FabSwingers.com forum: Is it just me or do women just move irate on this for no reason ???

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Unresponsive and rude id rather be told I ain’t the one then be ignored (manners)

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

No reply = no thank you, it's in the site rules.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't bother me in the slightest

If I don't get a reply

I'm not owed anything on here

What will be will be

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

What makes you think you're owed their time or attention?

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By *xXgemmaXxXCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

I ignore and delete messages from people we are not interested in especially if they quite clearly haven’t read our profile as more often than not replying only results in questioning why we aren’t interested, persuasion tactics and in some cases abuse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don’t feel owed nothing at all but I feel like how can you know a person without a lil chit chat…. Obz I’m not really a swinger like that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I hear that I dunooo I’m quite respectful and always deal with women we’ll always read profiles but dunoo brushed off …. How should I improve my profile I’m not a show show person this ain’t my world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They dont owe u a response. I get blanked all the time. I just block & move on lol there’s someone on here for u somewhere

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By *klifeCouple
over a year ago

reading

No response is a response… normally no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without a profile picture, many will delete the message without even reading it.

Men massively outnumber women, so it is hard to stand out, but there is a good guide here:

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/51490

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unresponsive and rude id rather be told I ain’t the one then be ignored (manners) "

I would also add single women…maybe the case with couple profiles as well. We receive a lot of messages. When it gets beyond 2000 unread messages I find I have to hide my profile and let fab do its thing to auto delete a bunch of messages because it can get overwhelming. So your so called initial reaction may not be as warranted as you think it may be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Without a profile picture, many will delete the message without even reading it.

Men massively outnumber women, so it is hard to stand out, but there is a good guide here:

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/51490

Good luck

I like people like you. Helpful. I could use this myself

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By *MCMan
over a year ago

London/EA

Putting it bluntly… Why does a lady who gets a couple of hundred messages a day owe a reply to someone who’s made minimal effort in their profile?

What can she/they gauge from your profile?

Most will instant delete because you haven’t even decided to upload a photo or verify yourself

Good luck with your messages OP.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I hear you i don’t really wanna stand out lol but il definitely look appreciated

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ve verified myself mate I hear the rest doe

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By *imisugarWoman
over a year ago

Rugby

"Putting it bluntly… Why does a lady who gets a couple of hundred messages a day owe a reply to someone who’s made minimal effort in their profile?

What can she/they gauge from your profile?

Most will instant delete because you haven’t even decided to upload a photo or verify yourself

Good luck with your messages OP. "

Really agree with all of this.

You didn't ask for profile feedback specifically, please familiarise yourself with the site rules.

I'm personally fed up of politely saying no thank you to get abuse or the same person making multiple accounts just to continue messaging around being blocked. It's really off putting.

Put in what you want to get out of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Copied and pasted from the FaQ's .........

There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I don't know what "irate on this means" but you are not entitled to a response. Most of the messages we get are absolute horse shit and not worth the time of day. Imagine an inbox full of those and guys getting uppity if they don't get a response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give him a break he’s obvs new

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By *MCMan
over a year ago

London/EA

"I’ve verified myself mate I hear the rest doe "

Top man, hopefully with the advice of the others above too you’ll pick up some good pointers.

Search for a group social in your area and get yourself to that, meet some new people along with getting a verification from someone too

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Like others have said I'd delete a message from a profile with no public pics at all .

Rightly or wrongly I always think they're hiding something & there's nothing there to pique my interest.

Your profile needs to show people what you offer and why they should take a chance on you.

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By *olf and RedCouple
over a year ago

Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston

IMO you need some photos. No profile photo and no others, always seems lazy to me.

Red

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

OP, do you reply to every single spam leaflet or email, asking for more information so you could make an informed decision about the product or service being offered? Or if you're in a shop, do you check out every single item, just in case you may like or need it, or just those that caught your attention? I guess not, as that would take up far too much of your time. Same with Fab- why would I interact with someone whose profile does not take my fancy, no matter how amazing that person is? They're not very likely to change my initial impression that I got from their profile.

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By *ookie_and_NookieCouple
over a year ago

Kent

Spoken like someone who doesn’t get inundated with messages, fabs and friend requests! No one owes you anything. The sense of entitlement will definitely put people off.

C x

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Irate.

I do so adore when random men start telling me to calm down because I'm obviously just irrationally angry when I reply with a simple no thanks.

That's my favourite

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By *ookie_and_NookieCouple
over a year ago

Kent

"Irate.

I do so adore when random men start telling me to calm down because I'm obviously just irrationally angry when I reply with a simple no thanks.

That's my favourite

Bit like the ones who call you an ugly slapper when you say you don’t want a drink!

C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree x

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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

I have a loooooong profile. It will put many off. That is fine. But I want to get a feel for the person so I want to read a profile in return. My profile literally says the below in the first 2 paragraphs and I still get people upset at me deleting thier message or responding to my no thanks saying "Ask me what you want to know."

I appreciate the messages but if you haven't read my profile and haven't written more than a few lines of a description about yourself then I will delete your message. "But I am happy to answer anything you want to know": No, I want to know what YOU see as being important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll not find many people rushing to interact with a silhouette, no photos and limited text that doesn't 'sell' you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unresponsive and rude id rather be told I ain’t the one then be ignored (manners) "

Just because you took the time to say hello does not mean you are entitled to a woman’s time and energy to reject you, it also works both ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No reply = no thank you, it's in the site rules.

Mrs "

Preach it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is the number 1 problem with this site. This so called site 'rule' of ignorance. No response is rude im afraid, no matter what rules you decide to list it under. I leave a short private note against profiles that are like that just to remind myself not to bother as messages disappear and you can forget what's been said before.

You can construct the most polite relevant funny articulate cheeky message and have it deleted straight off desire matching them according to their profile.. yes the reaction doesn't help, so you have to I guess pick your battles lol ..

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

As a couple and as singles we get the frustration and how it can feel.

However people are here for seeking their own enjoyment and adventures. They don't come on here to deal with the administration of unsolicited messages from strangers and the potential abuse or weirdness. And what sort of a way do you want to say no thanks? Just no thanks, or some wordy disingenuous excuse? Because if you just want simply no thanks then what's the point?

So we don't take offence and see no messages = no thanks. We just put our big boy pants on and more on. No ome owes us their time an effort. We don't feel anyone owes us a reply as we don't anyone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most female profiles get loads of messages, so to respond to all that are of no interest takes up to much of my time. So generally I ignore them.

If I can tell it's a well thought out message, I might respond no thank you.

The rare occasion I have responded a polite no, the dude sees it as the start of a negotiation period. So I delete and move on instead of respond.

No one owes you there time.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Don’t feel owed nothing at all but I feel like how can you know a person without a lil chit chat…. Obz I’m not really a swinger like that "

That's what your profile is for, we read it and know if we're compatible or not.

No conversation needed.

Mrs

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Don’t feel owed nothing at all but I feel like how can you know a person without a lil chit chat…. Obz I’m not really a swinger like that "

You can't know a person without talking to them but most of us don't want to get to know people privately if there's no initial interest there. We have and are chatting privately with a few people, getting to find out if there's compatibility but it simply isn't possible to do that with everyone who contacts us-and we get very few messages, some get hundreds.

If you want to get your personality across to some people you could try joining in on forum threads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unresponsive and rude id rather be told I ain’t the one then be ignored (manners) "

Your profile shows no personality and now you've killed your chances

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

Chichester

Imagine getting upset over random strangers you never met … smh

Can’t logically process why anyone is even bothered if a stranger responds or not, at this point they are irrelevant to your life .

When you send your message op , go delete it from sent items so you are not looking at it to see if it’s been read / deleted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t feel owed nothing at all but I feel like how can you know a person without a lil chit chat…. Obz I’m not really a swinger like that "

Fab has an array of tools for all to use to express ourselves, mix the others and the likes.

Profile is the first and most important tool to catch attention.

A few pictures and a reasonable bio expressing what we hope to find here and what we can add to the mix can seriously help the next important step ....

Messages, if the profile is appealing, a message is more likely to be read, and positively.

If the message is enough to catch attention, you may be onto a winner.

Then there's the forum, chat room, social gatherings, swing clubs etc etc, all can be found here.

We are all here looking for our own enjoyment, not here for charity work.

Effort is your friend.

Without it, don't expect effort from others.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"No reply = no thank you, it's in the site rules.

Mrs "

Exactly this

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By *ootyfruityCouple
over a year ago

andover

When we open up our profile to single guys, there’s just not enough time in the day to answer them all!!

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By *erlins5Man
over a year ago

South Fife

The way I see it is that if I have sent a message totally unsolicited and out of the blue just because I like the look of a profile, then no one owes me a reply. It is nice to get one but if not its no drama.

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By *ootyfruityCouple
over a year ago

andover

Also 9 times out of 10, the sender hasn’t properly read our profile, they say their bisexual, but if it’s not on their profile we won’t answer, or out of our age range

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