FabSwingers.com forum: GUYS LET YOU DOWN LAST MINUTE

By *ousepartyfun4us OP Couple
over a year ago

CONSETT

Well.... What is it with guys?.. They are almost all (9 out of 10), time wasters... yet again 2 guys organised for Friday night for some MMMF fun... Lisa organised it and said they will defo come if it is her organising it... she got 2 guys to "DEFINITELY" confirm... I laughed and said... we will have a bet... before they are actually due to turn up... One or possibly both, will have a serious issue that prevents them coming... I gave her a few of the normal excuses... Car breakdown, pinched or some other transport issue..... A medical problem at home or a death of a relative or a close friend, and finally I said it will be a work related issue... shift change, problem at the factory etc... I won... first guy yesterday evening said his car has to go in to the garage for major works on Friday so he wont have a car.... This morning the other guy says his step dad has died and he has to go down south to help his mum.... I'm not saying they are liars and I would happily apologise if I have got it wrong on the odd occasion... but it's the same "ALMOST" every time we plan something... I think most guys on here are either wishful thinkers, picture collectors, time wasters or wankers!... anyway... Happy fabbing everyone....AND GOOD LUCK!! R&Lxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried doing any last minute meets? That's how my meets have happened, doesn't give me any time to get nervous, and I just turn up and get involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are a significant number of people who bottle it at it last minute, men especially so. I often think it’s related to whether they have a wife at home who might be suspicious of their meet (down the pub, with friends, at the footy, or whatever excuse they have come up with).

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By *quirtyfun69Couple
over a year ago

Burnley

We had one bottle it, as we were too close we feel and was on the floor above haha, he clearly was a messer

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By *t0600Man
over a year ago

elvedon

Stunned to read that some people think it could be 9/10 that don’t turn up

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By *arklong88Man
over a year ago

Portslade /porthmadog

It could be turned into a game,gangbang excuse bingo...cats died a bonus point!

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By *angler 321Man
over a year ago

Hereford

You say it's guys, I've been left footing the bill and twiddling my thumbs in a hotel room 4 times over the last 3 or four years, by couples!!

No message, excuse , nothing then blocked! What's that all about?

I've never not turned up for a meet, I just wouldn't waste anyone's time.

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By *ousepartyfun4us OP Couple
over a year ago

CONSETT

We will give it a go..Lx

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By *ousepartyfun4us OP Couple
over a year ago

CONSETT

We do understand that... but then perhaps they would be better off going on a dating site..Lx

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By *teve691000Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

I had arranged to meet a couple. Was given the location and was on my way to meet them. At that point they asked if I would contribute £40 to the fund. I don’t do that kind of thing so turned around and went home disappointed.

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By *ousepartyfun4us OP Couple
over a year ago

CONSETT

We Got to the stage of inviting 8 to 10 who confirmed they were DEFINITELY coming... so that we would get 6 or 7 excuses and still have one or two who made it... we now normally do all the picture and face swap stuff.. but last thing on the day before we ask to swap mobiles... if your meeting in a pub then you need to make contact to identify each other... its at that point that most of the "Home Disasters" take place... its a great waster sieve ... lol Lisa & Robx

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By *teve691000Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

I told them I won’t fund there addiction

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By *ousepartyfun4us OP Couple
over a year ago

CONSETT

We have had that too.... Marriott in Leeds... meet up have fun go to Quest together and back to hotel.... No show!.. we still had fun in the clubs

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Just can’t understand it. Like someone said above, they just must be married / fantasists

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well.... What is it with guys?.. They are almost all (9 out of 10), time wasters... yet again 2 guys organised for Friday night for some MMMF fun... Lisa organised it and said they will defo come if it is her organising it... she got 2 guys to "DEFINITELY" confirm... I laughed and said... we will have a bet... before they are actually due to turn up... One or possibly both, will have a serious issue that prevents them coming... I gave her a few of the normal excuses... Car breakdown, pinched or some other transport issue..... A medical problem at home or a death of a relative or a close friend, and finally I said it will be a work related issue... shift change, problem at the factory etc... I won... first guy yesterday evening said his car has to go in to the garage for major works on Friday so he wont have a car.... This morning the other guy says his step dad has died and he has to go down south to help his mum.... I'm not saying they are liars and I would happily apologise if I have got it wrong on the odd occasion... but it's the same "ALMOST" every time we plan something... I think most guys on here are either wishful thinkers, picture collectors, time wasters or wankers!... anyway... Happy fabbing everyone....AND GOOD LUCK!! R&Lxx"

If its happening a lot (9/10,yet again,you're playing a game of excuse(s))

Tthe common denominator in this is...

..you

change something do something different

or chances are you'll continue playing excuse bingo

Have fun

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Maybe turn up at a Greedy Girls night at a club, then the men are already there.

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By *umwithme69Man
over a year ago

HEREFORD

I would never key people down. As I know how they feel. Why say you meeting and just don’t turn up , sad. I’ll always. Turn up

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By *umwithme69Man
over a year ago

HEREFORD

I would never LET ,,,

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By *ousepartyfun4us OP Couple
over a year ago

CONSETT

Maybe it us us!

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By *ousepartyfun4us OP Couple
over a year ago

CONSETT

Well We prefer that there is some mutual attraction .. so still greedy but fussy... lol

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By *umwithme69Man
over a year ago

HEREFORD

Doubt it you look hot

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I used to meet a lot of couples years ago.

But I was always wary when approached by couples who didn't state they were looking for single men on their profiles, as often it was an indication that it wasn't a real couple or that they were choosing to contact men due to lack of success with any other demographic.

The one thing that always used to be key was an early phone call or video chat, so that everyone knew that there was in fact two people looking to meet and that a discussion could be had about scenarios and plans. Leaving that to the last minute gives anyone not genuinely interested ample time to fulfil their online wank fantasies via PM and pic sharing, and also makes it hard to make last minute plans when people pull out. Yes, a physical social can be harder to plan for couples but if possible that's also a good way to out the time wasters.

It's not just single guys that flake out on meets. Couples are just as guilty of changing their minds last minute, getting a 'better offer' and as there are two of them the odds of last minute complications and emergencies doubles.

This isn't a single guy issue. It's a 'people' issue.

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By *hristopherd999Man
over a year ago

Brentwood

"I had arranged to meet a couple. Was given the location and was on my way to meet them. At that point they asked if I would contribute £40 to the fund. I don’t do that kind of thing so turned around and went home disappointed."

Same thing has happened to me twice, and us men get the bad rep!

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By *ercedes_SLKMan
over a year ago

nottingham

Sadly this doesn’t surprise me

FAB is full of time wasters which makes it all the more difficult for genuine folk to be heard through the noise

I hope any future experiences are more positive for the OP

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

At least they told you they weren't showing up. And to be honest men are allowed to change their mind just the same as anyone else on here.

Being on here does not entitle anyone to anything and if it's happening a lot to you then maybe look inward at what might be making them change their minds.

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

We had set up a last min meet few nights ago. Sent over 20 invites with location. Only 6 turned up, 3 location messages we're still not even read next morning. The rest did'nt even bother with an excuse.

You read every day, men moaning on status, they don't get meets or they are let down. We send out confirmed offers, and get let down. A block always ensues.

Even if no one turns up, we still have fun between us.

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By *asycouple1971Couple
over a year ago

midlands

We get that as well. So many jokers on here.

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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst

It seems odd that you get this every time, so can't be really an issue of men, with so many here. Others suggested the issue is with you, but that's unlikely either, with so many men here desperate to have a shag no matter how awful you might be.

My bet is the issue is your preferences selecting men and your searching patterns, a man earlier suggested that too. If you keep filtering and using the same parameters, you'll end up selecting from the same pool of fantasists, or the "marriedly unavailable" in the evenings types. At least some food for thought?

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By *ickingdelightMan
over a year ago

Cotswolds

It’s women for me I finally get a response to an email, seems to go well; after a while it turns to a meet, trying to arrange and just before I’m about to leave I get ghosted.

Few times I get a rough location to meet, which is fine for safety, then it’s ’I’m just around corner’ then it’s I’m waiting where are you, as I respond ‘where you said to be’ before they block and delete. Which I’m guessing is either a guy or people messing around

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By *ullmanMan
over a year ago

hull

Ive had women and couples send me to the wrong house over the years.

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

Not saying this is the reason. But you look a really sexy, fit couple. Maybe some guys have a last minute wobble they you’re “ out of their league”

Still not good to just not turn up without saying though

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By *ankman69Man
over a year ago

WILLENHALL

Only ever let one couple down abd I could not apologise enough and felt so bad

But apart from that once went form Linda o to Glasgow for a meet was very sexy

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By *ankman69Man
over a year ago

WILLENHALL

I had a couple message me at midnight forty mins away abd had to say no as I was up at five, they did not take it well, Shame but we cannot all do last min meets all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had three 100% confirmed can make it, even up to a few hours before the meeting. Then the excuses come out.

It’s a bloody shame as with my slut it’s 100% sure thing if we are meeting.

Now I have been a single guy on here and taken the knocks……but single men do not do themselves any favours with the constant stories of being let downs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My last 3 meets have given one of them excuses, an hour before coming, all women. Seems it’s a common theme for both sex’s

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By *ysonfuryMan
over a year ago

Stockport

As always there are good couples, single ladies and guys. Single guys tend to outnumber couples and single ladies so even a small percentage who let folks down can seen like a big problem. Letdowns can happen all ways. Been lucky and met some really nice singles and couples on here. Maybe check out the veries to get a bit more reassurance. Not all us single just let people down. There are some good ones out there

Happy fabbing everyone

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By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

I've not had anyone not turn up. Some I wish hadn't.. So I've literally had to tell them I've changed My mind. But that's only because we always met for lunch/dinner beforehand. And there was no connection.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

As Obi said - it’s a people issue but I get meets because I’ve got a reputation of a reliable verified single guy that turns up and actually resembles his profile, I don’t want any more competition… so carry on ghosting / no-shows you keyboard dreamers and leave them for us dudes that do make an effort.

…As the saying goes ‘I love gay guys because they leave more women for the rest of us but more importantly they take another guy with them’

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By *renzMan
over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

For many it's a fantasy. Something they think they can do but when it actually comes to reality they realise they can't actually go through with it.

I've always met for a social except for the odd occasion, before any play. If someone doesn't turn up, the worst that happens is you have a coffee/drink on your own.

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"As Obi said - it’s a people issue but I get meets because I’ve got a reputation of a reliable verified single guy that turns up and actually resembles his profile, I don’t want any more competition… so carry on ghosting / no-shows you keyboard dreamers and leave them for us dudes that do make an effort.

…As the saying goes ‘I love gay guys because they leave more women for the rest of us but more importantly they take another guy with them’"

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By *eventhheaven2022Couple
over a year ago

accrington

Well written and we feel your pain, exactly the same thing happens to us regularly,our last let down had to fly to Poland for work,let us know at the 11th hour

pic collectors, attached,or ego trippers...keep the faith xx

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

I got abuse for letting a couple know that I wouldn't be coming, four days in advance. Because I'd been in A&E... can't win

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a couple message me at midnight forty mins away abd had to say no as I was up at five, they did not take it well, Shame but we cannot all do last min meets all the time "

Exactly we are not time wasters if life on the outside says No.

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

We had a run of about 5 meets that got cancelled by 4 different people. We understand things can happen so are usually willing to give a second chance depending on the situation. But if it happens more than once then that's it. It is frustrating when you have limited free dates to play and you've been looking forwards to a meet, especially as most of our cancellations have been weekday meets so there's not really the same opportunity to make alternative plans last minute compared to a Friday or Saturday night.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

It’s definitely a people thing. It’s not about it just being single men. Things happen. Plans can change sometimes. But I would suggest OP some of the things Obi has stated above. Video call.. develop a friendship situation first. Then you’re much more likely to get a successful meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup spent £95 on the hotel and then one meet cancelled last minute due to her reasons. My most recent couple offered to book the hotel and I transferred them half so then both parties knew they were committed. Think going forward this is how I will be dealing with others in future to avoid wasters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah we totally understand OP. We've had single guys we've met before cancel at the last minute with the lamest of excuses - like washing their beard!?, Having to walk their friends dog & having to stay with a "friend" who's been in hospital all night or just too tired after work but then show a veri from someone else the next day. Don't get us wrong everyone has the right to change their mind & things do happen but just be honest! We can take it if you don't want to meet. Sometimes fab meets are hard work so clubs are an easier option x

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

When I get the impression someone’s lying to me I quite enjoy carrying on chatting with them and pretending that I completely believe their lies and start asking them questions about it, showing real concern etc. If the person is lying then it becomes clear very quickly because they will avoid talking about it, contradict themselves, tell more obvious lies or just stop replying altogether, it also becomes clear if someone is actually telling the truth because their answers will be what you’d expect from someone who’s in the situation they’ve said they’re in. There are plenty of good reasons for doing this….it gives you a better idea of who is lying and who’s telling the truth so you avoid accusing people of being a liar when they aren’t, if the person is lying then having to answer more questions about the lie and having to make up more lies must be really annoying and uncomfortable so it feels like you’re getting a bit of revenge on them for lying to you and hopefully will make them less inclined to lie in the future, if they do contradict themselves and give you something that proves they’re lying then it’s very satisfying telling them that and interesting to see how they react….and finally because it’s a lot of funny winding up someone who’s lied to you haha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men and women both do it. For a while I only met privately with people I had met at a club.

Been away for a while but I guess that hasn't changed.

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"We had set up a last min meet few nights ago. Sent over 20 invites with location. Only 6 turned up, 3 location messages we're still not even read next morning. The rest did'nt even bother with an excuse.

You read every day, men moaning on status, they don't get meets or they are let down. We send out confirmed offers, and get let down. A block always ensues.

Even if no one turns up, we still have fun between us."

I assume that by ‘last minute meet’ you mean that you sent a message saying something like ‘come to this location in half an hour for some fun’? If you’re complaining that the location messages weren’t read the next morning you must have been asking them to meet you the same night that you sent the message so I think my assumption is correct.

If I sent a message to 20 mates saying meet me in the pub in half an hour I’d be very happy if 6 of them turned up, to be honest I’d be surprised if more than 2 came along.

Do you think that people are sat around, twiddling their thumbs every night waiting for a message off you to meet up? Do you think that people should avoid making any plans just in case you want to meet up with them? Do you expect people to drop what ever they’re doing, or cancel any plans they have, as soon as you send them a message to meet up? Obviously you do if you’re complaining about them not turning up when you send them a last minute invite to meet up.

And then you say that they’ve ‘let you down’ because they were rude enough to be busy when you asked them to meet you. You can’t just randomly ask someone to do something and then say that they’ve let you down when it’s not convenient for them to do it. They haven’t let you down, they just weren’t able to meet at the last minute.

Blocking someone for not being able to meet you when you send them a last minute invite is the actions of someone who’s completely self involved and has no consideration for anyone else.

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By *siaessex2Couple
over a year ago

essex

Happens to us a lot with guys . they keep asking for a meet .then when we arrange they don't reply or just don't turn up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is where the verifications takes part. I believe a well verified guy is less likely that will waste your time and cancel the meet. But even then something can happen, I personally have cancelled a meeting twice since I’m on Fab and it was no other way for me at that point.

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By *andi19Couple
over a year ago

somewhere

We had 2 guys bailing on us too! Very frustrating, one of the. Use the car excuse! Pffff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's such a odity. Guys who do this just make organising meets stressful.

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

By the way OP, why does your profile say that you’re looking for couples (MF) but you seem to be arranging a lot of meets with single men?

So what you’re implying is that 9/10 men are liars…rather than be honest and say they’ve changed their mind they will make up an excuse? And you don’t mention that any of them have ever ghosted you, have you never had any men just stop messaging you? I’d have thought that this would be by far the most common way that men would deal with an arranged meet that they don’t really want to go to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"By the way OP, why does your profile say that you’re looking for couples (MF) but you seem to be arranging a lot of meets with single men?

Because they probably prefer to go looking for men themselves. Otherwise if people tick the looking for men box, they will get their inbox flooded with desperate, unsuitable men.

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"By the way OP, why does your profile say that you’re looking for couples (MF) but you seem to be arranging a lot of meets with single men?

Because they probably prefer to go looking for men themselves. Otherwise if people tick the looking for men box, they will get their inbox flooded with desperate, unsuitable men."

Ok, that explains it then. It’s working well for them so far….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh how i would love the opportunity of letting someone down. Not that i would though. Id be very nervous but would turn up. Keeping getting told not there type. Heyo thats life.

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

I've had it from single men, single women and couples.

Ok several have been genuine, can't make it, but have rescheduled and turned up for that meet.

But mostly it's excuses, blocking or just not showing.

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By *jphotMan
over a year ago

Stourbridge

It just seems hard to find genuine people.

I tend to avoid profiles who aren't photo verified and having only got webcam or a single meet verification. This seems to get rid of some time wasters.

It seems rude to me, if you make a commitment, 1 be sure you can and want too, 2 turn up!

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By *quirtyfun69Couple
over a year ago

Burnley

This happens often

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By *armandwet50Couple
over a year ago

Far far away

The last meeting we organised, we travelled, we paid for the hotel and he didn't even have the decency to cancel, he just didn't turn up

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By *efinitely Maybe 23Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

I have a theory on this! I suspect that a large portion of these men are so excited by the thought of the sex or are so worried about their stamina, that they have a wank before hand and this immediately extinguishes the desire to have the meet. It’s just a theory!

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By *oth0fusCouple
over a year ago

Dartford

Very interested in this thread we are planning our first meet in October at a hotel. It is a massive step and has taken a long time to get to this point. We will both be very disappointed if this was to happen.

Looking at guys with a few verifications on their profile but who knows???

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By *xonman53Man
over a year ago

Thame

I wont commit to a meet unless I can be sure of making it but have had several no shows in the past annoying especially if travelling as I use public transport...

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

We have had a few guys make excuses last minute. But more cpls have been time wasters than guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have had a few guys make excuses last minute. But more cpls have been time wasters than guys."

I had this at the last aberdeen social I was pissed stood on the floor of the hotel like they asked and then no response ghosted.

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By *quirtyfun69Couple
over a year ago

Burnley

Too many seem to ghost as well too

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By *ink vixenCouple
over a year ago

Medway

Had a couple of no shows for the social luckily enough.

Still bloody annoying but not yet lost the cost of a hotel at that point.

Twats

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By *1966Man
over a year ago

horsham

I have arranged meets on a monday night and that person is not online all day and they appear on a Tuesday.

Some of the excuses are brilliant.

One person i got to their road and they got nervous so never gave me the house number.

Nervous ?

40 verifications to their name.

40 (forty)

I drove to Brighton one day and she was in ghe pub and had been there all afternoon.

16 blowouts in Dorking alone.

Waste of a place.

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By *ensman100Man
over a year ago

Hounslow

I'd never dream of saying I'd meet without meaning it! Not that I get too many invites!

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire

I've lost count of the amount of times couples have stood me up or cancelled at the eleventh hour, so not just single men sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've lost count of the amount of times couples have stood me up or cancelled at the eleventh hour, so not just single men sorry. "

So true , I've had this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a couple of no shows for the social luckily enough.

Still bloody annoying but not yet lost the cost of a hotel at that point.

Twats "

I've made the mistake and lost 140 for a London trip once.. the woman I was talking too ghosted me after making plans.... train fair ruined cause hotels were exstortionate

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By *ilth Club SwanseaWoman
over a year ago

swansea

At the events I run, I have stats for no shows. These are averages..

Single men 62%

Single women 40%

Couples 48%

These are the figures I work to when organising guest lists - thought it might be useful/interesting info to post on this thread

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire

I've lost count of the amount of times couples have stood me up or cancelled at the eleventh hour, so not just single men sorry.

So true , I've had this"

Single guys get a lot of stick and I'm sure some if not most may deserve it, but some people need to look in a mirror a little closer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No 1 rule only meet well verified people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At the events I run, I have stats for no shows. These are averages..

Single men 62%

Single women 40%

Couples 48%

These are the figures I work to when organising guest lists - thought it might be useful/interesting info to post on this thread

More single women than I thought tbh. Couples as expected.

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire

"No 1 rule only meet well verified people. "

People can have loads of verifications from socials and clubs, doesn't always show the truth tho.

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

This is why I stick to club visits. Fab for me is just a social tool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No 1 rule only meet well verified people.

People can have loads of verifications from socials and clubs, doesn't always show the truth tho. "

100%

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By *ady-LoverMan
over a year ago

swindon

I think people just need to be honest if you’re not 100% just say.

Do what you say you will do.

If you get uncomfortable say you feel uncomfortable.

If you change your mind fine but don’t do it last minute not fair.

Iv had some great last min meets because of it don’t get me wrong but it does wind people up.

Treat people how you would like to be treated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just stick to clubs. Best way.

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By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

Personally never let anyone down by not turning up. Always turned up for a meet or a social. Been let down many times by the other person cancelling last minute. One time I was outside her house and she cancelled WTF

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

So far, we stick to clubs and that way the lions and the zebras are already close to each other. We have very little free time and if we say we are going to be somewhere, barring war or the zombie apocalypse we will be there.

OK, I'm calling it now, next Saturday we have a free night, anywhere in the Midlands we can meet at a club, a private party, or a pub before back to your place. This is a chance to prove that we are both not timewasters. We prefer couples, message us and make us an offer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only accommodate so I will always be there I have been let down a couple of times myself

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Meet socially first before the sex meet, to cut a lot of the wasters out.

You need to shift things up a bit, to see what results vary

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By *ady CurvaceousWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Introduced a guy to fab, we made plans for him to come to a club with me. He was "definitely" coming up til the day before. Thank ghosts me. Then the cheeky bastard has the gall to put on his status "too many talkers, not enough walkers" lol when he's never had a meet and blows out his first offer of a meet. What a twunt.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

Pick better verified guys or make the plans for a club.

Never had a no show or cancellation so must be doing something right

Most of the decent guys aren’t time wasters x

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

"Pick better verified guys or make the plans for a club.

Never had a no show or cancellation so must be doing something right

Most of the decent guys aren’t time wasters x"

After looking at your pics, I can see why people always turn up

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By *unner6969Man
over a year ago

Bicester

"Well.... What is it with guys?.. They are almost all (9 out of 10), time wasters... "

Women and couples do it too… frustrating, isn’t it?

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