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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone " I don’t get this? Who tells you you’re wrong? If you are a Domme with a Sub, the role of said sub is to do as the Domme says, not to speak out and say it’s wrong?? | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone I don’t get this? Who tells you you’re wrong? If you are a Domme with a Sub, the role of said sub is to do as the Domme says, not to speak out and say it’s wrong?? " Not really, the roles need a long discussion between all parties involved, assumptions tend to create problems | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone " That's sad to hear! Is this more down to playing with swingers who want a Domme rather than kinksters who seek a Domme? Not a judgement btw, just wondering. | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone I don’t get this? Who tells you you’re wrong? If you are a Domme with a Sub, the role of said sub is to do as the Domme says, not to speak out and say it’s wrong?? " ...So a sub should just accept what the Domme wants without any input or choice of their own? Hard pass. | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone I don’t get this? Who tells you you’re wrong? If you are a Domme with a Sub, the role of said sub is to do as the Domme says, not to speak out and say it’s wrong?? ...So a sub should just accept what the Domme wants without any input or choice of their own? Hard pass." Exactly this, subs aren’t mindless dolls, their wants and needs are my top priority. Communication is key And the ‘push till sub safe words’ types are huge red flags best avoided | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone That's sad to hear! Is this more down to playing with swingers who want a Domme rather than kinksters who seek a Domme? Not a judgement btw, just wondering. " More that it’s fetishising who I am as a person for their fantasy, not a nice feeling | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone That's sad to hear! Is this more down to playing with swingers who want a Domme rather than kinksters who seek a Domme? Not a judgement btw, just wondering. More that it’s fetishising who I am as a person for their fantasy, not a nice feeling " I'm sorry to hear that, proper shitty behaviour. I would hope that lifestyle kinksters would do better but I can bet there some out there who don't! | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone I don’t get this? Who tells you you’re wrong? If you are a Domme with a Sub, the role of said sub is to do as the Domme says, not to speak out and say it’s wrong?? ...So a sub should just accept what the Domme wants without any input or choice of their own? Hard pass. Exactly this, subs aren’t mindless dolls, their wants and needs are my top priority. Communication is key And the ‘push till sub safe words’ types are huge red flags best avoided " This is Domming from a distance. No safe word needed, I’m sure if a suitable candidate came along, I will tell them what I like and don’t like before entering the role of sub to them. It’s a bit of kinky fun. No one is getting used, I get what I want and I’m hoping the Domme gets what she wants out of the situation. | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone I don’t get this? Who tells you you’re wrong? If you are a Domme with a Sub, the role of said sub is to do as the Domme says, not to speak out and say it’s wrong?? ...So a sub should just accept what the Domme wants without any input or choice of their own? Hard pass. Exactly this, subs aren’t mindless dolls, their wants and needs are my top priority. Communication is key And the ‘push till sub safe words’ types are huge red flags best avoided This is Domming from a distance. No safe word needed, I’m sure if a suitable candidate came along, I will tell them what I like and don’t like before entering the role of sub to them. It’s a bit of kinky fun. No one is getting used, I get what I want and I’m hoping the Domme gets what she wants out of the situation." I reiterate the first line here, whatever we say, we’re wrong, then couples wonder why we steer clear of you Also safe words are always necessary, no matter what type of scene you’re imagining | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone That's sad to hear! Is this more down to playing with swingers who want a Domme rather than kinksters who seek a Domme? Not a judgement btw, just wondering. More that it’s fetishising who I am as a person for their fantasy, not a nice feeling I'm sorry to hear that, proper shitty behaviour. I would hope that lifestyle kinksters would do better but I can bet there some out there who don't! " I agree it’s extremely sad, it would be awesome to find some couples to scene with and enjoy but the last time I did, I ended up with the police doing a welfare check on me at 3am. Never again | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone That's sad to hear! Is this more down to playing with swingers who want a Domme rather than kinksters who seek a Domme? Not a judgement btw, just wondering. More that it’s fetishising who I am as a person for their fantasy, not a nice feeling I'm sorry to hear that, proper shitty behaviour. I would hope that lifestyle kinksters would do better but I can bet there some out there who don't! I agree it’s extremely sad, it would be awesome to find some couples to scene with and enjoy but the last time I did, I ended up with the police doing a welfare check on me at 3am. Never again " Jesus fucking christ!! So sorry to hear that  | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone That's sad to hear! Is this more down to playing with swingers who want a Domme rather than kinksters who seek a Domme? Not a judgement btw, just wondering. More that it’s fetishising who I am as a person for their fantasy, not a nice feeling I'm sorry to hear that, proper shitty behaviour. I would hope that lifestyle kinksters would do better but I can bet there some out there who don't! I agree it’s extremely sad, it would be awesome to find some couples to scene with and enjoy but the last time I did, I ended up with the police doing a welfare check on me at 3am. Never again Jesus fucking christ!! So sorry to hear that "It’s just why a scene isn’t something to take lightly, it’s more than just playing with people, it’s taking responsibility for them, it’s a huge task and a lot of work Sure it’s fun but fun is a very small portion of a scene, the majority is mental work Also safety is a huge matter, two people asking me to be alone and usually naked or dressed in some vulnerable outfit for a quick play when I don’t know them v well is a big ask of trust, it takes time to get to know a couple and most don’t want to take that time, it’s not ‘hot’ for them | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone That's sad to hear! Is this more down to playing with swingers who want a Domme rather than kinksters who seek a Domme? Not a judgement btw, just wondering. More that it’s fetishising who I am as a person for their fantasy, not a nice feeling I'm sorry to hear that, proper shitty behaviour. I would hope that lifestyle kinksters would do better but I can bet there some out there who don't! I agree it’s extremely sad, it would be awesome to find some couples to scene with and enjoy but the last time I did, I ended up with the police doing a welfare check on me at 3am. Never again Jesus fucking christ!! So sorry to hear that
It’s just why a scene isn’t something to take lightly, it’s more than just playing with people, it’s taking responsibility for them, it’s a huge task and a lot of work
Sure it’s fun but fun is a very small portion of a scene, the majority is mental work
Also safety is a huge matter, two people asking me to be alone and usually naked or dressed in some vulnerable outfit for a quick play when I don’t know them v well is a big ask of trust, it takes time to get to know a couple and most don’t want to take that time, it’s not ‘hot’ for them "Preaching to the converted, we have been on the scene for a long time, we have ran and hosted events and DM'ed for other events and some of the shitty play we have witnessed is mind blowing. We have had to stop people mid scene and tell them we won't let them continue and banned others after discovering CV's and dangerous play at other events. These have all been mainly people who have hooked up that night instead of the long standing partners because they haven't taken that time to communicate and fully understand each other, literally within 10 mins of meeting they were in the dungeon. Not saying all do that of course, we see plenty of play that is just that but it would be an experienced top and bottom who knew what to ask, what to say and how to define those limits. Well if people don't want to take that time and get to know and plan they won't be getting into our plans that's for sure! | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone That's sad to hear! Is this more down to playing with swingers who want a Domme rather than kinksters who seek a Domme? Not a judgement btw, just wondering. More that it’s fetishising who I am as a person for their fantasy, not a nice feeling I'm sorry to hear that, proper shitty behaviour. I would hope that lifestyle kinksters would do better but I can bet there some out there who don't! I agree it’s extremely sad, it would be awesome to find some couples to scene with and enjoy but the last time I did, I ended up with the police doing a welfare check on me at 3am. Never again Jesus fucking christ!! So sorry to hear that
It’s just why a scene isn’t something to take lightly, it’s more than just playing with people, it’s taking responsibility for them, it’s a huge task and a lot of work
Sure it’s fun but fun is a very small portion of a scene, the majority is mental work
Also safety is a huge matter, two people asking me to be alone and usually naked or dressed in some vulnerable outfit for a quick play when I don’t know them v well is a big ask of trust, it takes time to get to know a couple and most don’t want to take that time, it’s not ‘hot’ for them
Preaching to the converted, we have been on the scene for a long time, we have ran and hosted events and DM'ed for other events and some of the shitty play we have witnessed is mind blowing. We have had to stop people mid scene and tell them we won't let them continue and banned others after discovering CV's and dangerous play at other events. These have all been mainly people who have hooked up that night instead of the long standing partners because they haven't taken that time to communicate and fully understand each other, literally within 10 mins of meeting they were in the dungeon. Not saying all do that of course, we see plenty of play that is just that but it would be an experienced top and bottom who knew what to ask, what to say and how to define those limits.
Well if people don't want to take that time and get to know and plan they won't be getting into our plans that's for sure!"Exactly, it’s insane, it’s like those who try breath play without knowledge of what their doing, it’s extremely dangerous and they just don’t get it, they don’t get what they’re asking Domme women to take on, the risks are high and not worth it for a quickie in the slightest Especially the ‘no safe word’ crowd, I simply cannot get my head around it and honestly I don’t want to | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone That's sad to hear! Is this more down to playing with swingers who want a Domme rather than kinksters who seek a Domme? Not a judgement btw, just wondering. More that it’s fetishising who I am as a person for their fantasy, not a nice feeling I'm sorry to hear that, proper shitty behaviour. I would hope that lifestyle kinksters would do better but I can bet there some out there who don't! I agree it’s extremely sad, it would be awesome to find some couples to scene with and enjoy but the last time I did, I ended up with the police doing a welfare check on me at 3am. Never again Jesus fucking christ!! So sorry to hear that
It’s just why a scene isn’t something to take lightly, it’s more than just playing with people, it’s taking responsibility for them, it’s a huge task and a lot of work
Sure it’s fun but fun is a very small portion of a scene, the majority is mental work
Also safety is a huge matter, two people asking me to be alone and usually naked or dressed in some vulnerable outfit for a quick play when I don’t know them v well is a big ask of trust, it takes time to get to know a couple and most don’t want to take that time, it’s not ‘hot’ for them
Preaching to the converted, we have been on the scene for a long time, we have ran and hosted events and DM'ed for other events and some of the shitty play we have witnessed is mind blowing. We have had to stop people mid scene and tell them we won't let them continue and banned others after discovering CV's and dangerous play at other events. These have all been mainly people who have hooked up that night instead of the long standing partners because they haven't taken that time to communicate and fully understand each other, literally within 10 mins of meeting they were in the dungeon. Not saying all do that of course, we see plenty of play that is just that but it would be an experienced top and bottom who knew what to ask, what to say and how to define those limits.
Well if people don't want to take that time and get to know and plan they won't be getting into our plans that's for sure!
Exactly, it’s insane, it’s like those who try breath play without knowledge of what their doing, it’s extremely dangerous and they just don’t get it, they don’t get what they’re asking Domme women to take on, the risks are high and not worth it for a quickie in the slightest
Especially the ‘no safe word’ crowd, I simply cannot get my head around it and honestly I don’t want to "Ergh! Don't even get me started, you trying to play with them or kill them!! I would say this extends to Dom males too, too many times we are seen as a kink dispensers to eager new subs on the scene going through a play frenzy. I have always said no to these types, then they go play with someone else, then vanish from the scene because it all went wrong. Wonder why. I also find the no safe word types fall in to the frenzy crowd as well, along with the no limits lot. They soon learn, normally when you say cool I'll stick this knife in to your wrist and twist then, after all, no limits. | |||
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"Probably because whenever we speak we’re told that’s wrong tbh Personally I don’t go near couples for this alone That's sad to hear! Is this more down to playing with swingers who want a Domme rather than kinksters who seek a Domme? Not a judgement btw, just wondering. More that it’s fetishising who I am as a person for their fantasy, not a nice feeling I'm sorry to hear that, proper shitty behaviour. I would hope that lifestyle kinksters would do better but I can bet there some out there who don't! I agree it’s extremely sad, it would be awesome to find some couples to scene with and enjoy but the last time I did, I ended up with the police doing a welfare check on me at 3am. Never again Jesus fucking christ!! So sorry to hear that
It’s just why a scene isn’t something to take lightly, it’s more than just playing with people, it’s taking responsibility for them, it’s a huge task and a lot of work
Sure it’s fun but fun is a very small portion of a scene, the majority is mental work
Also safety is a huge matter, two people asking me to be alone and usually naked or dressed in some vulnerable outfit for a quick play when I don’t know them v well is a big ask of trust, it takes time to get to know a couple and most don’t want to take that time, it’s not ‘hot’ for them
Preaching to the converted, we have been on the scene for a long time, we have ran and hosted events and DM'ed for other events and some of the shitty play we have witnessed is mind blowing. We have had to stop people mid scene and tell them we won't let them continue and banned others after discovering CV's and dangerous play at other events. These have all been mainly people who have hooked up that night instead of the long standing partners because they haven't taken that time to communicate and fully understand each other, literally within 10 mins of meeting they were in the dungeon. Not saying all do that of course, we see plenty of play that is just that but it would be an experienced top and bottom who knew what to ask, what to say and how to define those limits.
Well if people don't want to take that time and get to know and plan they won't be getting into our plans that's for sure!
Exactly, it’s insane, it’s like those who try breath play without knowledge of what their doing, it’s extremely dangerous and they just don’t get it, they don’t get what they’re asking Domme women to take on, the risks are high and not worth it for a quickie in the slightest
Especially the ‘no safe word’ crowd, I simply cannot get my head around it and honestly I don’t want to
Ergh! Don't even get me started, you trying to play with them or kill them!!
I would say this extends to Dom males too, too many times we are seen as a kink dispensers to eager new subs on the scene going through a play frenzy. I have always said no to these types, then they go play with someone else, then vanish from the scene because it all went wrong. Wonder why. I also find the no safe word types fall in to the frenzy crowd as well, along with the no limits lot. They soon learn, normally when you say cool I'll stick this knife in to your wrist and twist then, after all, no limits. "Lol yes, I explain that’s a pillow princess and if they’re into that cool but it’s not my cuppa Ooo, I may borrow that, I usually offer a cactus down their urethra, oddly they suddenly have limits Genuinely I’m all my years of kink the stories I’ve heard are insane and show why limits are needed. There was this women I knew, she was sub and insisted no limits till she met a ‘Dom’ who took her to his house, forced cnc for days without food and had to be rescued. She said zero limits and he took her at her word, clearly he’s a douche but it explains the point of needing limits always | |||
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"Lol yes, I explain that’s a pillow princess and if they’re into that cool but it’s not my cuppa Ooo, I may borrow that, I usually offer a cactus down their urethra, oddly they suddenly have limits Genuinely I’m all my years of kink the stories I’ve heard are insane and show why limits are needed. There was this women I knew, she was sub and insisted no limits till she met a ‘Dom’ who took her to his house, forced cnc for days without food and had to be rescued. She said zero limits and he took her at her word, clearly he’s a douche but it explains the point of needing limits always " You can pinch mine if I can pinch the cactus! Love it! 
Shit!! Proper scary times! Sadly know of a similar story where she had wanted CNC as well, not as extreme as yours but when are they going to learn CNC still has limits and consent. Sadly it seems to have got even more prevalent since that damn film came out.
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"Lol yes, I explain that’s a pillow princess and if they’re into that cool but it’s not my cuppa Ooo, I may borrow that, I usually offer a cactus down their urethra, oddly they suddenly have limits Genuinely I’m all my years of kink the stories I’ve heard are insane and show why limits are needed. There was this women I knew, she was sub and insisted no limits till she met a ‘Dom’ who took her to his house, forced cnc for days without food and had to be rescued. She said zero limits and he took her at her word, clearly he’s a douche but it explains the point of needing limits always You can pinch mine if I can pinch the cactus! Love it!
Shit!! Proper scary times! Sadly know of a similar story where she had wanted CNC as well, not as extreme as yours but when are they going to learn CNC still has limits and consent. Sadly it seems to have got even more prevalent since that damn film came out.
"By all means go for it Yup, the 50 shaders do ruin it for the rest. That book was the worst thing to happen to the kink community. It’s the opposite of what it’s meant to show and so many take it as law | |||
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"Lol yes, I explain that’s a pillow princess and if they’re into that cool but it’s not my cuppa Ooo, I may borrow that, I usually offer a cactus down their urethra, oddly they suddenly have limits Genuinely I’m all my years of kink the stories I’ve heard are insane and show why limits are needed. There was this women I knew, she was sub and insisted no limits till she met a ‘Dom’ who took her to his house, forced cnc for days without food and had to be rescued. She said zero limits and he took her at her word, clearly he’s a douche but it explains the point of needing limits always You can pinch mine if I can pinch the cactus! Love it!
Shit!! Proper scary times! Sadly know of a similar story where she had wanted CNC as well, not as extreme as yours but when are they going to learn CNC still has limits and consent. Sadly it seems to have got even more prevalent since that damn film came out.
By all means go for it
Yup, the 50 shaders do ruin it for the rest. That book was the worst thing to happen to the kink community. It’s the opposite of what it’s meant to show and so many take it as law "God yes!! We noticed an influx at events with their fluffy handcuffs and love honey floggers haha! Got to say, hating the fuckers who ruined couples for you, from a purely selfish standpoint of course as you seem incredibly switched on. | |||
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"Lol yes, I explain that’s a pillow princess and if they’re into that cool but it’s not my cuppa Ooo, I may borrow that, I usually offer a cactus down their urethra, oddly they suddenly have limits Genuinely I’m all my years of kink the stories I’ve heard are insane and show why limits are needed. There was this women I knew, she was sub and insisted no limits till she met a ‘Dom’ who took her to his house, forced cnc for days without food and had to be rescued. She said zero limits and he took her at her word, clearly he’s a douche but it explains the point of needing limits always You can pinch mine if I can pinch the cactus! Love it!
Shit!! Proper scary times! Sadly know of a similar story where she had wanted CNC as well, not as extreme as yours but when are they going to learn CNC still has limits and consent. Sadly it seems to have got even more prevalent since that damn film came out.
By all means go for it
Yup, the 50 shaders do ruin it for the rest. That book was the worst thing to happen to the kink community. It’s the opposite of what it’s meant to show and so many take it as law
God yes!! We noticed an influx at events with their fluffy handcuffs and love honey floggers haha! Got to say, hating the fuckers who ruined couples for you, from a purely selfish standpoint of course as you seem incredibly switched on. "lol did you, I bet that was fun to keep safe Thanks, I was introduced to the kink scene in my teens and I’m almost 40 now, I just know what I find safe or not, most call me too picky or tough but I don’t understand how they want me to Domme them yet also if I’m a dominant person they back off and tell me I’m wrong I don’t know, people eh  | |||
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"Lol yes, I explain that’s a pillow princess and if they’re into that cool but it’s not my cuppa Ooo, I may borrow that, I usually offer a cactus down their urethra, oddly they suddenly have limits Genuinely I’m all my years of kink the stories I’ve heard are insane and show why limits are needed. There was this women I knew, she was sub and insisted no limits till she met a ‘Dom’ who took her to his house, forced cnc for days without food and had to be rescued. She said zero limits and he took her at her word, clearly he’s a douche but it explains the point of needing limits always You can pinch mine if I can pinch the cactus! Love it!
Shit!! Proper scary times! Sadly know of a similar story where she had wanted CNC as well, not as extreme as yours but when are they going to learn CNC still has limits and consent. Sadly it seems to have got even more prevalent since that damn film came out.
By all means go for it
Yup, the 50 shaders do ruin it for the rest. That book was the worst thing to happen to the kink community. It’s the opposite of what it’s meant to show and so many take it as law
God yes!! We noticed an influx at events with their fluffy handcuffs and love honey floggers haha! Got to say, hating the fuckers who ruined couples for you, from a purely selfish standpoint of course as you seem incredibly switched on.
lol did you, I bet that was fun to keep safe
Thanks, I was introduced to the kink scene in my teens and I’m almost 40 now, I just know what I find safe or not, most call me too picky or tough but I don’t understand how they want me to Domme them yet also if I’m a dominant person they back off and tell me I’m wrong
I don’t know, people eh "Actually sometimes wasn't all that bad with most, let's say if I hit my S the way they did she'd have ripped them a new one and emasculated them for been a pussy but some were getting close to kidneys or as mentioned the shit breath play was the biggest risk.
We don't believe in been too picky either, it has to be right when your doing this stuff otherwise we're as bad as the rest. Does sound like you got the shitty end of the stick with those near you but fingers crossed some one restored your faith at some point | |||
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Too busy with my sub at the moment.