FabSwingers.com forum: Polite no thank you

By *ohoho OP Woman
over a year ago

Up North

Good morning all you fabulous people.

I have a dilemma, I try to be polite and answer all messages, even if it is a polite no thank you. I try not to offend anyone as I believe you should treat people the way you would want to be treated.

However I find that if I give a reason why I am not interested. Ie height. People get really offended. Should I just give the same old - thank you for your message but I must politely decline?

I had one women who I declined and tried to explain why (as I am not really looking for a couple right now) who told me I was stuck up my own ass. It just made me laugh and I blocked her.

But I would love to hear from you all, advice is desperately needed x

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I tend not to give a reason. Unless its a 50 year old bloke for example because my profile states under 30. Then I just put I'm sorry but you are quite a bit over my age preference. I don't tend to point out physical attributes coz I wouldn't like if if it were done to me lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your not looking for couples use your filters on messages to stop them contacting you and when you feel ready remove it

Everyones a winner xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a generic thank you but sorry not interested is probably the best as people take reasons as a criticism ( unfortunately you can't please everyone) we are always polite and reply if we can as well x

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

I use the general not my type. If they want me to elaborate, I don't,as I feel that's my perogotive and I'm not being rude not answering that.

To be honest, you have to find what sits best with you because you're dammened if you do or dammened if you don't on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just say we are not meeting for a while (whether we are or not). Nobody can be offended at that and it spares their feelings

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By *ohoho OP Woman
over a year ago

Up North

I don't want to rule out couples as I am looking for a bi fem who will play alone.

Thanks for all your advice x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good morning all you fabulous people.

However I find that if I give a reason why I am not interested. Ie height. People get really offended. Should I just give the same old - thank you for your message but I must politely decline?

I had one women who I declined and tried to explain why (as I am not really looking for a couple right now) who told me I was stuck up my own ass. It just made me laugh and I blocked her.

But I would love to hear from you all, advice is desperately needed x"

i find its really nice to receive a reply back. am not offended when its a 'no thanks', but thats just me. as a single man, i expect to receive a lot of 'no thanks'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good morning all you fabulous people.

However I find that if I give a reason why I am not interested. Ie height. People get really offended. Should I just give the same old - thank you for your message but I must politely decline?

I had one women who I declined and tried to explain why (as I am not really looking for a couple right now) who told me I was stuck up my own ass. It just made me laugh and I blocked her.

But I would love to hear from you all, advice is desperately needed x"

You and that block button lol

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By *ohoho OP Woman
over a year ago

Up North

I only give a reason if they ask. Maybe I should not respond to the second message, that seems to be where I am going wrong x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say sorry your not for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sounds like you have manners.

keep them up,because its nice to be nice.

although sometimes get the urge to swear sometimes lol

lola and kev x

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

I usually just say something along the lines of "thanks for the message but unfortunately you aren't what Im looking for". Sometimes I get a further message asking why, but I dont tend to get into that, it is my perogative to say no! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always appreciate a thanks but no thanks message, regardless of the reason why.

My advice to you is just don't give a reason other than "you're not quite what I'm looking for". If they reply with abuse, report it and block them.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually just say something along the lines of "thanks for the message but unfortunately you aren't what Im looking for". Sometimes I get a further message asking why, but I dont tend to get into that, it is my perogative to say no! x"

I think that is the danger of saying 'not for me' or 'you are not my type' people naturally think...why not or what is wrong with them!

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

I think that is the danger of saying 'not for me' or 'you are not my type' people naturally think...why not or what is wrong with them!"

True, but with some people you will never win! Thats why I usually choose not to further the conversation - I mean, if they arent my type, they arent my type - not much more to say....but some people do get a bit desperate! Lol

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I'm here for MY fun. My profile is written to attract the type of person I'm looking for. My profile clearly states I won't respond to anyone outwith what I'm looking for.

I read the profile before the message. If they don't match, delete message unread. If they meet what I'm looking for but I don't like something about their profile I always send a reply along the lines "thanks for your message but you're not what I'm looking for at this time". If they write back I delete their message unread.

It works for me, no angst, no bother.

I don't understand why people get themselves into a tiswas about people they've never met or intend to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that is the danger of saying 'not for me' or 'you are not my type' people naturally think...why not or what is wrong with them!

Totally right and we like to try and reply with something that they can't really end up answering back to

We keep getting told we are too nice to be on here lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi AJ firstly I would just like to say at least you attempt to answer all messages lots dont. Now I think a polite "thanks but no thanks" is sufficent for anyone to understand. When I get such a message I simply message back thanking for the polite reply and wishing them well in the future. I have suggested to admin it would be handy to have an auto reply button saying exactly that "thanks but no thanks". I think that way people will use it more and I think be more acceptable of a small rejection and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same as above, we always say outright that its a no from us, thanks and have fun. I think in all the time we've been here only one got truly agitated. Nearly always they come back and say thanks for at least responding x

It's nice to be important, but it's important to be nice x

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

The majority of the time I say thanks but no thanks. But recently I have had why not and when given an answer Ive had a reply with a rant or a nasty comment. Including my profile is not friendly (why they messaged me in the first place who knows!)

So at the moment Im only replying when I feel like it.

Get fed up when people havent read my profile especially when they have wont meet smokers and it clearly says Im a smoker

Dont see what the fuss is about not replying.

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

It's nice to be important, but it's important to be nice x"

But what about those who arent nice back?

That is why I have mainly given up replying. Im not the type who gets off on cyber s&m

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that is the danger of saying 'not for me' or 'you are not my type' people naturally think...why not or what is wrong with them!

If I'm replying to someone who has sent a polite message but I'm 99% sure i'll never be interested in meeting or chatting further, if i get a 'why not?' I'll apply the good old block button straight away.

This prevents the whole problem of abusive messages or repeat approaches - it's a tool available on site and I sometimes wonder why people have an aversion to using it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good morning all you fabulous people.

However I find that if I give a reason why I am not interested. Ie height. People get really offended. Should I just give the same old - thank you for your message but I must politely decline?

I had one women who I declined and tried to explain why (as I am not really looking for a couple right now) who told me I was stuck up my own ass. It just made me laugh and I blocked her.

But I would love to hear from you all, advice is desperately needed x"

I wish all women were like you - i rarely get an acknowledgement to a message.

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

To be honest, I have found there are a few very 'strange' people on the site recently.

Some profiles show signs of 'unstableness' (is there such a word?)

I dont think you can please all of the people all of the time. So I would carry on with the polite 'no thanks' and ignore those who come back with abuse.

Why change the way you are for the ignorant few.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply " no thankyou but have fun on here" if i get asked why not which i usually do i wont get into a whole argument i just say, "because i have the right to say no"

If im questioned more then i will block, but if people read profiles it would make life so much easier, i wouldn't message someone who was looking for pretty slim girls as that isn't me so i dont know why men put themselves through it when they dont match what im looking for.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Hi AJ firstly I would just like to say at least you attempt to answer all messages lots dont. Now I think a polite "thanks but no thanks" is sufficent for anyone to understand. When I get such a message I simply message back thanking for the polite reply and wishing them well in the future. I have suggested to admin it would be handy to have an auto reply button saying exactly that "thanks but no thanks". I think that way people will use it more and I think be more acceptable of a small rejection and move on."

You reckon?

I'm on another site that has just that. It also has amazing filters and sends automated messages if someone sends a message that doesn't have a pic, no profile text etc.

Are people happy? Yeah...right!

The site doesn't have a forum but it has a diary. The diary entries are full of men moaning about the filters, automated messages saying thanks no thanks.

You really can't please all the people all the time!

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By *onguePiercedTartMan
over a year ago

clayton

You will never please everybody so just a " sorry I'm not interested but happy swinging" should cut it and if they question you just block them, simple xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

going back to the OP

Sadly lots of testorone and men keeping using thier balls for brains

Yes its nice to get a reply but as i have said elswhere today; its not end of world if any message i send is deleated without reply at least you know where you stand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always reply to people that have read the profile and fit the criteria even if we do not feel compatible with a " No thanks , have fun" If they have not read the profile and do not meet the criteria, we generally delete the message.

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

warrington

I think its great that you try and reply to all messages and you do seem to be polite about it all. If I was you, I wouldnt respond to the second message asking why - you had your reasons and people should accept that.

I think that is part of the problem on here, too many people are hung up on the fact they might get rejected. This is an adult site for adults so all should accept that it is not a 'guaranteed shag' site. We all have different tastes and preferences, so if someone says no, be big enough to accept it. I know most of us do, but to the others.... Man Up!

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By *orkscrew CurlsWoman
over a year ago

Loughborough Leics

Doesn't anyone just tell the full, (brutal) truth? If people can't take it then why ask for it?

I tend not to in messages, but if someone asks me to meet in a chatroom, then I openly explain why...be it they don't meet my preferences, that they have nothing on their profile, that the pictures they have offend me, or whatever...some even thank me for being honest. How else will they learn?

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Just don't reply if they come back with a "Why not?", saves any hassle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say no thanks nothin more nothing less

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say no thanks nothin more nothing less

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