FabSwingers.com forum: cyber swinging v real swinging

By *eznhannah OP Couple
over a year ago

leeds

been swinging for a long time now, but have to say as much as i like reading these forums and love "some" of the people who add to them, they bear absolutly no resemblence to the swinging world as we know it, dont know if it is because we mainly use clubs to find play mates,so have rarely had our time wasted, we dont go to socials, we rarely play with single guys, but i do find myself reading somtimes and thinking what on earth are you talking about, the kissing thread that comes up every 2 weeks is a great example, you normaly get a load who say no kissing no play etc, fair enough every one has a preference, but in all the years doing this it has seriously never been mentioned, which makes me wonder is there a different code for club meets to home meets, the time wasting thing, we are on a free site which gives anyone and everyone a glimpse in to a world they can only fantasise about, of course there will be timewasters and i bet it is really frustrating, but why not meet in a swingers club then if they dont turn up you can still have fun (i do realise btw that not everyone has easy access to clubs) it just seems theres about 15 different timewasting threads a week lately,

swinging for us is a simple and beautiful thing, we pick our club we have a build up, we go we get lucky, or somtimes we dont, sometimes we like the people enough to stay in touch, sometimes not, we dont need to email or msn potentials for weeks for them to block us, we just get stuck in so to speak, i just think sometimes reading the forums omg if i was new to this lifestyle i would be scared stiff,

anyway didnt mean this to sound like a rant or anything just wondered if we are the only people who play this way,

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I found that interesting, thanks.

Personally I don't fancy the cost of a hotel near a club and the single man's fees to get in and the petrol to get there too often - therefore I try to organise meets that fit in with what I'm doing generally.

Maybe I'll feel differently after I've actually been to a club, though

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By *eznhannah OP Couple
over a year ago

leeds

ah thank you mr sharp, i never actually thought about the cost as part of the equation, i suppose we are lucky as we have transport and at least 5 good clubs within a 45 min drive

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I started swinging as a single lady and found men often willing to take advantage of my offer of accomodation. But far less willing to offer to accomodate me, which was annoying to say the least.

Going to a club has revolutionised my life and attitude to men I swing with.

Offer me what I like or piss off has indeed become my mantra as I can just drive 40 miles to the club and 40 miles back and get guys with far more too offer and far less attitude hahaha

I do like a guy to come talk to me for a while but sometimes I just want a fuck and either way, the club scene suits me..

I do not want to make friends although its insedental if I do.

NSA means I dont have to ask nor concern myself with his ailing parents nor spoiled children he might have every other weekend and his bitch of an ex wife.....I've heard all of this on a swinging meet and I dont know them enough to care.

Clubs rule....gives me numeropus options.

Oh and yes, I have lots of friends there too..

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

Oh and I play with single males ALL of the time, and rarely get my time wasted, I have so many fuck friends in my fone book, I can usually find a stand in haha

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By *eznhannah OP Couple
over a year ago

leeds

know what you mean about friends lick we have loads of friends so frendship is nice but not an absolute must, because we started swinging in clubs, maybe itsjust we find swing sites and some of the baggage attatched a little unnecessary, with clubs we go, we look, we conquer lol(well hopefully)

ps thank you lick for understanding what this thread is about xx

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

"know what you mean about friends lick we have loads of friends so frendship is nice but not an absolute must, because we started swinging in clubs, maybe itsjust we find swing sites and some of the baggage attatched a little unnecessary, with clubs we go, we look, we conquer lol(well hopefully)

ps thank you lick for understanding what this thread is about xx"

I do understand.... and yes friends are good but an optional extra, not essential in fuck friends....NSA MEANS EXACTLY THAT.... u like em a bit..is that it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NSA means different things to different people tho to me I like to know that I will get on with the person I am meeting.

I don’t want to know their life story but do need to know that when we have a break I can chat without getting an argument started.

Shona

x x x

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I'm conserned if NSA means different things to different people.

If your a married copl on here, surely you expect exactly that.

I do like to talk before during and after too hahaha ask anyone on my extensive list of feedback.#

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooooo sweetie you know me better than that I wasnt having a go at you hun.

I have learned that many people think differently on here to me all I ask is that I am respected and not abused since thats all we all ask for isnt it??

I was chatting to a couple who said they need to know loads about someone before they will consider meeting, now to me thats a bit ott, but clearly it works for them.

Shona

x x x

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

"Ooooo sweetie you know me better than that I wasnt having a go at you hun.

I have learned that many people think differently on here to me all I ask is that I am respected and not abused since thats all we all ask for isnt it??

I was chatting to a couple who said they need to know loads about someone before they will consider meeting, now to me thats a bit ott, but clearly it works for them.

Shona

x x x "

I feel I know u well enough lovely lady and I know u were not having a go xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank god for that hun

after all this time chatting hun we should know each other shouldnt we??

To me NSA means turn up have fun and a laugh and leave. But on the site I used to be on many sat in the chatroom discussing their kids birthday parties and how many of them would be at said party!!! To me thats not NSA since I like to keep my hobby seperate from my kids.

Shona

x x x

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

"Thank god for that hun

after all this time chatting hun we should know each other shouldnt we??

Shona

x x x "

I agree with you love xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"been swinging for a long time now, but have to say as much as i like reading these forums and love "some" of the people who add to them, they bear absolutly no resemblence to the swinging world as we know it, dont know if it is because we mainly use clubs to find play mates,so have rarely had our time wasted, we dont go to socials, we rarely play with single guys, but i do find myself reading somtimes and thinking what on earth are you talking about, the kissing thread that comes up every 2 weeks is a great example, you normaly get a load who say no kissing no play etc, fair enough every one has a preference, but in all the years doing this it has seriously never been mentioned, which makes me wonder is there a different code for club meets to home meets, the time wasting thing, we are on a free site which gives anyone and everyone a glimpse in to a world they can only fantasise about, of course there will be timewasters and i bet it is really frustrating, but why not meet in a swingers club then if they dont turn up you can still have fun (i do realise btw that not everyone has easy access to clubs) it just seems theres about 15 different timewasting threads a week lately,

anyway didnt mean this to sound like a rant or anything just wondered if we are the only people who play this way,

Possibly the most level headed, sensible and inviting post on swinging I've read in here. Now I'm going to read the replies

And YES I agree with you the moaning , whinging threads really make me feel negative about the poster.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Clubs are also a better option for us,we're both busy with work and its sometimes easier to be more spontaneous and just decide there and then that we're going out that weekend,we don't have to worry about emailing anyone or trying to find people that suit us

We have some good friends that we can just phone and say where we're going and they can meet us if they're free,or we can go on our own and see what happens

It takes a huge amount of pressure off,I also found that all the cyber chat,flirting and msn stuff that I did when we first began swinging got really boring very quickly and the excitment of finding someone that we liked soon wore off as I seem to have a low boredom threshold lol

At the moment this works for us and saves all the angst that people seem to be having,I find that sometimes the forums can analyse every little detail to death and agree it must be scary reading for newbies

However if they're sensible then they will work out what works best for themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have some special friends we see regularly but in the main we use clubs to find our fun as it takes all the hassle out of it.

Like the OP we read some of the posts threads on here and think what a total contrast to the 9 years that we have been playing.

Not everyone of our meets has been memorable but we have never been messed about or stood up, perhaps our selection process is a little more robust than others and we can spot those who walk the walk as opposed to talk the talk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having not been to a club before I'm not really in a place to comment, but I can see why clubs suit some people better.

Just wanted to say that I don't think you can expect this website to only be a slice of people who go to clubs. A website like this is far more accessible to people who you may class as being more 'vanilla'... and remembering that going to clubs isn't the only way to swing these days, the clubs scene is just another option, so you will see a different spread here on the site.

This is just my thoughts as I can see it from my perspective.

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london

By Sharp Dressed Man:

I found that interesting, thanks.

Maybe I'll feel differently after I've actually been to a club, though

By _eznhannah:

ah thank you mr sharp, i never actually thought about the cost as part of the equation, i suppose we are lucky as we have transport and at least 5 good clubs within a 45 min drive"

To add to this as well, a lot of clubs restrict the single guys to certain nights, and on those nights there are often fewer women, because they avoid the the larger numbers of single males that seem to trail about after every woman that moves. Butting into conversations with little show of manners, crowding along at any hit of 'action', and should something happen in an open area, attempt to butt in without asking and turn it into a scrum!

I like clubs, but sometimes I feel pressurised by the actions of the 'desperate', let alone what its like for a women!

The Guys that go to the socials are generally a different breed, with different expectations.

For those reasons, I am often careful about recommending clubs to single guys. Oh and the cost as well!

Couples only nights are a world apart and I think they're a great place to meet as _eznhannah said in the OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great thread Gez and Hannah.

Absolutely agree with all you say on clubs and for me its the way to go. All the plus points and none of the hassles.

People are there and usually committed to having a good time. Not that anything is expected and people can choose how involved or not they get.

They solve all the problems for me and are a far cry from some of the stuff that people routinely complain about on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well... Read with interest and to a degree agree with all. If thats what works for YOU its great.. Really is.

For us.. Tried the clubs, was ok, been members of a few..

We still meet couples.. rarely get let down nor let down.. we don't spend months chatting on msn.. we share a mail, we talk on the phone.. we meet up.. If we all like well great.. Those we have got on with we remain good friends with and see often.. we share more than 'just' sex with if that makes sense.. not everyones cuppa maybe but thats 'ours' and fair to say the same as the ones we seem to meet up with....

Thats the beauty of the swinging world.. one word maybe, swinging but many meanings.

If all happy.. works great eh...

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By *ansue35Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire

anyway didnt mean this to sound like a rant or anything just wondered if we are the only people who play this way,

Thanks for posting this, as i agree with what you are saying. re clubs and even the odd time we had people asking for a met for them not to reply. Or to say yep met at this time and place only to get sorry can't make it.

Other thing that gets me is the posts that have been done on clubs, who love this and who love that. just seems like free advertising sometimes.

Ok i'll hide know LOL

cheers

Ian

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We go to clubs but we prefer home meets, we accept that 75% or more of the people that contact us are timewasters but that goes with the lifestyle, yes it bothers us but not enough to ruin our fun or love for what we do.

Different people see timewasting differently, obviously there is the "arrange a meet and not turn up or contact" which is probably the worst type of timewaster, but there are other ways of wasting peoples time.

Contacting people outside your criteria

Contacting people who have stated on profiles that they are not looking for what your offering

Contacting people then when you get a positive response never getting in touch again

Arranging a meeting and then cancelling for no good reason

None of it is that important in the "big picture" best to just accept it and nt let it get to you.

We could restrict meeting to clubs only, lord knows that's easy for us, we live 30 seconds from a club that's not only good but is also open 7 days/nights a week, but we choose not too, we prefer home meets for various reasons and therefore have to accept that we will come into contact with a lot of timewasters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cool to see it from a swingin club point of view!!

due to livin in the arse end of nowhere clubs is not an option for me not to mention cost etc. i understand that the "donald and jacquelines" probably think i should be burnt at the stake because im not what they class as a swinger but thats the great point in everyone bein unique some like home some like clubs some like the build up some like to get stuck straight in excuse the pun! a quick concensus amongst my non swingin friends " what do u think of when u think of swingin"? the majority answer was car keys in the fruitbowl!! asked about swingers clubs they drew a blank!!

again with everything in life it is each to their own and what does it for u xx

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

We have done the "arranged meets", the "swinging house parties", the "clubs", and the "socials". We continue to do all the above, and have different expectations of each.

We have friends we have met through swinging, some we have played with, some we havent.

Overall, from our experience, the highest likelyhood of "success" in terms of playing is at parties.

As for "NSA".... thats what we planned at first, but being social animals, we find that we only play with people we would like to have as friends, and friendship to us means more than just "shag and run".

Horses for courses, you get out what you put in I guess.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"We have done the "arranged meets", the "swinging house parties", the "clubs", and the "socials". We continue to do all the above, and have different expectations of each.

We have friends we have met through swinging, some we have played with, some we havent.

Overall, from our experience, the highest likelyhood of "success" in terms of playing is at parties.

Horses for courses, you get out what you put in I guess."

This so applies to us - thought Steve had written a thread!!!! It's all good fun and you do get out what you put in xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I started to "play" in Aug 09 as a single fem, and have learnt and widened my experience a lot.

I am not capable of being exclusive with anyone at present, as I have not found another Mr. Right.

Besides, variety is the spice of life, and I do not wish to put all my eggs in one basket!

All my encounters/meets so far had been M-F 1-1s.

I met and chatted to a gent on here one evening, and he mentioned about going to clubs etc., and I thought that would be fun. Hence I took the plunge and went to Barnsley in Oct 09.

Some of my colleagues sort of know I have more than one playmates, and when I mentioned I was going up to Barnsley for a party, they asked if it was the put your car keys in the fruit bowl kind

I went to my first club at A&G's near Barnsley and it was an eye opener - I like it!

I did not have to play with anyone if I did not want to, and I was allowed to watch others at it without feeling like a perv

I am definitely a voyeur!!!

And I got to play a little in a mirrored room, which is one of my fantasies!

I can't wait to visit another club, and am really looking forward to this party at Chams on Sun 06 Dec!

Perhaps I get the chance to have a MMF soon!

In short, although I like playing with my playmates on a 1-1 basis, I also enjoy going to clubs to meet other people, with no pressure from anyone to play.

Just need to pluck up the courage to go to one of the clubs closer to me down south!

Any takers?

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By *eznhannah OP Couple
over a year ago

leeds

got to say thanks for all who have contributed to this thread, (and the kind comments) it has been really interesting reading all your different takes on swinging, its replys like this which make me love this forum

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"Just need to pluck up the courage to go to one of the clubs "

So do we

There should be chaperones thread for novices like us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just need to pluck up the courage to go to one of the clubs

So do we

There should be chaperones thread for novices like us

Shame that you'll miss a good opportunity this weekend!

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"Shame that you'll miss a good opportunity this weekend!

Sad when work gets in the way of our social life

We're not clubers, far from it, however, we would have attended the event this weekend had work not got in the way

Ah well, some-thing's (like us)

are worth waiting for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first swinging experience was in a club, I loved it, I was like a kid in a sweet shop, couldn't get enough.

Then came parties, 3somes, 4somes, moresomes and gangbangs, did them all... now I prefer the social side of swinging, not that there are any strings attached..... I just prefer to be friendlier and know a little about people.

As was said previously, there's not a lot of clubs on offer here so it involves costs...traveling, hotels babysitters overnight etc. each time I play in a club.

So for me the smaller more intimate venues are the better option, house parties socials and hotels xx

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