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Like it or not but there is racism in swinging

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference.

If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians.

If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people.

Asian men as bottom of the pecking order.

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

The rejection is always targeted at Asian men only. People happily meet an Asian woman though.

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

So mix of sexism and racism..

What are your thoughts?

Would to hear from other Asian men/women and couples , TS/cd

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

People have preferences.

Everyone has a niche.

As a freakishly tall girl well aware that the standard preference is for petite, does it do me any favours or bring me any joy to go on rants about people being heightist, or am I better off spending my energy on the people I'm attracted to who are attracted to me?

If someone has No Asians as a stated preference, move on, and be glad you knew that much before wasting your time on people you wouldn't be compatible with.

Is it inherently racist to have a preference? I don't think so. Are racists more likely to have and openly state that preference, sure. But why the fuck would you want to waste your time on racists regardless of what rave you are

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

To be honest, it is completely irrelevant within the context of FAB. The people who don't want to meet someone because of their skin colour, religion, or whatever, are never going to have their mind changed by telling them they're prejudiced.

Many people will actively avoid people who have these negative exclamations on their profiles, so it does help the rest of the site avoid them.

Cal

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay


"To be honest, it is completely irrelevant within the context of FAB. The people who don't want to meet someone because of their skin colour, religion, or whatever, are never going to have their mind changed by telling them they're prejudiced.

Many people will actively avoid people who have these negative exclamations on their profiles, so it does help the rest of the site avoid them.

Cal"

This

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

You post quite often asking specifically for Asian peeps only.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"People have preferences.

Everyone has a niche.

As a freakishly tall girl well aware that the standard preference is for petite, does it do me any favours or bring me any joy to go on rants about people being heightist, or am I better off spending my energy on the people I'm attracted to who are attracted to me?

If someone has No Asians as a stated preference, move on, and be glad you knew that much before wasting your time on people you wouldn't be compatible with.

Is it inherently racist to have a preference? I don't think so. Are racists more likely to have and openly state that preference, sure. But why the fuck would you want to waste your time on racists regardless of what rave you are "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are correct that everyone has their preference, I have mine and you will have yours.

Not everyone will be everyones choice.

I come across quite a few profiles that are "fatist" but don't put it out there quite that bluntly. More like "we like to keep fit and prefer others who do too."....

So what do I do?... Move on!

I feel for you that you are experiencing this racism.

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

Is this a daily thread now?

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"You are correct that everyone has their preference, I have mine and you will have yours.

Not everyone will be everyones choice.

I come across quite a few profiles that are "fatist" but don't put it out there quite that bluntly. More like "we like to keep fit and prefer others who do too."....

So what do I do?... Move on!

I feel for you that you are experiencing this racism. "

Not sure how that’s “fatist” tbh, but fair enough.

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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago

Ilkeston

From my opinion as long as people are being respectful and not using hate toward others then its ok to have preferences and we all find different people attractive. Theres a lot of people who wouldn’t find me attractive because i am typically quite young for the scene and thats okay. Theres no point in meeting someone who isn’t attracted to you as it wont be a fun time and thats what we are all here for however that may be.

As long as people are respectful of each other then the world would be a better place

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

OP - first words on your profile ‘non judgemental’.

Yet you have announced that there is racism in swinging.

This is your perspective, you don’t get to decide other people’s perspective or preferences.

I’d be interested in hearing why you’ve reached this conclusion. I have my thoughts, but I’m not going to lead with them as a conversation starter.

Have fun

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"From my opinion as long as people are being respectful and not using hate toward others then its ok to have preferences and we all find different people attractive. Theres a lot of people who wouldn’t find me attractive because i am typically quite young for the scene and thats okay. Theres no point in meeting someone who isn’t attracted to you as it wont be a fun time and thats what we are all here for however that may be.

As long as people are respectful of each other then the world would be a better place "

Couldn’t have said it better bud!

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"The rejection is always targeted at Asian men only. People happily meet an Asian woman though."

I have seen plenty of profiles that state no black or no white.

I wouldn't specify a preference because regardless of skin colour, if someone is hot, they are hot. There are gorgeous women of all colour skins on here who I would happily spend some fun time with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can’t hate people for their preference, I agree there are more people saying “no Asians” than anyone or anything else but can’t blame them.

Everyone’s got a preference or type, that could be race, height, weight, body type etc

Even most Asian single or couples tend to say no Asians and they have their reasonings

But there are also people who don’t care and don’t mind asians, just gotta find them

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

There’s racism everywhere and people on here often hide behind “preference”.

Wouldn’t Let it bother you, if you think someone’s racist you wouldn’t wanna be in their company any way! x

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By *over757Man
over a year ago

Vera Spain

If a man says "no men" is that homophobic or just a personal choice?

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By *ritIndianCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We have had racist messages in our inbox which was upsetting at first but now just block them. Wouldn’t want to meet anyone who would write no Asians on their profile anyway. Don’t let it bother you. It’s not worth it. Life is too short. Plenty of others to have fun with.

Mrs

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"If a man says "no men" is that homophobic or just a personal choice?"

Is sexuality a choice?!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure whether this will help. I was in two minds about posting it, but it is just a thought, not a criticism!

Maybe it's simply because many women don't feel safe with Asian men. "Honour" issues and "grooming" - carried out by a minority - have reflected badly on the whole community. It's not fair but it's not specifically racist. Men would likely not have the same fear of Asian women.

I may be completely wrong, and I have no wish to offend, but women are killed every week by men, so the perceived risk is an important factor. I don't know how that risk can be reduced and trust increased, but I think the answer needs to come from the community.

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By *leased to meet youTV/TS
over a year ago

Southend-on-Sea

Nothing to do with racism so stop with the race card.just because so folk are not interested in you!

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"You post quite often asking specifically for Asian peeps only. "

I'm Asian so only only fair to show love to the folks not been shown love

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"Nothing to do with racism so stop with the race card.just because so folk are not interested in you!"

Not just me, it's across the board with Asian men

As I said why just Asian men..why isn't the same level of rejection shown to other races/nationalities

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"If a man says "no men" is that homophobic or just a personal choice?

Is sexuality a choice?!? "

Is having sexy with non Asian people a sexuality?

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"Not sure whether this will help. I was in two minds about posting it, but it is just a thought, not a criticism!

Maybe it's simply because many women don't feel safe with Asian men. "Honour" issues and "grooming" - carried out by a minority - have reflected badly on the whole community. It's not fair but it's not specifically racist. Men would likely not have the same fear of Asian women.

I may be completely wrong, and I have no wish to offend, but women are killed every week by men, so the perceived risk is an important factor. I don't know how that risk can be reduced and trust increased, but I think the answer needs to come from the community."

You're not offending but sharing your view so it's all good

And you could be right such wider negative connotations can have impact generally in perceptions too

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"You post quite often asking specifically for Asian peeps only.

I'm Asian so only only fair to show love to the folks not been shown love "

It goes both ways.

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"We have had racist messages in our inbox which was upsetting at first but now just block them. Wouldn’t want to meet anyone who would write no Asians on their profile anyway. Don’t let it bother you. It’s not worth it. Life is too short. Plenty of others to have fun with.

Mrs "

That's sweet thank you

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"If a man says "no men" is that homophobic or just a personal choice?"

If one person says it ok. But if you saw that everywhere you went would that then give you some kind feeling there an underlying issues somewhere?

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"Can’t hate people for their preference, I agree there are more people saying “no Asians” than anyone or anything else but can’t blame them.

Everyone’s got a preference or type, that could be race, height, weight, body type etc

Even most Asian single or couples tend to say no Asians and they have their reasonings

But there are also people who don’t care and don’t mind asians, just gotta find them"

Doesn't bother me mate, just made and shared an observation..

Plenty of open minded, non judgemental people about

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By *leased to meet youTV/TS
over a year ago

Southend-on-Sea

OP your sounding like you have a chip on your shoulder. It's my preference that I have no interest in Asian or black guys.it does not mean I'm racist.

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"OP - first words on your profile ‘non judgemental’.

Yet you have announced that there is racism in swinging.

This is your perspective, you don’t get to decide other people’s perspective or preferences.

I’d be interested in hearing why you’ve reached this conclusion. I have my thoughts, but I’m not going to lead with them as a conversation starter.

Have fun

"

I'm definitely non judgemental.. making an observation isn't judgmental..

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

I male half only prefer females...does that make me homophobic o.p ???

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By *hinstrapMan
over a year ago

Barnsley


"If a man says "no men" is that homophobic or just a personal choice?

Is sexuality a choice?!? "

Was just thinking the same. It's all down to personal preference. Too many people are always ready to wave the racist flag.

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By *elboy1957Man
over a year ago

Weston-super-Mare

The biggest block is age almost over 80% state 55 max, but that's their choice. Where do you draw the line at what people perfer, to just saying they don't like over 55s?

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

If was looking to rent and one or two landlords said no men..then I looked more and the more landlords said no men.

That would definitely indicate an issue right?

People have preference, I have no issues.

But are preference informed by prejudice ok?

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"The biggest block is age almost over 80% state 55 max, but that's their choice. Where do you draw the line at what people perfer, to just saying they don't like over 55s?"

Even over 55s?

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By *esmond and Molly JonesCouple
over a year ago

Watford


"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference.

If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians.

If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people.

Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. "

Absolute and utter nonsense. When will people stop playing the race card. We all have a choice. We can have sex with whoever we like. I choose white European people. Stop telling me that I have to be 'inclusive'. I am exclusive I'm my preferences. Is a black person only wanting to meet black people racist too?

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By *zael ElohimMan
over a year ago

Scarborough

I don't care what race anyone is. Or even sexually compatible humanoid. If I am attracted to a being then I am attracted to a being.

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"There’s racism everywhere and people on here often hide behind “preference”.

Wouldn’t Let it bother you, if you think someone’s racist you wouldn’t wanna be in their company any way! x"

******" This *********

The lady summed it up, and she's not an Asian ,nor an Asian make. So I leave it here?!

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By *ew2it.deCouple
over a year ago

Stoke on Trent

Well said.

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By *ew2it.deCouple
over a year ago

Stoke on Trent

[Removed by poster at 20/05/23 16:44:01]

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By *ew2it.deCouple
over a year ago

Stoke on Trent


"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference.

If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians.

If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people.

Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. "

Seriously??

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By *ew2it.deCouple
over a year ago

Stoke on Trent


"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference.

If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians.

If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people.

Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. "

Seriously??

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"There’s racism everywhere and people on here often hide behind “preference”.

Wouldn’t Let it bother you, if you think someone’s racist you wouldn’t wanna be in their company any way! x

******" This *********

The lady summed it up, and she's not an Asian ,nor an Asian make. So I leave it here?!"

Keep it in mind next time you post up an “Asian only” type thread then.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"If was looking to rent and one or two landlords said no men..then I looked more and the more landlords said no men.

That would definitely indicate an issue right?

People have preference, I have no issues.

But are preference informed by prejudice ok?"

Those landlords are generally looking for that fantasy of trading rent for sex. Otherwise, unless you're a man trying to find housing in a women's refuge then you're unlikely to come across the issue, and can probably report the people for the equalities act

Nobody is required to have sex with someone they're not attracted to in the name of equality.

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By *ew2it.deCouple
over a year ago

Stoke on Trent


"If a man says "no men" is that homophobic or just a personal choice?"

Perfect

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"If was looking to rent and one or two landlords said no men..then I looked more and the more landlords said no men.

That would definitely indicate an issue right?

People have preference, I have no issues.

But are preference informed by prejudice ok?

Those landlords are generally looking for that fantasy of trading rent for sex. Otherwise, unless you're a man trying to find housing in a women's refuge then you're unlikely to come across the issue, and can probably report the people for the equalities act

Nobody is required to have sex with someone they're not attracted to in the name of equality."

Where has anyone said anything otherwise?

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By *hanfunnew OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"There’s racism everywhere and people on here often hide behind “preference”.

Wouldn’t Let it bother you, if you think someone’s racist you wouldn’t wanna be in their company any way! x

******" This *********

The lady summed it up, and she's not an Asian ,nor an Asian make. So I leave it here?!

Keep it in mind next time you post up an “Asian only” type thread then. "

It's never been Asian only thread as you have commented in them ... Which was welcomed

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"Where has anyone said anything otherwise?"

It's not racist to have a physical preference is the point. It's when they're an ass about it that it's a problem.

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By *ew2it.deCouple
over a year ago

Stoke on Trent

[Removed by poster at 20/05/23 16:59:43]

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By *ew2it.deCouple
over a year ago

Stoke on Trent


"Well said. "

Sorry this comment was for somewhere else.

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By *esi70Man
over a year ago

Blackburn

I'm south asian and I know people have preferences, but I've been on here many years, under a different user name too (I went off then came back), and I've never yet met anyone from here or received a message or reply to a message.

I see frustration in the OP's post.

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

Mansfield

Fuck me. Change the record.

Pick another card to throw. Sick of hearing the racist one.

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

Mansfield


"There’s racism everywhere and people on here often hide behind “preference”.

Wouldn’t Let it bother you, if you think someone’s racist you wouldn’t wanna be in their company any way! x

******" This *********

The lady summed it up, and she's not an Asian ,nor an Asian make. So I leave it here?!

Keep it in mind next time you post up an “Asian only” type thread then. "

Bang on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If was looking to rent and one or two landlords said no men..then I looked more and the more landlords said no men.

That would definitely indicate an issue right?

People have preference, I have no issues.

But are preference informed by prejudice ok?"

Landlord is not the same as sex.

If someone wants to fuck X but not Y and that's from a place of racism and/or prejudice, so what ?

I really could not give a flying fuck if someone says that I am prejudiced or racist or homophobic or sexist or ageist or whatever.

They aren't going to guilt trip me into fucking ANYONE that I'm not attracted to!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Again?

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By *andC1000Couple
over a year ago

Ashford


"Nothing to do with racism so stop with the race card.just because so folk are not interested in you!"

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

Mansfield


"OP - first words on your profile ‘non judgemental’.

Yet you have announced that there is racism in swinging.

This is your perspective, you don’t get to decide other people’s perspective or preferences.

I’d be interested in hearing why you’ve reached this conclusion. I have my thoughts, but I’m not going to lead with them as a conversation starter.

Have fun

"

Oh so eloquently put.

I must admit I'm getting a bit peeved at these posts at the moment.

Ppl seem to think that because they've been rejected, turned down or whatever way you want to write it that it must be a race thing.

THEY DON'T FIND YOU SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE.

Deal with it. It's a swingers site ffs

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I've met plenty of black racists, Asian racists and white racists, I've also met liars, cheats and a couple of murderers. Part of being an adult is accepting that some people are damaged or downright rotten.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These threads are common, and never go well.

Some people are quick to cry racism, when it isn't, some people are quick to call bullshit, when it quite clearly is.

Society is a mess, it really is, and within the swinging 'community', there absolutely is racism, there is also preference, sometimes the boundaries are blurry.

I have seen several profiles stating .... BBC only, or no blacks and more.

Of course, the negativity that touches you will stand out.

I imagine it's disheartening, each time you see such a comment in profiles.

Unfortunately, there's nothing that can be done to change that, we can't force people to have sex with those b they choose not to do, regardless of their reasoning, we do have free speech (within reason) in this country, and online is no different.

I'd try to take the positive in that you know not to waste any time on any profile stating such a thing.

Good luck with your search, OP.

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By *andyrod1Man
over a year ago

St Margaret's at Cliffe

Some people like A, some like B, others like C, it is called personal preference, if you cannot grasp this basic concept then this might not be the site for you.

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By *untimes wantedMan
over a year ago

Huddersfield

First i will start by saying i meet Asians in fact prefer them my partner is Asian born in an Asian country.

Why is it most Asian's all live in the same areas/have their own schools build their own communities .Its because they feel more comfortable with people from a similar background and culture.Although due to this many won't meet fellow asians due to fear of being outed in those communities and shunned.

Same could be for whites on here that they just feel more comfortable with other's from a similar racial and cultural background to themselves.

Black guys it can go 2 ways for some they play on and use peoples obsession with porn and what its percieved all black guys are about ,while other hate it and any reference to bbc etc would get you blocked.

And OP i know your profile says your straight so its just an observation had you been on fabguys and looking for guys your profile is decently written i can see you put time and thought into writing it would prob have encourged me to contact you.

However reading posts like this on the forum would have totally put me off.

no matter the reasons for a persons preferences .its their preference not yours and making these threads won't change that view.

If it says no asians on a profile just move on as is little point in getting upset over something you can't change

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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch


"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference.

If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians.

If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people.

Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. "

It's not racism. If it was racism, it would be white swingers saying they only meet white people.

What they are rejecting is not your race but your 'culture'.

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

? Martin Luther King Jr.

It may be prejudice to assume that Asian men consider swinger ladies as cheap whores, who don't need respect, unlike women in their own family who would never want to be uninhibited and 'unfaithful'.

The cultural stereotypes may be outdated and wrong, but they exist. And if the people near you hold these beliefs, go to socials and clubs, and show them that their assumptions are wrong.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference.

If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians.

If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people.

Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. "

. If you break it into 3 categories single men , single women , couples then single men are still bottom of the pecking order

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

Sexual attraction preferences have nothing to do with racism. Woman I’m attracted to saying no one under 6ft ! That’s goes against me but it’s her attraction preference. Anyone who can’t separate this from real racism is lacking a bit intelligence in my view

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. "

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"Sexual attraction preferences have nothing to do with racism. Woman I’m attracted to saying no one under 6ft ! That’s goes against me but it’s her attraction preference. Anyone who can’t separate this from real racism is lacking a bit intelligence in my view "

Do you think such a woman would get a tape measure out if she saw a guy that ticked all the boxes but he was only 5'11?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference."

Why is your preference for blonde?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

[Removed by poster at 20/05/23 18:55:18]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference."

It could simply be their comfort zone, most people stay close to what they know, what they've been around most of their lives

Stating Asian may be a cultural difference concern, rather than colour.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *d4funtimesMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

Unfortunately, it exists in many forms, and on many levels in society. Racial disparities have long left unchallenged. It is illegal to treat people differently because of their race or culture. If it happens to you, remember, no one has the right to make you feel bad or abuse you for who you are.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby

For me we will meet anyone size colour etc is not important.Being respectful and courteous and friendly is so important.Asian guys have mailed recently and not even given us 20 mins to reply before saying "guess you don't like Asians" this is offences as I am actually part Asian myself.

I'm putting this out there as it's not about your ethnicity but actually about who you are as a person.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say that the best sex I ever had was with a very sexy Indian guy so never had a problem with race x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

It could simply be their comfort zone, most people stay close to what they know, what they've been around most of their lives

Stating Asian may be a cultural difference concern, rather than colour.

"

Past bad experience for Roxy is why we state not into Asian guys. Could narrow it down, but figured we’d get way more grief if we did.

Tbh if people call us racist because of that, they’re not people we’d get on with anyway so brilliant filter both ways.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"I'm putting this out there as it's not about your ethnicity but actually about who you are as a person."

Exactly this. Can’t go into it due to rules either.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Personally we have colleagues, friends and family of a variety of ethnicities.. We enjoy their company and like/love them all as people.

Does that mean because we don't necessarily want to fuck them we're racist?!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

I really don't think people should be policing the product of peoples sexual desires. I get without neaunce there is technical racism when people have a specification or simply a preference in terms of race and attraction. However we are attracted to who we are attracted to. We have the kinks and perversions we have. Their origins may be problematic but they are a core part of an individuals sexuallity. You cant say to people they should have sex with people they are not attracted to. Same as we shouldn't shame people for their other sexual desires. I think it's fair enough to investigate and challenge racism in society. But I think you should tred carefully when you criticise people for their sexal desires and taste for which are ingrained and they can not help.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why is your preference for blonde?"

I find them slightly more attractive. Line 2 identical twins up, one blonde and one brunette, I would go for the blonde.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

It could simply be their comfort zone, most people stay close to what they know, what they've been around most of their lives

Stating Asian may be a cultural difference concern, rather than colour.

"

Where I live in Scotland, about 2% are not white. I certainly wouldn't have an objection to a non-white. In fact, line up equally attractive white and Asian ladies, I would probably go for the Asian. Something new.

But, yes, get your point about comfort zones.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

It could simply be their comfort zone, most people stay close to what they know, what they've been around most of their lives

Stating Asian may be a cultural difference concern, rather than colour.

Where I live in Scotland, about 2% are not white. I certainly wouldn't have an objection to a non-white. In fact, line up equally attractive white and Asian ladies, I would probably go for the Asian. Something new.

But, yes, get your point about comfort 8zones. "

Whereas I was brought up in a predominantly Asian area, with the cultural differences really creating disharmony.

I think for some, it's the knowledge of the differences and the comfort zone of their own 'kind', for want of a better word.

Some time back, I got very close with an Asian, Muslim lady.

As it looked as though things may progress, she put a stop to anything happening between us, telling me that she has feelings for me but nothing could happen, because if her friends, family and community found out about us, that I'm a non Muslim and white, she would be disowned, and shunned.

I pointed out that her brother was also seeing a non Muslim, white person.

Her response was, that's ignored because he's male, and they see her as a slag.

So I believe, the problem is cultural differences, rather than colour or race.

When these cultures combine, we'll take bigger steps forward for a less divisive society.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

It could simply be their comfort zone, most people stay close to what they know, what they've been around most of their lives

Stating Asian may be a cultural difference concern, rather than colour.

Where I live in Scotland, about 2% are not white. I certainly wouldn't have an objection to a non-white. In fact, line up equally attractive white and Asian ladies, I would probably go for the Asian. Something new.

But, yes, get your point about comfort 8zones.

Whereas I was brought up in a predominantly Asian area, with the cultural differences really creating disharmony.

I think for some, it's the knowledge of the differences and the comfort zone of their own 'kind', for want of a better word.

Some time back, I got very close with an Asian, Muslim lady.

As it looked as though things may progress, she put a stop to anything happening between us, telling me that she has feelings for me but nothing could happen, because if her friends, family and community found out about us, that I'm a non Muslim and white, she would be disowned, and shunned.

I pointed out that her brother was also seeing a non Muslim, white person.

Her response was, that's ignored because he's male, and they see her as a slag.

So I believe, the problem is cultural differences, rather than colour or race.

When these cultures combine, we'll take bigger steps forward for a less divisive society.

"

That sounds like a cultural problem within that culture rather than someone from that background who makes choices that don't comply.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iredhandMan
over a year ago

Manchester

It has come to something when someone can’t express a preference without it being labelled racist. It very much sounds like entitlement. There are plenty on fab who don’t meet black guys, plenty who will only meet black guys. Is that racist too? If you’re struggling to meet on fab, there are thousands of other guys in the same position, but you always have the option to try another site or the real world.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

Everyone has has preferences op. It depends if it’s a preference or or exclusionary. I’m 5’6 most women in my area want 6ft plus. I don’t complain I just accept that I’m not what they want and move on.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ue and robCouple
over a year ago

ware

My preference is size 14 and above blonde women sometimes brunette women I'm not attracted to size 8 10 12 women red head women but I'm not racist to red heads just my preference

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing to do with racism so stop with the race card.just because so folk are not interested in you!

"

All of them!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"My preference is size 14 and above blonde women sometimes brunette women I'm not attracted to size 8 10 12 women red head women but I'm not racist to red heads just my preference "

So if the most stunning size 12 blonde wlsent you a message wanting some fun with you then you would knock them back?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are sure every couple has had to deal with messages along the lines of:

------

Guy: You wanna xyz my black/brown/spicy-asian/some-minority cock?

Couple: No thanks. Good luck with someone else. Bye

Guy: It's because I'm [insert race here]. You're racist.

------

We have never once had someone who is not a minority do this. We say no to a lot of people in clubs or online or anywhere else for all sorts of reasons. All these reasons are because of personal preferences not because of racism, ageism, sexism, whateverisum. It is because we have things we are each attracted to and things we are not. If we know there will be no attraction why would we agree to do something we do not want to. That is tantamount to the R word, we choose who we give consent to, not them.

We notice while it is not explicitly listed on the OP's profile, he is also not looking to meet asian men. Why not? Bit hypocritical.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You are correct that everyone has their preference, I have mine and you will have yours.

Not everyone will be everyones choice.

I come across quite a few profiles that are "fatist" but don't put it out there quite that bluntly. More like "we like to keep fit and prefer others who do too."....

So what do I do?... Move on!

I feel for you that you are experiencing this racism. "

So your profile heading states that you're 'looking for young athletic men only', but others who 'like to keep themselves fit and are looking for the same' are being "fatist" in your eyes? You're quite correct in saying that everybody has their preferences, but it very much looks like you seem to be complaining about this very thing, yet you've clearly stated 'young athletic men only' so what's the difference?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

Mansfield


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

It could simply be their comfort zone, most people stay close to what they know, what they've been around most of their lives

Stating Asian may be a cultural difference concern, rather than colour.

Where I live in Scotland, about 2% are not white. I certainly wouldn't have an objection to a non-white. In fact, line up equally attractive white and Asian ladies, I would probably go for the Asian. Something new.

But, yes, get your point about comfort 8zones.

Whereas I was brought up in a predominantly Asian area, with the cultural differences really creating disharmony.

I think for some, it's the knowledge of the differences and the comfort zone of their own 'kind', for want of a better word.

Some time back, I got very close with an Asian, Muslim lady.

As it looked as though things may progress, she put a stop to anything happening between us, telling me that she has feelings for me but nothing could happen, because if her friends, family and community found out about us, that I'm a non Muslim and white, she would be disowned, and shunned.

I pointed out that her brother was also seeing a non Muslim, white person.

Her response was, that's ignored because he's male, and they see her as a slag.

So I believe, the problem is cultural differences, rather than colour or race.

When these cultures combine, we'll take bigger steps forward for a less divisive society.

"

Had I had a hat on when I read this reply then I would of happily doffed it to you. This is by far one of the best replies I've seen in any race related forum posts.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fuck me. Change the record.

Pick another card to throw. Sick of hearing the racist one. "

Boreing heh. " lets al get back to great Fabbing all one happy family "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *xotictemptations4uCouple
over a year ago

LONDON

OP what I find interesting about your post is it refers to "preference" which refers to having a liking of one thing more than another not necessarily a dislike.

When you consider that, many people will have preferences for many things and that is perfectly fine.

What I think you are getting at is that the word "preference" is being misused for something else when stating "No this or No that."

When that happens it is not expressing a preference or greater liking for something. It is expressing a dislike for that thing and in that case the word preference is not being used appropriately.

The reality is beauty exists in all groups of people both on the outside and inside. We all may have our preferences that is normal.

But it is distasteful when entire groups of people are sidelined because every now and again someone from any group may come up and despite not being our usual preference hold the beauty in ways we did not expect or anticipate.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference."

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference.

If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians.

If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people.

Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. "

It’s not racism at all …. It’s personal choice who people like …

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. "

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lkShaftMan
over a year ago

Walsall


"Nothing to do with racism so stop with the race card.just because so folk are not interested in you!"

Definitely is with some

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lkShaftMan
over a year ago

Walsall


"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference.

If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians.

If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people.

Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. "

Not sure why you are letting it bother you, I read profiles that say No Black Guys. There Preference and your right they could be racist,and choose to hide behind the Preference Card.

There are racist people all over the world, Fab is not Immune from it. Take the advice move on, look for people whom don't mind meeting Asians.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me."

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *l1pp3ryCouple
over a year ago

Bradford


"Can’t hate people for their preference, I agree there are more people saying “no Asians” than anyone or anything else but can’t blame them.

Everyone’s got a preference or type, that could be race, height, weight, body type etc

Even most Asian single or couples tend to say no Asians and they have their reasonings

But there are also people who don’t care and don’t mind asians, just gotta find them

Doesn't bother me mate, just made and shared an observation..

Plenty of open minded, non judgemental people about "

So if it doesn't bother you and there are plenty of other profiled to go for, why make a forum post about it?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *l1pp3ryCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

There's plenty of Asians on here, there's an Asian couple in my local updates practically every day asking for meets to bang the wife, proof is there, there are female Asians needing action. Now, either there are similar all over country, or this couple are very unique, or 'racism' isn't racism at all as racism can't apply if its rejection from same race

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *azmar62Couple
over a year ago

Hinckley

We’ve met lots of Asian people. The fun has been amazing and in some respects very very filthy under the sheets. We have absolutely no problem playing. Friends are friends no matter the colour. Yes some Asian males are a bit ignorant towards the ladies, but at the end of the day it’s always your prerogative to say no. X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *enrythe8thMan
over a year ago

worthing

What an absolute load of bs...

Can’t people stop banging on about racism..

Black don’t like black

White don’t like white

Black don’t like white

Etc etc etc..:

Scots don’t like English...

Blah blah blah...

Muppets

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *illy71Couple
over a year ago

Staines


"The biggest block is age almost over 80% state 55 max, but that's their choice. Where do you draw the line at what people perfer, to just saying they don't like over 55s?"

Then there's the hairists, won't meet anyone with pubes! That's a significant proportion

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *enrythe8thMan
over a year ago

worthing

This is as bad as the idiots who bang on about global warming....

It’s the cycle of sun earth moon..

Nothing you can do...

And as for the erosion of land..

Sea level is rising because all over the world countries are doing land reclamation and all the massive ships boats etc etc..

It’s the arcamedis effect...

All the mining of land used to hold water...

Etc etc...

We’re just getting ripped off by the governments of the world again

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *azmar62Couple
over a year ago

Hinckley


"What an absolute load of bs...

Can’t people stop banging on about racism..

Black don’t like black

White don’t like white

Black don’t like white

Etc etc etc..:

Scots don’t like English...

Blah blah blah...

Muppets "

Well said. X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It stands to reason that since there is some racism in general society, that you'll also see some of that reflected among swingers.

But it's important to remember that choosing who to have sex with/ dating etc, is exclusionary by nature. People can choose not to have sex with anyone, for any reason. If someone states "no xyz" on their profile and you happen to fall into that group, it's best to just move on and focus your efforts toward people who are more compatible with you.

I'm not 100% sure it's worth telling people that their preferences are informed by prejudice. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't, but in any case you won't change any minds.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The stench is clear so far!!

anybody have a spare bottle of " Oust" ??

Mod pls close this thread.

Any interesting other FABB world news sunday??

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference.

If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians.

If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people.

Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. "

You're probably right, and that's a sad state of affairs in general. I do see lots of profiles that state no black guys, or white English people only... I tend to avoid them because they often don't seem like particularly nice or open minded people... I also see disabled people saying they struggle to meet too...

I suppose my question would be, what is there to be done about it? Protected characteristics aside, this is a site for people looking for sex predominantly...there us no requirement for equal opportunities for someone picking a sexual partner...nobody has to be an equal opportunities fucker...

I'm not just shrugging my shoulders about it per se...I think racism is a pernicious poison which underlies the fabric of all parts of our society...but I think you're fighting a losing battle in this place in particular because ultimately everyone has the absolute right to choose who they fuck and that may very well exclude you...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *es_wrentMan
over a year ago

Hatfield

People are entitled to their preferences, but also people have different outlooks on those ‘types’ of preferences.

For example, body size is the most common and stigmatised preference. Some men prefer petite women, some prefer BBW, some prefer toned, etc. I don’t have a preference whatsoever about this.

On the other hand, many people are indifferent about race or nationality, whereas I don’t find most Asian women particularly attractive.

No sets of preferences necessarily make anybody racist or prejudice, unless that’s how you’re choosing to interpret it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ogerroger69Man
over a year ago

West Yorks

What’s the point in complaining

It’s not going to change their preference

Accept it and move on x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *outhful73Man
over a year ago

Glossop

OP seems to have blocked single men from viewing their profile.

So okay to discriminate against a whole gender presumably?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The stench is clear so far!!

anybody have a spare bottle of " Oust" ??

Mod pls close this thread.

Any interesting other FABB world news sunday??

"

Close the thread because although you have no interest in it, with nothing to add to the discussion, you can't help but comment anyway?

Maybe practice self discipline instead.

Sarcasm apart, just skip on by and look at other threads.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. "

So what if someone is racist?

Seriously?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck.

So what if someone is racist?

Seriously?"

Good grief.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *harles888Man
over a year ago

Dudley

[Removed by poster at 21/05/23 08:44:28]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"So mix of sexism and racism..

What are your thoughts?

Would to hear from other Asian men/women and couples , TS/cd "

Looking at this site and fora, id probably agree.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck.

So what if someone is racist?

Seriously?

Good grief."

??

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *wales_hotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We would have thought that any clear statement on a profile as to your likelihood of being successful in an approach would be welcomed, even if it precludes you, as it will save you time and energy.

We have preferences, though they aren’t necessarily hard and fast rules, but we are too concerned to list our preferences through fear of being vilified for having them. Doesn’t make us rascist, we treat everyone we meet equally in real life, but we don’t sleep with everyone we meet.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"So mix of sexism and racism..

What are your thoughts?

Would to hear from other Asian men/women and couples , TS/cd

Looking at this site and fora, id probably agree. "

Im sure youll get plenty of grief for daring to mention it to op. Which is a different response to the usual cuddles and outrage people get with racism against black folk.

I think its a valid point that merits proper debate.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oxycouple28Couple
over a year ago

bexley


"What an absolute load of bs...

Can’t people stop banging on about racism..

Black don’t like black

White don’t like white

Black don’t like white

Etc etc etc..:

Scots don’t like English...

Blah blah blah...

Muppets "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck.

So what if someone is racist?

Seriously?"

Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it?

Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Absolutely ground breaking information, thanks for that

Of course there are racist people within the swinging community, just as there are in just about every community in the world.

Here we are back on the merry go round.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"So mix of sexism and racism..

What are your thoughts?

Would to hear from other Asian men/women and couples , TS/cd

Looking at this site and fora, id probably agree. "

What exactly do you agree with and how is the “site and fora” complicit? Care to expand for debate?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
over a year ago

Somerset


"This is as bad as the idiots who bang on about global warming....

It’s the cycle of sun earth moon..

Nothing you can do...

And as for the erosion of land..

Sea level is rising because all over the world countries are doing land reclamation and all the massive ships boats etc etc..

It’s the arcamedis effect...

All the mining of land used to hold water...

Etc etc...

We’re just getting ripped off by the governments of the world again"

Where to start…the oceans of the world hold a lot of water. 1.4 x 10 to the power 18, tonnes. The total displacement of all the worlds ships is 2.3 billion tonnes. Also a big number but only a minuscule fraction of the size of the ocean. For context, melting ice from Antarctica alone contributes a bigger number in less than two years. Melting land based ice is only one contributing factor to sea level rises (about 25%-30%) and not even the most significant one. Thermal expansion accounts for 40-50%. Reclaiming land can impact sea level where the stuff used comes from the land but not where it is dredged from the sea bed surrounding. It happens in shallow coastal areas and, therefore the impact on the vastness of the ocean is small. Groundwater depletion also contributes to sea level rises as you say, also man made. It is illogical to use the fact that two minor contributors to sea level rises are not due to burning fossil fuels to not take action against the major causes. People who bang on about it are not idiots, they are highly educated scientists and there is something we can do about it. A lot of people who question anthropogenic climate change also question the existence ,extent and impact of racism. Just saying. For the record, I don’t think expressing a sexual preference is racist and also for the record we have played with Asian people.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *azmar62Couple
over a year ago

Hinckley

OP’s disappeared. But this is still going. Popcorn anyone.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"OP’s disappeared. But this is still going. Popcorn anyone. "

He’ll be back in a few days with another “Any Asian couples meet” type thread.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Somebody please just fuck him so that he stops posting religious post every single day!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck.

So what if someone is racist?

Seriously?

Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it?

Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead...

"

Now that's better.

Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
over a year ago

In the clouds

It's a preference, not racism.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck.

So what if someone is racist?

Seriously?

Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it?

Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead...

Now that's better.

Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former."

Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck.

So what if someone is racist?

Seriously?

Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it?

Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead...

Now that's better.

Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former.

Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism. "

Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you get some women/couples looking for bbc, is that racist? no.

everyone has a preference for who they find attractive or who they want to fuck.

you may be seeking bdsm, only looking for TV's, could be any number of combinations!

having a preference isnt racist. theres no abuse, you could have asian friends, doesnt mean you find them attractive.

this site is for seeking what attracts you and enjoying it. just because you cant get a meet because no one is interested in you is no reason to have a rant or claim prejudice.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer polish women, German fudge chocolate cake, Pakistani Biryani, European watches, American electric cars, French water, Dutch milk, Swedish design etc etc

Does that make me racist against everything else in the world ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ixey and CopperCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

This is why we like clubs, you see the people for who they are.

Although people probably aren't racist by writing it, but saying you aren't interested in an entire race seems a little harsh.

Might be better just not to write it on profiles.

If its a preference then you just have to say you're not interested

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth


"Might be better just not to write it on profiles."

I kind of agree with this to a point. However, people are always advised to write as much information as possible on their profiles.

Maybe it would be better to say 'I have a preference for....'

You'd still have people complain though.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck.

So what if someone is racist?

Seriously?

Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it?

Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead...

Now that's better.

Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former.

Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism.

Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile."

Exactly!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck.

So what if someone is racist?

Seriously?

Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it?

Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead...

Now that's better.

Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former.

Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism.

Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile.

Exactly! "

Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck.

So what if someone is racist?

Seriously?

Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it?

Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead...

Now that's better.

Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former.

Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism.

Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile.

Exactly!

Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started. "

So you also agree stating things like “no Asian guys” isn’t necessarily racist. Perfect, we agree.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"So mix of sexism and racism..

What are your thoughts?

Would to hear from other Asian men/women and couples , TS/cd

Looking at this site and fora, id probably agree.

What exactly do you agree with and how is the “site and fora” complicit? Care to expand for debate?"

Sure. People make excuses for their racism by calling it "just preferences" so thats not racism... Or is it..? Or they excuse it by saying.... "ah but i had a bad experience with an asian man" amd therefore all asian men are the same. It just lazy thinking. For those with "preferences" to include or exclude based solely on race. At least admit it for what it is.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West


"So mix of sexism and racism..

What are your thoughts?

Would to hear from other Asian men/women and couples , TS/cd

Looking at this site and fora, id probably agree.

What exactly do you agree with and how is the “site and fora” complicit? Care to expand for debate?

Sure. People make excuses for their racism by calling it "just preferences" so thats not racism... Or is it..? Or they excuse it by saying.... "ah but i had a bad experience with an asian man" amd therefore all asian men are the same. It just lazy thinking. For those with "preferences" to include or exclude based solely on race. At least admit it for what it is. "

This

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck.

So what if someone is racist?

Seriously?

Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it?

Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead...

Now that's better.

Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former.

Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism.

Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile.

Exactly!

Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started.

So you also agree stating things like “no Asian guys” isn’t necessarily racist. Perfect, we agree. "

For clarity. No. I dont agree with that at all. But we are having a debate and allowed to have different opinions.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Now that's better.

Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former.

Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism.

Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile.

Exactly!

Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started.

So you also agree stating things like “no Asian guys” isn’t necessarily racist. Perfect, we agree.

For clarity. No. I dont agree with that at all. But we are having a debate and allowed to have different opinions."

Then I’m not sure what your previous comment was actually about. More than happy to debate.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issIrishCoffeeWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Oof the comments

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *piceyMan
over a year ago

your marital bed given the chance

My preference is Asian women, but my chances are slim. My partner doesn’t mind Asian men at all.

Now

My belief is the No Asian preference comment on people’s profiles comes not from the colour of skin, but from the attitude of some single Asian men.

If is known that the majority of troublemakers on the club scene are Asian men, the majority of those banned from clubs are Asian men.

Why?

The misdemeanours include constant touching without consent, then when warned, they play the don’t understand card. The club rules are there prior the party, told again on arrival so there is no doubt agreement of rules is understood. However unwanted behaviour normally continues.

My belief it’s within the culture, a lower respect thing that men have with women.

It’s NOT all Asian men, I know some very decent and respectful guys, it is however a reputation that exists so therefore as it is naturally more difficult within the scene.

Preferences are real. Don’t be a snowflake. Women like 6ft guys, I stand no chance, but I naturally am not attracted to tall women either, so It works both ways.

Racist it isn’t.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *azmar62Couple
over a year ago

Hinckley


"OP’s disappeared. But this is still going. Popcorn anyone.

He’ll be back in a few days with another “Any Asian couples meet” type thread."

Probably. I’ll have to get supplies in. Lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

[Removed by poster at 21/05/23 10:37:02]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth


"My preference is Asian women, but my chances are slim. My partner doesn’t mind Asian men at all.

Now

My belief is the No Asian preference comment on people’s profiles comes not from the colour of skin, but from the attitude of some single Asian men.

If is known that the majority of troublemakers on the club scene are Asian men, the majority of those banned from clubs are Asian men.

Why?

The misdemeanours include constant touching without consent, then when warned, they play the don’t understand card. The club rules are there prior the party, told again on arrival so there is no doubt agreement of rules is understood. However unwanted behaviour normally continues.

My belief it’s within the culture, a lower respect thing that men have with women.

It’s NOT all Asian men, I know some very decent and respectful guys, it is however a reputation that exists so therefore as it is naturally more difficult within the scene.

Preferences are real. Don’t be a snowflake. Women like 6ft guys, I stand no chance, but I naturally am not attracted to tall women either, so It works both ways.

Racist it isn’t."

Good luck with having that view round here

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Question... Can a preference be racist? Or sexist? Or because it uses the word preference, does it get a free pass?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkywife1981Couple
over a year ago

A town near you

It's also likely that people who ate fervently racist would have no problem with fucking people of other races!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Question... Can a preference be racist? Or sexist? Or because it uses the word preference, does it get a free pass? "

Question…is a preference always racist, or is it sometimes not?

Have asked the question countless times and no one will give a direct answer without going off on some massive tangent.

In fairness I’ll answer yours first. Yes it can be both.

Your turn.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esmond and Molly JonesCouple
over a year ago

Watford


"The stench is clear so far!!

anybody have a spare bottle of " Oust" ??

Mod pls close this thread.

Any interesting other FABB world news sunday??

Close the thread because although you have no interest in it, with nothing to add to the discussion, you can't help but comment anyway?

Maybe practice self discipline instead.

Sarcasm apart, just skip on by and look at other threads. "

It's amazing how often people want threads banned because they don't agree with the general gist.

This is a sense of entitlement coming from some people. They think that any views other than theirs must be censored or removed.

Stunning arrogance.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oung_playtimeCouple
over a year ago

West Mids

Such a topic on race and sexual attraction is way to complex to be had on a swingers forum whilst we’re standing here with our dick in our hand

Op - You can only change yourself for certain. Sure you can spend all your energy being upset, angry or frustrated by other people’s thoughts/beliefs or preferences in this case. But such energy could be better spent on working on yourself be it mental or physically and you will have much more fulfilment and success (in all areas if life). Sure you can question it once, but repeatedly dwelling on an issue vocally is not going to make people suddenly change their view, but just reinforce it.

Preferences in dating is not racism in itself. But it’s not as binary as that, for example, if the preference is rooted in negative stereotype this could manifest it (another complex topic).

I can completely understand why people would be hesitant to meet with south-asian men. And by me having realised and understood why, I learned what not to be (not just in sex, but in life which is way more important). And what not to be should be applicable for every person.

I also have a preference, which is that I don’t date women from my native culture which is rooted in a stereotype which could be deemed negative or positive.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

uk


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck.

So what if someone is racist?

Seriously?

Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it?

Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead...

Now that's better.

Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former.

Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism.

Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile.

Exactly!

Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started.

So you also agree stating things like “no Asian guys” isn’t necessarily racist. Perfect, we agree. "

I don't think that anyone has said that "no Asian guys" is racist...

However, by stating its not necessarily racist clearly suggests that in some profiles preferences may be driven by racism.

And there lies the problem. Racists.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth


"Such a topic on race and sexual attraction is way to complex to be had on a swingers forum whilst we’re standing here with our dick in our hand

Op - You can only change yourself for certain. Sure you can spend all your energy being upset, angry or frustrated by other people’s thoughts/beliefs or preferences in this case. But such energy could be better spent on working on yourself be it mental or physically and you will have much more fulfilment and success (in all areas if life). Sure you can question it once, but repeatedly dwelling on an issue vocally is not going to make people suddenly change their view, but just reinforce it.

Preferences in dating is not racism in itself. But it’s not as binary as that, for example, if the preference is rooted in negative stereotype this could manifest it (another complex topic).

I can completely understand why people would be hesitant to meet with south-asian men. And by me having realised and understood why, I learned what not to be (not just in sex, but in life which is way more important). And what not to be should be applicable for every person.

I also have a preference, which is that I don’t date women from my native culture which is rooted in a stereotype which could be deemed negative or positive.

"

A very well constructed post from someone who I assume is of Asian heritage.

Bravo sir

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former.

Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism.

Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile.

Exactly!

Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started.

So you also agree stating things like “no Asian guys” isn’t necessarily racist. Perfect, we agree.

I don't think that anyone has said that "no Asian guys" is racist...

However, by stating its not necessarily racist clearly suggests that in some profiles preferences may be driven by racism.

And there lies the problem. Racists."

I think most of us can rally around that. Point me towards a profile that is genuinely racist and I’ll happily report them.

It’s the people on here that think EVERYONE that states things like “not into Asian guys” are racist that I have an issue with.

Although I wouldn’t agree with it, I’d respect them more if they were at least consistent and weren’t massive fucking hypocrites.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Such a topic on race and sexual attraction is way to complex to be had on a swingers forum whilst we’re standing here with our dick in our hand

Op - You can only change yourself for certain. Sure you can spend all your energy being upset, angry or frustrated by other people’s thoughts/beliefs or preferences in this case. But such energy could be better spent on working on yourself be it mental or physically and you will have much more fulfilment and success (in all areas if life). Sure you can question it once, but repeatedly dwelling on an issue vocally is not going to make people suddenly change their view, but just reinforce it.

Preferences in dating is not racism in itself. But it’s not as binary as that, for example, if the preference is rooted in negative stereotype this could manifest it (another complex topic).

I can completely understand why people would be hesitant to meet with south-asian men. And by me having realised and understood why, I learned what not to be (not just in sex, but in life which is way more important). And what not to be should be applicable for every person.

I also have a preference, which is that I don’t date women from my native culture which is rooted in a stereotype which could be deemed negative or positive.

"

Perfectly put!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why we like clubs, you see the people for who they are.

Although people probably aren't racist by writing it, but saying you aren't interested in an entire race seems a little harsh.

Might be better just not to write it on profiles.

If its a preference then you just have to say you're not interested "

To which "entire race" are you referring? The OP just states "South Asian men". Not a race. I think there are some nuggets of truth as to the reasons people don't want to meet this demographic throughout this thread, but the instant reaction from some others of "racism" or "stereotyping" puts them off from speaking their truth.

Bess x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Racism? People like what they like, that’s it, where do you draw the line with [ism’s] fat, thin, race, sexuality, ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing?

I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference.

You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference.

It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company...

But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference.

Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up.

So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me.

So what if someone is fickle or racist?

They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck.

So what if someone is racist?

Seriously?

Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it?

Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead...

Now that's better.

Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former.

Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism.

Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile.

Exactly!

Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started.

So you also agree stating things like “no Asian guys” isn’t necessarily racist. Perfect, we agree.

I don't think that anyone has said that "no Asian guys" is racist...

However, by stating its not necessarily racist clearly suggests that in some profiles preferences may be driven by racism.

And there lies the problem. Racists."

Although I don't necessarily disagree, I think the issue in this case is less one of race and more on cultural or religious (maybe) differences.

I think many of the OP's other posted threads may well strengthen my view here, whilst also expressing his own preference due to cultural/religious differences.

I believe holding on to the term racism (in some cases, this being one) is not helpful at all, and comes across as attacking with no attempt to change opinions and attitudes, only to shame and silence.

We need to do better to make a difference, we need to change the way these issues are approached.

That's how I view it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hegirlwiththepeachtattooWoman
over a year ago

.

What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are.

Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.”

As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth


"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are.

Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.”

As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on. "

Maybe you're right in that people don't like to admit where preferences come from.

However, on the flip side, no one should ever have to explain a preference to a random person.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's racism in society, so naturally there's racism in swinging, sport, music/entertainment, Government, you name it.

Why would you think recreational sex would be any different?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *exyfuncouple-40Couple
over a year ago

Bloxham

From what I read of your previous questions on forums you're looking for indian or packistani women or couples so you're being selective as well ? Everybody has their own tastes and preferences so guess it just narrows down what people looking for genetically then they can look further at profiles ? Everybody got different tastes and desires

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

[Removed by poster at 21/05/23 11:36:16]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hegirlwiththepeachtattooWoman
over a year ago

.


"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are.

Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.”

As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on.

Maybe you're right in that people don't like to admit where preferences come from.

However, on the flip side, no one should ever have to explain a preference to a random person."

Totally agree. We owe strangers nothing, the sense of entitlement on here (from some, not all) is a huge problem. I don’t accommodate and I feel uncomfortable meeting strangers in hotels, but the amount of people who try to push past that boundary is so annoying. Whether someone is racist or not, we all are entitled to set our own boundaries and we don’t owe anyone an explanation.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I actually don’t care that there’s racism in swinging BUT I wish that the people who are being racist would admit it to themselves.

“Preference” is about positivity - it’s about what you prefer. For example “I prefer blondes” or “I prefer European looking”… but you know, you may be open to ideas.

Preference is not about excluding entire ethnic groups of people you’ve never met based solely on their skin colour.

You don’t have to find everyone attractive - but if you feel the need to write “no black” “no Asian” “white only” etc on your profile then you should take some time out to realise that yes, you are racist.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are.

Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.”

As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on. "

What YOU don’t like to admit (or are incapable of seeing), is other peoples outlooks and loved experiences.

You can’t possibly think of any other reason, other than racism, and yet can almost guarantee you’re one of those people that screams inclusivity, show compassion wah wah wah.

I really do hope you’ve blocked us as the one thing we do agree on is we would never get on. We like genuinely warm, caring, empathetic people….

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are.

Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.”

As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on.

Maybe you're right in that people don't like to admit where preferences come from.

However, on the flip side, no one should ever have to explain a preference to a random person."

Yup. Some no doubt are racist, but then there’s some, like us, who most definitely aren’t.

I’d love to see the likes of her say the same to our faces if they knew the reason why we state it. Truth is they wouldn’t dare, they’d be all fake compassion and hugs.

Man fake people grind my gears.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why we like clubs, you see the people for who they are.

Although people probably aren't racist by writing it, but saying you aren't interested in an entire race seems a little harsh.

Might be better just not to write it on profiles.

If its a preference then you just have to say you're not interested

To which "entire race" are you referring? The OP just states "South Asian men". Not a race. I think there are some nuggets of truth as to the reasons people don't want to meet this demographic throughout this thread, but the instant reaction from some others of "racism" or "stereotyping" puts them off from speaking their truth.

Bess x"

What? South Asian IS a racial and ethnic group - people of Pakistani, Bangladeshi and South Indian descent.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are.

Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.”

As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on.

Maybe you're right in that people don't like to admit where preferences come from.

However, on the flip side, no one should ever have to explain a preference to a random person.

Yup. Some no doubt are racist, but then there’s some, like us, who most definitely aren’t.

I’d love to see the likes of her say the same to our faces if they knew the reason why we state it. Truth is they wouldn’t dare, they’d be all fake compassion and hugs.

Man fake people grind my gears. "

If you want people to ask the reason then why not state it here?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hegirlwiththepeachtattooWoman
over a year ago

.


"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are.

Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.”

As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on.

Maybe you're right in that people don't like to admit where preferences come from.

However, on the flip side, no one should ever have to explain a preference to a random person.

Yup. Some no doubt are racist, but then there’s some, like us, who most definitely aren’t.

I’d love to see the likes of her say the same to our faces if they knew the reason why we state it. Truth is they wouldn’t dare, they’d be all fake compassion and hugs.

Man fake people grind my gears. "

Can I just clarify, who is it you’re referring to with, “the likes of her”?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *entlemanrogueMan
over a year ago

Motherwell


"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference.

If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians.

If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people.

Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. "

i have to say, your post is straight up BS.

i have seen many profiles thay say no whites, no blacks, no asian, no turkish, or black only, asian only etc. it may seem to you thays its always no asians, bit that probanly because you are asian and rake note of that more.

If you feel a person is racist agaisnt your race, why would youbwant to meet them let alone give them sexual.pleasure?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are.

Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.”

As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on.

Maybe you're right in that people don't like to admit where preferences come from.

However, on the flip side, no one should ever have to explain a preference to a random person.

Yup. Some no doubt are racist, but then there’s some, like us, who most definitely aren’t.

I’d love to see the likes of her say the same to our faces if they knew the reason why we state it. Truth is they wouldn’t dare, they’d be all fake compassion and hugs.

Man fake people grind my gears.

Can I just clarify, who is it you’re referring to with, “the likes of her”?"

No. Not falling for the ban bait thanks.

If the cap fits though…

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hegirlwiththepeachtattooWoman
over a year ago

.


"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are.

Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.”

As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on.

What YOU don’t like to admit (or are incapable of seeing), is other peoples outlooks and loved experiences.

You can’t possibly think of any other reason, other than racism, and yet can almost guarantee you’re one of those people that screams inclusivity, show compassion wah wah wah.

I really do hope you’ve blocked us as the one thing we do agree on is we would never get on. We like genuinely warm, caring, empathetic people…."

I blocked you when you outed yourself as transphobic in another thread. I haven’t actually read your comments on this thread but you seem to have taken my comments very personally. Maybe you need to think about why that is? Anyway I’ve reported you for targeting me unnecessarily within a thread where you could have just skipped my response, and should have, given my blocking you.

You don’t know me, but believe me, if i met you I would have NO qualms in voicing my opinion.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a massive difference between preference and discrimination. You say that people stating a preference for non-Asian play partners is racist. Would therefore a gay female not wishing to have sex with men be sexist? Would people looking to play with people of their own ages be ageist?

Both men and women will, in their lifetimes, find people attractive where the attraction is not reciprocated - is that discrimination?

There are profiles on here which state that they don’t find shaved heads or beards on men attractive - is that a declaration of “baldish” or “beardism” ?

Does discrimination exist in society - yes - unfortunately it does. Is our society perfect - no, it’s not - but then it is made up of human beings who by definition (and contrary to the opinion of some members of the human race), are imperfect.

There is a prevailing attitude in a large percentage of society however (at least in this country) - that of entitlement. And I’m sorry OP, in my opinion, your post smacks of entitlement.

If you unconsciously believe that you should be attractive to anybody that YOU potentially have an interest in, then that sounds (again in my opinion), like entitlement.

May I pose a question in countering your supposition that people stating they don’t wish to meet people of South Asian ethnicity are displaying racism.

If somebody approached you, and you did not find them attractive/sexually appealing for whatever reason, yet they wanted to have sex with you - would you have sex with them. Or, would you explain that there wasn’t an attraction and move on. If it’s the latter, then you totally undermine your complaint of racism, because by the parameters of your argument, you would be discriminating against them based on a physical attribute, or if you’d conversed with them , something in their personality which did not match with yours.

There is an old saying that there is somebody for everyone. You should not be discriminated against for your ethnicity, but to not respect people’s right to preference, then I’m afraid (again in my opinion), it appears that by citing racism respect of those preferences, you are seeking you use your ethnicity to gain an advantage. And that, again in my opinion, is distasteful and disrespectful and dies not contribute positively to the struggle against ANY sort of discrimination in our society.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are.

Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.”

As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on.

What YOU don’t like to admit (or are incapable of seeing), is other peoples outlooks and loved experiences.

You can’t possibly think of any other reason, other than racism, and yet can almost guarantee you’re one of those people that screams inclusivity, show compassion wah wah wah.

I really do hope you’ve blocked us as the one thing we do agree on is we would never get on. We like genuinely warm, caring, empathetic people….

I blocked you when you outed yourself as transphobic in another thread. I haven’t actually read your comments on this thread but you seem to have taken my comments very personally. Maybe you need to think about why that is? Anyway I’ve reported you for targeting me unnecessarily within a thread where you could have just skipped my response, and should have, given my blocking you.

You don’t know me, but believe me, if i met you I would have NO qualms in voicing my opinion. "

Thank god you blocked us for having an opinion that most definitely was NOT transphobic, much like we’re not racist. Feel free to quote ANY transphobic, or factory thing we’ve said…you won’t be able to.

I’m just debating your (weak) points. Maybe you should read all our comments like I’ve read yours?

You can report what you like, should I do the same for that last response?

I can GUARANTEE you wouldn’t if you knew the reason we have it in our profile.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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