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politeness and being kind

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always try to be polite even when some people don’t take no thanks as an answer.

Not all people behave the same way I’m afraid x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No I totally agree, and some see it as a sign of weakness.

I know who I am and what I am .

I don't need to be aggressive or rude to put my point across

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By *ymbunnyfitCouple
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Always polite to anyone taking time to message us xx

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

Manners make the the man

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion "

What makes you believe this?

I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.

Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same, the world could do with more kindness, far too many people suffering especially the last few years that even a little kindness can go a long way to help lift others moods and make the day that bit brighter

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Manners make the the man"
indeed or the lady or the couple

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Same, the world could do with more kindness, far too many people suffering especially the last few years that even a little kindness can go a long way to help lift others moods and make the day that bit brighter"
mate I'm totally with you on that.

I try and put light in everything and everyone I meet.

Why wouldn't you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously I don’t know how you interact with people and the level of politeness and manners you display, but at times there can be a very fine line between *excessive* politeness and simping etc.

Of course most rational people would agree that manners, politeness and respect are noble values to be admired. But sometimes if laid on a bit *too* thickly can appear insincere or false?

Maybe if sometimes you get “turned off” vibes from others from your politeness, it may be how this is perceived by them?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion

What makes you believe this?

I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.

Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything either"

ok I don't think I've ever found politeness awkward but we are all different with different experiences

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By *hmygodMan
over a year ago

Telford Shropshire

There’s no point in being rude or aggressive it get you know where !! And life’s to short enjoy yourself and have fun

Respect and politeness all the way .. it would just be nice if the ladies felt they could respond to a compliment without men making them uncomfortable or sending dick pics … we all have feelings

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By *unner6969Man
over a year ago

Bicester


"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion "

Yes, odd that it is frequently requested in profiles but rarely valued on here.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands


"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion "

How do you know your politeness and kindness puts people off? Personally we're only interested in polite people.

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By *unner6969Man
over a year ago

Bicester


"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion

What makes you believe this?

I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.

Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything eitherok I don't think I've ever found politeness awkward but we are all different with different experiences "

I tend to start messages regarding possible meets as follows:

“I’m polite, confident and comfortable with spontaneity (tonight would be good!) or a ‘no expectations’ social first, while ultimately looking to pamper tease and please you, of course!

I’m sensual, tactile and fun - experienced and happy with vanilla-ish, or to push boundaries if desired.”

Too polite?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion

What makes you believe this?

I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.

Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything eitherok I don't think I've ever found politeness awkward but we are all different with different experiences "

I have. There's a level of extreme politeness I find horribly awkward.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

[Removed by poster at 04/09/23 10:09:38]

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Politeness & kindness should be a constant and is far from a turn off.

Mrs

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By *wointo1Couple (MM)
over a year ago

Manchester

Manners is such an attractive trait x

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion

What makes you believe this?

I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.

Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything eitherok I don't think I've ever found politeness awkward but we are all different with different experiences

I have. There's a level of extreme politeness I find horribly awkward. "

Yes me too. Still not clear why OP think politeness is the turn off. I would assume that is not the reason. Rather that there is not a turn-on from other things?

Also I've found sometimes the people who makes the biggest deal about being polite and respectful can turn into the least polite and respectful people imaginable when something doesn't go as they wish. Not accusing you of this OP but a few experiences have made me wary.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion

How do you know your politeness and kindness puts people off? Personally we're only interested in polite people."

had people say you don't seem like a dom, because I've not been aggressive.

If your any kind of person you understand that you can do things more subtlety

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion

What makes you believe this?

I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.

Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything eitherok I don't think I've ever found politeness awkward but we are all different with different experiences

I tend to start messages regarding possible meets as follows:

“I’m polite, confident and comfortable with spontaneity (tonight would be good!) or a ‘no expectations’ social first, while ultimately looking to pamper tease and please you, of course!

I’m sensual, tactile and fun - experienced and happy with vanilla-ish, or to push boundaries if desired.”

Too polite?"

Not too polite but too general and most people would say something similar. Doesn't make you stand out from hundreds of others. Better to start by highlighting something in the profile or status of the person who are writing to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Politeness & kindness should be a constant and is far from a turn off.

Mrs

"

I'm pleased

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane

Well I would like to believe that I am polite...

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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Manners are definitely an attractive feature. Some people on Fab have impeccable manners. Others not so much. Like in real life.

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By *unner6969Man
over a year ago

Bicester


"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion

How do you know your politeness and kindness puts people off? Personally we're only interested in polite people.had people say you don't seem like a dom, because I've not been aggressive.

If your any kind of person you understand that you can do things more subtlety

"

I’ve been described as ‘sensually dominant’ and rather like that description. In the same way as I lead a team of people at work without having to shout at them, be rude, or abuse them.

Dominance has nothing to do with aggression. But some obviously like aggressive, I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Manners make the the man"

This

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"Manners are definitely an attractive feature. Some people on Fab have impeccable manners. Others not so much. Like in real life. "

Yes but if you send a generic cut and paste message even if polite and well-mannered, then it’s unlikely to get you very far.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

And I know the reason why some aren't especially women and couples as they get lots of mail and get sick of it I'm sure.

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By *t0600Man
over a year ago

elvedon

I’m always polite I feel it goes a long way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and no, I tend to return whatever energy they have

A lot of the time my politeness is taken as weaknesses

I start polite but they stop so I stop too, then I’m the problem, for mirroring them

Or the other is my politeness being taken as flirting, it’s just a smile, it’s not attraction

Politeness has a time and place yes but that goes two ways, I’ll be as polite as they are

But I’ll also stand up for myself if needed too, it’s a fine line to try ti walk but I suppose that’s just society these days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m always polite and respectful even if the answer I get back isn’t .

Unless we are asked not to be of course ??

????

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By *r imp miss minxCouple
over a year ago

Colchester

We like to think we’re always polite, respectful and well mannered. We were brought up not dragged up!! . We do get plenty of messages from profiles who could do with a course at charm school though.

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By *mmAloneMan
over a year ago

South Cheshire / Staffs

I totally agree I always aim to be polite and to speak in sentences - there are sooo many crude & ignorant people on here.

Gets solo guys a bad name.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion

How do you know your politeness and kindness puts people off? Personally we're only interested in polite people.had people say you don't seem like a dom, because I've not been aggressive.

If your any kind of person you understand that you can do things more subtlety

"

Probably they don't fully understand the different ways of being a dom

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

Depends what you mean by polite.

If you think it’s only polite for me to reply to your message, despite the fact that my profile says club meets only and your says you don’t do clubs, you’re the person being rude. Not me.

If your politeness makes other people feel uncomfortable, it’s not politeness. I need a man to let me hold the door open for him sometimes.

And if you need to tell me you think you’re polite, I am immediately suspicious, because good manners are things that I largely take for granted in my circle of friends. They are the bare minimum that I expect from people, and not in any way exceptional or unusual.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham


"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion

What makes you believe this?

I find excessive and unnecessary politeness awkward and uncomfortable.

Politeness isn't a weakness nor is kindness but it's not something that entitles anyone to anything eitherok I don't think I've ever found politeness awkward but we are all different with different experiences

I tend to start messages regarding possible meets as follows:

“I’m polite, confident and comfortable with spontaneity (tonight would be good!) or a ‘no expectations’ social first, while ultimately looking to pamper tease and please you, of course!

I’m sensual, tactile and fun - experienced and happy with vanilla-ish, or to push boundaries if desired.”

Too polite?"

It implies that you are too eager to please. In Other words simping

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"No I totally agree, and some see it as a sign of weakness.

I know who I am and what I am .

I don't need to be aggressive or rude to put my point across "

Are you saying people prefer aggressive and rude?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to find some people see my politeness and kindness as a turn off.

It's not a sign of being weak or soft in my opinion, it's just having good manners.

Would be interested in other people's opinion "

If it turns them off that's their problem mate.

There is no need to be anything other than respectful and polite. I have received horrendous messages on here and the ladies must get even worse.

Courtesy costs nothing and I'd sooner be a nice guy that turns someone off than a fucking wanker

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By *ingleman2020Man
over a year ago

UK

I think some people think because I’m respectful or polite I can’t be a deviant, I just think it’s a bit full on if my opening message is I want to bend you over and spank you! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think some people think because I’m respectful or polite I can’t be a deviant, I just think it’s a bit full on if my opening message is I want to bend you over and spank you! Lol

"

Oh I've had some that open with I'd love to lick your shitbox and fist you.. I mean seriously......

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By *mmAloneMan
over a year ago

South Cheshire / Staffs

Totally agree - always treat people as you would hope they would treat you back.

My personal hate is people who get all short and angry if you fail to reply to their messages immediately.

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