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Take me on - Weird vetting process?

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By *otSoPetiteMort OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

Perhaps not as weird as I think it is, but as a female meeting alone, I realised that part of my judging meets includes whether I think I stand a good chance of taking them on physically if things went wrong or they turned out to be a complete psycho. XD

Hubby pointed it out when I voiced my concerns on meeting a 6'4 Guy I had been chatting to who was built like a brick shit house when he mentioned he used to be a Boxer, lol. And apparently I also brought it up with the last guy we met together.

Have you discovered any subconscious vetting criteria when deciding on a potential meet? x

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By *t0600Man
over a year ago

elvedon

I mean how bad has it got that you have to take things like that into account . Shocking really isn’t it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need to keep Dora safe and although I’m not a big guy I'm pretty handy.

I won’t arrange a group thing for her though with guys that know each other before we introduce them.

Also she doesn’t actually like huge cocks.

No really!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps not as weird as I think it is, but as a female meeting alone, I realised that part of my judging meets includes whether I think I stand a good chance of taking them on physically if things went wrong or they turned out to be a complete psycho. XD

Hubby pointed it out when I voiced my concerns on meeting a 6'4 Guy I had been chatting to who was built like a brick shit house when he mentioned he used to be a Boxer, lol. And apparently I also brought it up with the last guy we met together.

Have you discovered any subconscious vetting criteria when deciding on a potential meet? x"

Nothing weird about this. I have the same concern (amplified in its own way by some experiences previously).

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By *inbad1976Man
over a year ago

Bristol

For obvious and sad reasons I think women have, and have for a long time had to make plan B’s and escape plans etc, in society in general as well as within the scene.

As a bloke, who is shit at fights and has no interest, I do always have a bit of a think about how to bail out of situations, but accept that I fall within a privileged group that does not have this as a default.

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

Such an important topic. Also key in some non Fab worlds ... it all about authenticity, values, approach, reliability and candour ... x Anne & George

ps love you profile original poster, very enticing ...

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

This is why I never do spontaneous meets, I like to chat first and then the 1st meet will always be a social in a public place just to confirm my thoughts about them x

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By *arklong88Man
over a year ago

portslade

I think men meeting couples also think similar..and also as the whole thing can be quite secretive it's not as easy telling friends where you are..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never ever done spontaneous meets, and I regard those who seek them with suspicion.

I only meet people who are verified by a meet, not fool proof but that's something I look at.

I tend to chat for a long while before a meet so, get a general feel for them.

It is sad that woman have to behave like that.

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames


"This is why I never do spontaneous meets, I like to chat first and then the 1st meet will always be a social in a public place just to confirm my thoughts about them x"
we use clubs as a good first start .. it is a public place of sorts and there is security/safety guardrails ... also they can find someone else if I (rare) say thanks, but no thanks ... x Anne

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By *enelope2UWoman
over a year ago

Fife

If there is no keyboard chemistry I don't care about the physical appearance.

I don't even look at profile pictures until I feel he's worth logging in just to chat then eventually WhatsApp. Only at that stage do I look at his picture.

Rare unicorn, but I don't care about superficial traits.

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By *enelope2UWoman
over a year ago

Fife


"This is why I never do spontaneous meets, I like to chat first and then the 1st meet will always be a social in a public place just to confirm my thoughts about them x"

Exactly this.. plus if at any point he starts thinking with his dick Vs his brain, or becomes pushy, argumentative it's an instant block.

I have every interest in my profile pictures to support the interest and verifications so what else can he bring to conversations.

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By *otSoPetiteMort OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"I mean how bad has it got that you have to take things like that into account . Shocking really isn’t it "

I did think it was a trauma thing from a past Boyfriend who was abusive, but, honestly, I think it's just a natural part of life (probably more so for Women - we are constantly assessing the situation if we're in an enclosed space with a stranger for example )and I just can't seem to switch it off.

In reality, it is a risk we all take on a daily basis, even when out and about.

Apparently I'm constantly sizing people up for a fight, which I can't work out if I find funny or sad but I think it's a good tactic for self-preservation.

Doesn't mean I PLAN to fight them, but I would like to know I stand a good chance behind closed doors if the pull a Jekyll and Hyde. x

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By *eily2020TV/TS
over a year ago

Manchester

I always hide my keys and my phone somewhere so they can't if something were to go wrong and they tried to stop me getting help.

I won't meet men who let on they've been drinking x

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

Some feature of some PTSD ... George was stabbed in the job years ago and he is now often hyper vigilant .. also ready to go full on in need be (but discipline kicks in) ... x Anne

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By *otSoPetiteMort OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"I need to keep Dora safe and although I’m not a big guy I'm pretty handy.

I won’t arrange a group thing for her though with guys that know each other before we introduce them.

Also she doesn’t actually like huge cocks.

No really!"

That is more than understandable, especially when you know you're going to be outnumbered. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An example of my vetting process.

Incoming message.

"Hi. Woul..."

"YES!"

If that ever happened of course.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"I think men meeting couples also think similar..and also as the whole thing can be quite secretive it's not as easy telling friends where you are.."
. This is a good point.Some years ago after exchanging some messages with a couple and was invited to there home I declined.My reasons for declining we’re after reading their verifications closely I noticed that the husband seemed to enjoy bi play.Even though in the messages when asked if would be interested in bi play I said no I thought what if at the meet he changed his mind.As the husband was taller and physically looked stronger than me I thought it best to decline in case a situation happened that I couldn’t control.

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By *otSoPetiteMort OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"I think men meeting couples also think similar..and also as the whole thing can be quite secretive it's not as easy telling friends where you are... This is a good point.Some years ago after exchanging some messages with a couple and was invited to there home I declined.My reasons for declining we’re after reading their verifications closely I noticed that the husband seemed to enjoy bi play.Even though in the messages when asked if would be interested in bi play I said no I thought what if at the meet he changed his mind.As the husband was taller and physically looked stronger than me I thought it best to decline in case a situation happened that I couldn’t control."

Glad you felt com to share. x

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By *otSoPetiteMort OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"Such an important topic. Also key in some non Fab worlds ... it all about authenticity, values, approach, reliability and candour ... x Anne & George

ps love you profile original poster, very enticing ... "

Why, thank you. xXx

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By *otSoPetiteMort OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"I always hide my keys and my phone somewhere so they can't if something were to go wrong and they tried to stop me getting help.

I won't meet men who let on they've been drinking x"

That's actually a very helpful idea, thank you. x

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By *otSoPetiteMort OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"I never ever done spontaneous meets, and I regard those who seek them with suspicion.

I only meet people who are verified by a meet, not fool proof but that's something I look at.

I tend to chat for a long while before a meet so, get a general feel for them.

It is sad that woman have to behave like that. "

Same. Meet verifications are essential but it's not perfect.

Plus, I have known people turn nasty suddenly WAY down the line after weeks of talking (calculated people will wait until they think they have earned your trust before they show their true colours), so when I am sizing people up, it is not just in the beginning, it's permanently. If someone pushes their luck after weeks of meeting, I need to know I stand a good chance of defending myself. x

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

Some of my spontaneous meets have been the best and nicest guys, and the ones I’ve spent months getting to know the worst!

Meets and clubs verified is a must for me. And a Snapchat video call prior. Very clear about my expectations and my wants. And what they are into.

I really worry about women who base their judgement on socials alone as everyone can behave in public.

For a meet:

Someone knows where i am at all times

I drive so have access to my car if needed

I use hotels with receptions so someone is always around

For clubs:

I have the taxi number saved in my phone prior to having a drink to ensure I know I can get back to the hotel

I never lock private room doors and prefer to play in public

It’s a chance we take but after a fair few times where I’ve come away thinking I was lucky… you have to take some precautions xx

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"This is why I never do spontaneous meets, I like to chat first and then the 1st meet will always be a social in a public place just to confirm my thoughts about them x"

I so agree, I'm only 5ft 1in and seem to attract guys who are 6ft and over, so would be very easily overpowered. Thankfully I've not met anyone yet who gave me cause for concern.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps not as weird as I think it is, but as a female meeting alone, I realised that part of my judging meets includes whether I think I stand a good chance of taking them on physically if things went wrong or they turned out to be a complete psycho. XD

Hubby pointed it out when I voiced my concerns on meeting a 6'4 Guy I had been chatting to who was built like a brick shit house when he mentioned he used to be a Boxer, lol. And apparently I also brought it up with the last guy we met together.

Have you discovered any subconscious vetting criteria when deciding on a potential meet? x"

Yes, I ask the same questions different ways and look for inconsistencies

I also read eye movement and body language like English. It's kept me safe a few times in life.

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By *otSoPetiteMort OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"Perhaps not as weird as I think it is, but as a female meeting alone, I realised that part of my judging meets includes whether I think I stand a good chance of taking them on physically if things went wrong or they turned out to be a complete psycho. XD

Hubby pointed it out when I voiced my concerns on meeting a 6'4 Guy I had been chatting to who was built like a brick shit house when he mentioned he used to be a Boxer, lol. And apparently I also brought it up with the last guy we met together.

Have you discovered any subconscious vetting criteria when deciding on a potential meet? x

Nothing weird about this. I have the same concern (amplified in its own way by some experiences previously). "

I'm sorry to hear that. xXx

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"I think men meeting couples also think similar..and also as the whole thing can be quite secretive it's not as easy telling friends where you are... This is a good point.Some years ago after exchanging some messages with a couple and was invited to there home I declined.My reasons for declining we’re after reading their verifications closely I noticed that the husband seemed to enjoy bi play.Even though in the messages when asked if would be interested in bi play I said no I thought what if at the meet he changed his mind.As the husband was taller and physically looked stronger than me I thought it best to decline in case a situation happened that I couldn’t control.

Glad you felt com to share. x"
. No problem glad you also felt comfortable to share your story as well x.

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By *cing3894Man
over a year ago

Billingham

I think it is a sad state of affairs that women need to take safety precautions. Yet I always insist they do, send you live location to a trusted friend on WhatsApp, tell someone where you are just something that makes you feel safe. There are email services that you can delay sending an email until a certain time, put all the info in there and set it to send, just deactivate it if all goes well.

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