bad thing. I know it may affect the amount of hits a couple or an individual gets but a simple one liner is open, honest and, more importantly, relevant. Those who misinterpret the one liner, a possible indication of a closed mind, are quite possibly not the sort of folk you would choose to meet so no harm no foul....... surely? Spin it another way, you include on your profile you can accom but occasionally daughter is home from Uni, couple with kids at Uni see your profile, possibly empathise, possibly get in touch as you have something in common...........voila Lay it all out there I say and let folk judge you by your written word and not by your omission." well i can see all that yeah, but i dont want to drag my private life into my swinging life to be honest its totally separate . Whats wrong a bit of patience with arranging a date when all people can meet,rather than assuming its because of some dark secret or infidelity ? | |||
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