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"To be honest, it is completely irrelevant within the context of FAB. The people who don't want to meet someone because of their skin colour, religion, or whatever, are never going to have their mind changed by telling them they're prejudiced. Many people will actively avoid people who have these negative exclamations on their profiles, so it does help the rest of the site avoid them. Cal" This | |||
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"People have preferences. Everyone has a niche. As a freakishly tall girl well aware that the standard preference is for petite, does it do me any favours or bring me any joy to go on rants about people being heightist, or am I better off spending my energy on the people I'm attracted to who are attracted to me? If someone has No Asians as a stated preference, move on, and be glad you knew that much before wasting your time on people you wouldn't be compatible with. Is it inherently racist to have a preference? I don't think so. Are racists more likely to have and openly state that preference, sure. But why the fuck would you want to waste your time on racists regardless of what rave you are " | |||
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"You are correct that everyone has their preference, I have mine and you will have yours. Not everyone will be everyones choice. I come across quite a few profiles that are "fatist" but don't put it out there quite that bluntly. More like "we like to keep fit and prefer others who do too.".... So what do I do?... Move on! I feel for you that you are experiencing this racism. " Not sure how that’s “fatist” tbh, but fair enough. | |||
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"From my opinion as long as people are being respectful and not using hate toward others then its ok to have preferences and we all find different people attractive. Theres a lot of people who wouldn’t find me attractive because i am typically quite young for the scene and thats okay. Theres no point in meeting someone who isn’t attracted to you as it wont be a fun time and thats what we are all here for however that may be. As long as people are respectful of each other then the world would be a better place "Couldn’t have said it better bud! | |||
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"The rejection is always targeted at Asian men only. People happily meet an Asian woman though." I have seen plenty of profiles that state no black or no white. I wouldn't specify a preference because regardless of skin colour, if someone is hot, they are hot. There are gorgeous women of all colour skins on here who I would happily spend some fun time with. | |||
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"If a man says "no men" is that homophobic or just a personal choice?" Is sexuality a choice?!? | |||
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"You post quite often asking specifically for Asian peeps only. "I'm Asian so only only fair to show love to the folks not been shown love | |||
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"Nothing to do with racism so stop with the race card.just because so folk are not interested in you!" Not just me, it's across the board with Asian men As I said why just Asian men..why isn't the same level of rejection shown to other races/nationalities | |||
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"If a man says "no men" is that homophobic or just a personal choice? Is sexuality a choice?!? " Is having sexy with non Asian people a sexuality? | |||
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"Not sure whether this will help. I was in two minds about posting it, but it is just a thought, not a criticism! Maybe it's simply because many women don't feel safe with Asian men. "Honour" issues and "grooming" - carried out by a minority - have reflected badly on the whole community. It's not fair but it's not specifically racist. Men would likely not have the same fear of Asian women. I may be completely wrong, and I have no wish to offend, but women are killed every week by men, so the perceived risk is an important factor. I don't know how that risk can be reduced and trust increased, but I think the answer needs to come from the community." You're not offending but sharing your view so it's all good And you could be right such wider negative connotations can have impact generally in perceptions too | |||
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"You post quite often asking specifically for Asian peeps only.
I'm Asian so only only fair to show love to the folks not been shown love "It goes both ways. | |||
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"We have had racist messages in our inbox which was upsetting at first but now just block them. Wouldn’t want to meet anyone who would write no Asians on their profile anyway. Don’t let it bother you. It’s not worth it. Life is too short. Plenty of others to have fun with. Mrs " That's sweet thank you | |||
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"If a man says "no men" is that homophobic or just a personal choice?" If one person says it ok. But if you saw that everywhere you went would that then give you some kind feeling there an underlying issues somewhere? | |||
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"Can’t hate people for their preference, I agree there are more people saying “no Asians” than anyone or anything else but can’t blame them. Everyone’s got a preference or type, that could be race, height, weight, body type etc Even most Asian single or couples tend to say no Asians and they have their reasonings But there are also people who don’t care and don’t mind asians, just gotta find them" Doesn't bother me mate, just made and shared an observation.. Plenty of open minded, non judgemental people about | |||
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"OP - first words on your profile ‘non judgemental’. Yet you have announced that there is racism in swinging. This is your perspective, you don’t get to decide other people’s perspective or preferences. I’d be interested in hearing why you’ve reached this conclusion. I have my thoughts, but I’m not going to lead with them as a conversation starter. Have fun " I'm definitely non judgemental.. making an observation isn't judgmental.. | |||
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"If a man says "no men" is that homophobic or just a personal choice? Is sexuality a choice?!? " Was just thinking the same. It's all down to personal preference. Too many people are always ready to wave the racist flag. | |||
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"The biggest block is age almost over 80% state 55 max, but that's their choice. Where do you draw the line at what people perfer, to just saying they don't like over 55s?" Even over 55s? | |||
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"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference. If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians. If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people. Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. " Absolute and utter nonsense. When will people stop playing the race card. We all have a choice. We can have sex with whoever we like. I choose white European people. Stop telling me that I have to be 'inclusive'. I am exclusive I'm my preferences. Is a black person only wanting to meet black people racist too? | |||
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"There’s racism everywhere and people on here often hide behind “preference”. Wouldn’t Let it bother you, if you think someone’s racist you wouldn’t wanna be in their company any way! x" ******" This ********* The lady summed it up, and she's not an Asian ,nor an Asian make. So I leave it here?! | |||
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"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference. If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians. If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people. Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. " Seriously?? | |||
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"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference. If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians. If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people. Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. " Seriously?? | |||
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"There’s racism everywhere and people on here often hide behind “preference”. Wouldn’t Let it bother you, if you think someone’s racist you wouldn’t wanna be in their company any way! x ******" This ********* The lady summed it up, and she's not an Asian ,nor an Asian make. So I leave it here?!" Keep it in mind next time you post up an “Asian only” type thread then. | |||
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"If was looking to rent and one or two landlords said no men..then I looked more and the more landlords said no men. That would definitely indicate an issue right? People have preference, I have no issues. But are preference informed by prejudice ok?" Those landlords are generally looking for that fantasy of trading rent for sex. Otherwise, unless you're a man trying to find housing in a women's refuge then you're unlikely to come across the issue, and can probably report the people for the equalities act
Nobody is required to have sex with someone they're not attracted to in the name of equality. | |||
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"If a man says "no men" is that homophobic or just a personal choice?" Perfect  | |||
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"If was looking to rent and one or two landlords said no men..then I looked more and the more landlords said no men. That would definitely indicate an issue right? People have preference, I have no issues. But are preference informed by prejudice ok? Those landlords are generally looking for that fantasy of trading rent for sex. Otherwise, unless you're a man trying to find housing in a women's refuge then you're unlikely to come across the issue, and can probably report the people for the equalities act
Nobody is required to have sex with someone they're not attracted to in the name of equality."Where has anyone said anything otherwise? | |||
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"There’s racism everywhere and people on here often hide behind “preference”. Wouldn’t Let it bother you, if you think someone’s racist you wouldn’t wanna be in their company any way! x ******" This ********* The lady summed it up, and she's not an Asian ,nor an Asian make. So I leave it here?! Keep it in mind next time you post up an “Asian only” type thread then. " It's never been Asian only thread as you have commented in them ... Which was welcomed | |||
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"Where has anyone said anything otherwise?" It's not racist to have a physical preference is the point. It's when they're an ass about it that it's a problem. | |||
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"Well said. " Sorry this comment was for somewhere else. | |||
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"There’s racism everywhere and people on here often hide behind “preference”. Wouldn’t Let it bother you, if you think someone’s racist you wouldn’t wanna be in their company any way! x ******" This ********* The lady summed it up, and she's not an Asian ,nor an Asian make. So I leave it here?! Keep it in mind next time you post up an “Asian only” type thread then. " Bang on  | |||
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"If was looking to rent and one or two landlords said no men..then I looked more and the more landlords said no men. That would definitely indicate an issue right? People have preference, I have no issues. But are preference informed by prejudice ok?" Landlord is not the same as sex. If someone wants to fuck X but not Y and that's from a place of racism and/or prejudice, so what ? I really could not give a flying fuck if someone says that I am prejudiced or racist or homophobic or sexist or ageist or whatever. They aren't going to guilt trip me into fucking ANYONE that I'm not attracted to!! | |||
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"Nothing to do with racism so stop with the race card.just because so folk are not interested in you!" | |||
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"OP - first words on your profile ‘non judgemental’. Yet you have announced that there is racism in swinging. This is your perspective, you don’t get to decide other people’s perspective or preferences. I’d be interested in hearing why you’ve reached this conclusion. I have my thoughts, but I’m not going to lead with them as a conversation starter. Have fun " Oh so eloquently put. I must admit I'm getting a bit peeved at these posts at the moment. Ppl seem to think that because they've been rejected, turned down or whatever way you want to write it that it must be a race thing. THEY DON'T FIND YOU SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE. Deal with it. It's a swingers site ffs | |||
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"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference. If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians. If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people. Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. " It's not racism. If it was racism, it would be white swingers saying they only meet white people. What they are rejecting is not your race but your 'culture'. “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” ? Martin Luther King Jr. It may be prejudice to assume that Asian men consider swinger ladies as cheap whores, who don't need respect, unlike women in their own family who would never want to be uninhibited and 'unfaithful'. The cultural stereotypes may be outdated and wrong, but they exist. And if the people near you hold these beliefs, go to socials and clubs, and show them that their assumptions are wrong. | |||
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"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference. If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians. If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people. Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. " . If you break it into 3 categories single men , single women , couples then single men are still bottom of the pecking order | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. " It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. | |||
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"Sexual attraction preferences have nothing to do with racism. Woman I’m attracted to saying no one under 6ft ! That’s goes against me but it’s her attraction preference. Anyone who can’t separate this from real racism is lacking a bit intelligence in my view " Do you think such a woman would get a tape measure out if she saw a guy that ticked all the boxes but he was only 5'11? | |||
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"It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference." Why is your preference for blonde? | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference." It could simply be their comfort zone, most people stay close to what they know, what they've been around most of their lives Stating Asian may be a cultural difference concern, rather than colour. | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. It could simply be their comfort zone, most people stay close to what they know, what they've been around most of their lives Stating Asian may be a cultural difference concern, rather than colour. " Past bad experience for Roxy is why we state not into Asian guys. Could narrow it down, but figured we’d get way more grief if we did. Tbh if people call us racist because of that, they’re not people we’d get on with anyway so brilliant filter both ways. | |||
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"I'm putting this out there as it's not about your ethnicity but actually about who you are as a person." Exactly this. Can’t go into it due to rules either. | |||
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"It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why is your preference for blonde?" I find them slightly more attractive. Line 2 identical twins up, one blonde and one brunette, I would go for the blonde. | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. It could simply be their comfort zone, most people stay close to what they know, what they've been around most of their lives Stating Asian may be a cultural difference concern, rather than colour. " Where I live in Scotland, about 2% are not white. I certainly wouldn't have an objection to a non-white. In fact, line up equally attractive white and Asian ladies, I would probably go for the Asian. Something new. But, yes, get your point about comfort zones. | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. It could simply be their comfort zone, most people stay close to what they know, what they've been around most of their lives Stating Asian may be a cultural difference concern, rather than colour. Where I live in Scotland, about 2% are not white. I certainly wouldn't have an objection to a non-white. In fact, line up equally attractive white and Asian ladies, I would probably go for the Asian. Something new. But, yes, get your point about comfort 8zones. " Whereas I was brought up in a predominantly Asian area, with the cultural differences really creating disharmony. I think for some, it's the knowledge of the differences and the comfort zone of their own 'kind', for want of a better word. Some time back, I got very close with an Asian, Muslim lady. As it looked as though things may progress, she put a stop to anything happening between us, telling me that she has feelings for me but nothing could happen, because if her friends, family and community found out about us, that I'm a non Muslim and white, she would be disowned, and shunned. I pointed out that her brother was also seeing a non Muslim, white person. Her response was, that's ignored because he's male, and they see her as a slag. So I believe, the problem is cultural differences, rather than colour or race. When these cultures combine, we'll take bigger steps forward for a less divisive society. | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. It could simply be their comfort zone, most people stay close to what they know, what they've been around most of their lives Stating Asian may be a cultural difference concern, rather than colour. Where I live in Scotland, about 2% are not white. I certainly wouldn't have an objection to a non-white. In fact, line up equally attractive white and Asian ladies, I would probably go for the Asian. Something new. But, yes, get your point about comfort 8zones. Whereas I was brought up in a predominantly Asian area, with the cultural differences really creating disharmony. I think for some, it's the knowledge of the differences and the comfort zone of their own 'kind', for want of a better word. Some time back, I got very close with an Asian, Muslim lady. As it looked as though things may progress, she put a stop to anything happening between us, telling me that she has feelings for me but nothing could happen, because if her friends, family and community found out about us, that I'm a non Muslim and white, she would be disowned, and shunned. I pointed out that her brother was also seeing a non Muslim, white person. Her response was, that's ignored because he's male, and they see her as a slag. So I believe, the problem is cultural differences, rather than colour or race. When these cultures combine, we'll take bigger steps forward for a less divisive society. " That sounds like a cultural problem within that culture rather than someone from that background who makes choices that don't comply. | |||
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"Nothing to do with racism so stop with the race card.just because so folk are not interested in you! "All of them!! | |||
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"My preference is size 14 and above blonde women sometimes brunette women I'm not attracted to size 8 10 12 women red head women but I'm not racist to red heads just my preference " So if the most stunning size 12 blonde wlsent you a message wanting some fun with you then you would knock them back? | |||
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"You are correct that everyone has their preference, I have mine and you will have yours. Not everyone will be everyones choice. I come across quite a few profiles that are "fatist" but don't put it out there quite that bluntly. More like "we like to keep fit and prefer others who do too.".... So what do I do?... Move on! I feel for you that you are experiencing this racism. " So your profile heading states that you're 'looking for young athletic men only', but others who 'like to keep themselves fit and are looking for the same' are being "fatist" in your eyes? You're quite correct in saying that everybody has their preferences, but it very much looks like you seem to be complaining about this very thing, yet you've clearly stated 'young athletic men only' so what's the difference? | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. It could simply be their comfort zone, most people stay close to what they know, what they've been around most of their lives Stating Asian may be a cultural difference concern, rather than colour. Where I live in Scotland, about 2% are not white. I certainly wouldn't have an objection to a non-white. In fact, line up equally attractive white and Asian ladies, I would probably go for the Asian. Something new. But, yes, get your point about comfort 8zones. Whereas I was brought up in a predominantly Asian area, with the cultural differences really creating disharmony. I think for some, it's the knowledge of the differences and the comfort zone of their own 'kind', for want of a better word. Some time back, I got very close with an Asian, Muslim lady. As it looked as though things may progress, she put a stop to anything happening between us, telling me that she has feelings for me but nothing could happen, because if her friends, family and community found out about us, that I'm a non Muslim and white, she would be disowned, and shunned. I pointed out that her brother was also seeing a non Muslim, white person. Her response was, that's ignored because he's male, and they see her as a slag. So I believe, the problem is cultural differences, rather than colour or race. When these cultures combine, we'll take bigger steps forward for a less divisive society. " Had I had a hat on when I read this reply then I would of happily doffed it to you. This is by far one of the best replies I've seen in any race related forum posts. | |||
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"Fuck me. Change the record. Pick another card to throw. Sick of hearing the racist one. " Boreing heh. " lets al get back to great Fabbing all one happy family " | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference." Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. | |||
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"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference. If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians. If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people. Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. " It’s not racism at all …. It’s personal choice who people like …  | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. " So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. | |||
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"Nothing to do with racism so stop with the race card.just because so folk are not interested in you!" Definitely is with some | |||
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"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference. If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians. If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people. Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. " Not sure why you are letting it bother you, I read profiles that say No Black Guys. There Preference and your right they could be racist,and choose to hide behind the Preference Card. There are racist people all over the world, Fab is not Immune from it. Take the advice move on, look for people whom don't mind meeting Asians. | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me." So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. | |||
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"Can’t hate people for their preference, I agree there are more people saying “no Asians” than anyone or anything else but can’t blame them. Everyone’s got a preference or type, that could be race, height, weight, body type etc Even most Asian single or couples tend to say no Asians and they have their reasonings But there are also people who don’t care and don’t mind asians, just gotta find them Doesn't bother me mate, just made and shared an observation.. Plenty of open minded, non judgemental people about " So if it doesn't bother you and there are plenty of other profiled to go for, why make a forum post about it? | |||
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"The biggest block is age almost over 80% state 55 max, but that's their choice. Where do you draw the line at what people perfer, to just saying they don't like over 55s?" Then there's the hairists, won't meet anyone with pubes! That's a significant proportion | |||
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"What an absolute load of bs... Can’t people stop banging on about racism.. Black don’t like black White don’t like white Black don’t like white Etc etc etc..: Scots don’t like English... Blah blah blah... Muppets " Well said. X | |||
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"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference. If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians. If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people. Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. " You're probably right, and that's a sad state of affairs in general. I do see lots of profiles that state no black guys, or white English people only... I tend to avoid them because they often don't seem like particularly nice or open minded people... I also see disabled people saying they struggle to meet too... I suppose my question would be, what is there to be done about it? Protected characteristics aside, this is a site for people looking for sex predominantly...there us no requirement for equal opportunities for someone picking a sexual partner...nobody has to be an equal opportunities fucker... I'm not just shrugging my shoulders about it per se...I think racism is a pernicious poison which underlies the fabric of all parts of our society...but I think you're fighting a losing battle in this place in particular because ultimately everyone has the absolute right to choose who they fuck and that may very well exclude you... | |||
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"The stench is clear so far!! anybody have a spare bottle of " Oust" ?? Mod pls close this thread. Any interesting other FABB world news sunday?? " Close the thread because although you have no interest in it, with nothing to add to the discussion, you can't help but comment anyway? Maybe practice self discipline instead. 
Sarcasm apart, just skip on by and look at other threads. | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. " So what if someone is racist? Seriously? | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. So what if someone is racist? Seriously?" Good grief. | |||
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"So mix of sexism and racism.. What are your thoughts? Would to hear from other Asian men/women and couples , TS/cd " Looking at this site and fora, id probably agree. | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. So what if someone is racist? Seriously? Good grief." ?? | |||
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"So mix of sexism and racism.. What are your thoughts? Would to hear from other Asian men/women and couples , TS/cd Looking at this site and fora, id probably agree. " Im sure youll get plenty of grief for daring to mention it to op. Which is a different response to the usual cuddles and outrage people get with racism against black folk. I think its a valid point that merits proper debate. | |||
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"What an absolute load of bs... Can’t people stop banging on about racism.. Black don’t like black White don’t like white Black don’t like white Etc etc etc..: Scots don’t like English... Blah blah blah... Muppets " | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. So what if someone is racist? Seriously?" Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it? Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead... | |||
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Of course there are racist people within the swinging community, just as there are in just about every community in the world.
Here we are back on the merry go round. | |||
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"So mix of sexism and racism.. What are your thoughts? Would to hear from other Asian men/women and couples , TS/cd Looking at this site and fora, id probably agree. " What exactly do you agree with and how is the “site and fora” complicit? Care to expand for debate? | |||
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"This is as bad as the idiots who bang on about global warming.... It’s the cycle of sun earth moon.. Nothing you can do... And as for the erosion of land.. Sea level is rising because all over the world countries are doing land reclamation and all the massive ships boats etc etc.. It’s the arcamedis effect... All the mining of land used to hold water... Etc etc... We’re just getting ripped off by the governments of the world again" Where to start…the oceans of the world hold a lot of water. 1.4 x 10 to the power 18, tonnes. The total displacement of all the worlds ships is 2.3 billion tonnes. Also a big number but only a minuscule fraction of the size of the ocean. For context, melting ice from Antarctica alone contributes a bigger number in less than two years. Melting land based ice is only one contributing factor to sea level rises (about 25%-30%) and not even the most significant one. Thermal expansion accounts for 40-50%. Reclaiming land can impact sea level where the stuff used comes from the land but not where it is dredged from the sea bed surrounding. It happens in shallow coastal areas and, therefore the impact on the vastness of the ocean is small. Groundwater depletion also contributes to sea level rises as you say, also man made. It is illogical to use the fact that two minor contributors to sea level rises are not due to burning fossil fuels to not take action against the major causes. People who bang on about it are not idiots, they are highly educated scientists and there is something we can do about it. A lot of people who question anthropogenic climate change also question the existence ,extent and impact of racism. Just saying. For the record, I don’t think expressing a sexual preference is racist and also for the record we have played with Asian people. | |||
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"OP’s disappeared. But this is still going. Popcorn anyone. " He’ll be back in a few days with another “Any Asian couples meet” type thread. | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. So what if someone is racist? Seriously? Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it? Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead... " Now that's better. Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former. | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. So what if someone is racist? Seriously? Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it? Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead... Now that's better. Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former." Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism. | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. So what if someone is racist? Seriously? Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it? Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead... Now that's better. Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former. Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism. " Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile. | |||
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"Might be better just not to write it on profiles." I kind of agree with this to a point. However, people are always advised to write as much information as possible on their profiles. Maybe it would be better to say 'I have a preference for....' You'd still have people complain though. | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. So what if someone is racist? Seriously? Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it? Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead... Now that's better. Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former. Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism. Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile." Exactly! | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. So what if someone is racist? Seriously? Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it? Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead... Now that's better. Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former. Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism. Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile. Exactly! " Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started. | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. So what if someone is racist? Seriously? Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it? Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead... Now that's better. Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former. Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism. Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile. Exactly! Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started. " So you also agree stating things like “no Asian guys” isn’t necessarily racist. Perfect, we agree. | |||
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"So mix of sexism and racism.. What are your thoughts? Would to hear from other Asian men/women and couples , TS/cd Looking at this site and fora, id probably agree. What exactly do you agree with and how is the “site and fora” complicit? Care to expand for debate?" Sure. People make excuses for their racism by calling it "just preferences" so thats not racism... Or is it..? Or they excuse it by saying.... "ah but i had a bad experience with an asian man" amd therefore all asian men are the same. It just lazy thinking. For those with "preferences" to include or exclude based solely on race. At least admit it for what it is. | |||
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"So mix of sexism and racism.. What are your thoughts? Would to hear from other Asian men/women and couples , TS/cd Looking at this site and fora, id probably agree. What exactly do you agree with and how is the “site and fora” complicit? Care to expand for debate? Sure. People make excuses for their racism by calling it "just preferences" so thats not racism... Or is it..? Or they excuse it by saying.... "ah but i had a bad experience with an asian man" amd therefore all asian men are the same. It just lazy thinking. For those with "preferences" to include or exclude based solely on race. At least admit it for what it is. " This | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. So what if someone is racist? Seriously? Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it? Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead... Now that's better. Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former. Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism. Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile. Exactly! Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started. So you also agree stating things like “no Asian guys” isn’t necessarily racist. Perfect, we agree. "For clarity. No. I dont agree with that at all. But we are having a debate and allowed to have different opinions. | |||
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"Now that's better. Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former. Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism. Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile. Exactly! Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started. So you also agree stating things like “no Asian guys” isn’t necessarily racist. Perfect, we agree.
For clarity. No. I dont agree with that at all. But we are having a debate and allowed to have different opinions."Then I’m not sure what your previous comment was actually about. More than happy to debate. | |||
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"OP’s disappeared. But this is still going. Popcorn anyone. He’ll be back in a few days with another “Any Asian couples meet” type thread." Probably. I’ll have to get supplies in. Lol | |||
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"My preference is Asian women, but my chances are slim. My partner doesn’t mind Asian men at all. Now My belief is the No Asian preference comment on people’s profiles comes not from the colour of skin, but from the attitude of some single Asian men. If is known that the majority of troublemakers on the club scene are Asian men, the majority of those banned from clubs are Asian men. Why? The misdemeanours include constant touching without consent, then when warned, they play the don’t understand card. The club rules are there prior the party, told again on arrival so there is no doubt agreement of rules is understood. However unwanted behaviour normally continues. My belief it’s within the culture, a lower respect thing that men have with women. It’s NOT all Asian men, I know some very decent and respectful guys, it is however a reputation that exists so therefore as it is naturally more difficult within the scene. Preferences are real. Don’t be a snowflake. Women like 6ft guys, I stand no chance, but I naturally am not attracted to tall women either, so It works both ways. Racist it isn’t." Good luck with having that view round here  | |||
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"Question... Can a preference be racist? Or sexist? Or because it uses the word preference, does it get a free pass? " Question…is a preference always racist, or is it sometimes not? Have asked the question countless times and no one will give a direct answer without going off on some massive tangent. In fairness I’ll answer yours first. Yes it can be both. Your turn. | |||
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"The stench is clear so far!! anybody have a spare bottle of " Oust" ?? Mod pls close this thread. Any interesting other FABB world news sunday?? Close the thread because although you have no interest in it, with nothing to add to the discussion, you can't help but comment anyway? Maybe practice self discipline instead.
Sarcasm apart, just skip on by and look at other threads. "It's amazing how often people want threads banned because they don't agree with the general gist. This is a sense of entitlement coming from some people. They think that any views other than theirs must be censored or removed. Stunning arrogance. | |||
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Op - You can only change yourself for certain. Sure you can spend all your energy being upset, angry or frustrated by other people’s thoughts/beliefs or preferences in this case. But such energy could be better spent on working on yourself be it mental or physically and you will have much more fulfilment and success (in all areas if life). Sure you can question it once, but repeatedly dwelling on an issue vocally is not going to make people suddenly change their view, but just reinforce it.
Preferences in dating is not racism in itself. But it’s not as binary as that, for example, if the preference is rooted in negative stereotype this could manifest it (another complex topic).
I can completely understand why people would be hesitant to meet with south-asian men. And by me having realised and understood why, I learned what not to be (not just in sex, but in life which is way more important). And what not to be should be applicable for every person.
I also have a preference, which is that I don’t date women from my native culture which is rooted in a stereotype which could be deemed negative or positive.
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. So what if someone is racist? Seriously? Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it? Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead... Now that's better. Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former. Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism. Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile. Exactly! Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started. So you also agree stating things like “no Asian guys” isn’t necessarily racist. Perfect, we agree. "I don't think that anyone has said that "no Asian guys" is racist... However, by stating its not necessarily racist clearly suggests that in some profiles preferences may be driven by racism. And there lies the problem. Racists. | |||
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"Such a topic on race and sexual attraction is way to complex to be had on a swingers forum whilst we’re standing here with our dick in our hand
Op - You can only change yourself for certain. Sure you can spend all your energy being upset, angry or frustrated by other people’s thoughts/beliefs or preferences in this case. But such energy could be better spent on working on yourself be it mental or physically and you will have much more fulfilment and success (in all areas if life). Sure you can question it once, but repeatedly dwelling on an issue vocally is not going to make people suddenly change their view, but just reinforce it.
Preferences in dating is not racism in itself. But it’s not as binary as that, for example, if the preference is rooted in negative stereotype this could manifest it (another complex topic).
I can completely understand why people would be hesitant to meet with south-asian men. And by me having realised and understood why, I learned what not to be (not just in sex, but in life which is way more important). And what not to be should be applicable for every person.
I also have a preference, which is that I don’t date women from my native culture which is rooted in a stereotype which could be deemed negative or positive.
"A very well constructed post from someone who I assume is of Asian heritage. Bravo sir | |||
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"Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former. Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism. Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile. Exactly! Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started. So you also agree stating things like “no Asian guys” isn’t necessarily racist. Perfect, we agree.
I don't think that anyone has said that "no Asian guys" is racist...
However, by stating its not necessarily racist clearly suggests that in some profiles preferences may be driven by racism.
And there lies the problem. Racists."I think most of us can rally around that. Point me towards a profile that is genuinely racist and I’ll happily report them. It’s the people on here that think EVERYONE that states things like “not into Asian guys” are racist that I have an issue with. Although I wouldn’t agree with it, I’d respect them more if they were at least consistent and weren’t massive fucking hypocrites. | |||
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"Such a topic on race and sexual attraction is way to complex to be had on a swingers forum whilst we’re standing here with our dick in our hand
Op - You can only change yourself for certain. Sure you can spend all your energy being upset, angry or frustrated by other people’s thoughts/beliefs or preferences in this case. But such energy could be better spent on working on yourself be it mental or physically and you will have much more fulfilment and success (in all areas if life). Sure you can question it once, but repeatedly dwelling on an issue vocally is not going to make people suddenly change their view, but just reinforce it.
Preferences in dating is not racism in itself. But it’s not as binary as that, for example, if the preference is rooted in negative stereotype this could manifest it (another complex topic).
I can completely understand why people would be hesitant to meet with south-asian men. And by me having realised and understood why, I learned what not to be (not just in sex, but in life which is way more important). And what not to be should be applicable for every person.
I also have a preference, which is that I don’t date women from my native culture which is rooted in a stereotype which could be deemed negative or positive.
"Perfectly put! | |||
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"This is why we like clubs, you see the people for who they are. Although people probably aren't racist by writing it, but saying you aren't interested in an entire race seems a little harsh. Might be better just not to write it on profiles. If its a preference then you just have to say you're not interested " To which "entire race" are you referring? The OP just states "South Asian men". Not a race. I think there are some nuggets of truth as to the reasons people don't want to meet this demographic throughout this thread, but the instant reaction from some others of "racism" or "stereotyping" puts them off from speaking their truth. Bess x | |||
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"Honestly if you feel there is racism in swinging - why swing? I see plenty of profiles that have just a preference to black cock etc - is that racist? Nope it's preference. You are happy to put Asian only threads up and that's fine, it's a preference. It's preference but what drives that preference? My preference is blonde. My preference is big ties. My preference is size 8. That's just what I prefer. But, would I put these preferences on a profile and refuse a brunette with small tits and a size 12? Probably not if she is stunning and if think I would enjoy her company... But skin colour? I don't understand why skin colour is a problem for some people so I would like to understand what drives such a preference. Why does it matter? Again if someone only wants black guys why should they change that? Maybe they find black guys more attractive? There are plenty black guy fan clubs and racism doesn't even come up. So 100 men in a room. 50 white and 50 black. Are all the black men more attractive than all the white men? I 100% appreciate that a preference for black men for some women but NO white men? Or, in the context of no black men, why not? All sounds a bit fickle or racist to me. So what if someone is fickle or racist? They can fuck who they want to and avoid those they don't want to fuck. So what if someone is racist? Seriously? Within the context of the site and what it's there for...finding people to fuck...I suppose my question would be so what should be done about it? Not allow people to express their preference? Expel people who do? Ban them? Force them to give everyone an equal opportunity? They'll just knock people back in private instead... Now that's better. Preferences are fine. However, my original question is what is driving this preference. Its either racism or its something else and I suspect in many cases, it's the former. Previous experiences or possibly just attraction? Neither have to have ANY link to racism. Of course they CAN have a link to racism. A racist would likely put no black on their profile. Exactly! Or no asians. Which i believe is where we started. So you also agree stating things like “no Asian guys” isn’t necessarily racist. Perfect, we agree.
I don't think that anyone has said that "no Asian guys" is racist...
However, by stating its not necessarily racist clearly suggests that in some profiles preferences may be driven by racism.
And there lies the problem. Racists."Although I don't necessarily disagree, I think the issue in this case is less one of race and more on cultural or religious (maybe) differences. I think many of the OP's other posted threads may well strengthen my view here, whilst also expressing his own preference due to cultural/religious differences. I believe holding on to the term racism (in some cases, this being one) is not helpful at all, and comes across as attacking with no attempt to change opinions and attitudes, only to shame and silence. We need to do better to make a difference, we need to change the way these issues are approached. That's how I view it. | |||
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"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are. Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.” As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on. " Maybe you're right in that people don't like to admit where preferences come from. However, on the flip side, no one should ever have to explain a preference to a random person. | |||
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"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are. Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.” As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on. Maybe you're right in that people don't like to admit where preferences come from. However, on the flip side, no one should ever have to explain a preference to a random person." Totally agree. We owe strangers nothing, the sense of entitlement on here (from some, not all) is a huge problem. I don’t accommodate and I feel uncomfortable meeting strangers in hotels, but the amount of people who try to push past that boundary is so annoying. Whether someone is racist or not, we all are entitled to set our own boundaries and we don’t owe anyone an explanation. | |||
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"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are. Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.” As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on. " What YOU don’t like to admit (or are incapable of seeing), is other peoples outlooks and loved experiences. You can’t possibly think of any other reason, other than racism, and yet can almost guarantee you’re one of those people that screams inclusivity, show compassion wah wah wah. I really do hope you’ve blocked us as the one thing we do agree on is we would never get on. We like genuinely warm, caring, empathetic people…. | |||
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"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are. Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.” As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on. Maybe you're right in that people don't like to admit where preferences come from. However, on the flip side, no one should ever have to explain a preference to a random person." Yup. Some no doubt are racist, but then there’s some, like us, who most definitely aren’t. I’d love to see the likes of her say the same to our faces if they knew the reason why we state it. Truth is they wouldn’t dare, they’d be all fake compassion and hugs. Man fake people grind my gears. | |||
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"This is why we like clubs, you see the people for who they are. Although people probably aren't racist by writing it, but saying you aren't interested in an entire race seems a little harsh. Might be better just not to write it on profiles. If its a preference then you just have to say you're not interested To which "entire race" are you referring? The OP just states "South Asian men". Not a race. I think there are some nuggets of truth as to the reasons people don't want to meet this demographic throughout this thread, but the instant reaction from some others of "racism" or "stereotyping" puts them off from speaking their truth. Bess x" What? South Asian IS a racial and ethnic group - people of Pakistani, Bangladeshi and South Indian descent. | |||
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"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are. Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.” As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on. Maybe you're right in that people don't like to admit where preferences come from. However, on the flip side, no one should ever have to explain a preference to a random person. Yup. Some no doubt are racist, but then there’s some, like us, who most definitely aren’t. I’d love to see the likes of her say the same to our faces if they knew the reason why we state it. Truth is they wouldn’t dare, they’d be all fake compassion and hugs. Man fake people grind my gears. "If you want people to ask the reason then why not state it here? | |||
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"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are. Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.” As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on. Maybe you're right in that people don't like to admit where preferences come from. However, on the flip side, no one should ever have to explain a preference to a random person. Yup. Some no doubt are racist, but then there’s some, like us, who most definitely aren’t. I’d love to see the likes of her say the same to our faces if they knew the reason why we state it. Truth is they wouldn’t dare, they’d be all fake compassion and hugs. Man fake people grind my gears. "Can I just clarify, who is it you’re referring to with, “the likes of her”? | |||
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"I know people have preferences but if the preference is no south Asian men, then there is more to it than preference. If it was just about preference why don't people put no black, Chinese, or middle or south American etc it always no Asians. If it was preference, then why is the rejection only limited to Asian people. Asian men as bottom of the pecking order. " i have to say, your post is straight up BS. i have seen many profiles thay say no whites, no blacks, no asian, no turkish, or black only, asian only etc. it may seem to you thays its always no asians, bit that probanly because you are asian and rake note of that more. If you feel a person is racist agaisnt your race, why would youbwant to meet them let alone give them sexual.pleasure? | |||
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"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are. Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.” As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on. Maybe you're right in that people don't like to admit where preferences come from. However, on the flip side, no one should ever have to explain a preference to a random person. Yup. Some no doubt are racist, but then there’s some, like us, who most definitely aren’t. I’d love to see the likes of her say the same to our faces if they knew the reason why we state it. Truth is they wouldn’t dare, they’d be all fake compassion and hugs. Man fake people grind my gears.
Can I just clarify, who is it you’re referring to with, “the likes of her”?"No. Not falling for the ban bait thanks.
If the cap fits though… | |||
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"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are. Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.” As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on. What YOU don’t like to admit (or are incapable of seeing), is other peoples outlooks and loved experiences. You can’t possibly think of any other reason, other than racism, and yet can almost guarantee you’re one of those people that screams inclusivity, show compassion wah wah wah. I really do hope you’ve blocked us as the one thing we do agree on is we would never get on. We like genuinely warm, caring, empathetic people…." I blocked you when you outed yourself as transphobic in another thread. I haven’t actually read your comments on this thread but you seem to have taken my comments very personally. Maybe you need to think about why that is? Anyway I’ve reported you for targeting me unnecessarily within a thread where you could have just skipped my response, and should have, given my blocking you. You don’t know me, but believe me, if i met you I would have NO qualms in voicing my opinion. | |||
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"What many people don’t like to admit is that their “preferences” come from a place of racial bias. If you’re disregarding an entire race based on skin colour alone, why is that? Of course people are free to have sex with who they wish, but if you’re triggered by someone asking why you’re making that decision, maybe the reasons why aren’t what you’d like to think they are. Interestingly I’ve never heard a totally anti-racist person refer to the existence of a “race card.” As far as how to negotiate fab with all this… any profile mentioning a blanket exclusion of an entire race is doing me a favour, we wouldn’t get on. What YOU don’t like to admit (or are incapable of seeing), is other peoples outlooks and loved experiences. You can’t possibly think of any other reason, other than racism, and yet can almost guarantee you’re one of those people that screams inclusivity, show compassion wah wah wah. I really do hope you’ve blocked us as the one thing we do agree on is we would never get on. We like genuinely warm, caring, empathetic people…. I blocked you when you outed yourself as transphobic in another thread. I haven’t actually read your comments on this thread but you seem to have taken my comments very personally. Maybe you need to think about why that is? Anyway I’ve reported you for targeting me unnecessarily within a thread where you could have just skipped my response, and should have, given my blocking you. You don’t know me, but believe me, if i met you I would have NO qualms in voicing my opinion. " Thank god you blocked us for having an opinion that most definitely was NOT transphobic, much like we’re not racist. Feel free to quote ANY transphobic, or factory thing we’ve said…you won’t be able to. I’m just debating your (weak) points. Maybe you should read all our comments like I’ve read yours? You can report what you like, should I do the same for that last response? I can GUARANTEE you wouldn’t if you knew the reason we have it in our profile. | |||
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