FabSwingers.com forum: do you think I'm being over sensitive

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As some know my daughter is on here. As wedon't live far from each other its inevitable that sometimes we talk to the same guy.

However my rule is if she has met someone then I won't. However she doesn't seem to see what the problem is and I lose lots of play mates. They admit they know me or I tell her I've played with them. But only person it seems to bother is me.

I am guessing to the single guys it is a bit of a wow thing. But they then can't understand why I won't play again after.

I will never knowingly play with someone that has been with her. Is that being over sensitive

Btw she is old enough to be on here and we know the other is on here. We just don't discuss details. Expect names so I can avoid them.

It's just lately she seems to not care if I have had them first and it seems a bit wrong.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nah im with you

I couldnt shag someone who had shagged one of my girls

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strange situation , I do belive you are ok to be.its only normal to feel the way you do

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think your being over sensitive there, we won't meet people who have met a friend of ours that happen to be on here either just wouldn't feel comfortable, so I can understand ( although your situation is a lot more personal)

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think you have made the choice that is right for you... It seems a sensible one in my opinion.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As some know my daughter is on here. As wedon't live far from each other its inevitable that sometimes we talk to the same guy.

I am guessing to the single guys it is a bit of a wow thing. But they then can't understand why I won't play again after.

I will never knowingly play with someone that has been with her. Is that being over sensitive

Btw she is old enough to be on here and we know the other is on here. We just don't discuss details. Expect names so I can avoid them.

It's just lately she seems to not care if I have had them first and it seems a bit wrong. "

I fear you may have just allowed some men to dream too much.

I can see what you're saying though, the question is do you think it's spoiling your fun? If it is then it's a discussion you should have with your daughter

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have only got a son, but i dont think it would bother me, i think it would be funny.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Do what you're comfortable with. In your situation I agree it would seem wrong somehow, so I'm with you there.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *eal_Dick_TurpinMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Monkey see, monkey do...

plus daughters ain't mums.

like many "taboo" things it's a lot more common than many people think.

your only real answer is move, and hope she don't follow you.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesnt sit well with me and i a uoung single guy so its not the wow factor

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to get murdered for it but you have such an odd life (from the stories you tell on these forums) that I struggle to believe it all and if it is all true I dont even know where to start.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Luckily me and the daughter have completely different tastes in men, but I would never shag someone she'd shagged. I be too afraid of coming off badly in the comparison!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As some know my daughter is on here. As wedon't live far from each other its inevitable that sometimes we talk to the same guy.

I am guessing to the single guys it is a bit of a wow thing. But they then can't understand why I won't play again after.

I will never knowingly play with someone that has been with her. Is that being over sensitive

Btw she is old enough to be on here and we know the other is on here. We just don't discuss details. Expect names so I can avoid them.

It's just lately she seems to not care if I have had them first and it seems a bit wrong. "

Hmm. I think neither of you are wrong. If its an issue for you to play with anyone that's played with your daughter then I think that's entirely normal - in the same way that it doesn't bother your daughter if someone has played with you.

As long as you're both open and honest about it and have a system that works for you both then its all gravy.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It bothers her if I fuck someone she has had first though. As accidentally happened once. She was not impressed at all and got very annoyed with the guy. Even though none of us knew.

to the one asking if I am making it up. Enough club members at xotix can vouch for me. Not that I care. My life is just what it is.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

did your daughter find this site by herself ? did you introduce it to her ?

Surely somewhere it has to bother you sharing the same men as your daughter, it just seems so very wrong.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

She is a sexually liberated free thinking adult that is having tons of fun,you have been extremely graphic and open about sex on these forums at times,if you have bought your daughter up with the same level of openess regarding sex then I don't understand why you have a problem with her enjoying herself,she does'nt see it as a problem,shes having loads of attention and fun

Personally though I would'nt want to play with anyone that had played with my own daughter if she was on here either,but you won't be able to stop her doing what shes doing

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"As some know my daughter is on here. As wedon't live far from each other its inevitable that sometimes we talk to the same guy.

I am guessing to the single guys it is a bit of a wow thing. But they then can't understand why I won't play again after.

I will never knowingly play with someone that has been with her. Is that being over sensitive

Btw she is old enough to be on here and we know the other is on here. We just don't discuss details. Expect names so I can avoid them.

It's just lately she seems to not care if I have had them first and it seems a bit wrong. "

you have had quite a lot - so I doubt there is any option for her

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It bothers her if I fuck someone she has had first though. As accidentally happened once. She was not impressed at all and got very annoyed with the guy. Even though none of us knew.

to the one asking if I am making it up. Enough club members at xotix can vouch for me. Not that I care. My life is just what it is. "

I think the key is communication between the two of you - because you cant rely on outsiders / play partners to be honest about who they have played with (sadly).

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"did your daughter find this site by herself ? did you introduce it to her ?

Surely somewhere it has to bother you sharing the same men as your daughter, it just seems so very wrong.

She wanted to swing. Fab is easy to find. I have had her banned from my local club after it became awkward.

It does bother me. Hence this thread. I won't share which is the whole point of this thread

as to honeypot couple. I've only had my daughter back in my life for just over a year. So its not my influence at all. I am open my this site as it's an adult site. I am not going to tell my children exactly what I do

I've spoken to my daughter about it and she doesn't really see the problem. It's me that finds it wrong.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure I have the answer to any of this but am thinking it would make a brilliant episode of Jeremy Kyle.....I'll get my coat!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure I have the answer to any of this but am thinking it would make a brilliant episode of Jeremy Kyle.....I'll get my coat!

Was just thinking that! Nightmare

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"you have had quite a lot - so I doubt there is any option for her

LOL.

When I met my daughter's ex I was terrified I may have met him before because he was right in my age range. Luckily I had not. Phew!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've actually tried to put her off. Was supportive to start with. But she kept falling for her regular meets.

However children don't always listen to their parents on sexual advice.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the reason you struggle with it is at a core level shagging people who have shagged your mother/daughter/son/father is "morally" wrong and while we all draw our own line in the sand as to where that moral line is its clear this has crossed it for you. Possibly sub conciously but its still been crossed.

I have no doubt some people will turn up in the thread telling us we can shag whoever and having your kids on the same swinging site as you and shagging the same people you do is all fine but really its quite clearly not.

With this and your other recent postings are you sure this is the right life style for you ? have you considered some sort of councelling (maybe for you both) because the way you post about it all its more like a compulsion to do this "act" rather than something to enjoy as a past time.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Being that I am a therapist I know my own mind. Been in this lifestyle for 14 plus years. But recently suffered a heart breaking break up

yes I'm struggling a little with the move from swingin as a couple to swinging as a single. It is different

but that's not for here. I love sex and do also need it. I know I'm a sex addict. Hence I've not been doing things for the sake of it lately

it is for me an issue with guys thinking I'm being jealous because after they have been with my daughter i don't want to play with them. No matter how much fun we have had before.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People that do things because of addiciton aren't really enjoying them generally.

As for the daughter thing no its perfectly acceptible to not play with someone who has fucked your daughter there is very little else to say about it.

If your daughter thinks otherwise then this time its her with the issue not you.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was taught to control my addiction. I no longer do anything unless it's for my enjoyment. I could have one on one meets but currently wouldn't get much pleasure so stick to what I enjoy.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some of the men i have met talk about the other women they have met, just imagine how embarased i would be if they were talking about my daughter.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bit off-top but do you think you had any influence on ur daughter starting to swing

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"some of the men i have met talk about the other women they have met, just imagine how embarased i would be if they were talking about my daughter.

See that's part of it but I'd just feel wrong. I am trying to impress on my daughter that it's not right to sleep with guys I've been intimate with. But i feel better now that it's not just me being sensitive.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

maybe try and look at it from her perspective..

she is an adult and has made her own choice with being involved in swinging..

then you have 'had her banned' from your club, that would piss most folk off tbh..

why not both agree to only go on seperate nights maybe..?

you need to sit down and dicuss it with her again, she will have read the thread regardless i guess..

good luck

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"bit off-top but do you think you had any influence on ur daughter starting to swing "

She was already shall we say promiscuous when I started to have influence and yes. I know it was because of me that she started. But then my mum was a swinger too. It isn't that she is that bothers me. Even though I think with her attachment issues its not the best. But it's safer than what she was doing before.

But I won't tell her to stop. Just advise her where I can.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being that I am a therapist I know my own mind. Been in this lifestyle for 14 plus years. But recently suffered a heart breaking break up

yes I'm struggling a little with the move from swingin as a couple to swinging as a single. It is different

but that's not for here. I love sex and do also need it. I know I'm a sex addict. Hence I've not been doing things for the sake of it lately

it is for me an issue with guys thinking I'm being jealous because after they have been with my daughter i don't want to play with them. No matter how much fun we have had before.

I think as long as you stick to your guns then its not so much your issue as the guys involved and your daughter.

You know how you feel and will communicate that to anyone getting in touch. The only issue I can see is that guys may not openly admit to having met your daughter - and unless she advises you and you keep her informed of planned meets its hard to see an easy way this can be avoided. Add the potential for guys you meet at clubs not to let on either and there's a second potential risk that you won't find out til it's too late.

All you can do is try your best and hope people will be honest if you ask the question! And as for your daughters point if _iew - I guess there's not much you can do to change her mind if she sees no issue.

Good luck!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your taking the right stance Cali, appart from banning us Celtic fans

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Cali

if it how you feel then that is how it is, even if everyone on Fab said you were being over sensitive, then it wouldnt change what you are or how you feel.

you seem pretty sorted and know what you like from your posts on here, so carry on doing and being what you are.

your daughter can do what she likes i suppose and she isnt likely to change what she is either, i suppose like everything in life we are what we are and its hard to change the fundementals of how we feel.

just carry on avoiding the people she has met and if she doesnt do the same i dont suppose you can do much other than ask her not to.

(For the record, it wouldnt bother me, but i am a man and my sons as far as i know are NOT swingers).

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"maybe try and look at it from her perspective..

she is an adult and has made her own choice with being involved in swinging..

then you have 'had her banned' from your club, that would piss most folk off tbh..

why not both agree to only go on seperate nights maybe..?

you need to sit down and dicuss it with her again, she will have read the thread regardless i guess..

good luck "

It's only open two nights a week and I help out at the club. I didn't just have her banned from club for me. But over previous drama she had caused there with others.

I have talked to her. I have said I think it's wrong. She disagrees. So I just have to be vigilant. And she does always as a safely thing let me know who she is meeting. I then private note it that she has met them.

I just with her and a few others I had talked tossaying I was being over sensitive wondered if because I've had my recent breakup I actually was being.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not over sensitive at all

I don't like bedding people who I know have played with my close (non swinger) friends

So I know a family members playmates would be a big non no for me.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just feel like ur daughters stance on it seems a bit cold and almost disrespectful/resentful.

maybe she has some underlying issues with you

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks all.

More chats with daughter needed me thinks xx

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't believe it's a case of being sensitive. you have your rules just as she has hers.

you don't want to meet any guys she has met, which is fair enough.

and she has no problems meeting the guys you have met, equally fair enough.

that said I think its hypocritical of her to have a problem with you meeti.f someone she has met beforehand though.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stick with what works best for you Cali, you have age and experience behind you, your daughter less so, be the bigger person and go along with her wishes while sticking to yours.

I discovered this worked with my daughter, not as swingers I hasten to add! She just didn't like the fact my boyfriend was the same age as hers, mine 12 years younger and hers 12 years older. I know others saw her as being unreasonable and applying double standards but I let my boyfriend go rather than lose my daughter over it.

Maybe in years to come, your daughter like mine, will see how unreasonable she is being but in the meantime you know what makes sense to you, so keep doing it. xxx

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ldestswingerintownMan
over a year ago

Lancaster

some people have ideas that we might call odd. I took a woman to Cupids for her first-ever club visit, and she enjoyed it so much that she went back the next night with her sister. Perhaps sharing partners between siblings is not so bad as netween geenrations - although there used to be a mother / daughter pair that used to frequent Cupids.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My best friend is on here and we have exactly the same rules, we dont play together and dont meet the same men. Its a rule we made when we joined and it works for us, not that we would ever argue over a man! if we talk to the same man then they have to decide who they are going to meet which can be quite good fun, and we never have any resentment towards each other. We are best friends but there are some things we dont need to share!!!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly think if i ever came on here and found one of my kids had a profile i'd leave the site, i dont even think i could be on the same site as one of my kids never mind share the same guy, if i left and looked for sex else where the problem of meeting the same guys would be gone, ok theres a small chance you could speak to the same guy away from this site but you would be cutting your chances down greatly

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I would leave the site if I found one of my kids on here - no ifs or buts. But then, for a number of reasons (and I will get shot for this ) I believe the lifestyle is more suitable for the time when your kids have flown the nest.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don't see why you should have to wait till kids are grown up. I only meet now at clubs. And my daughter does not live with me.

Leaving site because my children are on here does seem a little over kill. Why should I stop my play. And to be honest I have more chance of knowing who she has been with via here than just random guys met out and about.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

think you were wrong for stopping her going to the club you go to through.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"think you were wrong for stopping her going to the club you go to through."

If you knew all the reasons why you wouldn't. I honestly hope this is a phase as jealousy has no place in this world and it's something she suffers with.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't see why you should have to wait till kids are grown up. I only meet now at clubs. And my daughter does not live with me.

nobodies saying you should, im just saying if it was me then i would leave the site if my kids was on here, that does not mean i think others should x

For me its just a line i find hard to cross, my kids are more important ot me than having sex off here, i wouldnt want my kids knowing i was on here as their opinion of me matters, so rather than them find me i would leave, but not everyone thinks like me, your more open about these things than i am with my children, im my kids mother and i always want to be seen and respected as such by them, it would upset be greatly if they knew i met strangers for sex, thats my private life and not a side i share with my kids, i do sometimes find it hard to see why people would share such things with their children, that does not mean i think its wrong, its just i couldnt imagine telling my kids so offen wonder how people broach the subject with theirs and what peoples kids really think about their parents doing this? i honestly think mine would be horrified and disgusted with me, but maybe thats because ive always been very closed about such thinsg with them, i split with my ex 4 years ago and my kids honestly think i have not had sex since we split lol and to be fair i'd prefer to keep it that way

We are all different, and we all have to do whats best for us

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what, pray tell. were the reasons?

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going to get murdered for it but you have such an odd life (from the stories you tell on these forums) that I struggle to believe it all and if it is all true I dont even know where to start.

I tend to agree!!!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks

"did your daughter find this site by herself ? did you introduce it to her ?

Surely somewhere it has to bother you sharing the same men as your daughter, it just seems so very wrong.

"
cali didn't say they shared guys. She said she won't meets guys her daughter had already met.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why can you not decide to stick with meeting men within a certain age range. I havent read your profile and dont know how old either of you are so will use my age as a suggestion.

I am 41 so say I meet men between 31 plus and say she is 20 so she meet men up to 30 only. If you both stuck to planned meets then your not going to meet the same man.

Fruit

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't see why you should have to wait till kids are grown up. I only meet now at clubs. And my daughter does not live with me.

Your right dont stop doing what you want to do just because you have got kids, within reason of course.

you only have one life and you should enjoy it.

i dont tell my son how to live his life and i dont expect him to tell me how to live mine.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks

"bit off-top but do you think you had any influence on ur daughter starting to swing

But I won't tell her to stop. Just advise her where I can.

"
if u tell your kids not to do something they will do it more.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With you 100% i would not play with anyone one of my sisters or mother or my child so your not being sensitive.

Good on you guys for being open enough to be able to talk about it tho

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I do think that I would rather my kids knew than lie to them. After all adult kids are not going to think a single mum doesn't have sex.

To be fair had my so called friend not outed me to the world. I would have perhaps not told them I'm a swinger. But I don't know. As I don't see that it is something to hide or be ashamed of. After all I'm an adult.

However I do believe in openness. But my kids don't know what I like personally.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why can you not decide to stick with meeting men within a certain age range. I havent read your profile and dont know how old either of you are so will use my age as a suggestion.

I am 41 so say I meet men between 31 plus and say she is 20 so she meet men up to 30 only. If you both stuck to planned meets then your not going to meet the same man.

Fruit"

Her meets are from 18 at her youngest and 64 her oldest. Mine are 19 to 52. But now have 25 to 45. She prefers older men.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *xpandmyhorizonsMan
over a year ago

Co. Antrim

Is it just me wandering who ur daughter is?

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford

mother daughter its a fantasy isnt it thats why the guys are flocking even if it isnt at the same time

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you have made the choice that is right for you... It seems a sensible one in my opinion.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it just me wandering who ur daughter is?

No think a lot of people are intrigued us included!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To be honest most don't know. I worry more about her being told what I do via here. I'm not ashamed but how I play isn't exactly standard.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *xpandmyhorizonsMan
over a year ago

Co. Antrim

"Is it just me wandering who ur daughter is?

No think a lot of people are intrigued us included!"

Ok Cali....spill

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"To be honest most don't know. I worry more about her being told what I do via here. I'm not ashamed but how I play isn't exactly standard.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be honest most don't know. I worry more about her being told what I do via here. I'm not ashamed but how I play isn't exactly standard.

Surely she knows everything as your on here and tell the forums what u do?

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To be honest most don't know. I worry more about her being told what I do via here. I'm not ashamed but how I play isn't exactly standard.

Surely she knows everything as your on here and tell the forums what u do? "

She doesn't use the forums. To busy on Facebook or replying to messages

And lol not saying who she is. That would just make things worse.

As her mother i would love to tell her that she needs to get off the site and stop playing around. But it would be a bit hypocritical. at jleast on here i have some idea who she is with.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be honest most don't know. I worry more about her being told what I do via here. I'm not ashamed but how I play isn't exactly standard.

Sorry, I really don't get it - far be it for me to offer advice, but posting messages on a public forum on a site where your daughter is a member strikes me as exactly the way for her to find out stuff you do that you don't want her to know about. Without doubt this is the strangest thread I have ever read on here.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To be honest most don't know. I worry more about her being told what I do via here. I'm not ashamed but how I play isn't exactly standard.

I've been on here many years. She is new. Much of my recent posts have been toned down. Just in case. If she reads this thread then maybe she will realise it's not just me that thinks it's wrong.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

happy for any of my replies to be removed by a mod if you would prefer that Cali, am really cool with it

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be honest most don't know. I worry more about her being told what I do via here. I'm not ashamed but how I play isn't exactly standard.

I've been on here many years. She is new. Much of my recent posts have been toned down. Just in case. If she reads this thread then maybe she will realise it's not just me that thinks it's wrong."

Well I said earlier in jest that this would make a good episode of Jeremy Kyle, but I'm now thinking a forum where you 2 can thrash out your issues and sort out what is clearly a disfunctional relationship is exactly what is needed!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I must admit. I find the whole situation very odd.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must admit. I find the whole situation very odd. "

I'd say different rather than odd.

Guess few of us are ever likely to find ourselves in a similar situation but why should two adults of consenting age not be allowed to participate in this kind of life just because they are related?

If they were living at different ends of the country there'd be no issue with the chance of meeting the same people and I doubt anyone would bat an eyelid!!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your right. I wouldn't be comfortable with it either xx

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Don't see why you should have to wait till kids are grown up. I only meet now at clubs. And my daughter does not live with me.

nobodies saying you should, im just saying if it was me then i would leave the site if my kids was on here, that does not mean i think others should x

We are all different, and we all have to do whats best for us "

This!

I'd go further: my kids think I found them under a gooseberry bush. My sisters are under strict instructions to remove the trunk in the bottom of my wardrobe should I pop my clogs as my daughters will be spending their inheritance on therapy!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"I must admit. I find the whole situation very odd.

I'd say different rather than odd.

Guess few of us are ever likely to find ourselves in a similar situation but why should two adults of consenting age not be allowed to participate in this kind of life just because they are related?

If they were living at different ends of the country there'd be no issue with the chance of meeting the same people and I doubt anyone would bat an eyelid!!"

I don't disagree ref the lifestyle. I mean odd as in using the same site, clubs and play mates.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *igblackdomTV/TS
over a year ago

West Midlands

I'm afraid I'm going to be a little critical too, whilst we're a community of people who celebrate our free thinking and hedonistic attitude towards life, there still need to be appropriate boundaries.

Parents enjoy sex, their adult children do too but there should be a natural barrier where the two dont overlap.

We don't know your daughter or her real reasons for being here but clearly you're both exposing each other to a potentially disastrous outcome from an emotional and relationship perspective. The rules you've set in place don't help insulate each other from this and meeting men from the same site is a particularly precarious enterprise.

Your daughter's apparent intransigence and couldn't care less approach is a red flag which you should take heed of Cali.

As others have said she may well read this thread and not particularly take up the challenge in the way you describe, she might find it hurtful to discover she's being discussed in this way albeit anonymously.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friggin hell after reading that lot I am so happy not to have a family its stressed to fuck just reading it!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *artLonCouple
over a year ago

Portsmouth

We all do this for similar reason. If you and your daughter are both happy with what you do why is there a problem. maybe the solution would be to take each meet on face value and stop asking if they know your daughter.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We all do this for similar reason. If you and your daughter are both happy with what you do why is there a problem. maybe the solution would be to take each meet on face value and stop asking if they know your daughter."

If I don't ask meets. I ask her. She tells me who she is meeting. That way I can avoid them.

I've not said anything on this thread I've not said to her face. I was more looking to see if I was being over sensitive for thinking it was wrong.

I do try to encourage her to not be on here. But I can not stop her. Nor will I stop doing something I enjoy.

See how it goes. I just wont knowingly play with anyone she has. And happy that is right thing to do.

Thanks to all the messages I've had. It's helped a lot.

Cali

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I must admit. I find the whole situation very odd. "

Unfortunately for me I can't ban her from the site. And currently I'm trying to just meet people from further away.

I am trying to make sure I don't meet the same people.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just love cowards who message you and then block you so you can't reply!!!!!!!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some mens fantasy mother and daughter, glad mine has a normal vanilla relationship.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When our daughter was on here we had the same rule. So no you aren't being over sensitive and its your right to choose.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jackanory!!!!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jackanory!!!!"

In your opinion. But others know different. Why do you find it so hard to believe my daughter is no here.

Anyway. I know it's not fiction. Try the fantasy section for that

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When our daughter was on here we had the same rule. So no you aren't being over sensitive and its your right to choose."

Thanks. It's a difficult one isn't it.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

"Thanks all.

More chats with daughter needed me thinks xx"

I see where you're coming from on this and agree with you - I was once in a situation where one of my brother's ex-girlfriend's was coming onto me, I politely got out of there as fast as possible, it felt more uncomfortable than anything else.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"I must admit. I find the whole situation very odd.

Unfortunately for me I can't ban her from the site. And currently I'm trying to just meet people from further away.

I am trying to make sure I don't meet the same people. "

I hear what you are saying, and I imagine it must be very difficult. Do you ever think to yourself that you should distance your common interests further apart?

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Fascinating thread. Interesting to see a mums point of _iew cos this could be seen to be on many bucket lists. You stick to your guns Cali. Your life your rules

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I must admit. I find the whole situation very odd.

Unfortunately for me I can't ban her from the site. And currently I'm trying to just meet people from further away.

I am trying to make sure I don't meet the same people.

I hear what you are saying, and I imagine it must be very difficult. Do you ever think to yourself that you should distance your common interests further apart? "

In what way

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"I must admit. I find the whole situation very odd.

Unfortunately for me I can't ban her from the site. And currently I'm trying to just meet people from further away.

I am trying to make sure I don't meet the same people.

I hear what you are saying, and I imagine it must be very difficult. Do you ever think to yourself that you should distance your common interests further apart?

In what way"
maybe take up quilting or embroidery and forget about being a sex addict lol

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

"I must admit. I find the whole situation very odd.

Unfortunately for me I can't ban her from the site. And currently I'm trying to just meet people from further away.

I am trying to make sure I don't meet the same people.

I hear what you are saying, and I imagine it must be very difficult. Do you ever think to yourself that you should distance your common interests further apart?

In what way"

Just picking up on this, but perhaps if you went to different clubs or used different swingers sites, would that help?

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In what waymaybe take up quilting or embroidery and forget about being a sex addict lol"

Think not. I enjoy my sex life. And have no intention of giving it up till I'm to old. Actually I do quilting and embroidery and play a few instruments. I do on occasion do other things.

As to the comments about other sites. To be honest most people I know on here are on other sites. So cross over i think would be more of a risk. At least on here i can use the private notes function to keep track.

As to clubs. I noticed she is looking at going to a club that I have no interest in. So maybe that will help.

But to be honest was already doing as much as I could to prevent this. Just would be easier if she also did the same.

I just wanted to know if I was being over sensitive. But it seems that I wasn't.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will probably get slammed for this but I'm sorry, I find the whole thing wrong. I've read a post of yours before where you have been to clubs on the same night as your daughter, personally for me, I find it shocking.

There are some interests that a parent and child simply should not share and for me, this is one of them.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

"Don't see why you should have to wait till kids are grown up. I only meet now at clubs. And my daughter does not live with me.

nobodies saying you should, im just saying if it was me then i would leave the site if my kids was on here, that does not mean i think others should x

We are all different, and we all have to do whats best for us "

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will probably get slammed for this but I'm sorry, I find the whole thing wrong. I've read a post of yours before where you have been to clubs on the same night as your daughter, personally for me, I find it shocking.

There are some interests that a parent and child simply should not share and for me, this is one of them. "

Hypothetically speaking, what if Cali has been on this site for years, attending clubs for years and her daughter has just happened on the scene. Would you expect Cali or her daughter to give it up?

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some interests that a parent and child simply should not share and for me, this is one of them.

Hypothetically speaking, what if Cali has been on this site for years, attending clubs for years and her daughter has just happened on the scene. Would you expect Cali or her daughter to give it up? "

i dont expect other to but i know i would, i have two daughters aged 18 and 20 so both old enough to be on here and go clubs, but if one of my girls joined or started going to the club i use i would stop, no ifs no buts that would be my fab and club life over

I think the problem is others find it hard to understand why someone would do what they wouldnt, i honestly do not know how a mother could go to a swingers club where her daugher is attaending the same night, but people do and we have to acceot that not everyone thinks the same as us

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some interests that a parent and child simply should not share and for me, this is one of them. "

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know in this day and age we need to be free thinking and i am ...... But if my girl was here i would not be .. and i would worry her safety and all sorts it would drive me mad so i would wish not to know .

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some interests that a parent and child simply should not share and for me, this is one of them.

Hypothetically speaking, what if Cali has been on this site for years, attending clubs for years and her daughter has just happened on the scene. Would you expect Cali or her daughter to give it up?

thank you for your answer.

I too would probably give up clubs and this site if my daughter were to indulge, however I would feel slightly aggrieved at having to give up and give way to her, especially if I were the one who discovered swinging first.

I think it is often the case parents give in and give way to their children who seem to expect it.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There are some interests that a parent and child simply should not share and for me, this is one of them. "

I have been on nights where she was there too. I help out at the club. I just started dressing a bit more. And should I be wanting to play. I would tell her I was going upstairs. However I found i couldn't relax so stopped playing when she was there. To be honest she always played private room.

As clubs are mostly a social aspect it didn't matter much of the time. But in the end a decision had to be made.

We have talked about this today. She will still meet people I have but will always now let me know who. I always tell her which clubs in an going to and when.

That way she can avoid them. However as she is now looking to mostly meet couples the gap should widen

Even when at a club at the same time. It was not like we knew what the other was doing. It was just if I went upstairs she didn't or vice versa. To be honest most nights I was to busy behind the bar.

It was more of worry that I felt protective. Her first trips to other clubs were with people I knew and trusted ( not play mates)

We are resetting our boundaries now. And I've just gone through her meet list and blocked guys.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is exactly the case. The club she went to was my local and where I helped out at. Was I meant to just leave? Give up something I've enjoyed for many many years. I think if it happens your _iews change. I know before this is was wondering how the couple that had told me of their son going to a club could still go

Apart from who she meets and where she is going. That's all I know about it. Pretty much the same as I would with a vanilla sex life. Same goes for her.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People will read this think oooo a dream mum and daughter and have some sorts of fetish about this ... over my years at clubs meet mum dad and daughter at xtasia years ago she was 21 ........ and i could no way have done it .. and meet a mum and son who would go to swing clubs think nothing of it ........... its whats your happy with end of the day morel values in my world my kids come first i have given loads up over years to keep them happy ....... and i would this site and clubs ... and i would hate it men after her just for a shag a peace of meat as she was once my baby .

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like you've found a solution Cali. Hope it works for you. No I don't think you're being oversensitive (as per your OP). Perhaps she's jealous, maybe it's a self esteem thing wanting to 'out do' you.

Either way, as long as you are both happy then that's good. X

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds like you've found a solution Cali. Hope it works for you. No I don't think you're being oversensitive (as per your OP). Perhaps she's jealous, maybe it's a self esteem thing wanting to 'out do' you.

Either way, as long as you are both happy then that's good. X"

Hope so. I do think it's a bit of a case of trying to out do me. But she gets like that with other women too

I hope that it all settles. I am not giving up myllifestyle because she is following suit.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some interests that a parent and child simply should not share and for me, this is one of them. "

couldnt have put it better myself

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some interests that a parent and child simply should not share and for me, this is one of them.

Yes!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some interests that a parent and child simply should not share and for me, this is one of them.

Hypothetically speaking, what if Cali has been on this site for years, attending clubs for years and her daughter has just happened on the scene. Would you expect Cali or her daughter to give it up?

Yes!"

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was more of worry that I felt protective. Her first trips to other clubs were with people I knew and trusted ( not play mates)

We are resetting our boundaries now. And I've just gone through her meet list and blocked guys. "

I'm not a mother, yet I find it so refreshing that you can even talk about sex with your daughter.... Seems you are simply being protective of her and at least you know who she is with, where and when... Main thing is as you said, you are both in different rooms or go to the club on different nights.

Methinks in the western life, there is such a taboo about parents knowing about the sexual history of their children and vice versa.

I read an article on the internet about how parents in a Cambodian tribe are building "love huts" for their very young pre teen daughters to learn about sex with young boys and relationships... when I can find the link, will let you know...

I get the feeling you are more protective than oversensitive about your daughter... What you choose to do in terms of the swinging lifestyle is always up to you as both your daughter and yourself are free thinking adults... Also seems you trust each other to tell each other what is going on so that boundaries are maintained... It's very unusual as you said your mother was also a swinger...

Thanks for sharing Cali, good to learn from different experiences.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2174389.

Hope this helps.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think as a mum you have to take the high grown, If not You go down to same level you don't become the mum and respect has gone.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

"I think as a mum you have to take the high grown, If not You go down to same level you don't become the mum and respect has gone. "
totally agree x

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think as a mum you have to take the high grown, If not You go down to same level you don't become the mum and respect has gone. "

There is respect. I'm lucky that I can be honest. I have told her I'm not happy about some of the things she has done. As personally I wouldn't ever have a sexual partners that had carnal knowledge of my close relatives.

And really i can't understand the _iew is should give it up. That's like to me saying just because I like to do track days.now my son is too that I should give it up. Because to me it'sa part of who I am. Same as my sexual side.

Now if I was sharing rooms or sharing details with my daughter then yes I could get it. But it's not much different to my daughter having a boyfriend in and having sex while I'm in the house. Or me having a sex while she is in bed.

Sex is only going to become less taboo as people become more open. At least I know where she is and who she is with. I can't see her profile. She can't see mine. The limit of our contact via fab is to know who she has met or which club she is going to.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She wanted to swing. Fab is easy to find. I have had her banned from my local club after it became awkward.

You had your daughter banned form your local club?

Everything about this thread is about you, how you feel and what you want. And the fact that you had her banned rather than chosing not to go yourself sums it up perfectly.

I just hope that your daughter doesn't read the forums.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some interests that a parent and child simply should not share and for me, this is one of them.

couldnt have put it better myself

Me too.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think as a mum you have to take the high grown, If not You go down to same level you don't become the mum and respect has gone.

I'm very protective and did tell her straight i don't think this site is for her and that swinging isn't good for her right now. But she is old enough and chooses to ignore me. So now my advice is constantly about safe sex and being safe."
you have to do what feels right to you ......... my mum and dad was swingers .. as a young girl i would see there parties but told to go to my room , I know how i was mad to feel and finding my mum with her lover .. as a girl ... so i would no way do this to my own . I am the mum and the two my sex life and there's do not mix ... and myn have always been for 121 long team boy friend now my younger sons having fun but away from me ..They don't mix i am the mum ,And thats how it will be untill i die .

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She wanted to swing. Fab is easy to find. I have had her banned from my local club after it became awkward.

You had your daughter banned form your local club?

Everything about this thread is about you, how you feel and what you want. And the fact that you had her banned rather than chosing not to go yourself sums it up perfectly.

I just hope that your daughter doesn't read the forums.

Why should I give it up. And yes I had her banned for her good and to stop any possible drama. And yes this threads about what I want. As it's about me. She has read the thread. Only reason she isn't posting is for the fact it would out who she is.

Actually having read this thread she has actually realised that perhaps it's wrong to meet men she knows I have. So something good has come of it as she sees that it's not just me being jealous or petty.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I know you are saying that you just wanted confirmation from people that you were not just being sensitive, but you have posted snippets about your daughters character and what she is doing in her life that you don't like on a public forum.

I think this is more than just confirmation needed over wether you are being sensitive or not.

Personally I think the respectful thing would have been to talk to her instead.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I did talk to her and that was what brought about this thread. As she thought I was being to sensitive.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/13 17:21:48]

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

If you had stayed on track with the original question I might have thought differently, but as I say it looked like there was more to it going by your other posts.

We are all different and obviously others are free to do as they want to but I wouldn't have discussed my daughter on a website whatever the reason.

To the OP....I don't know if the word you are looking for is sensitive....but I don't think I would be happy playing with a relatives playmates.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She wanted to swing. Fab is easy to find. I have had her banned from my local club after it became awkward.

You had your daughter banned form your local club?

Everything about this thread is about you, how you feel and what you want. And the fact that you had her banned rather than chosing not to go yourself sums it up perfectly.

I just hope that your daughter doesn't read the forums.

WOW

Could you be anymore selfish and self-obsessed. Me, me, me. As long as you get what you want then all is cool - yes? So your fun, is more important than your daughters fun and seemingly more important than your relationship with here.

I feel sorry for your daughter I really do.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

I love cali and her openess, but im sorry this doesnt sit comfortably with me, but as the saying goes each to their own, i couldnt personally go along with it

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She wanted to swing. Fab is easy to find. I have had her banned from my local club after it became awkward.

You had your daughter banned form your local club?

Everything about this thread is about you, how you feel and what you want. And the fact that you had her banned rather than chosing not to go yourself sums it up perfectly.

I just hope that your daughter doesn't read the forums.

I'm confused, earlier in the post you said your daughter does not read the forums and you also said that you had blocked men on get profile but then go on to say that neither of you can see each others profiles.

You have been extremely graphic in some of your previous posts, I sincerley hope your daughter never read them.

As I said before, there are some things parents and children should not share. Being open with your child about sex, relationships etc is one thing but this is a whole different ball game!!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some interests that a parent and child simply should not share and for me, this is one of them.

couldnt have put it better myself

Me too.

I would like to add that having read many of your public posts, I would be more concerned about your daughter knowing how many guys in 1 session or other sessions you have been playing with and the shenanigans you claim to have been involved in, think its a bit brazen to be criticising your daughter, I would have thought there wouldn't be many guys for your daughter to be involved with in your area if your claims are true

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you had stayed on track with the original question I might have thought differently, but as I say it looked like there was more to it going by your other posts.

We are all different and obviously others are free to do as they want to but I wouldn't have discussed my daughter on a website whatever the reason.

To the OP....I don't know if the word you are looking for is sensitive....but I don't think I would be happy playing with a relatives playmates. "

I think I got a little overly defensive in subsequent posts. But have got some great answers and mostly feel justified in my thoughts. And as my daughter has now agreed not to meet on purpose guys I do, then I think no matter what everyone's _iews are a good result has been reached

I appreciate all comments even those that differ from my _iews. A few things made me think about doing things a little differently. So all is good

I just hope it's a phase she grows out of.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There are some interests that a parent and child simply should not share and for me, this is one of them.

couldnt have put it better myself

Me too.

My posts on here were long before she was involved. And there are always new men on here. Even with my appetite. Jealousy is a nasty trait

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol jealousy , mmmmmm

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as usual Cali i empathise with you ...if you love sex so much and are not the "vanilla" type of course its likely your child/ren might take a similar path..I understand your feelings about it and I would feel very uncomfortable meeting the same guys too,partly as it would bring up a competitiveness with my daughter which can only be a negative thing ?

You are doing everything you can,so yes..have a heart to heart and tell her how you feel.. And dont listen to all the judgemental hypocrits on here...I cant stand the attitude to parenting where people try to appear to be asexual and holier than thou with their children.To delete my profile if my daughter came on here would seem as if I was ashamed,and I am not.I wouldnt indulge in a pasttime I thought was dirty or wrong.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

WOW

I feel sorry for your daughter I really do."

Why is my fun which is actually my lifestyle choice too less important. And our relationship is very good considering I hadn't had her in my life till just over a year ago. Don't worry her and I are fine.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cali don't email me with a shit email then block so as I can't respond, you published your post on here, if you don't like your replays then don't post, or is it that your so selfish your only interested in the ones which agree with you,.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/13 17:46:16]

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cali don't email me with a shit email then block so as I can't respond, you published your post on here, if you don't like your replays then don't post, or is it that your so selfish your only interested in the ones which agree with you,.

I messaged privately for the reason I didn't want to put on here what backs up my claims. I have already said thanks to all. I'm only answering this. I just didn't want to put number or details publicly.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Before I land myself in bother with the moderators by reacting to the little personal digs about if I really do what I do. Or react to the other comments ( being careful for reason.)I'm not going to comment further but thanks to all the responses.I will respond privately if need be.

Thank you.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

There are some interests that a parent and child simply should not share and for me, this is one of them.

couldnt have put it better myself

Me too.

This may appear harsh, but sorry this sums up my thoughts too.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Shenangins? be worried about how many men someone has met ?

Surely just being on a swinging site should make people less judgmental about how many people someone has met for sex

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Again I have had pvt mail from the op.

Clearly I have enraged somehow ms Cali . So I shall offer my unreserved apologies to her for whatever offence I have posted in this forum ???.

So having given it much thought whilst taking dog for a walk. I have come up with the solution to her dilemma. Fear not this will undoubtably end the dilemma of said mother and daughter sharing accidentally or deliberately the same man,,,at different times may I add.

So here it is, the answer to their issues, no more selfishness, no more worrying if she or she had him first, , Eyebrows raised, thiis solution is clearly available via her own profile, how it has passed by so many without recognising the solution beggars belief lol, here it is , 48 hr ban coming my way lol

Tell your daughter,,, that she can do Celtic supporters/ Catholics. And you stick with rangers supporters/Protestants, that way never shall the 2 of you become entwined .

Problem solved xxx

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

No need for personal digs or having a pop at the OP..

sometimes i have to check to see if i have not logged on to the daily mail forum..

almost like some people cant help but look down their noses at what others get up to..

advice yes, having a dig..no need at all..

we are all different people and have differing interests and pastimes which some in the vanilla world would have us labled as deviant perverts with all the sleazy connotations one may attach to those...

Whatever works for one is exactly that, if not for you why have a dig..?

sad..

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whose had a dig ???. Facts stated,

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is not a post attacking you, so hopefully you won't take offence.

My question is regarding you asking such a sensitive question on such an open forum.

Surlely on such a delicate matter you have a close circle of friends you would go to rather than 100-1000's of people you don't know. Whilst I appreciate you have friends on here.

It's like going to a championship football match with your friends and having the conversation over the tannoy, stood next to your friends, not knowing if your daughters in the ground too.

I really hope you sort this issue out as it can't be easy for either of you.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is Lucy ...i thought forums were about opinions ...all i can say is op is private mailing n i have replied ...blocked for a second time by her..emailing us to keep nos down bulls* ..if you don't want folk to disagree don't put on forum ...don't private mail then block because you don't want hear a reply .....you need to have a look at yourself no-one judged you but you emailed n tried judging me ....go away you horrible insecure female ....rant over sorry everyone but i will not have her doing sneaky emails....Lucy xox.....

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is not a post attacking you, so hopefully you won't take offence.

My question is regarding you asking such a sensitive question on such an open forum.

Surlely on such a delicate matter you have a close circle of friends you would go to rather than 100-1000's of people you don't know. Whilst I appreciate you have friends on here.

It's like going to a championship football match with your friends and having the conversation over the tannoy, stood next to your friends, not knowing if your daughters in the ground too.

I really hope you sort this issue out as it can't be easy for either of you. "
your right in saying this ...... And if she is not looking reading this maybe her friends are and no telling thay could be making fun of her and saying all sorts not just being there as a mate .. I know your a open woman but for some this is a no no its crossing the line .. with there values and so not easy .

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is Lucy ...i thought forums were about opinions ...all i can say is op is private mailing n i have replied ...blocked for a second time by her..emailing us to keep nos down bulls* ..if you don't want folk to disagree don't put on forum ...don't private mail then block because you don't want hear a reply .....you need to have a look at yourself no-one judged you but you emailed n tried judging me ....go away you horrible insecure female ....rant over sorry everyone but i will not have her doing sneaky emails....Lucy xox....."
I had that once makes you spit you cant get your side out only in public , lol and some things people may not under stand as you have posts to your in box,

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was blocked by you. So just blocked back. I also mailed privately after I said I would not carry on participating

I didn't want to put numbers. And me insecure. God that's something I've not been called before.

I wonder sometimes. I get told would it not be better to keep things private. So I replied private then get called names for it.

Can't win really. I only contacted you because you said I was lying.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where did I say you lied, Firstly , you mailed us then you posted, so on that one yes you lied.

Also if anyone said to post discretely I'm sure they meant not to broadcast you've had 50 guys or whatever where your daughter can read it

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh forgot, no we didn't block you hence why there's 4 emails from you. Get a grip

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh forgot, no we didn't block you hence why there's 4 emails from you. Get a grip"

You blocked me as I tried to reply. I don't wish to discuss this as it's against the rules. As a regular poster on here if I blocked everyone who failed to agree with me I wouldn't be able to post to anyone

I had replied privately because I didn't want discuss in detail my antics on a thread my daughter may well post on.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've already iterated that your daughter doesn't use the forums ????????? Also you did not email to discuss your antics in detail, so where you are getting those 2 ideas from I don't know, you have pvt mail us 4 times , how exactly we're you blocked if that is possible,. Tell the truth if you choose to publicly raise this issue

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And I have 3 replies. Nor was i nasty. Just asked you why you said my antics were not true.

I did post to you about my numbers and why I was being careful. I can't message you but you were not blocked by me. But was when I tried to answer your reply to me

You then choose to put the detail I was trying to leave out. My daughter read the post because some one sent her the link. We have discussed issues raised and come up with some more solutions.

Maybe I'm just to open for some people. Those that know me on here know it's very hard to offend me or rattle me.

Two exceptions are being called a liar or personal digs at friends. Now go have a fun night out and I will do the same

Daughter and I are off to totally different clubs with a new set of boundaries between us.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh forgot, no we didn't block you hence why there's 4 emails from you. Get a grip

I had replied privately because I didn't want discuss in detail my antics on a thread my daughter may well post on. "
. With the greatest respect your concern that your daughter may see the response to this post is somewhat misguided surely? The whole post is something she really didn't ought to be seeing at all and frankly the amount of men you've had is irrelevant. This is a swinging site after all not a knitting circle. The fact that your only concern about your daughter being on here is that you may or may not share men, I find somewhat bizarre when you are more than happy for her to know how many you've had and what you've done with them (graphically). There are two sides to an argument but it appears you are having both of them. Not an attack or a dig, just feel that your priorities are somewhat skewed here.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As far as I am aware my daughter has no idea on exactly what I do. It is certainly not something we discuss.

I just don't want to have men she has. She doesn't know what I do with them either. We just know who. Not what happens

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand that Cali but whenever a post appears about "what's the most amount of men you've had in one sitting" or "how many loads of spunk you have swallowed in a sitting" you post in them and on most occasions you done/had more than anyone who posts.

Once again this is not a dig but hopefully people including yourself and the mods see this as an open debate.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand that Cali but whenever a post appears about "what's the most amount of men you've had in one sitting" or "how many loads of spunk you have swallowed in a sitting" you post in them and on most occasions you done/had more than anyone who posts.

Once again this is not a dig but hopefully people including yourself and the mods see this as an open debate. "

So my point is if your daughter reads the forums then she knows everything anyway.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes you have 3 replies, you pvt mailed us then blocked, we posted on forum then you unblocked. Get the facts correct.

There was no detail given regarding numbers which are not openly _iewable by anyone including your daughter via your previous posts, also may I say, the numbers I quoted are sum what less than the numbers you chose to inform us you actually have .

You say 2 exceptions, neither of these have been stepped on. No one called you a liar , until you tried to disguise the true route you took regarding pvt mailing. There was also no personal digs, any quote was fact based on either your posts or profile typed by your own hands. Cum clean lol gies a blow job an tell the truth lol

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/13 19:53:13]

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think if she reads anything I'll cross that bridge. I doubt she would bat an eyelid.

I would hope if she saw my name she wouldn't read.

Till today she hadn't read forums. However now well who knows.

Had lots of.feedback and thanks. I'm happy with my.decisions.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think if she reads anything I'll cross that bridge. I doubt she would bat an eyelid.

I would hope if she saw my name she wouldn't read.

Till today she hadn't read forums. However now well who knows.

Had lots of.feedback and thanks. I'm happy with my.decisions.

"
sorry I'm confused? You said that you Pm' someone as you didn't want to risk your daughter seeing it but now u say she doesn't go on the forums? Which is it?

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*munches popcorn*

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think if she reads anything I'll cross that bridge. I doubt she would bat an eyelid.

I would hope if she saw my name she wouldn't read.

Till today she hadn't read forums. However now well who knows.

Had lots of.feedback and thanks. I'm happy with my.decisions.

sorry I'm confused? You said that you Pm' someone as you didn't want to risk your daughter seeing it but now u say she doesn't go on the forums? Which is it?"

I said I pmed details to someone as I knew my daughter has seen this thread..So didnt want to put about exact things..

She hasnt till this thread gone onto the forums to my knowledge. However as she was reading the thread.. I tried to keep things off this one..

Hope that makes sense.

I hadnt really thought about not being open becauseof her possibly seeing things.. I guess because to me being how I am is a huge part of being me.

I am certainly not ashamed of nor do I find anything wrong with being a swinger.. my only real concerns is not sharing a partner with my daughter.

To be honest I guess I was being a bit naive to think that she won't at some point have someone point out to her about my antics.

BUt that is between her and me.. and I doubt very much she would bat an eyelid at... although perhaps she may tell me to shhh more when I ask her about who she has met.. and tell her "again" when she says she is meeting.

She tells me so I know where she is... I am very thankful that I tend to know who she is.. and yes I do sometimes ask someone I know to watch out for her at a club..

This thread has done great things between her and I... mostly she realised that I am not just saying things to be a bitch.. but because I want to protect her a little.

She does know how I feel about her being in something that I consider to be my domain.. And its led to a lovely conversation this evening.

She is dying to be fair to post on here but cant/won't as she would then be saying tada.. here I am..

Some may not agree with her being into swinging.. and I agree about not being at the same clubs...I found it ackward but at the time..I didnt know what else to do...

I think this is a case of until it happens you can not know how you would react.

I never knew my mum was a swinger while she was alive.. I knew she was a bit wild... but you know even knowing now what I do.. it changes nothing on what I think of my mum.. she was my mum... she loved me and always did the best she could by me and my siblings.. but she was also her own person.

I use my fun as a way to address the balance in my life... I life it how I feel is right for me.. and yes some won't agree and I don't expect you too.. Same as I dont agree with all others do..

Hopefully after this thread the my daughter and I can put this behind her.. I have reminded her today the need to be careful in this lifestyle...

Thankyou again to all.. even those that I seem to have upset.. I should have just answered on here.. rather that trying to be a little more subtle for a change..

I think me and subtle don't mix.. I am me.. and well..I won't apologise for that.. as there is one thing I know I am good at..and that is being myself.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately