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Guys in Clubs

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By *urvyBi-84 OP   Man
over a year ago

Lancs

What is with men in clubs?

I’ve been to a few club nights and bi nights recently with a friend of mine where most of the men just seem to want to stand and wank. I can be playing with my friend and she’s inviting men to join in and they just stand there wanking. I’ll stop and invite them as well, still nothing.

Now I know people have different tastes, and I in particular may not be attractive to a lot of people, but y’all seem to find us attractive enough to be in our space jacking off, so what’s the matter? Surely you’re not paying the entrance fee just to have a wank when the offer of sex is right there.

It just seems like a lot of guys can talk like Billy Big Bollocks but as soon as they get into a club they become the wanking dead. It’s really frustrating and off-putting, and that’s before we both start to ask “Is it us? Is it something we said?”

Come on guys. If you’re going to follow us and have a wank over us at least join in the conversation and crack a few jokes, even if you don’t want to join in playing. Say something or do something, rather than just strumming away silently as if we’re a fucking clip on the Hub

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not being one who attends clubs, my view may be seen as irrelevant but...men are often told not to expect to have sex when they go to a club which is fair enough but conversely, you should not expect anyone to join you just because you ask. Choice is a two way thing. Also, the 'wanking dead' thing...funny at first but it's a bit old now.

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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire


"What is with men in clubs?

I’ve been to a few club nights and bi nights recently with a friend of mine where most of the men just seem to want to stand and wank. I can be playing with my friend and she’s inviting men to join in and they just stand there wanking. I’ll stop and invite them as well, still nothing.

Now I know people have different tastes, and I in particular may not be attractive to a lot of people, but y’all seem to find us attractive enough to be in our space jacking off, so what’s the matter? Surely you’re not paying the entrance fee just to have a wank when the offer of sex is right there.

It just seems like a lot of guys can talk like Billy Big Bollocks but as soon as they get into a club they become the wanking dead. It’s really frustrating and off-putting, and that’s before we both start to ask “Is it us? Is it something we said?”

Come on guys. If you’re going to follow us and have a wank over us at least join in the conversation and crack a few jokes, even if you don’t want to join in playing. Say something or do something, rather than just strumming away silently as if we’re a fucking clip on the Hub"

Know what you mean !

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By *urvyBi-84 OP   Man
over a year ago

Lancs


"Not being one who attends clubs, my view may be seen as irrelevant but...men are often told not to expect to have sex when they go to a club which is fair enough but conversely, you should not expect anyone to join you just because you ask. Choice is a two way thing. Also, the 'wanking dead' thing...funny at first but it's a bit old now."

I get that, and there is absolutely no expectation that they join in. Some acknowledgement such as a “no thank you” would be nice though, or perhaps not getting into our space and strumming away 3 inches from our faces.

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling


"What is with men in clubs?

I’ve been to a few club nights and bi nights recently with a friend of mine where most of the men just seem to want to stand and wank. I can be playing with my friend and she’s inviting men to join in and they just stand there wanking. I’ll stop and invite them as well, still nothing.

Now I know people have different tastes, and I in particular may not be attractive to a lot of people, but y’all seem to find us attractive enough to be in our space jacking off, so what’s the matter? Surely you’re not paying the entrance fee just to have a wank when the offer of sex is right there.

It just seems like a lot of guys can talk like Billy Big Bollocks but as soon as they get into a club they become the wanking dead. It’s really frustrating and off-putting, and that’s before we both start to ask “Is it us? Is it something we said?”

Come on guys. If you’re going to follow us and have a wank over us at least join in the conversation and crack a few jokes, even if you don’t want to join in playing. Say something or do something, rather than just strumming away silently as if we’re a fucking clip on the Hub"

Haha

Same as single guy going to a club should not expect guaranteed shag, any couple going there should not expect guaranteed single guy.

Make connection at the bar area, bit of banter and flirt will most probably give you what you are after.

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

Just to to add, when I am going to a club I only play with these who I engage with socially before moving to play area. I strongly believe all sound single guys are alike.

P.S. I am aware of dead wankers but what could you expect from them!?

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By *otbeefandonionsCouple
over a year ago

Bathgate

Maybe they don't want to play?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not being one who attends clubs, my view may be seen as irrelevant but...men are often told not to expect to have sex when they go to a club which is fair enough but conversely, you should not expect anyone to join you just because you ask. Choice is a two way thing. Also, the 'wanking dead' thing...funny at first but it's a bit old now.

I get that, and there is absolutely no expectation that they join in. Some acknowledgement such as a “no thank you” would be nice though, or perhaps not getting into our space and strumming away 3 inches from our faces."

To me, your post seems to say you were expecting them to join in but as I said, I'd not go to a club so what do I know...

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"Not being one who attends clubs, my view may be seen as irrelevant but...men are often told not to expect to have sex when they go to a club which is fair enough but conversely, you should not expect anyone to join you just because you ask. Choice is a two way thing. Also, the 'wanking dead' thing...funny at first but it's a bit old now.

I get that, and there is absolutely no expectation that they join in. Some acknowledgement such as a “no thank you” would be nice though, or perhaps not getting into our space and strumming away 3 inches from our faces."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to to add, when I am going to a club I only play with these who I engage with socially before moving to play area. I strongly believe all sound single guys are alike.

P.S. I am aware of dead wankers but what could you expect from them!?"

That seems a more acceptable approach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to go to a club in kings x regularly. The guys there were a mix of stand and watch/wank and just try and help themselves! As in I’d be stood there and suddenly there’s a finger up my ass. Would appreciate a hello first ffs. But clubs are an odd environment, and sone people behave in odd ways in them.

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By *ee f 1233Man
over a year ago

Crewe

Fuck me since when did men who go to clubs have to act how you say billy big bollocks

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By *urvyBi-84 OP   Man
over a year ago

Lancs

Interesting mix of replies.

I’ll reiterate, we do not have any expectation that they join in when asked, but if they aren’t going to join in when offered then actually saying “no thank you” would be appreciated rather than coming up to us and literally standing over us having a wank.

We do chat and engage with people too, and we have played with people in private rooms that way both together and separately. I’m talking about when we play openly and we invite others to join in. Some say no thank you and just watch. Fine. Some say nothing and crowd around wanking in our faces. Not fine. Sometimes we will have a breather to the side of a room and half a dozen guys will crowd around us wanking away in the hope we do something. OK, that indicates an interest so we invite them to play. No reply other than silent wanking. Again, no expectation, they don’t have to play with us, but a “no thank you” would be appreciated.

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By *otbeefandonionsCouple
over a year ago

Bathgate

If you want to play as a group, invite a few males in who you've socialised with and who are up for playing with you

Then shut the door

Surely??

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By *urvyBi-84 OP   Man
over a year ago

Lancs

I feel I need to clarify the point here.

The issue is not that we expect people to play with us, nor that we don’t socialise, nor that we should meet in private rooms. It’s not even people watching us in an open room and having a wank when they communicate with us. Sometimes we like open play and being watched respectfully can be exciting.

The issue is the men who just stand and stare and wank when we’re not doing anything, particularly at my friend. She can just sit there chatting and half a dozen men will be staring at her and jerking off. When she or we try to engage them socially or invite them to play, they don’t reply, they just stare and strum.

It’s also the men who get up in our space and wank in our faces when we are playing. It’s not unreasonable to take that as an expression of interest to join in, so often we’ll invite them to join in. The issue comes when they ignore us and don’t reply. No yes please, no no thank you, they just stand there in our space staring at us and wanking over us, then look put out when we ask them to back off.

Maybe the answer is to stick to private rooms. All we have to deal with then is guys banging on the door or trying to force the door open…

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"Just to to add, when I am going to a club I only play with these who I engage with socially before moving to play area. I strongly believe all sound single guys are alike.

P.S. I am aware of dead wankers but what could you expect from them!?"
I tend to be the same... I get guys moaning later that I played with some and not others

But simply it's because they failed to engage in conversation with me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

boyyyy

Its all change since we went to a couple of clubs, mainly????? No one stood in the club and wanked.

I asked Helen to open her legs as guys walked past, single guys, they go hard-ons but no wanking as i think it was not the done thing - even when a few kissed H all over they were hard-on and i guess ready to go in but they never wanked around

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By *otbeefandonionsCouple
over a year ago

Bathgate


"I feel I need to clarify the point here.

The issue is not that we expect people to play with us, nor that we don’t socialise, nor that we should meet in private rooms. It’s not even people watching us in an open room and having a wank when they communicate with us. Sometimes we like open play and being watched respectfully can be exciting.

The issue is the men who just stand and stare and wank when we’re not doing anything, particularly at my friend. She can just sit there chatting and half a dozen men will be staring at her and jerking off. When she or we try to engage them socially or invite them to play, they don’t reply, they just stare and strum.

It’s also the men who get up in our space and wank in our faces when we are playing. It’s not unreasonable to take that as an expression of interest to join in, so often we’ll invite them to join in. The issue comes when they ignore us and don’t reply. No yes please, no no thank you, they just stand there in our space staring at us and wanking over us, then look put out when we ask them to back off.

Maybe the answer is to stick to private rooms. All we have to deal with then is guys banging on the door or trying to force the door open…"

So what do you determine is watching respectfully?

Tbh it's maybe different where we are but we find the opposite problem, men trying to join in without asking. Luckily Mr and one of our regular male playmates are really on the ball at stopping unsolicited touching, but there have been times we've had to shut the door

Its not our preference as we like being watched but we've got to adapt to the situation

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

This didn’t happen in a club, it was in a sauna during a Tgirl and admirer day.

As it was a big place I was walking around looking at the facilities and next thing I know a guy was trying to push me into a room. No hello or some type of polite conversation just straight to the potential sexual assault. I managed to push him away, straight to the face and close to his eyes so he soon backed off, but the entitlement and cheek of it really affected me. So much so I’ve never been to a sauna since.

However this is a one off I have been to every type of club that’s accepting of the LGBTQI community and in general the guys are respectful and decent even when you say no.

I like bi nights at clubs I find that they’re friendly and more actual play happens on the night. Bi guys who attend in my experience anyway, tend to be a bit more interested in you as a person, not just someone who’ll get them off. But most of all I feel they’re safer and more fun which is why we go in the first place.

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By *urvyBi-84 OP   Man
over a year ago

Lancs


"I feel I need to clarify the point here.

The issue is not that we expect people to play with us, nor that we don’t socialise, nor that we should meet in private rooms. It’s not even people watching us in an open room and having a wank when they communicate with us. Sometimes we like open play and being watched respectfully can be exciting.

The issue is the men who just stand and stare and wank when we’re not doing anything, particularly at my friend. She can just sit there chatting and half a dozen men will be staring at her and jerking off. When she or we try to engage them socially or invite them to play, they don’t reply, they just stare and strum.

It’s also the men who get up in our space and wank in our faces when we are playing. It’s not unreasonable to take that as an expression of interest to join in, so often we’ll invite them to join in. The issue comes when they ignore us and don’t reply. No yes please, no no thank you, they just stand there in our space staring at us and wanking over us, then look put out when we ask them to back off.

Maybe the answer is to stick to private rooms. All we have to deal with then is guys banging on the door or trying to force the door open…

So what do you determine is watching respectfully?

Tbh it's maybe different where we are but we find the opposite problem, men trying to join in without asking. Luckily Mr and one of our regular male playmates are really on the ball at stopping unsolicited touching, but there have been times we've had to shut the door

Its not our preference as we like being watched but we've got to adapt to the situation "

Watching respectfully would be asking before getting close or trying to touch (we have had unsolicited touching as well, just not at the events I’m talking about) and simply replying if we try to engage them or get them to join in the banter.

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By *otbeefandonionsCouple
over a year ago

Bathgate


"I feel I need to clarify the point here.

The issue is not that we expect people to play with us, nor that we don’t socialise, nor that we should meet in private rooms. It’s not even people watching us in an open room and having a wank when they communicate with us. Sometimes we like open play and being watched respectfully can be exciting.

The issue is the men who just stand and stare and wank when we’re not doing anything, particularly at my friend. She can just sit there chatting and half a dozen men will be staring at her and jerking off. When she or we try to engage them socially or invite them to play, they don’t reply, they just stare and strum.

It’s also the men who get up in our space and wank in our faces when we are playing. It’s not unreasonable to take that as an expression of interest to join in, so often we’ll invite them to join in. The issue comes when they ignore us and don’t reply. No yes please, no no thank you, they just stand there in our space staring at us and wanking over us, then look put out when we ask them to back off.

Maybe the answer is to stick to private rooms. All we have to deal with then is guys banging on the door or trying to force the door open…

So what do you determine is watching respectfully?

Tbh it's maybe different where we are but we find the opposite problem, men trying to join in without asking. Luckily Mr and one of our regular male playmates are really on the ball at stopping unsolicited touching, but there have been times we've had to shut the door

Its not our preference as we like being watched but we've got to adapt to the situation

Watching respectfully would be asking before getting close or trying to touch (we have had unsolicited touching as well, just not at the events I’m talking about) and simply replying if we try to engage them or get them to join in the banter. "

But how close is close? At the door? In the room? 3 ft away? 2 ft away? On the bed?

If you are in a situation that's making you feel uncomfortable you have to sort it. If someone standing wanking and not engaging is making you uncomfortable, ask them to leave

If lots of single guys in a room watching and wanking is making you uncomfortable then ask them to leave

People aren't mind readers and your boundaries are going to be different to theirs

You've got to use your voice in this situation

Go to clubs with locked doors and voyeur windows.

Engage with people at the bar, discuss the rules and invite them into a room with a closed door

You need to be really proactive about how you want things to go rather than them going wrong, you doing nothing, being pissed off and complaining

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Most single guys (in fact most people) who go to club's don't look at the Forum so are unlikely to read your post. Many people who go to club's don't have good social skills unfortunately. Going into a private room is probably the better option (the only option we choose).

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By *xfordiceCouple
over a year ago

cromer


"Just to to add, when I am going to a club I only play with these who I engage with socially before moving to play area. I strongly believe all sound single guys are alike.

P.S. I am aware of dead wankers but what could you expect from them!?"

We don't have prescriptive rules like that. Some of the best fucks Mrs Ice has had have been with guys she has known for 30 seconds. But generally, finding a bit of a social connection does help!

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