FabSwingers.com forum: Anticipation greater than the act?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Recent tv documentary about addiction, expert on sex addiction said -" the pursuit and meeting of new partners will always be greater than the conquest itself for the sex addict."

A lot of recent forum postings talk about the disappointment of meetings.

Maybe we all have an itch that we shouldn't scratch ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a interesting topic. Is the fantasy better than the reality? It's sometimes that way for us, but certainly not always.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had that happen a lot. It's why I mostly play how I do.

I have however had a few fantasy acts that once made real were amazingly more exciting than I thought. X

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

it almost never happens to me .I think sex needs to be a mental game as well as physical but if the you let the mind game detract from what can be achived by physical interation one i guess will feel deflated . Its all very well dressing up, having whips and cuffs , playing dangeous or being fucked by a multitude of people within a sex session all of which i know can lead to an awsome mental high but for me if the magic phsical pleasure triggers are not also stimulated to the same degree in each party i would not be satisfied .

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By *allen MadonnaWoman
over a year ago

In my own little world

Well said Taoist

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By *hangovCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

Lately I've been thinking that the anticipation is greater than the reality.

"Heard melodies are sweet but those unheard are sweeter" type of thinking I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

interesting topic...in fact i posted a thread some time back called 'overdose' which related to this...i thought it best to take some time out and a few weeks down the line i m still pondering the question.

what i m really wondering is what itch is it we are scratching? Is this need for anticipation or even the need to experience out of the ordinary sexual activities the symptom of something not quite right in our lives? and therefore we will never be quite satisfied?

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By *hangovCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

Things I fear generally turn out not to nr as scary as I thought they'd be and things I look forward to turn out not to be as good as I had hoped. Is that the human condition?

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By *ancashire HotpotMan
over a year ago

burnley and larnaca

The ladies and couples I have met have never dissapointed me might be different from their perspective lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I wouldnt have said i was a sex addict but when i was younger the thrill of the chase was always the best bit and when i got them i wasnt interested anymore

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I just don't get my hopes up until I'm there to be honest... saves an awful lot of that sort of thing. You then build on what you have, not what you perceive out of all that nebulous chat and meandering through fantasy.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes some truth in that .... but it gets boring after to long ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just don't get my hopes up until I'm there to be honest... saves an awful lot of that sort of thing. You then build on what you have, not what you perceive out of all that nebulous chat and meandering through fantasy.

Wolf

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By *ohnandLucyCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Depends if you view swinging as a social activity involving some sex or a sexual activity involving some social.

We view it as a social activity first that quite often leads to sex but not always.... So being on the site isn't about being on the prowl - it's just a way to meet people.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

For me the build up is all part of the fun. If done right it can even be part of the foreplay - the kind that stimulates the mind so that when you do finally meet the sexual tension is already sparking.

The act itself is the culmination of that build up. All the flirting, chatting and erotic texting means you throw yourself into it more and it can be a truly fantastic experience for you both.

It's clubs where this isn't always the case. The more random nature of meets in a club can be a bit less exciting in the build up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Things I fear generally turn out not to nr as scary as I thought they'd be and things I look forward to turn out not to be as good as I had hoped. Is that the human condition?"

in terms of the OP and the fact that we are all on a "swinging site" its par for the course that we sometimes live in a fantasy world of hope and expectation

as for being scared, we all should be careful who meet and what we want from that - some its just confirming the likability of each other and others are the serial "hunters/Gatherers" who are enough to scare anyone

Finally i add that this trait is not exclusive to females us bi men suffer same whether from fems/couples or even other Bi men ...if that makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me the build up is all part of the fun. If done right it can even be part of the foreplay - the kind that stimulates the mind so that when you do finally meet the sexual tension is already sparking.

The act itself is the culmination of that build up. All the flirting, chatting and erotic texting means you throw yourself into it more and it can be a truly fantastic experience for you both.

It's clubs where this isn't always the case. The more random nature of meets in a club can be a bit less exciting in the build up. "

I agree

although I have not been to a club yet. Maybe thats why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone who has had their time wasted by someone who was keen for you to tell them what you were going to do, then never show up for the act can attest that this is true.

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