FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

People trying to overstep the rules during meets

Jump to newest
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit

Hey guys just curious so putting this out there and looking to see if anyone else has had it happen and how they have delt with it or would if it happened to them...

So you arrange a meet and from our experience it's the solo Males who always try to overstep and break rules set by the couple or female,

For instance you set limits or boundaries and then during the meet the male trys to go into another hole or touchs someone or something he's been told not to or they just don't listen like if you want it soft and gentle and they just go hard and rough (gettingvthemselves off) or you want it hard and fast but they continue opposite to your wishes??

Also another big one when told to use protection and they try it on without or try to remove the condom slyly mid meet with out consent??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We once had a guy come over to meet, we had length chats (on a different website) and what we wanted and expected was laid out very clear and understood and agreed, well when we finally got to meet and alittle bit into play he made us aware that some of the things we agreed he wasn't into, he basically just wanted what he wanted and thought thats the way its going to go, we it didn't go his way and he was shown the door and not very happy, called us all the names under the sun, he was younger and has put us off meeting men under 40ish.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A good connection over a period of time should assist in making sure everyones needs, mine and his, will be met while maintaining respect for each others donts.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit

Yes that is one of the things we was talking about like that just say yes to everything to get the meet then have no intention of actually listening they just think they going to come empty their balls and leave, leaving everyone else but them unsatisfied, and we not sure how we would react if someone became aggressive like that it probably wouldn't end well but that is a huge fear and risk with doing this sort of thing maybe clubs are the way forward?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tmostakiss1Man
over a year ago

DC


"Yes that is one of the things we was talking about like that just say yes to everything to get the meet then have no intention of actually listening they just think they going to come empty their balls and leave, leaving everyone else but them unsatisfied, and we not sure how we would react if someone became aggressive like that it probably wouldn't end well but that is a huge fear and risk with doing this sort of thing maybe clubs are the way forward?"

Shit situation to be in but yeah I’d imagine a club scene provides an extra layer of security for issues like this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit

Yes we understand this but what if they seem OK over messages over time and all is sunshine and rainbows then when time comes they are not doing what you spoke about and are just worrying about their needs? We imagine it's alot more dangerous and difficult for solo females like yourself, that's why I love having my partner there it's not even a cuck thing it's so I feel more safe and secure knowing he's there if it goes wrong you know

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yes it happens. People rely on you not being able to stand up for yourself and not wanting to make things uncomfortable.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit

Ye that's what we are thinking altho we have had a couple or meets and both have been ok in that regard a little over stepping here and there but male stepping in and corrected the situation and all went perfectly and was enjoyed by all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit

We imagine it can be a very awkward and scary experience for a solo female

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit

Apologies guys and girls we have been pressing the wrong reply button and it's just posted in feed rather than a reply to your messages oops x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"We imagine it can be a very awkward and scary experience for a solo female"

It is. On my own I learned to toughen up and fast.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes we understand this but what if they seem OK over messages over time and all is sunshine and rainbows then when time comes they are not doing what you spoke about and are just worrying about their needs? We imagine it's alot more dangerous and difficult for solo females like yourself, that's why I love having my partner there it's not even a cuck thing it's so I feel more safe and secure knowing he's there if it goes wrong you know"

I guess it's a chance you take. I mean it could also go horribly wrong for a single person meeting a couple. I know of one guy who had a very traumatic experience but then, he didnt really know the couple that well. Think I take too long to get to the point of meeting that it puts most off lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"We imagine it can be a very awkward and scary experience for a solo female

It is. On my own I learned to toughen up and fast."
that is a shame to hear you had to do that and change yourself and your nature in order to feel safe, but glad you have, shame you ain't closer we would love to meet a genuine female

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *opetop4UMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Taking a condom off slyly is classed as r*pe.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"Yes we understand this but what if they seem OK over messages over time and all is sunshine and rainbows then when time comes they are not doing what you spoke about and are just worrying about their needs? We imagine it's alot more dangerous and difficult for solo females like yourself, that's why I love having my partner there it's not even a cuck thing it's so I feel more safe and secure knowing he's there if it goes wrong you know

I guess it's a chance you take. I mean it could also go horribly wrong for a single person meeting a couple. I know of one guy who had a very traumatic experience but then, he didnt really know the couple that well. Think I take too long to get to the point of meeting that it puts most off lol"
hey it shouldn't matter how long it takes specially for a single female you have to make sure your 1000% comfortable and feel safe you know and if people don't understand that then that's there problem, and or really never thought about it from a single lads point or view a mean if he's straight and they try to make him do Bi stuff i can see we're it may go wrong

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"Taking a condom off slyly is classed as r*pe."

Yet you heard about it all the time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"We imagine it can be a very awkward and scary experience for a solo female

It is. On my own I learned to toughen up and fast. that is a shame to hear you had to do that and change yourself and your nature in order to feel safe, but glad you have, shame you ain't closer we would love to meet a genuine female "

Thanks. I'm not meeting at the moment so it's immaterial, but I appreciate it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *errykezmasCouple
over a year ago

Telford

We had a bit of an experience at a club, kez only wants to meet ladies, we chatted to a couple and agreed the ladies would go into a room to play we would wait outside and watch through the mirrors. The guy was almost banging the door down to get in as he decided he should be part of the experience, he started to pressure me to in a slightly aggressive way, pretty much saying it was wrong without us, even though that’s what was agreed.

We know all couples aren’t like that but wasn’t a good experience.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"We had a bit of an experience at a club, kez only wants to meet ladies, we chatted to a couple and agreed the ladies would go into a room to play we would wait outside and watch through the mirrors. The guy was almost banging the door down to get in as he decided he should be part of the experience, he started to pressure me to in a slightly aggressive way, pretty much saying it was wrong without us, even though that’s what was agreed.

We know all couples aren’t like that but wasn’t a good experience."

Clubs don't tend to take kindly to that sort of nonsense. I've seen people thrown out for less.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *errykezmasCouple
over a year ago

Telford


"We had a bit of an experience at a club, kez only wants to meet ladies, we chatted to a couple and agreed the ladies would go into a room to play we would wait outside and watch through the mirrors. The guy was almost banging the door down to get in as he decided he should be part of the experience, he started to pressure me to in a slightly aggressive way, pretty much saying it was wrong without us, even though that’s what was agreed.

We know all couples aren’t like that but wasn’t a good experience.

Clubs don't tend to take kindly to that sort of nonsense. I've seen people thrown out for less."

Fortunately I managed him as best I could, and kez wasn’t that aware it was happening at the time so had a fun experience.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *im494Man
over a year ago

Westhill


"Hey guys just curious so putting this out there and looking to see if anyone else has had it happen and how they have delt with it or would if it happened to them...

So you arrange a meet and from our experience it's the solo Males who always try to overstep and break rules set by the couple or female,

For instance you set limits or boundaries and then during the meet the male trys to go into another hole or touchs someone or something he's been told not to or they just don't listen like if you want it soft and gentle and they just go hard and rough (gettingvthemselves off) or you want it hard and fast but they continue opposite to your wishes??

Also another big one when told to use protection and they try it on without or try to remove the condom slyly mid meet with out consent??

"

This is the reason it's almost impossible for a single guy to find a couple on here. In my view it would me being invited into that side of a couples relationship and would have the upmost respect for their wishes and limits. Things can happen in the heat of passion but a gentle reminder would have me back on track! It's about fun for all involved not just one person, if the limits set are not what your looking move on until you find what your looking for. And as for removing a condom mid meet that's just beyond belief and utterly rude and disrespectful

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"We had a bit of an experience at a club, kez only wants to meet ladies, we chatted to a couple and agreed the ladies would go into a room to play we would wait outside and watch through the mirrors. The guy was almost banging the door down to get in as he decided he should be part of the experience, he started to pressure me to in a slightly aggressive way, pretty much saying it was wrong without us, even though that’s what was agreed.

We know all couples aren’t like that but wasn’t a good experience."

yes that's not good is it at all, I think experiences like that can ruin the whole swinging experience, hopefully it was still an enjoyable night and it didn't ruin it completely

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hiny-SinnersCouple
over a year ago

Vale of Glamorgan

We are nervous of meeting because of aggressive males and some couples. We have developed some regular males but would like to expand the group, but remain cautious.

We are super cautious around sexual health too, and to be honest if a guy pulled off a condom I think Hubby would castrate him LOL

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"Hey guys just curious so putting this out there and looking to see if anyone else has had it happen and how they have delt with it or would if it happened to them...

So you arrange a meet and from our experience it's the solo Males who always try to overstep and break rules set by the couple or female,

For instance you set limits or boundaries and then during the meet the male trys to go into another hole or touchs someone or something he's been told not to or they just don't listen like if you want it soft and gentle and they just go hard and rough (gettingvthemselves off) or you want it hard and fast but they continue opposite to your wishes??

Also another big one when told to use protection and they try it on without or try to remove the condom slyly mid meet with out consent??

This is the reason it's almost impossible for a single guy to find a couple on here. In my view it would me being invited into that side of a couples relationship and would have the upmost respect for their wishes and limits. Things can happen in the heat of passion but a gentle reminder would have me back on track! It's about fun for all involved not just one person, if the limits set are not what your looking move on until you find what your looking for. And as for removing a condom mid meet that's just beyond belief and utterly rude and disrespectful "

It really is but we have seen and know alot of people have had the experience of someone doing it and trying to go places they not allowed and also removing the condom when asked not to

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *omtom7Man
over a year ago

Tralee

Can't understand the mentality of people who do this. There is a strong community on here and if your an asshole, word gets around. It goes back to the idea that this is a hook up site, not a swingers site. Seriously, people have boundaries, respect them.

rant over

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"We are nervous of meeting because of aggressive males and some couples. We have developed some regular males but would like to expand the group, but remain cautious.

We are super cautious around sexual health too, and to be honest if a guy pulled off a condom I think Hubby would castrate him LOL "

Are OK that's good that you guys have had nothing but good experiences maybe it's a location thing aswell and age range or the Males maybe?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"Can't understand the mentality of people who do this. There is a strong community on here and if your an asshole, word gets around. It goes back to the idea that this is a hook up site, not a swingers site. Seriously, people have boundaries, respect them.

rant over "

Ye we see that aswell it's more or a hook up fancy a shag site rather then a swingers site sometimes which isn't the same the core things are totally different, hook ups are more for people to meet up get what they want and leave, we're as swinging we believe is more about the act of aex and building bonds and possibly even friendships and long time play with partners who we can have socials and chats with without judgement and even little naughty weekends away you know, maybe its just us and we're weird lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ctionman11Man
over a year ago

maldon

I am sure there are guys out there like that. Which then paints a bad picture of us genuine ones .

I always stick to rules no question .

I know it’s a swingers site and some people that means free for all , but it’s not.

Respect goes a long way .

All what I would say to people is read single men’s verifications.

Weeds the bad one out of the good ones .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London

Be careful when you folks wish for certain types of guys who are 6ft plus musclely and domineering, those are the type of guys you definately want to be careful off

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve actually had a few issues with the male partners of couples I’ve met. Trying to push boundaries that we’re diss used and agreed to before the meet. Disappointing really.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Be careful when you folks wish for certain types of guys who are 6ft plus musclely and domineering, those are the type of guys you definately want to be careful off"

That's not my experience at all. Height and muscles don't correlate with bad behaviour. Domineering, maybe, but it's not for sure.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *omtom7Man
over a year ago

Tralee

Napoleon syndrome, often the opposite. Sometimes it's not a big guy that's the problem.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London

No I said to be careful of them, Im not saying all guys over 6ft plus are bad

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"No I said to be careful of them, Im not saying all guys over 6ft plus are bad "

Nor did I. I said there was no correlation.

I don't think it's helpful to demonise people based on their characteristics like height, and in fact might be dangerous if people assume that other demographics are safer. Look out for everyone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

We had met this couple a few times and everything had gone well previously so maybe our guard had dropped a little. The guy tried to slip his condom off on the sly and I Steve spotted him. All play stopped and i kicked the couple out of our house real sharp. His wife contacted us a few days later to ask what had happened as i never said at the time i just said get dressed and go. I did not tell her why as we really liked her and just said ask your husband. she contacted us a few weeks later as we had spotted the profile on here had changed from a couple to a Fem. We did meet her again and she had thrown him out over it .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must admit I'm finding it a bit of a minefield! I've rejoined fab after a few years break. And I think I've forgotten my boundaries. I've been caught out by not enforcing them strongly enough, and doing things on socials I didn't feel comfortable with. So my lessons are....strong boundaries and don't be afraid to strongly enforce them. And just because the guy 'thinks' he's a gentleman, doesn't mean he is! And finally pay attention to those red flags, don't second guess them, act on them!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

I've certainly had people try and overstep the rules during meets. In every case, I've simply walked away or told them to leave.

Sometimes there has had to be a physical intervention, and I have no issue calling for assistance if necessary.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Is it perhaps something to do with how you go about choosing guys to meet?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I consider the person your meeting, needs to be treated with respect. You can still , with conversation discuss what boundaries are to be kept to. If you don't like the restrictions you don't meet. There are many a profile I have read and all seems good until you find details which exclude, my case it's normally age. But your going to be intimate with these people respect them and their wishes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

You are meeting the wrong people.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *awg-mo-thoinWoman
over a year ago

Belfast


"Be careful when you folks wish for certain types of guys who are 6ft plus musclely and domineering, those are the type of guys you definately want to be careful off"

What absolute shite. Men of all shapes and sizes can be pricks and suggesting people play a role in their own poor experiences by virtue of their attraction preferences (which you presumably don’t meet) is gross.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire


"We imagine it can be a very awkward and scary experience for a solo female"

For me it's about repetition.

Being clear that it's a social first. That there's no expectations therefore no one can get upset.

The single guys can push even on message and it's simply repeating again.

This is what I'm offering (a brew /chat)

If you don't like that then so long.

I've asked them if they were betting men...

Is it worth throwing away the chance of getting on, forming regular meetings just because you can't keep your pants on for the first social.

I don't need fab

I don't feel bad about showing someone the door if they arrive and decide they will try to rewrite the plan

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Single guys can be a issue not all, we do unfortunately tend to give them a wider berth as a couple and lean towards ladies on there terms, just works better for us and them also as meetings repeat themselves.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We imagine it can be a very awkward and scary experience for a solo female

For me it's about repetition.

Being clear that it's a social first. That there's no expectations therefore no one can get upset.

The single guys can push even on message and it's simply repeating again.

This is what I'm offering (a brew /chat)

If you don't like that then so long.

I've asked them if they were betting men...

Is it worth throwing away the chance of getting on, forming regular meetings just because you can't keep your pants on for the first social.

I don't need fab

I don't feel bad about showing someone the door if they arrive and decide they will try to rewrite the plan

"

Good advice!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Be careful when you folks wish for certain types of guys who are 6ft plus musclely and domineering, those are the type of guys you definately want to be careful off"

I cannot imagine anyone describing themselves as domineering. It's a far cry from being dominant.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Napoleon syndrome, often the opposite. Sometimes it's not a big guy that's the problem."

Yep, I've experienced this in real life. Like they have something to prove.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough


"We imagine it can be a very awkward and scary experience for a solo female

For me it's about repetition.

Being clear that it's a social first. That there's no expectations therefore no one can get upset.

The single guys can push even on message and it's simply repeating again.

This is what I'm offering (a brew /chat)

If you don't like that then so long.

I've asked them if they were betting men...

Is it worth throwing away the chance of getting on, forming regular meetings just because you can't keep your pants on for the first social.

I don't need fab

I don't feel bad about showing someone the door if they arrive and decide they will try to rewrite the plan

"

A social and in public.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"We had met this couple a few times and everything had gone well previously so maybe our guard had dropped a little. The guy tried to slip his condom off on the sly and I Steve spotted him. All play stopped and i kicked the couple out of our house real sharp. His wife contacted us a few days later to ask what had happened as i never said at the time i just said get dressed and go. I did not tell her why as we really liked her and just said ask your husband. she contacted us a few weeks later as we had spotted the profile on here had changed from a couple to a Fem. We did meet her again and she had thrown him out over it . "

That is one of our fears as I am not on birth control currently so the risk is there and obviously accidents can happen but trying to do it deliberately that's just out or order in our opinion, glad you guys got to enjoy her on her own after tho.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"I must admit I'm finding it a bit of a minefield! I've rejoined fab after a few years break. And I think I've forgotten my boundaries. I've been caught out by not enforcing them strongly enough, and doing things on socials I didn't feel comfortable with. So my lessons are....strong boundaries and don't be afraid to strongly enforce them. And just because the guy 'thinks' he's a gentleman, doesn't mean he is! And finally pay attention to those red flags, don't second guess them, act on them! "

Agreed 100% there is always signs and red flags however subtle and you should always go with your gut.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"Is it perhaps something to do with how you go about choosing guys to meet?"

Some people are really good at hiding there true intentions but I guess like we have said before maybe following your gut instincts and keeping an eye out for those red flags.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"You are meeting the wrong people. "

This was a board question we ain't speaking from personal experience we have only had minor slips we are asking about people who have taken it to far and crossed lines

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"Single guys can be a issue not all, we do unfortunately tend to give them a wider berth as a couple and lean towards ladies on there terms, just works better for us and them also as meetings repeat themselves. "

Yes we are looking to find similar regular meeting partners either solo females or couples, we ain't looking to meet the whole site like some that's there business no judgement here, but we just wanting to have fun and build those connections for long-term fun all round

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *esi_in_brusselsMan
over a year ago

Brussels, Belgium

Some people are just arrogant a**holes. It's not only on Fabs but also in real life. Just that in real life people don't have masks and can face consequences. As for me , I'm a polite and respectful person who goes per things discussed and asks if I want want to do something which we have not discussed. Don't want to ruin anyone's experience, all are here for fun which they should get without hurting others

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"We imagine it can be a very awkward and scary experience for a solo female

For me it's about repetition.

Being clear that it's a social first. That there's no expectations therefore no one can get upset.

The single guys can push even on message and it's simply repeating again.

This is what I'm offering (a brew /chat)

If you don't like that then so long.

I've asked them if they were betting men...

Is it worth throwing away the chance of getting on, forming regular meetings just because you can't keep your pants on for the first social.

I don't need fab

I don't feel bad about showing someone the door if they arrive and decide they will try to rewrite the plan

"

Yes. Being very clear about your boundaries gets rid of a lot of potential problems, because a lot of people will try to take the piss from the word 'coffee'. Coffee means coffee (or water or tea or a beer or...). It doesn't mean coffee and a kiss, a coffee and a grope, a coffee and oral...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've not had any issues with single guys, it's been couples if I'm honest.

Not for a long time though, my vetting process is much better now. I always do a social and I always listen to my gut. I give them the time to show me who they're. Someone always knows where I am, I also have a beautiful 75lb dog haha.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincess-PeachWoman
over a year ago

irrelevant


"Hey guys just curious so putting this out there and looking to see if anyone else has had it happen and how they have delt with it or would if it happened to them...

So you arrange a meet and from our experience it's the solo Males who always try to overstep and break rules set by the couple or female,

For instance you set limits or boundaries and then during the meet the male trys to go into another hole or touchs someone or something he's been told not to or they just don't listen like if you want it soft and gentle and they just go hard and rough (gettingvthemselves off) or you want it hard and fast but they continue opposite to your wishes??

Also another big one when told to use protection and they try it on without or try to remove the condom slyly mid meet with out consent??

"

There's a whole host of issues here and a very broad range. For example someone's being too gentle, I would be irritated and stop the play. Being rough is something I would want but I would be negotiating that first I don't think guys should do that without checking first.

Entering holes that they were told not to , that would have them chucked out if it were me get to fuck with that.

Taking a condom off slyly is called stealthing and is illegal again get the fuck away from me

Who are these creeps Jesus.

I can only speak for myself but clubs at least there are people around and eyes everywhere. Not foolproof but safer in my opinion. Or get to know people extremely well through socialising first

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Yes. Being very clear about your boundaries gets rid of a lot of potential problems, because a lot of people will try to take the piss from the word 'coffee'. Coffee means coffee (or water or tea or a beer or...). It doesn't mean coffee and a kiss, a coffee and a grope, a coffee and oral..."

Yep exactly! I guess I've been worried I'd kill the mood. But you guys make some valid points!

Thanks OP for putting this thread up, it's good advice for me too! X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"Hey guys just curious so putting this out there and looking to see if anyone else has had it happen and how they have delt with it or would if it happened to them...

So you arrange a meet and from our experience it's the solo Males who always try to overstep and break rules set by the couple or female,

For instance you set limits or boundaries and then during the meet the male trys to go into another hole or touchs someone or something he's been told not to or they just don't listen like if you want it soft and gentle and they just go hard and rough (gettingvthemselves off) or you want it hard and fast but they continue opposite to your wishes??

Also another big one when told to use protection and they try it on without or try to remove the condom slyly mid meet with out consent??

There's a whole host of issues here and a very broad range. For example someone's being too gentle, I would be irritated and stop the play. Being rough is something I would want but I would be negotiating that first I don't think guys should do that without checking first.

Entering holes that they were told not to , that would have them chucked out if it were me get to fuck with that.

Taking a condom off slyly is called stealthing and is illegal again get the fuck away from me

Who are these creeps Jesus.

I can only speak for myself but clubs at least there are people around and eyes everywhere. Not foolproof but safer in my opinion. Or get to know people extremely well through socialising first "

The issues and topics we posted are not all our experiences just some but also of people we know, we put this out there for insight and advise incase it happened to us or others and it gives a chance for others to share there experiences and also gives people who might be to shy to ask or don't realise they are being taken advantage and this thread may help them. If it helps anyone then it's worth it.

But as you mentioned about clubs we are leaning more that way but some have had bad experiences there also so it's a risk reward situation isn't it. Shame we can't all just play safe in a ideal world hey

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit


"

Yes. Being very clear about your boundaries gets rid of a lot of potential problems, because a lot of people will try to take the piss from the word 'coffee'. Coffee means coffee (or water or tea or a beer or...). It doesn't mean coffee and a kiss, a coffee and a grope, a coffee and oral...

Yep exactly! I guess I've been worried I'd kill the mood. But you guys make some valid points!

Thanks OP for putting this thread up, it's good advice for me too! X"

We are really glad you have found something helpful.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illsandValleysCouple
over a year ago

Wallasey / Malvern

I am quite lucky and I'm good at saying no.

I tell all my meets no condom no consent. You try it without and it's SA. Its that simple!

I also give 3 warnings. Ignore me and you're out the door.

It's got to be enjoyable for both.

Xxxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unner6969Man
over a year ago

Bicester

I find it quite frightening reading some of these accounts - behaving in such a manner is sexual assault, or even potentially r*pe.

It has nothing to do with swinging.

I constantly feel let down by my half of the human race. Sorry anyone has experienced anything like this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would always agree to what boundaries were set. Weather was from a single female or a couple. It’s respect.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoenix CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northallerton

We've had several meets that haven't gone to plan with guys not following the rules. PM if you are interested to know what happened in them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm starting to think that club meets are the way forward for me at least.

I've not had the good fortune to meet anyone yet so I've not got any verifications yet so I'm an unknown quantity for all of you single ladies and sexy couples.

But I'd never knowingly abuse that trust by ignoring your wants,needs,or boundaries.

I had heard about the idiots that mail you but didn't realise that some of them acted like morons on the meets too...

Best of luck to everyone, stay safe,and have fun.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asycouple1971Couple
over a year ago

midlands

Had that recently with a couple.

All agreed that it would be FF play and then sex with own partners but the male tried to push it so that everyone was swapping while the girls were playing with each other.

Horrible feeling.

Mr Easy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

One of the problems I'm experiencing a lot at present is women who contact me looking for FF play. (Sometimes single usually a MF couple). I always make it clear I'm seeking FF only.

After chatting/ social etc, suddenly they bring up subject of involving male partner / FWB etc in some aspect of the FF play.

Total waste of my time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

We've never had a problem with single guys that we've met privately, but have encountered the occasional problem in clubs. While we're happy to play with bi guys as long as they agree to play straight we have had a few that have still made a grab for B's cock. They apparently believe the myth (widely promoted on Fab) that everyone is a bit bi so it would be ok. For us play stops immediately and the mood is lost.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've never had a problem with single guys that we've met privately, but have encountered the occasional problem in clubs. While we're happy to play with bi guys as long as they agree to play straight we have had a few that have still made a grab for B's cock. They apparently believe the myth (widely promoted on Fab) that everyone is a bit bi so it would be ok. For us play stops immediately and the mood is lost."

Can I say first of all wow!!

You have found the fountain of youth because you really don't look 56 years old. And yeah I don't get why some bi guys think it's ok to try it on?

I'm straight and guys just don't float my boat no matter how good looking they are,but I am totally fine with being in close quarters in the nude with them as long as the lady involved wants that with both of us involved.

At any rate I do hope you both find some great people to enjoy your free time with that know how to respect your boundaries.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most common one we've experienced is with guys trying it on without a condom. One example, first two rounds he happily put protection on, 3rd round that night he went to fuck her without protection but I stopped him before he did and reminded him of the rules, then we carried on with our night.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan
over a year ago

London

Oh bugger! More single guys giving us a bad press! Personally the rules are sacrosanct - why ruin a fun time by making people feel uncomfortable. If everything is agreed upfront only a very foolish chap would deviate - unless on the VERY rare occasion asked specifically to do so. That said there are no shortage of idiots I suppose

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've never had a problem with single guys that we've met privately, but have encountered the occasional problem in clubs. While we're happy to play with bi guys as long as they agree to play straight we have had a few that have still made a grab for B's cock. They apparently believe the myth (widely promoted on Fab) that everyone is a bit bi so it would be ok. For us play stops immediately and the mood is lost.

Can I say first of all wow!!

You have found the fountain of youth because you really don't look 56 years old. And yeah I don't get why some bi guys think it's ok to try it on?

I'm straight and guys just don't float my boat no matter how good looking they are,but I am totally fine with being in close quarters in the nude with them as long as the lady involved wants that with both of us involved.

At any rate I do hope you both find some great people to enjoy your free time with that know how to respect your boundaries. "

Iv had this same situation happen with a couple, it's clear on my profile I am straight. Couples profile was also down as straight but within the first half hour it was clear they had other intentions! I just left and received dogs abuse whilst I got dressed.

It's why I prefer sober meets and rather not meet people under the influence of anything

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *umagain58Man
over a year ago

London

This is why we go to private parties where we know the host. We do invite new people but soon get found out if not following what people like - so it’s rare we get any problems. Abuse should not be tolerated

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

taunton somerset

people need to stand there ground i wont let anyone stary outside my boundaries if they do i tell them quite firmly no im blunt and to the point and if they try then the meet ends there and then...and if something was done to me that i never consented then watch out cause ill drag you all the way

one thing i learnt a long long time ago is to stand up and take no shit and i dont and i will everytime call it out ... far too many dont and its those that dont that allow others to get away with it ,,,

and again this is not a single guy problem in fact ive seen it more with couples than single men so its a people problem ... more people need to stand up for themselves and stop people from getting away with it

as for those who over promise just to get a fuck well the joke is really on them and will show just how sad and desperate some are ... its these guys whos names get exchanged during chats with other swinger friends in who to avoid

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

We've experienced some entitled behaviors from some and find it utterly disrespectful!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eaSlutsCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

If anyone was disrespectful enough to try and overstep pre-agreed boundaries without having a consent gaining conversation, they would be shown the door.

Sure, ask a question if you want to see if any thoughts had changed but if the response is no, then that's it.

C x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If anyone was disrespectful enough to try and overstep pre-agreed boundaries without having a consent gaining conversation, they would be shown the door.

Sure, ask a question if you want to see if any thoughts had changed but if the response is no, then that's it.

C x "

Exactly, after some play, or on any further meets you can respectfully ask about limits again, but you should never just take it upon yourself to change the boundaries.

Everyone should be in happy agreement, not just agreeing through peer pressure. This to me is a very important, if not the most important part of swinging.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilthyParamedicMan
over a year ago

Lancaster

Rules are rules.

I don't understand the mentality of those that overstep and ruin the potential for repeats. The mind boggles. I've no worries stopping playing and showing them the door.

It's why my FWB only plays when I am around.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlynaughty OP   Couple
over a year ago

gofuckyourselffabupieceofshit

We are glad this has opened up some dialogue for people to discuss there experiences and for those who are shy and unsure to read and maybe learn some tips and advise thanks for leaving your comments everyone x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asycouple1971Couple
over a year ago

midlands


"We've never had a problem with single guys that we've met privately, but have encountered the occasional problem in clubs. While we're happy to play with bi guys as long as they agree to play straight we have had a few that have still made a grab for B's cock. They apparently believe the myth (widely promoted on Fab) that everyone is a bit bi so it would be ok. For us play stops immediately and the mood is lost."

That is something that worries me if and when we meet bi guys.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they overstep the mark I make excuses and leave.

Gauge by questions in the conversation leading up to the meet.

Some people try their luck but not having it. As for sliding off condoms… that’s dispicable

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"We've never had a problem with single guys that we've met privately, but have encountered the occasional problem in clubs. While we're happy to play with bi guys as long as they agree to play straight we have had a few that have still made a grab for B's cock. They apparently believe the myth (widely promoted on Fab) that everyone is a bit bi so it would be ok. For us play stops immediately and the mood is lost.

That is something that worries me if and when we meet bi guys."

Fortunately 95% are decent and respectful. It's the loony 5% who don't believe there are any purely straight guys that spoil it for the rest. As a bi woman, I just don't get it. I am perfectly capable of playing straight and wouldn't want to spoil an enjoyable swinging session by forcing myself on an unreceptive woman.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top