FabSwingers.com forum: The "accommodate" conundrum

By *eal_Dick_Turpin OP Man
over a year ago

Exeter

There is a lot of dubious logic being applied here, I see many couples profiles that;

a/ Insist single males accommodate, in order to "prove" that they are single males and not guys cheating on their wives.

and

b/ ALSO state that they themselves cannot accommodate..

I mean seriously, WTF is that all about?

Sure, you can't accommodate 24/7/365, but there are friends / relatives / babysitters / sleepover etc.

Bottom line is the single guy is more or less expected to provide a place for the "couple" to fuck, and the perception is because he is a single guy, he CAN accommodate 24/7/365.

"Cannot travel" I get, some people can't afford to burn the extra diesel, some people don't drive, some people just don't have the time slots available to travel any distance and have time left to play, have a curfew tag (yes, it did happen to me..lol) etc.

"Cannot accommodate" no, that applies equally to all, unless you are in the services in bachelor quarters, in the YMCA, or living with your parents, or are couch surfing homeless.

*sure* having kids and other commitments makes things difficult and awkward, been there, got the tee shirt, but that is YOUR problem, not anyone else's.

as for cannot accommodate AND cannot travel, WTF is that all about, this is a swinging site for people to meet and hang out and fuck, not pen pals anonymous.

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By *c69funCouple
over a year ago

chesterfield

We don't accommodate at ours so Our choice is to meet others at their place, just our choice, if others have a problem with that we choose not to meet them. We also don't knowingly play with attached men. Just our choices.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

A lot of people don't want strangers knowing their address. If they are happy to wait to meet a single guy who is happy to accommodate what's the problem?? If your not then don't meet those couples. Easy really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/02/13 12:40:59]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I just never quite get the need to justify why you do certain things on here... if you choose not to accom, end of.

People can take it or leave it. I have read many times on here that single guys better have a very good reason why they don't accom.

but as always... each to their own

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By *uttyMan
over a year ago

Local to you maybe

My reasons are my reasons, my choice. People don't like it, tough

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By *uttyMan
over a year ago

Local to you maybe

[Removed by poster at 13/02/13 12:42:42]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't accommodate.

It's stated why on my profile for all to see!

Has it prevented me meeting and having fun?

Nope!!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Oh and as for the cannot accom or travel bit again it's a bit obvious. I don't drive so cannot travel far. But there's dozens of hotels within ten min taxi ride of my place which I'd be happy to split the cost of, then no one in my block of flats knows my business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never had a problem either way, however what does make me laugh is the fact some couples want a A4 message resembling "War and Peace" then complain that it may have been cut and pasted with the names changed, but thats the game we play.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"Ive never had a problem either way, however what does make me laugh is the fact some couples want a A4 message resembling "War and Peace" then complain that it may have been cut and pasted with the names changed, but thats the game we play."

That's a whole different thread! Lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As newbies to the swinging scean we prefer to meet at pubs and clubs for a first meet and not at our home . That way if we don't click then there's no pressure to play .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a whole different thread! Lol x "

Oops good point sorry lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ummm it's Thursday tomorrow

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

I can accommodate. I can travel. Funny enough all the people I met on this site never show up in my city centre apartment. Maybe the parking issue put them off. It is all about how you present yourslef. Yes they are some pushy couple here, not to say nasty and I mean very nasty trying to take your place for a shag and go place. I don't go for them and will never do.

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By *inge 1985Man
over a year ago

London

Am in the forces and living in SLA (single living accom) so can not accom but at the same time would not expect anybody to accom myself as people's houses are their homes and it is their choice to enjoy swinging and share with others this does not mean they should share their homes.

There are swinging clubs all over the country to meet at and hotels also.

As for being unable to travel i am off to Afghanistan in the not too distant future so have no car as it will be a waste of money when i am away for 8months of this year, happy to get on a train or a taxi but if it is not local it restricts play time due to travel restrictions. This is supposed to be fun for everyone so enjoy what you can when you can and if people have different curcumstances that do not suit you leave the poor people alone to enjoy themselves, it is YOUR problem and not theirs!

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"Am in the forces and living in SLA (single living accom) so can not accom but at the same time would not expect anybody to accom myself as people's houses are their homes and it is their choice to enjoy swinging and share with others this does not mean they should share their homes.

There are swinging clubs all over the country to meet at and hotels also.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

There are swinging clubs all over the country to meet at and hotels also.

Maybe he's got special boots on the allow him to run up walls! Didn't think of that did you??

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"...could you rotate your profile picture anti clock wise please????

Maybe he's got special boots on the allow him to run up walls! Didn't think of that did you??

"
hummmm let see what he has to say about that. Oiiiii Ginge tell us your secret

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By *eal_Dick_Turpin OP Man
over a year ago

Exeter

"...could you rotate your profile picture anti clock wise please????

Maybe he's got special boots on the allow him to run up walls! Didn't think of that did you??

hummmm let see what he has to say about that. Oiiiii Ginge tell us your secret

Superman training innit, he'll need all of that off to afdiggastan, so good luck to the bloke, just don't let him invite you over to the stan for a game of freckles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't want randoms knowing my house and turning up when they are pissed and fancy a fuck (as has happened to some females I know who accommodate)

I don't want my nosy neighbours or others in the village knowing who I see and what I do.

I don't want it to impinge on my family life in any way shape or form.

I know of some single mothers who have had social services investigate because someone with a grudge has sent them to their door.

So the upshot of it is, I do not accommodate at home because my family, privacy and safety come before any sexy hobby.

I accommodate in hotels as and when I can afford it.

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"...could you rotate your profile picture anti clock wise please????

Maybe he's got special boots on the allow him to run up walls! Didn't think of that did you??

hummmm let see what he has to say about that. Oiiiii Ginge tell us your secret

....

Superman training innit, he'll need all of that off to afdiggastan, so good luck to the bloke, just don't let him invite you over to the stan for a game of freckles."
I just can't believe you said that. How dare you take the opportunity for some people to get free accommodation and travel away? Those who will beready to have a meet on a front line in a very hot place would be queuing right now

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By *inge 1985Man
over a year ago

London

"...could you rotate your profile picture anti clock wise please????

Maybe he's got special boots on the allow him to run up walls! Didn't think of that did you??

hummmm let see what he has to say about that. Oiiiii Ginge tell us your secret

Superman training innit, he'll need all of that off to afdiggastan, so good luck to the bloke, just don't let him invite you over to the stan for a game of freckles."

It's a secrete! Never telling

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By *eal_Dick_Turpin OP Man
over a year ago

Exeter

" I don't want randoms knowing my house and turning up when they are pissed and fancy a fuck (as has happened to some females I know who accommodate)

I don't want my nosy neighbours or others in the village knowing who I see and what I do.

I don't want it to impinge on my family life in any way shape or form.

I know of some single mothers who have had social services investigate because someone with a grudge has sent them to their door.

So the upshot of it is, I do not accommodate at home because my family, privacy and safety come before any sexy hobby.

I accommodate in hotels as and when I can afford it.

I have no issues with that or anything else, what prompted this would be, FOR ARGUMENTS SAKE ONLY, if you took this attitude for your home life, but refused hotels and insisted your meets all accommodated, and opened themselves up to the very things you seek to avoid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I don't want randoms knowing my house and turning up when they are pissed and fancy a fuck (as has happened to some females I know who accommodate)

I don't want my nosy neighbours or others in the village knowing who I see and what I do.

I don't want it to impinge on my family life in any way shape or form.

I know of some single mothers who have had social services investigate because someone with a grudge has sent them to their door.

So the upshot of it is, I do not accommodate at home because my family, privacy and safety come before any sexy hobby.

I accommodate in hotels as and when I can afford it.

I think it is everyone's right to feel the same way as I do, be they a couple or single male or female.

I do not think it fair to insist single guys "prove" they are single by allowing strangers into their home either.

There are as many bunny-boilers as there are married and playing away people in this game!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we can accommodate and travel. as far as single men are concerned after an initial social we prefer to accommodate. we've never been to a single blokes place.

Nice rant tho.....

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"we can accommodate and travel. as far as single men are concerned after an initial social we prefer to accommodate. we've never been to a single blokes place.

Nice rant tho....."

. Thanks god there are still some nice couples here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always accommodate mainly because of where I live unless of course I am off the Island then I would expect my playmate to provide somewhere for us to go, if not at their home then hotels are easily available. I take a risk being a single woman having strangers stay over but I believe that if they have made the decision to travel to me the least I can do is provide a bed for the night, but only after spending plenty of time getting to know the guy. Nothing in this life is 100% safe.Thankfully all of my meets have been fabulous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*sure* having kids and other commitments makes things difficult and awkward, been there, got the tee shirt, but that is YOUR problem, not anyone else's.

who said it was anyone elses problem?

i dont accommodate, i could if i wanted to but i choose not to, im a single woman and i dont want guys off sex sites knowing where i live so they can just turn up whenever they are pissed and want a shag

Some people just choose not to accommodate there dont need to be a reason as to why, i dont have to be married, have kids or house share i could simply not want men of here knowing where i live

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I do not meet in hotels ever. I only accommodate at my home men who will invite me into theirs.

I share my home with my daughters, I play at home when they are at work/uni and those men I've invited in have never abused my hospitality, and are not the type of men that would ever dream of turning up uninvited. Hell, I've passed one of my playmates in Sainsbury's without barely acknowledging each other.

However, I stopped entertaining men that can't accommodate after my daughter came home unexpectedly and I suggested we change venue to his house, only to be told he didn't allow people he met of the internet into his house - it wasn't a knocking shop. Needlesstosay he never got invited back, and my new change in attitude.

I don't care what the reason it - you can't accommodate - not a problem, you're just not coming to my house!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is a lot of dubious logic being applied here, I see many couples profiles that;

a/ Insist single males accommodate, in order to "prove" that they are single males and not guys cheating on their wives.

and

b/ ALSO state that they themselves cannot accommodate..

I mean seriously, WTF is that all about?

Sure, you can't accommodate 24/7/365, but there are friends / relatives / babysitters / sleepover etc.

Bottom line is the single guy is more or less expected to provide a place for the "couple" to fuck, and the perception is because he is a single guy, he CAN accommodate 24/7/365.

"Cannot accommodate" no, that applies equally to all, unless you are in the services in bachelor quarters, in the YMCA, or living with your parents, or are couch surfing homeless.

*sure* having kids and other commitments makes things difficult and awkward, been there, got the tee shirt, but that is YOUR problem, not anyone else's.

as for cannot accommodate AND cannot travel, WTF is that all about, this is a swinging site for people to meet and hang out and fuck, not pen pals anonymous."

That is not how we operate, we will travel and share hotel costs but we do not want to accommodate at our house.

It is our marital home, our sanctuary and something we want to keep that way and not have swinging crossing that boundary.

There is also a safety risk as far as we are concerned, we do not want people to know where we live, incase it backfired it any way and then we get a stalker!

I work a lot from home and most definitely do not want anyone turning up unannounced or not invited.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is not how we operate, we will travel and share hotel costs but we do not want to accommodate at our house.

It is our marital home, our sanctuary and something we want to keep that way and not have swinging crossing that boundary.

There is also a safety risk as far as we are concerned, we do not want people to know where we live, incase it backfired it any way and then we get a stalker!

I work a lot from home and most definitely do not want anyone turning up unannounced or not invited.

i relate to that

I have kids and tho there are many times when my kids are out and i could invite someone here i wouldnt as this isnt just my home its my childrens home too and i respect that to much to have men off the internet in their home

There are many other places to meet, clubs, hotel etc, what i will say tho is i never ask anyone to accommodate me, i dont ask anyone to do what im not prepaired to do and to be honest id sooner go to a hotel than someones house, i just feel its safter, i have on occasion been to guys houses when they have almost insisted and said they would sooner that than get a hotel but id never ask

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i will accom but i have to connect with who i meet..thats why i take my time on here.x

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

Having previously accommodated and having people turn up uninvited on our doorstep at all hours of day and night we choose not to in our new home as this way it keeps me safe when home alone. we meet at clubs mainly or others homes. We would also happily split cost of hotel so no not everyone can accommodate I don't out of safety.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People have their own reason why they do what they do and really I cannot see any point in a thread which debates the issue.

If a couple wants you to accommodate and you don't agree with that, fair enough, it's your prerogative to disagree but maybe a better approach than raising a thread about it to vent your anger, why not move along to a profile where the couple are happy to accommodate.

To me that would seem an easier and more stress free approach.

BTW, we do accommodate single guys. No OP that isn't an invitation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having previously accommodated and having people turn up uninvited on our doorstep at all hours of day and night we choose not to in our new home as this way it keeps me safe when home alone. we meet at clubs mainly or others homes. We would also happily split cost of hotel so no not everyone can accommodate I don't out of safety. "

ive had that too

Ive only ever accommodated one guy and he abused my trust by turning up at my home uninvited when my kids was in

I have never given my address out to anyone since

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By *ustylikesgentsCouple
over a year ago

North wales coast

"There is a lot of dubious logic being applied here, I see many couples profiles that;

a/ Insist single males accommodate, in order to "prove" that they are single males and not guys cheating on their wives.

and

b/ ALSO state that they themselves cannot accommodate..

I mean seriously, WTF is that all about?

Sure, you can't accommodate 24/7/365, but there are friends / relatives / babysitters / sleepover etc.

Bottom line is the single guy is more or less expected to provide a place for the "couple" to fuck, and the perception is because he is a single guy, he CAN accommodate 24/7/365.

"Cannot accommodate" no, that applies equally to all, unless you are in the services in bachelor quarters, in the YMCA, or living with your parents, or are couch surfing homeless.

*sure* having kids and other commitments makes things difficult and awkward, been there, got the tee shirt, but that is YOUR problem, not anyone else's.

as for cannot accommodate AND cannot travel, WTF is that all about, this is a swinging site for people to meet and hang out and fuck, not pen pals anonymous."
just sounds like someone who isnt getting any and who would be surprised lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never understand how someone cannot accomodate or travel. To me that reads as not prepared to make any efforts. although I know there are lots of good reasons for both.

Also, what counts as 'accomodating'?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

comes down to trust doesnt it, I host but I have to meet ya first & i have a lady who I go to hers, but we trust each other now , and are friends.....so relax its all good,,,,not everyone ie trying to pull a fast one....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We don't accommodate at ours so Our choice is to meet others at their place, just our choice, if others have a problem with that we choose not to meet them. We also don't knowingly play with attached men. Just our choices."

Same here

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I'm a single female who can travel and accomodate...and I do...if a guy has cannot accomodate on his profile I ask why, if he then says it is because he has an OH, I decline as it sayd on my profile that I don't do the attached thing.

I have never had anyone turn up unannounced at any time, perhaps I just make good choices of who actually finds out where I live....

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

My profile is honest and upfront about why I can't accommodate, although when I have met people at their home, I always think it is a responsibility of mine to be the perfect guest and not abuse their hospitality. That means as a minimum turning up on time and leaving at an agreed time. I'm happy to meet on neutral ground and I can travel too. I've never had any issues with those criteria.

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By *preadeagleCouple
over a year ago

hull

"My reasons are my reasons, my choice. People don't like it, tough

to right i dont explain my choices to anyone !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do tend to avoid the 'single male' profiles who can't accommodate...... there is a strong probability that they are in a relationship. However, through the chatrooms, I have got to know and met two guys who 'can't accommodate' because they are genuinely living with their parents (youth/divorce, etc)

But as a single woman, my personal safety is of the utmost importance. There is no way that I would invite a stranger to my house, without being 100% sure that he was trustworthy.

And yes, I've probably 'missed out' on meets, due to my suspicious nature. But guess what? I've never had anyone turn up unexpectedly on my doorstep, and I am still getting all the sex I need!

I trust all Forumites are getting the same!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is a lot of dubious logic being applied here, I see many couples profiles that;

a/ Insist single males accommodate, in order to "prove" that they are single males and not guys cheating on their wives.

and

b/ ALSO state that they themselves cannot accommodate..

I mean seriously, WTF is that all about?

Sure, you can't accommodate 24/7/365, but there are friends / relatives / babysitters / sleepover etc.

Bottom line is the single guy is more or less expected to provide a place for the "couple" to fuck, and the perception is because he is a single guy, he CAN accommodate 24/7/365.

"Cannot accommodate" no, that applies equally to all, unless you are in the services in bachelor quarters, in the YMCA, or living with your parents, or are couch surfing homeless.

*sure* having kids and other commitments makes things difficult and awkward, been there, got the tee shirt, but that is YOUR problem, not anyone else's.

as for cannot accommodate AND cannot travel, WTF is that all about, this is a swinging site for people to meet and hang out and fuck, not pen pals anonymous."

its can be done if its a genuine living together couple but so many fbs on here who live with other partners lol

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By *eal_Dick_Turpin OP Man
over a year ago

Exeter

its can be done if its a genuine living together couple but so many fbs on here who live with other partners lol"

Precisely, but they "market" themselves as a couple who cannot accommodate, so you end up providing them with a place to fuck, since neither of them can accommodate the other either... so MMF it is ;*)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My profile is honest and upfront about why I can't accommodate, although when I have met people at their home, I always think it is a responsibility of mine to be the perfect guest and not abuse their hospitality. That means as a minimum turning up on time and leaving at an agreed time. I'm happy to meet on neutral ground and I can travel too. I've never had any issues with those criteria. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cannot accommodate because my son lives with me, he is 24 yrs old so at an age where he comes and goes as he pleases. He also works full time like me but unlike me, he rarely knows when he is having a day off as working 6 days per week, he is supposed to have a rota day, it just doesn't happen like that as they are just too busy for it to be a regular occurrence. I can therefore accommodate if I am having annual leave but a meet at my home could be cancelled the night before as that is usually the notice I get from my son. I don't think its fair to build people's hopes up only to have to cancel it the night before. Yes I could explain the circumstances but its easier not to. Plus most I meet can accommodate anyway

I don't insist that single males must be able to accommodate but I like to know why they cannot as I don't play with cheaters. Some cannot accommodate as they house share, or share custody of children or have children living permanently living with them, I don't have an issue with them at all, like I said, I don't insist as its no big deal

And can accommodate is no proof that someone is single as I found out last week when I chatted to a guy who accommodates when his wife is away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never understand how someone cannot accomodate or travel. To me that reads as not prepared to make any efforts. although I know there are lots of good reasons for both.

Also, what counts as 'accomodating'? "

In a hotel by some, others it means at someone's home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I 'cannot accomodate' and I won't explain why not.

I 'cannot travel' and by that I mean not far.

I don't pay any attention to either of those on people's profiles. If I like someone I chat to them and figure out how we can meet.

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