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Pressure to perform

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So reading a lot of the forums and based on another post of being selfish does anyone feel the “pressure to perform”?

As a man there is pressure to get and maintain an erection and then not have a premature ejaculation.

There is also huge pressure on all genders and sexuality to look amazing.

In some ways if a woman was to orgasm after a few minutes or on first touch it would be seen as a positive for some but if the same happens for a man it can be seen as a negative, whereas surely it means he is sexually excited, isn’t that the point?

Do we put pressure on ourselves to perform to a perceived standard, mostly guided by porn where everybody is body perfect and lasts for ages.

Or do we just go back to foreplay, maybe have a break and start again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes there is pressure and verifications make it worse. Things for people to judge themselves against, possibly untrue or exaggerated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do some great thinking threads OP.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You do some great thinking threads OP. "

Thank you so much. My mind sometimes just “whirrs”

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There's huge pressure to perform from here and the media.

I'm past feeling or applying the sort of pressure that's applied sexually because I've been around long enough to know what's realistic. However when I read some of the stuff that's written on here and elsewhere I think I'm probably a rubbish meet

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

To answer your question just go back to foreplay would be my response.

Pressure has been applied to me to have orgasms on meets. It's unlikely to happen unless I know you very, very well. I won't fake because it would be insulting to all of us. I wish we could all just enjoy intimate, physical moments for what they are rather than what everyone else is telling us they ought to be

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To answer your question just go back to foreplay would be my response.

Pressure has been applied to me to have orgasms on meets. It's unlikely to happen unless I know you very, very well. I won't fake because it would be insulting to all of us. I wish we could all just enjoy intimate, physical moments for what they are rather than what everyone else is telling us they ought to be "

I find this really interesting and agree that some people seem to judge the “success” of a meeting on how many orgasms are achieved whereas for many there has to be a strong mental connection to achieve them not just a physical act

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By *ensualgent38Man
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

Pressure, nervousness are inevitable, aren’t they, particularly on a first meet.

Having sex with complete strangers is a complex thing. Everyone comes with there hopes and desires, and unless you’re just looking for plain passionless fucking, which I am definitely NOT, then being able to perform and enjoy a meet (go all concerned) is dependent on the vibe between everyone involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To answer your question just go back to foreplay would be my response.

Pressure has been applied to me to have orgasms on meets. It's unlikely to happen unless I know you very, very well. I won't fake because it would be insulting to all of us. I wish we could all just enjoy intimate, physical moments for what they are rather than what everyone else is telling us they ought to be "

I don't fake it and won't orgasm.

I do pay attention to their likes and dislikes. I make an effort.

Not bothered if I don't measure up to anyone else. I know I'm better than shagging a sack of spuds, but not as much fun as some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pressure, nervousness are inevitable, aren’t they, particularly on a first meet.

Having sex with complete strangers is a complex thing. Everyone comes with there hopes and desires, and unless you’re just looking for plain passionless fucking, which I am definitely NOT, then being able to perform and enjoy a meet (go all concerned) is dependent on the vibe between everyone involved."

Chemistry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love fab and the lifestyle, but I'm afraid this isn't dating. On a date you get to know the person. They bring so much more than just sex to the table.

For truly nsa what else is there but sex? Therefore the sexual act takes on more importance. For a woman, you want to meet a man because you want sex, (and generalising here), that includes the feeling with penetration. So you arrange a meet, with perhaps the expectation it's a one off! The guy can't 'perform'. Where do you go from there? You wanted a meet for something specific, and you don't get that!

Nsa can be pretty brutal, particularly for a man where nerves etc will have a physical impact! I think it is much more difficult than some men realise!

I do realise I'm making huge generalisations here, and that people play very differently. I'm just putting this point into the thread, no offence intended.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Definitely no offence taken and everybody does things slightly or totally differently or uses Fab for different reasons and that’s what makes it so great that you can find pretty much what you’re looking for somewhere

It is huge pressure for all involved, maybe more that expectations are meant and if the meeting is a one off and purely sexual even more so.

The issue can be that deemed failure on one meet can definitely effect you even wanting a next or on the next

It’s a very fine balancing act at times

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Definitely no offence taken and everybody does things slightly or totally differently or uses Fab for different reasons and that’s what makes it so great that you can find pretty much what you’re looking for somewhere

It is huge pressure for all involved, maybe more that expectations are meant and if the meeting is a one off and purely sexual even more so.

The issue can be that deemed failure on one meet can definitely effect you even wanting a next or on the next

It’s a very fine balancing act at times "

Expectations are met not meant

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think a lot of pressure would be removed if everyone was 100% honest about what they want and whether they could match what the person they hope to meet wants.

I'd never agree to meet a guy who says he's a repeater and has huge stamina because I simply couldn't and don't want that kind of thing. Also if someone asks to meet us but their profile says they really enjoy some of things we state we don't do we turn them down because we know we can't give what they want.

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By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

We like to think we don't pressure anyone, especially guys. If it happens, it happens. If not then can always find something else to do, chat or get toys out. As long as he gets something out of it we happy

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By *eed.a.signalMan
over a year ago

Local

Enjoying this post, my type a normal people here

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By *opetop4UMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

I find that there is a huge expectation to perform, and am nervous before a first meet, especially when they include in their profile, "that only men and not boys need apply!

Gone are the days of the 5-20 minute sex with my ex-wife!

After discovering Shibari, I have had first meets of 5-6 hours where I haven't unzipped my trousers and sometimes penetration doesn't occur until the third meet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally don't feel pressure to perform and if I cum quick I just point out that I'll be ready again in 10 minutes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is so much more than penetration so this doesn’t need to ge a big issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a sex site so there’s going to be pressure, as you’re meeting to have sex. It’s that simple. Pressure is the wrong word, expectation is better.

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