FabSwingers.com forum: I want to understand Cuckolding

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I see this here so often. I want to understand it from the perspective of the cucked, since I can kind of appreciate the bull and cucked just getting off.

This idea of getting denied, and watching your partner get it from a "bull". Degradation and humiliation as well.

I just don't get it from the perspective of the cucked, so I'm hoping to understand it if some of you enlighten me.

Is any part of your desires related to some past incident? How did you approach it with your partners? What's going on in your mind? When the cucking is over, do you forget the degradation and to back to normal?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Correction: *the bull and cuckee

Damn autocorrect lol

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By *ortney CocksWoman
over a year ago

Nice one OP I’ll follow with interest to

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By *yeSureMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I'm sure there are variations in between that people prefer / subscribe to eg without humiliation.

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By *ee And MikeCouple
over a year ago

Cannock

We are a cuckold couple, have been for a number of years, Dee has always enjoyed attention from other guys and I’ve encouraged her on that.

Not every cuckold couple is into humiliation and degradation, some are but not us. We have a very loving marriage and although she’s in her 50’s now she’s always been a very attractive woman to other men and I’ve always been of the opinion I don’t own her and if she wants to play with others I’m happy with that.

Cuckolding isn’t for everyone and I’m sure that some couples would be horrified at the thought of (without being crude) a wife riding other guys cocks and her hubby being cool with it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks Mike, I can understand the enjoyment of attention. So from Dee's perspective, "I get it".

I'm interested in what the lifestyle brings to you personally.

To be honest, the idea of wife sharing isn't what I imagine cuckolding to be.

I guess, wife sharing with the explicit "you can't do this" probably is. Though I imagine there's a whole spectrum of what it can and can't be that I'm crudely unaware of.

It's the disparity and relative acceptance of the unfairness of it that I want to understand. The man can watch, but can't join in. The feeling of inadequacy at providing those feels whole someone else can. I dunno.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are a cuckold couple, have been for a number of years, Dee has always enjoyed attention from other guys and I’ve encouraged her on that.

Cuckolding isn’t for everyone and I’m sure that some couples would be horrified at the thought of (without being crude) a wife riding other guys cocks and her hubby being cool with it."

We are very similar to you guys we think? But we considered ourselves a stag and vixen type couple. Haven’t really dabbled in the cuck lifestyle. BUT some one recently sent us a cuckesq style msg and we found it turned us both on. But again couldn’t really pin point why?

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By *ee And MikeCouple
over a year ago

Cannock

"Thanks Mike, I can understand the enjoyment of attention. So from Dee's perspective, "I get it".

I'm interested in what the lifestyle brings to you personally.

To be honest, the idea of wife sharing isn't what I imagine cuckolding to be.

I guess, wife sharing with the explicit "you can't do this" probably is. Though I imagine there's a whole spectrum of what it can and can't be that I'm crudely unaware of.

I never see it as an unfairness, I can watch, hold Dee’s hand or clean her up afterwards so can be as involved as I want to.

As a cuck you fell like the most luckiest guy in the world with a beautiful wife, why not share her and watch her enjoy herself, I’ve always thought why wstchbporn when I can see if for real !

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By *ayd100Man
over a year ago

clitheroe

The elation of reclaiming what is yours cannot be explained. When that is denied as well your moving to another level, the denial and humiliation can be brutal so getting through the experience becomes the overriding goal, unless you go through it, it's impossible to explain it's as if your the one in control because subconsciously your getting what you want.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Haven’t really dabbled in the cuck lifestyle. BUT some one recently sent us a cuckesq style msg and we found it turned us both on. But again couldn’t really pin point why? "

Ty both. I must admit, i had to Google stag/ vixen and I think it definitely fits closer to what Mike and Dee describe. It also highlighted the differences being that Cucking involves an element of inadequacy and humiliation.

Can you share what a cuckesq type message looked like? And perhaps anything you can think about, about why you felt excited by it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haven’t really dabbled in the cuck lifestyle. BUT some one recently sent us a cuckesq style msg and we found it turned us both on. But again couldn’t really pin point why?

Can you share what a cuckesq type message looked like? And perhaps anything you can think about, about why you felt excited by it."

Not sure if forum rules allow us to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it has been said before, so I am sorry for going over old ground, but cuck/hotwife scenarios are definitely not a "one size fits all" kind of thing.I enjoyed Sandra having sex with others and mild playful humiliation.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

I came to the conclusion that I'll probably never fully understand it myself - and that's okay! I don't need to. As long as those who engage in that dynamic are consenting and happy, it doesn't matter what I think or whether I understand it or not. There are other kinks and fetishes I have zero understanding of either, but as long as it floats your / their boat, go to town.

I lean more to the D side of the D/s scale, so can put myself in the shoes of a bull, and I can be the Top / giver of humiliation and degredation, but I cannot fathom getting off on being the receiver / in the cuck's shoes. Different strokes for different folks and all that. Depends how you're wired sexually, I guess.

But yeah, back to the main point - there are some things I'm never going to "get"... and that's okay!

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By *yeSureMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I think it has been said before, so I am sorry for going over old ground, but cuck/hotwife scenarios are definitely not a "one size fits all" kind of thing.I enjoyed Sandra having sex with others and mild playful humiliation."

What perhaps causes the confusion is people thinking there is one size fits all and everyone must conform to it.

Do what you are comfortable with and enjoy

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

from role play to real lifestyle the spectrum is very wide .... you'll get replies mainly from the roleplay / fantasy side of things via these forums

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A few have been kind enough to message me directly, and that's really sweet. Thank you all.

I guess I'm no closer to understanding the ins and outs.

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By *ister_EMan
over a year ago

Hayling Island

To be honest mate, you'll have as much luck as trying to understand 'women' or 'relationships.....

No two cuckold relationships are the same and no two people will ever have the same personal definition of cuckolding.

I've been lucky enough to have had a few intense and prolonged relationships with cuckold couples over the years, and no two were in any way, even remotely alike.

In some cases the relationships also evolved and grew and changed over time too as we grew and changed.

The best you can do is figure out what cuckolding means to you, and what you want to get out of it as a Bull. Then try to look for couples with similar needs and tastes

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By *tranger swings 69Couple
over a year ago

cheshire

Good thread this.

I ( Jack ) struggle to understand what the cuck gets out of it aswel, each to their own though and respect everyone’s wishes.

We get a lot of messages that assume we are a cuck couple, your fella can watch etc etc which is not our thing at all.

We want to share experiences together, personally I want to watch Sam with another guy for a bit and then get involved in the action myself. I don’t consider myself cuck for this.

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By *wguy100Man
over a year ago

Exeter

"Good thread this.

I ( Jack ) struggle to understand what the cuck gets out of it aswel, each to their own though and respect everyone’s wishes.

We get a lot of messages that assume we are a cuck couple, your fella can watch etc etc which is not our thing at all.

We want to share experiences together, personally I want to watch Sam with another guy for a bit and then get involved in the action myself. I don’t consider myself cuck for this.

It’s a very broad spectrum

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

I think it is a thing of just pushing the boundary every time, and getting desensitized to old and accommodating the new. Reason why it I think would be difficult to understand.

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By *aughtystaffs60Couple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

My mrs doesn't get it and I am her cuckold. It's just so good to see your mrs happy and enjoying herself. Life's too short. I know my place and I sometimes need some help here LOL.

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By *idnightMischiefMan
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 16/10/23 15:42:55]

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By *idnightMischiefMan
over a year ago

London

As I've got older, I've become much more monogamous than I was, say, in my thirties.

But, I still enjoy knowing and being part of a woman's exploration - I get turned on by slutty behaviour.

However, my brain is contradictory, in that I still get jealous and angsty - and my angst seems to compete with my sex drive.

Many years ago, when I caught an ex cheating, I massively sexualised it - and, thinking back, it still turns me on now.

It's like, keep me horny and my jealousy isn't an issue, but let me orgasm and my ego comes back with a vengeance.

Even with all that, I still don't understand it -- but whatever, too much analysis spoils the fun.

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By *arktightsMan
over a year ago

banchory

Call me old fashioned…..

But I took some pretty serious vows in marriage

And even leaving that to one side, our societal norms are that men protect and cherish their womenfolk (in order to procreate and then protect the next generation)

To deliberately let “your” woman go with another man goes against some very deep hard-wiring in us.

Which of course for some will be exciting and thrilling ……

Not for me ….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand it, the idea is that your wife is the most beautiful woman you know and being able to see her being made to orgasm by someone else is like watching a porn film with your favourite woman in and afterwards you get to claim her back and have amazing sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s just because you are born in this day and age, if you go back to the Roman times etc then it was actually very common.

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By *idnightMischiefMan
over a year ago

London

"afterwards you get to claim her back and have amazing sex."

Women should have agency though and your post sounds like ownership. It's never been like that for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not ownership, it’s coming back together and having sex that only you two can have because you love each other.

It’s 100% not for everyone, you both need to be in a secure place, the trust has to be there and both need to enjoy it. if it was to make me jealous then it wouldn’t be something that I would want to do.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

"Call me old fashioned…..

But I took some pretty serious vows in marriage

And even leaving that to one side, our societal norms are that men protect and cherish their womenfolk (in order to procreate and then protect the next generation)

To deliberately let “your” woman go with another man goes against some very deep hard-wiring in us.

Which of course for some will be exciting and thrilling ……

Not for me …. "

Erm... so who's gonna tell him?

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By *ust a little bit moreWoman
over a year ago

kendal

I'm gonna offer a new perspective, I spoke with a cuck couple who for them, it was almost like a pride thing, she was playing with other men, he liked to watch, and they both enjoyed HER having a little light degradation,

But ..... With Thier limits, came her only being allowed to play in certain ways, and saving things like BDSM play for him.

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By *ust a little bit moreWoman
over a year ago

kendal

"I'm gonna offer a new perspective, I spoke with a cuck couple who for them, it was almost like a pride thing, she was playing with other men, he liked to watch, and they both enjoyed HER having a little light degradation,

But ..... With Thier limits, came her only being allowed to play in certain ways, and saving things like BDSM play for him."

Almost like he had the 'control' coz he was the only guy who got to fuck her in a certain way

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By *otwife and MasterCouple
over a year ago

Derby

"Call me old fashioned…..

But I took some pretty serious vows in marriage

And even leaving that to one side, our societal norms are that men protect and cherish their womenfolk (in order to procreate and then protect the next generation)

To deliberately let “your” woman go with another man goes against some very deep hard-wiring in us.

Which of course for some will be exciting and thrilling ……

Not for me ….

Erm... so who's gonna tell him?"

He doesn’t get the irony so think we might be flogging a dead horse

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By *inkycouple692023Couple
over a year ago

doncaster

I’ve often wondered what Cuckold is myself

Don’t get the humiliation side or the cock cadges!!

Wouldn’t do anything for us however

Watching my wife play with other men

Is electric

I’ve just sat and watched her with two men before and get a real buzz from it all especially if they come in her or in her mouth

Always like to join in eventually

But my prize is to reclaim my wife afterwards

Not sure if that’s Cuckold or not

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By *ullyMan
over a year ago

Near Clacton

Whatever rocks your boat, and does no harm.

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By *otSoObviousCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I see this here so often. I want to understand it from the perspective of the cucked, since I can kind of appreciate the bull and cucked just getting off.

This idea of getting denied, and watching your partner get it from a "bull". Degradation and humiliation as well.

I just don't get it from the perspective of the cucked, so I'm hoping to understand it if some of you enlighten me.

Basically it's not possible to explain this dynamic in here.

If you want to explore this subject and understand it better look for 'venus cuckoldress', 'keys and anklets' or 'bulls and queens' podcasts. There is more but I think these are closest to the subject.

Hundreds of hours conversations about cuckolding, stag/vixen, hotwife lifestyle. Enjoy

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By *ayd100Man
over a year ago

clitheroe

In the end it is all subjective between the people involved, what works for some doesn't work for others , pushing the boundaries can make it more difficult to the detriment of the whole but on the other hand could enhance the experience, in reality who actually knows.

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Not into the cuck thing, but my take on it is that it can operate on a number of different levels, e.g. for some it involves humiliation, for others it doesn't, depending on what the couple require and so many other levels too. It seems that it can be about changing and playing with the dynamic / power play in a relationship, it can be about ultimate trust, it can be about loving your OH so much that you allow them to indulge their fantasies, it can be enjoying the fact that you have a partner who is desired by many, is highly sexed, but it's still you that she comes back to and where the relationship is, for some it's like being in a relationship with porn star, who you get to watch and are teased by, etc , etc

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By *oveandfilthMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Mmm would love to be the extra man on to try list

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By *ayd100Man
over a year ago

clitheroe

Spot on

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By *omRachCouple
over a year ago

Wirral

Ours is more a hotwife than cuckold lifestyle but I cannot lie - there have been times where/when the humiliation side of things have crept in and these have led to mixed emotions (both positive and negative).

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By *nj6969Couple
over a year ago

Grimsby

I love watching j fuck other guys. It's a real turn on for us.

She likes sex and I don't own her.

We never cheat always agree together and sometimes I watch sometime a 3 sum.

Not into humiliation etc just love sharing my wife I guess xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I see this here so often. I want to understand it from the perspective of the cucked, since I can kind of appreciate the bull and cucked just getting off.

This idea of getting denied, and watching your partner get it from a "bull". Degradation and humiliation as well.

I just don't get it from the perspective of the cucked, so I'm hoping to understand it if some of you enlighten me.

Basically it's not possible to explain this dynamic in here.

Hundreds of hours conversations about cuckolding, stag/vixen, hotwife lifestyle. Enjoy

I'll definitely take a closer look, ty

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By *ee And MikeCouple
over a year ago

Cannock

"Call me old fashioned…..

But I took some pretty serious vows in marriage

And even leaving that to one side, our societal norms are that men protect and cherish their womenfolk (in order to procreate and then protect the next generation)

To deliberately let “your” woman go with another man goes against some very deep hard-wiring in us.

Which of course for some will be exciting and thrilling ……

Not for me …. "

Most cuckold couples don’t get married so they can be a cuckold couple, it’s usually a culmination of circumstances.

The cuck could have a small penis or erection problems and not be able to satisfy the hotwife properly or the hotwife could have a higher sex drive and enjoy riding other men’s cocks.

Most cuckold couples are devoted to each other and wouldn’t want their relationship any other way and it’s not a case of deliberately letting your wife go with another man, I don’t own her, she’s not my possession, she’s a free person to do what she wants.

Personally I’d rather my wife cuckold me than have numerous affairs behind my back, some might say that’s a sad attitude to have, but how many marriages break up because of affairs and you end up losing someone you really love and want to spend the rest of your life with.

I’m sure loads can’t get it, but I hope there are plenty like ourselves that do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must say it is refreshing to see a civil debate, and thoughtful contributions. Makes a pleasant change.

My take is that there is no real definition of what a cuckold relationship is. As with pretty much everything sex related everyone has their own boundaries and rules. I have been fortunate enough to play with a few couples over the years. Without going into specifics I think it is a spectrum, with cuckold towards one end: choices and needs include things like humilation (not my thing), being present or not: restraint: joining in: there is no right and wrong, (providing boundaries are respected) and I think some folk over think the label. Have fun!

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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst

"Call me old fashioned…..

But I took some pretty serious vows in marriage

And even leaving that to one side, our societal norms are that men protect and cherish their womenfolk (in order to procreate and then protect the next generation)

To deliberately let “your” woman go with another man goes against some very deep hard-wiring in us.

Which of course for some will be exciting and thrilling ……

Not for me ….

Most cuckold couples don’t get married so they can be a cuckold couple, it’s usually a culmination of circumstances.

The cuck could have a small penis or erection problems and not be able to satisfy the hotwife properly or the hotwife could have a higher sex drive and enjoy riding other men’s cocks.

I’m sure loads can’t get it, but I hope there are plenty like ourselves that do."

Mike. Totally agree that this option is better than cheating behind your back, which eventually destroys trust and the partnership.

However, in cases where "The cuck could have a small penis or erection problems and not be able to satisfy the hotwife properly or the hotwife could have a higher sex drive and enjoy riding other men’s cocks.", you appear to make it look like it's a binary choice between this or cheating. It's not. Instead of cuckolding, you may choose for a stag and vixen, or a hotwife dynamic, or most simply for a threesome with another man where the hubby is an active part of the play (hands, lips), even if he cannot use his cock.

So choosing a cuckold dynamic where the male is denied and excluded from the play on purpose, and sometimes denigrated, it is very much a conscious choice for the enjoyment of the cuckold who prefers that dynamic versus others, since the wife could surely be cock-satisfied through many other dynamics.

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By *G CoupleCouple
over a year ago

stirling

Great thread really enjoyed people's perspectives.

We have spoken about cuck scenarios and fantasies. We aren't exclusively a cuck couple but it's something we're interested in trying as we like to push our limits and it seems very naughty to us both. We both have submissive sides that could be explored in a scenario like that which I think is what draws us into it

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By *utton and bowCouple
over a year ago

derby

Feel there's an age element to this,when younger jealously and people seeking a new partner,children and even pregnancies all come into possibilities. Old,say 55 plus couples have built a strong foundation and seeking adventure becomes appealing,finding new sex partners and exploring boundaries as a couple takes on a different perspective.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I discussed it in my last two relationships, the first was very open to it and the latter wasn’t.

For me it’s watching her experience, seeing her nervousness fade in to lust, her body relax and the loss of self control.

As has already been said the sex together after (reclaiming) is passionate, intimate and intense…this is where I prefer a slight dose of “he was bigger” fuck me harder like he did” but each to there own!!!

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By *wguy100Man
over a year ago

Exeter

"Feel there's an age element to this,when younger jealously and people seeking a new partner,children and even pregnancies all come into possibilities. Old,say 55 plus couples have built a strong foundation and seeking adventure becomes appealing,finding new sex partners and exploring boundaries as a couple takes on a different perspective."

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By *lwaysready4moreCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

As others have said already, its a bit different for each person so a bit of communication required to establish what type of cuckold couple they are. We've had guys who didn't understand what the cuck gets from it but were happy to play along anyway. And there have been guys who just wanted to have my wife all to themselves without much thought about me. So for everyone to be happy, it just needs a bit of a conversation.

For us humiliation features heavily. I've lived a successful single life and had plenty of fun and no one I know would think in a million years I was a sub, never mind a cuck husband. So it is our little secret and that in itself is a turn on.

Why does humiliation work? For us its power. Think about the most powerful, alpha, masculine man you know. If his wife openly cheats on him and tells everyone it was because he was tiny and inadequate, he's going to be utterly humiliated. Now if you and your wife know its just a game and it isn't real, then humiliation is still there but its entirely safe. You feel powerless, helpless, controlled...but you always know your wife has got you. Its like jumping off a bridge- terrifying, inexplicable, why-am-I-doing-this, until you feel that bungee cord, that security. Then the whole thing feels like a rush.

As for chastity cages etc, my wife's denies me and I suffer greatly as a result. It emphasises the difference between me and the guys she is with. It makes me owned by her and that's a feeling which is about 100 levels higher than an orgasm and, unlike an orgasm, it lasts forever.

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

"As others have said already, its a bit different for each person so a bit of communication required to establish what type of cuckold couple they are. We've had guys who didn't understand what the cuck gets from it but were happy to play along anyway. And there have been guys who just wanted to have my wife all to themselves without much thought about me. So for everyone to be happy, it just needs a bit of a conversation.

As someone already said, cuckold couples are probably some of the strongest marriages out there. Once you have that deep level of trust and understanding, it opens the doors to anything being possible. "
So very very described. It can be difficult to describe and explain from both the cuck and bull side but yours is excellent.

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By *ndypandy69Man
over a year ago

Telford

I used to regularly meet a couple in a similar situation - no humiliation,just teasing. It was very erotic for us all and would include lots of WhatsApp exchanges between me and cuck between meets when he would bring her to hotel bar and sit on his own as we chatted and I touched her up, before walking past him to the lift. He'd get photos and video clips and sometimes invited to the room to clean her. Such a horny scenario and a lovely couple

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