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Identifying Bi Guys?

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By *rtist with muse OP   Couple
over a year ago

Eastbourne

We love playing at clubs and saunas but much prefer the company of Bi Guys (both in cples and singles) yet its so hard (pardon the pun) to outright ask if a guy is bi at a club - everyone is naked and looking for fun - but we have had some agressive (idiotic) responses in the past - it's easier with couples but still not easy. When everyone naked at a club IS THERE A WAY TO IDENTIFY BI GUYS? (back in the day wasn't it a single left ear ring or something lol)

Any other couples with similar issues?

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By *eaSlutsCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

There's no sure fire way other than simply asking unfortunately.

Sure, there will be those that take umbrage to being asked about their sexuality but that would say a whole lot more about them. We aren't looking for single men but, if the hypothetical arose that someone kicked off when we asked about their sexuality, we would just end it there. If you're a swinger and can't reasonably discuss sexuality/sexual preferences without getting mad, it's probably not the best lifestyle for you

C x

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By *rtist with muse OP   Couple
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"There's no sure fire way other than simply asking unfortunately.

Sure, there will be those that take umbrage to being asked about their sexuality but that would say a whole lot more about them. We aren't looking for single men but, if the hypothetical arose that someone kicked off when we asked about their sexuality, we would just end it there. If you're a swinger and can't reasonably discuss sexuality/sexual preferences without getting mad, it's probably not the best lifestyle for you

C x "

Fully agree - and we have now become more confident about making it clear we are looking for bi guys - with cples its easier as C normally brings it up chatting with the other girl - "we are both bi, are you?" sort of thing. Too many guys see it as some sort of issue

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By *rchitectMan
over a year ago

Dorchester


"We love playing at clubs and saunas but much prefer the company of Bi Guys (both in cples and singles) yet its so hard (pardon the pun) to outright ask if a guy is bi at a club - everyone is naked and looking for fun - but we have had some agressive (idiotic) responses in the past - it's easier with couples but still not easy. When everyone naked at a club IS THERE A WAY TO IDENTIFY BI GUYS? (back in the day wasn't it a single left ear ring or something lol)

Any other couples with similar issues?"
was going to reply but you have blocked all males ?

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By *oris618Man
over a year ago

Worksop

There are genuine bi guys around ,also on fabguys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we were asked we would honestly answer no problem at all... if we asked someone and they got iffy about being asked then they were not our type of people anyway so don't give a hoot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We love playing at clubs and saunas but much prefer the company of Bi Guys (both in cples and singles) yet its so hard (pardon the pun) to outright ask if a guy is bi at a club - everyone is naked and looking for fun - but we have had some agressive (idiotic) responses in the past - it's easier with couples but still not easy. When everyone naked at a club IS THERE A WAY TO IDENTIFY BI GUYS? (back in the day wasn't it a single left ear ring or something lol)

Any other couples with similar issues? was going to reply but you have blocked all males ?"

That doesn't stop a reply.. you can reply here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's no sure fire way other than simply asking unfortunately.

Sure, there will be those that take umbrage to being asked about their sexuality but that would say a whole lot more about them. We aren't looking for single men but, if the hypothetical arose that someone kicked off when we asked about their sexuality, we would just end it there. If you're a swinger and can't reasonably discuss sexuality/sexual preferences without getting mad, it's probably not the best lifestyle for you

C x

Fully agree - and we have now become more confident about making it clear we are looking for bi guys - with cples its easier as C normally brings it up chatting with the other girl - "we are both bi, are you?" sort of thing. Too many guys see it as some sort of issue "

Would t you just say same to guy…as in C saying we are both bi…what about you?…don’t see why someone would get iffy about that?

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By *actilenorfolkgentMan
over a year ago

Norwich


"We love playing at clubs and saunas but much prefer the company of Bi Guys (both in cples and singles) yet its so hard (pardon the pun) to outright ask if a guy is bi at a club - everyone is naked and looking for fun - but we have had some agressive (idiotic) responses in the past - it's easier with couples but still not easy. When everyone naked at a club IS THERE A WAY TO IDENTIFY BI GUYS? (back in the day wasn't it a single left ear ring or something lol)

Any other couples with similar issues? was going to reply but you have blocked all males ?

That doesn't stop a reply.. you can reply here

Like to find club where everyone's naked, would love the feeling of freedom

"

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

Isn't it common for clubs to have themed events so that everyone there knows that every one else should have the same orientation

I'm pretty sure of reading somewhere that guests at a club were invited to select the wrist band for their locker key to signal their preference. That could be done with towels too.

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By *okemanGoMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

Maybe clubs could offer coloured wristbands to indicate your preferences?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'd rather not have to, if you can't ask us your not for us.

Putting it on show can really cause a lot of problems in our opinion.... it could very well make it even more uncomfortable for people.

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

I just make it clear that I'm bi and see how they react and where the conversation goes, usually if they're straight it doesn't take them long to let me know.

Mr H

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By *ohn_1985Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Had a wife riding me one night in a club. The hubby kept edging his cock up nearer my head until I sucked it. Great experience which we all loved

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By *ure_heatMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I'll wave at you!

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By *aveonMan
over a year ago

Dartford

[Removed by poster at 07/07/23 23:04:44]

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By *aveonMan
over a year ago

Dartford

Love to be asked if I’m bi !

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford


"Love to be asked if I’m bi !"

Are you bi?

Mr H.

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By *heGigglersCouple
over a year ago

Stourbridge

Its a tricky one without actually asking. Even on Bi themed nights there will be straight singles or one half of a couple may be.

We always communicate our boundaries and likes with anyone before we play anyway and Bi play would be part of that conversation.

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By *i_guy37Man
over a year ago

Oxford

The wristband idea is a good one. I'd love to be able to indicate to others that I'm bi.

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By *aveonMan
over a year ago

Dartford


"Love to be asked if I’m bi !

Are you bi?

Mr H."

Certainly am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does someone count as being bi if they're on a swinging site and their female partner doesn't know?

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By *rs-Naughty_Mr-CuddlesCouple
over a year ago

Nr coleford

[Removed by poster at 08/07/23 08:48:40]

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Just goto clubs that are doing bi nights / days.

Many sauna places are gay/bi anyway

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"We love playing at clubs and saunas but much prefer the company of Bi Guys (both in cples and singles) yet its so hard (pardon the pun) to outright ask if a guy is bi at a club - everyone is naked and looking for fun - but we have had some agressive (idiotic) responses in the past - it's easier with couples but still not easy. When everyone naked at a club IS THERE A WAY TO IDENTIFY BI GUYS? (back in the day wasn't it a single left ear ring or something lol)

Any other couples with similar issues?"
. I don’t think it was ever a ear ring in the left ear as when I was growing up in the 80’s and 90’s the majority of guys had a earring in the left ear.The way I see it the only way to find out if a guy is bi in a sauna is to strike up a friendly conversation and try to drop the bi question in. I have had couples try this approach with me and when I told them I was straight they got their answer and carried on making conversation and been friendly before moving on.

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By *itnakedladMan
over a year ago

London Bridge

I’m bi

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford


"I’m bi"

He's bi ^

Mr H

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By *aturasqCouple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

Really don’t understand why people get offended at being asked if they are bi ????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just goto clubs that are doing bi nights / days.

Many sauna places are gay/bi anyway

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Really don’t understand why people get offended at being asked if they are bi ????"

Because it's a terrible terrible thing to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting thread and following as I haven’t been to a club yet and I’m interested in the general etiquette.

I think it must be the same for bi guys trying to find out if a couple is male bi.

I dunno. I think I would generally play straight unless it was communicated beforehand or obvious that that was the way things were going.

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

I thing 'outing' yourselves first is the easiest way. Cold opening a guy with 'are you bi?' can feel like a trap and being put on the spot.

There's also then the question of 'how bi am I?'. If he answers yes, how far is he going to be expected to go? If he just likes giving hand jobs, will he be laughed out the club...

So I'd say be open about your sexuality as a couple as well as what you're looking for from a guy who you think might be bi. 'hi! We're both bi and we were looking for a guy we can both suck off' would be a cracking opener

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I thing 'outing' yourselves first is the easiest way. Cold opening a guy with 'are you bi?' can feel like a trap and being put on the spot.

There's also then the question of 'how bi am I?'. If he answers yes, how far is he going to be expected to go? If he just likes giving hand jobs, will he be laughed out the club...

So I'd say be open about your sexuality as a couple as well as what you're looking for from a guy who you think might be bi. 'hi! We're both bi and we were looking for a guy we can both suck off' would be a cracking opener "

This. Probably stating what you are looking for as a couple will be the best way. I would say that in the situation where a couple is looking for a single man then it’s the couple that generally sets the ground rules and has more of an agenda. I’m not that experienced with swinging but I’m struggling to imagine a single guy starting a conversation with a couple with “yeah, so what I’m looking for and what I want you guys to do is…”.

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

I met a guy in a club recently that said he could always spot a bi guy (he was bi); I asked him how but he couldn't explain, just said that it was obvious [to him].

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By *erry bull1Man
over a year ago

doncaster

I’m bi and don’t mind being asked if I am bi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty of clubs have bi days

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

For us it’s conversational based, or read the mood if beyond that.

We were playing with a couple the other day and were all tangled on the bed. I’m (Mr) totally straight, zero attraction to M but non issue in close proximity. The other guy started rubbing my leg. I just moved it away, he got the message and that was that. It wasn’t till the next day when we saw their Fab profile that we learned he was Bi.

No problem from either side and we’re still chatting to arrange the next meeting.

You have to ask yourself what you’re doing in a club if you give an arsey response. Or worse when in close, naked proximity!

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By *ophieLovesBenCouple
over a year ago

Leicester


"We'd rather not have to, if you can't ask us your not for us.

Putting it on show can really cause a lot of problems in our opinion.... it could very well make it even more uncomfortable for people. "

Definitely, in clubs if we are getting on very well with a cpl we do both mention that we're Bi, never had any nasty or frightened responses, guess it's all in how confident you are. Also some straight Cpls are totally fine with things and ask if it's ok if we play straight

Everyone has to feel right for it.

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By *ophieLovesBenCouple
over a year ago

Leicester


"I thing 'outing' yourselves first is the easiest way. Cold opening a guy with 'are you bi?' can feel like a trap and being put on the spot.

There's also then the question of 'how bi am I?'. If he answers yes, how far is he going to be expected to go? If he just likes giving hand jobs, will he be laughed out the club...

So I'd say be open about your sexuality as a couple as well as what you're looking for from a guy who you think might be bi. 'hi! We're both bi and we were looking for a guy we can both suck off' would be a cracking opener "

yes that's a point, how Bi is Bi. For us, we're both fully Bi. Some guys it's liked being sucked but won't suck.

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By *heelz69Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"I thing 'outing' yourselves first is the easiest way. Cold opening a guy with 'are you bi?' can feel like a trap and being put on the spot.

There's also then the question of 'how bi am I?'. If he answers yes, how far is he going to be expected to go? If he just likes giving hand jobs, will he be laughed out the club...

So I'd say be open about your sexuality as a couple as well as what you're looking for from a guy who you think might be bi. 'hi! We're both bi and we were looking for a guy we can both suck off' would be a cracking opener

yes that's a point, how Bi is Bi. For us, we're both fully Bi. Some guys it's liked being sucked but won't suck. "

I want to suck for the 1st time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I thing 'outing' yourselves first is the easiest way. Cold opening a guy with 'are you bi?' can feel like a trap and being put on the spot.

There's also then the question of 'how bi am I?'. If he answers yes, how far is he going to be expected to go? If he just likes giving hand jobs, will he be laughed out the club...

So I'd say be open about your sexuality as a couple as well as what you're looking for from a guy who you think might be bi. 'hi! We're both bi and we were looking for a guy we can both suck off' would be a cracking opener

yes that's a point, how Bi is Bi. For us, we're both fully Bi. Some guys it's liked being sucked but won't suck. "

Pillow princesses

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By *anLondonMan
over a year ago

London

I have gone to straight nights in the past and checked on Fab if any bi couples are attending. This has led to very open conversations (and fun times) when I met them.

If I don't know in advance, I won't proactively bring it up.

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By *hoenixandflamesCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

Definitely a bit of a frustration sometimes given the Hotwife preferences we have…

Been a few “damn we wish we knew” meets.

But have encountered way too much bi guy phobia to chance it.

Unless it’s explicitly a bi event… it’s a play straight one

Only way might be to guess if the guy is looking at other guys cocks? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's no sure fire way other than simply asking unfortunately.

Sure, there will be those that take umbrage to being asked about their sexuality but that would say a whole lot more about them. We aren't looking for single men but, if the hypothetical arose that someone kicked off when we asked about their sexuality, we would just end it there. If you're a swinger and can't reasonably discuss sexuality/sexual preferences without getting mad, it's probably not the best lifestyle for you

C x "

This 100%.

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By *oft_SensualTV/TS
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Every man I seem to speak to is in the closet, so to speak...

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By *harlieD69Man
over a year ago

Blackpool


"Every man I seem to speak to is in the closet, so to speak..."

Not all are in the closest, most just don’t have to flaunt it in peoples faces

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they should wear a sign lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We love playing at clubs and saunas but much prefer the company of Bi Guys (both in cples and singles) yet its so hard (pardon the pun) to outright ask if a guy is bi at a club - everyone is naked and looking for fun - but we have had some agressive (idiotic) responses in the past - it's easier with couples but still not easy. When everyone naked at a club IS THERE A WAY TO IDENTIFY BI GUYS? (back in the day wasn't it a single left ear ring or something lol)

Any other couples with similar issues?"

They're the ones on their knees with their mouths open

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane

I usually sense them straight away...hubby always giggles and says that I have my gaydar on again

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

We tend to go to bi events anyway but like someone else said that doesn’t automatically mean everyone is bi.

We only play with bi people anyway so if we got chatting to him we would just ask I can’t see why someone asking your sexuality would offend anyway..

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By *unmatt888Man
over a year ago

Duns


"We tend to go to bi events anyway but like someone else said that doesn’t automatically mean everyone is bi."

But it should at least mean they’re unlikely to take offence if asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im bi, pretty recently discovered, but not notified on the profile. As people perception on this one is pretty funny tho!

In my understanding bi is when you willing to play with both sex same time…or same room. It doesn’t mean you’re gay.

M x

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

As others have mentioned, before any play (be that in or outside of clubs) we would want a proper grown up conversation about what we all want from it and what the boundaries are.

Yes, sometimes it feels a bit forced, a little silly and a bit awkward, but it needs to be discussed.

If during this the fella couldn't cover off the sexuality question/preference without getting offended then it's a red flag anyway and we'd probably move on.

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By *mallButHard72Man
over a year ago

London

I've been to bi events where the hostesses actively encourage guys to wank each other off. She would normally be surrounded by 3 or 4 guys who are rubbing their hands all over her. She then gently guides their hands onto someone elses cock. That sorts out the bi guys from the straight ones :D

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By *londebiguyMan
over a year ago

Southport


"We love playing at clubs and saunas but much prefer the company of Bi Guys (both in cples and singles) yet its so hard (pardon the pun) to outright ask if a guy is bi at a club - everyone is naked and looking for fun - but we have had some agressive (idiotic) responses in the past - it's easier with couples but still not easy. When everyone naked at a club IS THERE A WAY TO IDENTIFY BI GUYS? (back in the day wasn't it a single left ear ring or something lol)

Any other couples with similar issues?"

I am bi and would have no problem at all with anyone asking me.

I'd imagine anyone who is truly bi and genuine would be pretty much the same .

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By *aveonMan
over a year ago

Dartford


"I've been to bi events where the hostesses actively encourage guys to wank each other off. She would normally be surrounded by 3 or 4 guys who are rubbing their hands all over her. She then gently guides their hands onto someone elses cock. That sorts out the bi guys from the straight ones :D"

That’s the type of event I’d like !

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By *oosier_lookingat76Man
over a year ago

Durham


"There's no sure fire way other than simply asking unfortunately.

Sure, there will be those that take umbrage to being asked about their sexuality but that would say a whole lot more about them. We aren't looking for single men but, if the hypothetical arose that someone kicked off when we asked about their sexuality, we would just end it there. If you're a swinger and can't reasonably discuss sexuality/sexual preferences without getting mad, it's probably not the best lifestyle for you

C x "

Have to agree fully with this. If people can’t be open and honest about their sexuality in this lifestyle then they really should question themselves. If someone asked me I’d be honest and say I’m bi-curious but happy to play straight, which I am. I wouldn’t dream of being arsey about it.

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