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Not getting a response to messages?!

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By *lla_east OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

Have you tried sending multiple follow up messages wanting an explanation?

Well, a polite PSA on the back of an increasing number of (borderline aggressive) dms recently regarding not responding to messages. (The irony of which is that most of the people sending these messages don’t meet the criteria specified on my profile anyway).

This is my opinion only. But consider it food for thought if nothing else.

When you walk through a town centre and get approached by salespeople, homeless people, or those wanting a charity donation… you may take time to say “no thank you” to some at first.

Imagine 10 more.

Imagine 100 more.

All whilst you’re on your way to work.

Add to that, that most of those you said “no thanks” to, then approach you again with a follow up question, or wanting elaboration, an explanation, or may even try to convince you.

Try and picture that for a moment.

Yeah, it probably would become “unmanageable”.

Just like you wouldn’t message a potential employer wanting an explanation for why you didn’t get a role, you are no more entitled to any further justification because you’re going by a pseudonym, because you thought your rizz was exceptional or that you really “know” you would give this person the time of their life by meeting you.

It’s real people on these profiles and we have lives as-well. This is not our jobs or our careers to run fab admin all day. We come here to enjoy ourselves. Not to explain our reasonings for not wanting to fuck; not you, Tom, Dick or Harry.

Me, nor any woman, nor any human in fact, owe anyone on this site anything.

No response IS a response.

So can those of you indulging in this behaviour, please just stop.

Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said !

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By *issyfaggotfayeTV/TS
over a year ago

Bolton

Downside of being absolutely gorgeous on a sex site, sadly some don't know when to accept the polite "no" x don't let them get to you x make this site work for you x

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By *d4funtimesMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

Ignore them, too gorgeous to get stressed by it.

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By *lla_east OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester


"Downside of being absolutely gorgeous on a sex site, sadly some don't know when to accept the polite "no" x don't let them get to you x make this site work for you x "

Thank you for your comment. I honestly don’t think it even always comes down to conventional “attractiveness”, that is subjective after all.

For me the frustration comes from the entitlement of a response.

I think I speak for a lot of people on here when I say those of us experience this, (likely yourself included) are actually being our most polite by not responding and outlining exactly why we are not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Entitlement and “challenge everything” culture unfortunately lives and breathes in some people!!

I think….why waste your time on the ones that don’t want you, when you can put more and more time into the ones that do!!

You can vent and stress all you want but I can guarantee it won’t stop….sometimes….people are arseholes

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By *issyfaggotfayeTV/TS
over a year ago

Bolton


"Downside of being absolutely gorgeous on a sex site, sadly some don't know when to accept the polite "no" x don't let them get to you x make this site work for you x

Thank you for your comment. I honestly don’t think it even always comes down to conventional “attractiveness”, that is subjective after all.

For me the frustration comes from the entitlement of a response.

I think I speak for a lot of people on here when I say those of us experience this, (likely yourself included) are actually being our most polite by not responding and outlining exactly why we are not interested. "

Exactly sweetie, a non reply is a response. I've got to the point I'd sooner just block, and not give a shit if anyone thinks I'm arrogant or stuck up or a bitch or too slutty or whatever x you don't know me so you can't label me x and carry on x

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

Fucking hell; I was only asking if you had received my first 30 messages...

Joking aside, I'm pretty sure blocking a user blocks any subsequent messages they have sent regardless whether you have read them or not. A polite "I'm sorry, you're not my type" style message in response to the first message received - followed by a block - at least acknowledges you have taken the time to read the message and there is no point in the sender trying to contact you any further. Not that I'm suggesting there's any obligation for any user to actually acknowledge any message they receive.

Personally I take a status of "Read" without reply to mean I need to wait for a reply (if any) before I send another message. "Read - Deleted" or "Unread - Deleted" means there's no interest unless I actually receive a reply stating otherwise.

That said, it's easy for me to say as I'm not a woman so I don't attract the 50:1 attention ratio that most women on here do. Fab do warn users if they send a message when a previously sent message hasn't been replied to; or at least they used to. Maybe an option to prevent non-friends doing so is required?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you tried sending multiple follow up messages wanting an explanation?

Well, a polite PSA on the back of an increasing number of (borderline aggressive) dms recently regarding not responding to messages. (The irony of which is that most of the people sending these messages don’t meet the criteria specified on my profile anyway).

This is my opinion only. But consider it food for thought if nothing else.

When you walk through a town centre and get approached by salespeople, homeless people, or those wanting a charity donation… you may take time to say “no thank you” to some at first.

Imagine 10 more.

Imagine 100 more.

All whilst you’re on your way to work.

Add to that, that most of those you said “no thanks” to, then approach you again with a follow up question, or wanting elaboration, an explanation, or may even try to convince you.

Try and picture that for a moment.

Yeah, it probably would become “unmanageable”.

Just like you wouldn’t message a potential employer wanting an explanation for why you didn’t get a role, you are no more entitled to any further justification because you’re going by a pseudonym, because you thought your rizz was exceptional or that you really “know” you would give this person the time of their life by meeting you.

It’s real people on these profiles and we have lives as-well. This is not our jobs or our careers to run fab admin all day. We come here to enjoy ourselves. Not to explain our reasonings for not wanting to fuck; not you, Tom, Dick or Harry.

Me, nor any woman, nor any human in fact, owe anyone on this site anything.

No response IS a response.

So can those of you indulging in this behaviour, please just stop.

Thanks.

"

The types you describe won't be reading this.

Agree with you though.

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By *lla_east OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester


"Have you tried sending multiple follow up messages wanting an explanation?

Well, a polite PSA on the back of an increasing number of (borderline aggressive) dms recently regarding not responding to messages. (The irony of which is that most of the people sending these messages don’t meet the criteria specified on my profile anyway).

This is my opinion only. But consider it food for thought if nothing else.

When you walk through a town centre and get approached by salespeople, homeless people, or those wanting a charity donation… you may take time to say “no thank you” to some at first.

Imagine 10 more.

Imagine 100 more.

All whilst you’re on your way to work.

Add to that, that most of those you said “no thanks” to, then approach you again with a follow up question, or wanting elaboration, an explanation, or may even try to convince you.

Try and picture that for a moment.

Yeah, it probably would become “unmanageable”.

Just like you wouldn’t message a potential employer wanting an explanation for why you didn’t get a role, you are no more entitled to any further justification because you’re going by a pseudonym, because you thought your rizz was exceptional or that you really “know” you would give this person the time of their life by meeting you.

It’s real people on these profiles and we have lives as-well. This is not our jobs or our careers to run fab admin all day. We come here to enjoy ourselves. Not to explain our reasonings for not wanting to fuck; not you, Tom, Dick or Harry.

Me, nor any woman, nor any human in fact, owe anyone on this site anything.

No response IS a response.

So can those of you indulging in this behaviour, please just stop.

Thanks.

The types you describe won't be reading this.

Agree with you though."

Some of them must be as I’ve had a fair few apologies

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

One thing I’ve started to notice is that I’m receiving a message off someone who has also sent me a message 3 or 4 weeks ago but both messages are exactly the same, but they don’t say anything that’s uniquely relevant to me, just a generic message. So that means the person is probably just sending out exactly the same message to people and has been sending out that same message for weeks, maybe months. How have they not got completely bored of doing that, what pleasure are they getting from copying and pasting a message over and over to different people for weeks on end…

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Have you tried sending multiple follow up messages wanting an explanation?

Well, a polite PSA on the back of an increasing number of (borderline aggressive) dms recently regarding not responding to messages. (The irony of which is that most of the people sending these messages don’t meet the criteria specified on my profile anyway).

This is my opinion only. But consider it food for thought if nothing else.

When you walk through a town centre and get approached by salespeople, homeless people, or those wanting a charity donation… you may take time to say “no thank you” to some at first.

Imagine 10 more.

Imagine 100 more.

All whilst you’re on your way to work.

Add to that, that most of those you said “no thanks” to, then approach you again with a follow up question, or wanting elaboration, an explanation, or may even try to convince you.

Try and picture that for a moment.

Yeah, it probably would become “unmanageable”.

Just like you wouldn’t message a potential employer wanting an explanation for why you didn’t get a role, you are no more entitled to any further justification because you’re going by a pseudonym, because you thought your rizz was exceptional or that you really “know” you would give this person the time of their life by meeting you.

It’s real people on these profiles and we have lives as-well. This is not our jobs or our careers to run fab admin all day. We come here to enjoy ourselves. Not to explain our reasonings for not wanting to fuck; not you, Tom, Dick or Harry.

Me, nor any woman, nor any human in fact, owe anyone on this site anything.

No response IS a response.

So can those of you indulging in this behaviour, please just stop.

Thanks.

"

It’s actually pretty standard procedure for an employer to give feed back to unsuccessful candidates and an unsuccessful candidate asking for feedback if it isn’t given isn’t an unreasonable request at all. I’m not positive about this but I have a feeling that it’s a legal requirement to provide feedback if it’s requested.

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London

If I message a woman and she's not interested i just move on.

I know Im not very pleasant to look at so I take rejection quite well as hard as it is

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

I get multiple messages from the same people over a week / month It’s weird they don’t just leave it. Desperation I guess is a thing for them

Then I get called names / rude / cunt / fag etc usually after about 6 messages

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

I always take a pointy stick when I’m town for just such eventualities

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair


"...We come here to enjoy ourselves. Not to explain our reasonings for not wanting to fuck; not you, Tom, Dick or Harry."

Indeed. Compounded by the fact that some are happy to send unsolicited photos of their vaginas without rhyme or reason. My inbox could do without that crass.


"...No response IS a response.

So can those of you indulging in this behaviour, please just stop.

Thanks. "

In addition to stop sending unwarranted Friend Requests, which women think is 'de rigueur' for instigating a conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Entitlement and “challenge everything” culture unfortunately lives and breathes in some people!!

I think….why waste your time on the ones that don’t want you, when you can put more and more time into the ones that do!!

You can vent and stress all you want but I can guarantee it won’t stop….sometimes….people are arseholes "

It can stop though, just block them all from messaging and do the searching and first contact to those youd be interested in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you tried sending multiple follow up messages wanting an explanation?

Well, a polite PSA on the back of an increasing number of (borderline aggressive) dms recently regarding not responding to messages. (The irony of which is that most of the people sending these messages don’t meet the criteria specified on my profile anyway).

This is my opinion only. But consider it food for thought if nothing else.

When you walk through a town centre and get approached by salespeople, homeless people, or those wanting a charity donation… you may take time to say “no thank you” to some at first.

Imagine 10 more.

Imagine 100 more.

All whilst you’re on your way to work.

Add to that, that most of those you said “no thanks” to, then approach you again with a follow up question, or wanting elaboration, an explanation, or may even try to convince you.

Try and picture that for a moment.

Yeah, it probably would become “unmanageable”.

Just like you wouldn’t message a potential employer wanting an explanation for why you didn’t get a role, you are no more entitled to any further justification because you’re going by a pseudonym, because you thought your rizz was exceptional or that you really “know” you would give this person the time of their life by meeting you.

It’s real people on these profiles and we have lives as-well. This is not our jobs or our careers to run fab admin all day. We come here to enjoy ourselves. Not to explain our reasonings for not wanting to fuck; not you, Tom, Dick or Harry.

Me, nor any woman, nor any human in fact, owe anyone on this site anything.

No response IS a response.

So can those of you indulging in this behaviour, please just stop.

Thanks.

It’s actually pretty standard procedure for an employer to give feed back to unsuccessful candidates and an unsuccessful candidate asking for feedback if it isn’t given isn’t an unreasonable request at all. I’m not positive about this but I have a feeling that it’s a legal requirement to provide feedback if it’s requested. "

It's not a legal requirement on a sex site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

DM for dick pics

I've added you all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I message a woman and she's not interested i just move on.

I know Im not very pleasant to look at so I take rejection quite well as hard as it is"

You're a good looking guy.

You probably don't fancy every woman on the planet though, some will fancy you and some won't. Doesn't mean you're not pleasant to look at.

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London


"If I message a woman and she's not interested i just move on.

I know Im not very pleasant to look at so I take rejection quite well as hard as it is

You're a good looking guy.

You probably don't fancy every woman on the planet though, some will fancy you and some won't. Doesn't mean you're not pleasant to look at. "
Thank you for your compliment much appreciated and yes you're right I am quite picky when it comes to women lol

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By *Cups32Woman
over a year ago

Colne

What's even more hilarious is when the first line on your profile is 'I don't respond to every message' and they still kick off over not getting a reply.

If they can't respect what's on my profile, are they going to respect me in the bedroom?

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By *wistedTooCouple
over a year ago

Frimley

Well said.

Also, amazing profile!!!

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By *llie AssMan
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

Well said.

As a single man, one of the best responses (apart from "yes, you are amazing") is when the person you have messaged simply deletes your message. Yes, it is disappointing, but it makes things absolutely clear. And who wants to have sex with someone who doesn't really want to have sex with them, anyway?!

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By *reampie_yourwifeMan
over a year ago

barnsley


"Well said.

As a single man, one of the best responses (apart from "yes, you are amazing") is when the person you have messaged simply deletes your message. Yes, it is disappointing, but it makes things absolutely clear. And who wants to have sex with someone who doesn't really want to have sex with them, anyway?! "

Couldn’t agree more , after a Yes, this is the best response , often wonder why people read and don’t reply , when a delete is an emphatic No.. I just accept it and move on

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair


"Well said.

As a single man, one of the best responses (apart from "yes, you are amazing") is when the person you have messaged simply deletes your message. Yes, it is disappointing, but it makes things absolutely clear. And who wants to have sex with someone who doesn't really want to have sex with them, anyway?! "

•

You are aware that some/most women who are inundated will perform a blanket bulk delete of messages. Therefore they probably didn't even glance at your message. I've only sent approximately 3 or 4 messages to women in the last 2½ years and I've been told more than once that I wasn't "assertive enough" and it wasn't a bad thing to message them for the 2nd time •many months• later.

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