Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to Swingers Chat |
| Jump to newest |  |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hello everyone, do you guys agree thats is really hard to find a single guy that actually meets the general criteria of a bull? Just trying to see if is just us that have been unlucky. Stay kinky "What's your criteria? Asking for a friend  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hello everyone, do you guys agree thats is really hard to find a single guy that actually meets the general criteria of a bull? Just trying to see if is just us that have been unlucky. Stay kinky "I am no bull i can admit that...lol but us guys also find it hard to find women or couples that actually answer, acknowledge and even respond to our advances ... At times i loose hope due to either being ignored or just a polite reply with no thanks not for us this time | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hello everyone, do you guys agree thats is really hard to find a single guy that actually meets the general criteria of a bull? Just trying to see if is just us that have been unlucky. Stay kinky
What's your criteria? Asking for a friend "Well the criteria is different for every couple. For us the minimum requirements of a bull are been fit, dominant, vwe, respectful and the hardest is that takes the time to understand our dynamic and follow it on the day of the meet and prior to it. By the way don't mix bull with a single guy for a threesome, they are different things. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" By the way don't mix bull with a single guy for a threesome, they are different things." I understand i get that a bull is different and is there to take control and boss the situation as far as i know... but still wanted to get my point out... sorry if i overstepped | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think the swing scene is very different indeed from the cuckold side of the lifestyle. I'd guess half of my cuckold connections came from that initial meeting at a club... And further to that, a more intense meeting was arranged. The others have met me through word of mouth as a personal recommendation speaks volumes. Good luck with the two distinct journeys " We do agree that the swinging lifestyle is different from that side of things. But per example we don't think that a bull is only for cuckold couples. You also have hotwife couples and couple with other dynamics that may require a guy with the general characteristicsof a bull. But is where everything gets confusing because you have multiple term in the lifestyle but not many have clear definitions. We don't even like the term bull, but is the only term available. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think the swing scene is very different indeed from the cuckold side of the lifestyle. I'd guess half of my cuckold connections came from that initial meeting at a club... And further to that, a more intense meeting was arranged. The others have met me through word of mouth as a personal recommendation speaks volumes. Good luck with the two distinct journeys We do agree that the swinging lifestyle is different from that side of things. But per example we don't think that a bull is only for cuckold couples. You also have hotwife couples and couple with other dynamics that may require a guy with the general characteristicsof a bull. But is where everything gets confusing because you have multiple term in the lifestyle but not many have clear definitions. We don't even like the term bull, but is the only term available. " I hear you on that. I no longer refer to myself as a Bull and yes over the years the cuckold couples I've met have all be very different so It's always important to get to know each other to see what works for everyone. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Think the the word bull is such a turn off. Always makes me think of the bull character from a tv programme my parents used to watch called bullseye "Bully and presenter jim bowen | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think the swing scene is very different indeed from the cuckold side of the lifestyle. I'd guess half of my cuckold connections came from that initial meeting at a club... And further to that, a more intense meeting was arranged. The others have met me through word of mouth as a personal recommendation speaks volumes. Good luck with the two distinct journeys We do agree that the swinging lifestyle is different from that side of things. But per example we don't think that a bull is only for cuckold couples. You also have hotwife couples and couple with other dynamics that may require a guy with the general characteristicsof a bull. But is where everything gets confusing because you have multiple term in the lifestyle but not many have clear definitions. We don't even like the term bull, but is the only term available. I hear you on that. I no longer refer to myself as a Bull and yes over the years the cuckold couples I've met have all be very different so It's always important to get to know each other to see what works for everyone." You are absolutely bang on in both of your posts. We do have the ideal imagine of a bull physically but we are willing to compromise. Because like you said there isn't a perfect bull or couple. Thats why we said the most important thing was to understand our dynamic and be able to put in practice. That is the biggest challenge. Plus you can see everyone on the post assuming that we have a cuckolding dynamic when we never mention it at all in any of our posts. Our dynamic is not a cuckold one, but like we said before what we looking for matches the general description of a bull. Like many other couples... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"How do you go about helping them to understand your dynamic. What is it they are not understanding?" We have long chats about it and explait in detail and ask if they enjoy that sort of thing, so the pleasure can be mutual. Most of them just try to lie and trick us. We had a few that understood the dynamic and mental games. But couldn't perform in bed. Is a challenging thing and we are not really complaining just trying to get advice and see what other couples do! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Besides being one of a long and wide range of interests, there's nothing on your profile indicating a strong interest in cuckolding and explaining what kind of dynamic you'd want. Actually, some parts indicate the opposite - Andre...When it comes to the bedroom, he is mostly dominant in bed " - Threesomes ... hardly intereses us So it may be difficult that you will attract bulls with that dynamic. I fear that experienced bulls may not take you seriously and you only attract the pretenders and wannabes." Why cuckolding? Don't hotwife couples use bulls as well? Thats the problem with this side of the lifestyle one word can mean different things to different people. Someone should make a dictionary for fabs and the lifestyle. We woud pay for one! Yeah Andre is mostly dominant, key word, mostly. Just because you had a vegan meal for lunch you don't become a vegan. That sort of thing. So if we did said that Andre was submissive we would be attracting the wrong type of couples and single ladys as well. Plus we wouldn't be honest either. The threesomes part was an attempt to keep the waves of single guys away, but it didn't really work. So we may follow your advice and get it changed. We have described our dynamic on our profile before, but it had the opposite effect of what you saying. We attracted mostly wannabes and time wasters. So now we search for profiles that seem to match our requirements and explain or dynamic. But is not really effective either. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Besides being one of a long and wide range of interests, there's nothing on your profile indicating a strong interest in cuckolding and explaining what kind of dynamic you'd want. Actually, some parts indicate the opposite - Andre...When it comes to the bedroom, he is mostly dominant in bed " - Threesomes ... hardly intereses us So it may be difficult that you will attract bulls with that dynamic. I fear that experienced bulls may not take you seriously and you only attract the pretenders and wannabes. Why cuckolding? Don't hotwife couples use bulls as well? Thats the problem with this side of the lifestyle one word can mean different things to different people. Someone should make a dictionary for fabs and the lifestyle. We woud pay for one! Yeah Andre is mostly dominant, key word, mostly. Just because you had a vegan meal for lunch you don't become a vegan. That sort of thing. So if we did said that Andre was submissive we would be attracting the wrong type of couples and single ladys as well. Plus we wouldn't be honest either. The threesomes part was an attempt to keep the waves of single guys away, but it didn't really work. So we may follow your advice and get it changed. We have described our dynamic on our profile before, but it had the opposite effect of what you saying. We attracted mostly wannabes and time wasters. So now we search for profiles that seem to match our requirements and explain or dynamic. But is not really effective either." I seems to lead neatly back to the title of this thread and I'd say that Builds are indeed male versions of unicorns. Theres no shortage of single males but. That with the right mindset are rare. It's almost a case of they either get it or they don't. Sometimes it happens over time and sometimes it's just not how they are wired. With me it happened over time. In my early days of swinging my head space was to find a way to 'cope' with the male half being present. But these days I absolutely relish it and if I had to choose I prefer it if hubby is present to join in or watch. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yes extremely hard" perhaps the perfect description for a bull | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Besides being one of a long and wide range of interests, there's nothing on your profile indicating a strong interest in cuckolding and explaining what kind of dynamic you'd want. Actually, some parts indicate the opposite - Andre...When it comes to the bedroom, he is mostly dominant in bed " - Threesomes ... hardly intereses us So it may be difficult that you will attract bulls with that dynamic. I fear that experienced bulls may not take you seriously and you only attract the pretenders and wannabes. Why cuckolding? Don't hotwife couples use bulls as well? Thats the problem with this side of the lifestyle one word can mean different things to different people. Someone should make a dictionary for fabs and the lifestyle. We woud pay for one! Yeah Andre is mostly dominant, key word, mostly. Just because you had a vegan meal for lunch you don't become a vegan. That sort of thing. So if we did said that Andre was submissive we would be attracting the wrong type of couples and single ladys as well. Plus we wouldn't be honest either. The threesomes part was an attempt to keep the waves of single guys away, but it didn't really work. So we may follow your advice and get it changed. We have described our dynamic on our profile before, but it had the opposite effect of what you saying. We attracted mostly wannabes and time wasters. So now we search for profiles that seem to match our requirements and explain or dynamic. But is not really effective either." Good points OP and apologies for having immediately assumed it was some type of cuckolding dynamic. Now very curious to know what your dynamic could be  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For us the minimum requirements of a bull are been fit, dominant, vwe, respectful and the hardest is that takes the time to understand our dynamic and follow it on the day of the meet and prior to it." Yep, that's a unicorn. I'll generalise but I believe this to be true, you won't find many fit hung men under 35 on fabs who would be willing or capable to hold the space for you. It's just not what young studs are good at. I also wonder if perhaps there are language limitations when trying to communicate your desired dynamic to others. There's certainly some confusion in this thread - not that you gave to explain what your fantasy is to all of us of course, but maybe part of the issue if you can't quite put it into words. Maybe as an exercise see if you can write a piece describing your ideal. This will clear up your vision, and if the text comes out alright you could also choose to share it with someone you like to illustrate what you're after. Yes, terms are unofficial and not always clearcut, but apart from the straightest of vanilla we all need to check with prospective playmates to make sure we are on the same page. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Are Bulls like Unicorns?" No. Unicorns do exists. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For us the minimum requirements of a bull are been fit, dominant, vwe, respectful and the hardest is that takes the time to understand our dynamic and follow it on the day of the meet and prior to it. Yep, that's a unicorn. I'll generalise but I believe this to be true, you won't find many fit hung men under 35 on fabs who would be willing or capable to hold the space for you. It's just not what young studs are good at. I also wonder if perhaps there are language limitations when trying to communicate your desired dynamic to others. There's certainly some confusion in this thread - not that you gave to explain what your fantasy is to all of us of course, but maybe part of the issue if you can't quite put it into words. Maybe as an exercise see if you can write a piece describing your ideal. This will clear up your vision, and if the text comes out alright you could also choose to share it with someone you like to illustrate what you're after. Yes, terms are unofficial and not always clearcut, but apart from the straightest of vanilla we all need to check with prospective playmates to make sure we are on the same page." I think that's a really useful suggestion. Way back when I first got interested in the lifestyle I noticed that although there was no shortage of information out there from the hotwife or cuckolds perspective there was very little information out there giving any kind of insight or guidance from the Bulls perspective. It led to me blogging my thoughts after some of my adventures. Although not the intention at the time my blog ended up working as a very useful unofficial CV. Couples would approach me after stumbling across one or more of my blogs so by the time they approached me they already knew if I was the kind of "Bull" that was potentially a good match for them. That was my golden age. Things are a little different now though lol. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"no bi women are plentiful they just dont like the unicorn tag .. same for assertive confident men they are plentiful they just dont like the tag bull thats been cheapened by the army of wannabes and bullshitters so they quite rightly detatch themselves from the bull tag so they are not seen in the same way as the rest of the idiots .... finding a bull can be easy just look for assertive confident men who will become your bull rather than one who thinks hes a bull or was a bull with someone else that has no clue to what a bull is in the first place .... fab is full of bulls ...hitters "So very true although I'm using the term Bull for this forum I now mainly refer to myself as a very open-minded kinkster. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hello everyone, do you guys agree thats is really hard to find a single guy that actually meets the general criteria of a bull? Just trying to see if is just us that have been unlucky. Stay kinky
What's your criteria? Asking for a friend
Well the criteria is different for every couple.
For us the minimum requirements of a bull are been fit, dominant, vwe, respectful and the hardest is that takes the time to understand our dynamic and follow it on the day of the meet and prior to it.
By the way don't mix bull with a single guy for a threesome, they are different things."I would guess your “issue” is that you want someone who is both “dominant” and follows orders (ie your “dynamic”). That seems like an oxymoron to me. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hello everyone, do you guys agree thats is really hard to find a single guy that actually meets the general criteria of a bull? Just trying to see if is just us that have been unlucky. Stay kinky
What's your criteria? Asking for a friend
Well the criteria is different for every couple.
For us the minimum requirements of a bull are been fit, dominant, vwe, respectful and the hardest is that takes the time to understand our dynamic and follow it on the day of the meet and prior to it.
By the way don't mix bull with a single guy for a threesome, they are different things.
I would guess your “issue” is that you want someone who is both “dominant” and follows orders (ie your “dynamic”). That seems like an oxymoron to me."lol You've reminded me of one of the reasons why I prefer cuck over stag/vixen couples. It's not so much that I feel a "need" to humiliate or dominate. I'm just aware that I hate being TOLD what to do. I remember years ago fucking a guys wife in from of him. At one point he said "fuck my wife" and in my head I said...maybe I don't want to (notice that I said it in my head but caried on fucked. I did however have to blank him out because it would have killed the mood for me. Now don't get be wrong I am more than happy to be guided but a couples tastes and boundaries but anything that even hints at a demand in my head kills it for me. On the flip side I'm very much the same when I invite guys for threesomes with myself and a partner. Seing my own partner fucked is a massive turn on for me too but if I get the vibe they want to dominate I instantly end the arrangement. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
