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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire

Recently I have been getting a lot of messages from ladies who have hidden profiles. Is this just me? And why is this a thing at the moment???

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I ve had them ,plus winks in the past.

I just delete them,if i can't see them i won't be interested.

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

Don't reply.

Sounds harsh but what's the point. It's a non starter

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"I ve had them ,plus winks in the past.

I just delete them,if i can't see them i won't be interested."

Thanks. I do delete them, I don't understand why anyone would reply to someone they can't see. Makes no sense and is a waste of everyone's time. I have had the odd one in the past but lately they are more common, I was just curious as to why.

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Don't reply.

Sounds harsh but what's the point. It's a non starter"

Exactly! I mean I like to put an effort into my replies, but what do you even reply to someone you can't see or know nothing about?

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

If you get a wink from a hidden profile I didn’t think you could reply?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get a few, we just ignore them

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"I ve had them ,plus winks in the past.

I just delete them,if i can't see them i won't be interested.

Thanks. I do delete them, I don't understand why anyone would reply to someone they can't see. Makes no sense and is a waste of everyone's time. I have had the odd one in the past but lately they are more common, I was just curious as to why. "

I really don't know why they do it.Same as profiles with no pics at all and not much text,whos gonna respond to them either?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swamped with them at the moment.

I don’t even open the message.

Swift delete and block.

As others have said, what’s the point?

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire


"Don't reply.

Sounds harsh but what's the point. It's a non starter

Exactly! I mean I like to put an effort into my replies, but what do you even reply to someone you can't see or know nothing about? "

i bet the message they sent you started with 'hi'

yet all women complain about is getting messages starting with that.

its a double standard and you should bin it.

poor conversation, poor in bed.

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

Similarly, why do people post in forum discussions and hide their profile?

Seems rude to me. Either you want to be part of the conversation or you don’t.

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"I ve had them ,plus winks in the past.

I just delete them,if i can't see them i won't be interested.

Thanks. I do delete them, I don't understand why anyone would reply to someone they can't see. Makes no sense and is a waste of everyone's time. I have had the odd one in the past but lately they are more common, I was just curious as to why.

I really don't know why they do it.Same as profiles with no pics at all and not much text,whos gonna respond to them either?."

Yes I don't reply to profiles with no text and no photos either, however I do understand privicy so will reply to a very well written profile that has private photos.

Being a guy I'm not exactly swamped with Messages, so it's very disappointing when I see I have a new message but it's from a blank or hidden profile. Haha x

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I have every filter set to off for newbies, unverified, no pictures, etc. That gets rid of all these problems.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Also had them, from Couples, Guys & Women. Always a bit confusing, same as winking and fab’ing pic’s from hidden profiles. We just ignore

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Don't reply.

Sounds harsh but what's the point. It's a non starter

Exactly! I mean I like to put an effort into my replies, but what do you even reply to someone you can't see or know nothing about?

i bet the message they sent you started with 'hi'

yet all women complain about is getting messages starting with that.

its a double standard and you should bin it.

poor conversation, poor in bed."

Haha yep you're not wrong.

I do understand what you are saying, but let's be honest a guy will still reply to a message from an attractive lady, even if it is just a "Hi how are you?" And actually I have had some good meets with ladies that have just sent a quick Hi or hello message.

Ladies do have the luxury of being able to get away with that, as men are not swamped with messages. For a lady they get 100s of boring messages so if a guy wants to stand out he better put the effort in.

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By *landfordfabbersCouple
over a year ago

Blandford ish


"I ve had them ,plus winks in the past.

I just delete them,if i can't see them i won't be interested."

This!

We get it! I feel like it’s a no go from the outset, so just ignore it

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Swamped with them at the moment.

I don’t even open the message.

Swift delete and block.

As others have said, what’s the point? "

Well I can see why you would be swamped with messages, quite a profile you have there x

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By *offee27Man
over a year ago

Wiltshire

I've had mine hidden due to no interest in meeting with my mental health. Happy to chat, just not got any mojo lately

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"We get a few, we just ignore them "

I do, but is this a recent phenomena, or have others always had this? It's quite a new thing for me to have them?

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Also had them, from Couples, Guys & Women. Always a bit confusing, same as winking and fab’ing pic’s from hidden profiles. We just ignore "

I guess I'm lucky to be a guy as ladies and couples seem to get this more than me. Still bloody annoying and stupid however

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"I ve had them ,plus winks in the past.

I just delete them,if i can't see them i won't be interested.

This!

We get it! I feel like it’s a no go from the outset, so just ignore it "

Indeed, it is a no go from the get go. Waste of thier time too, that's what I don't understand.

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

i always recommend women to block single man using the message filters. so they can seek out the right man for them.

but that means having to do some work and they do not want to do that.

in my experience the people that complain about the quality of messages they get never ever complain about the attention.

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire

From what I have observed there are not many guys who use filters, generally we don't need to as we don't get bombarded with 1000s of messages like women and couples do. But we are all different and all entitled to use this app however we see fit, or however it works best for them

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"I have every filter set to off for newbies, unverified, no pictures, etc. That gets rid of all these problems."

Sadly people can cheat the no pic filter by adding one and then deleting it again.

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"I have every filter set to off for newbies, unverified, no pictures, etc. That gets rid of all these problems.

Sadly people can cheat the no pic filter by adding one and then deleting it again."

Unfortunately peole will always try it on. I have seen profiles that were set up less than an hour ago with 4 met in person verifications from guys saying they had a fantastic night with them.. Really!?!

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby


"Don't reply.

Sounds harsh but what's the point. It's a non starter"

So that's why you never reply

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Don't reply.

Sounds harsh but what's the point. It's a non starter

So that's why you never reply "

Must try harder Missy!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Similarly, why do people post in forum discussions and hide their profile?

Seems rude to me. Either you want to be part of the conversation or you don’t. "

That's completely different.

If you're not looking to meet then hiding cuts down on messages. Nobody needs to have a visible profile in order to contribute to the forums and whether people can see your pictures and text makes absolutely no difference to any opinion, comment of view posted in a forum topic.

You don't need to view the profile of someone who posts. What difference does it make whether you can see someone or not?

It's what they say that matters. Not how they look, what they're here for or anything else.

A

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Similarly, why do people post in forum discussions and hide their profile?

Seems rude to me. Either you want to be part of the conversation or you don’t.

That's completely different.

If you're not looking to meet then hiding cuts down on messages. Nobody needs to have a visible profile in order to contribute to the forums and whether people can see your pictures and text makes absolutely no difference to any opinion, comment of view posted in a forum topic.

You don't need to view the profile of someone who posts. What difference does it make whether you can see someone or not?

It's what they say that matters. Not how they look, what they're here for or anything else.

A"

It depends on what they say. I've seen comments from hidden profiles criticising other profiles or complaining about their lack of effort.

In cases like that it removes context and the validity of their criticism if no-one can compare and contrast because the person on the receiving end has nothing to work with and will therefore take offence where maybe none was intended.

Eg. A profile with no pics and a poor bio could easily criticise a profile with no pics and an equally poor bio but if they are hidden they can't be challenged.

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Similarly, why do people post in forum discussions and hide their profile?

Seems rude to me. Either you want to be part of the conversation or you don’t.

That's completely different.

If you're not looking to meet then hiding cuts down on messages. Nobody needs to have a visible profile in order to contribute to the forums and whether people can see your pictures and text makes absolutely no difference to any opinion, comment of view posted in a forum topic.

You don't need to view the profile of someone who posts. What difference does it make whether you can see someone or not?

It's what they say that matters. Not how they look, what they're here for or anything else.

A

It depends on what they say. I've seen comments from hidden profiles criticising other profiles or complaining about their lack of effort.

In cases like that it removes context and the validity of their criticism if no-one can compare and contrast because the person on the receiving end has nothing to work with and will therefore take offence where maybe none was intended.

Eg. A profile with no pics and a poor bio could easily criticise a profile with no pics and an equally poor bio but if they are hidden they can't be challenged.

"

Both have good points here, and all options are welcomed as long as we keep it polite and friendly.

Just to add to this I also welcome posts from people who do hide their profile, they may have a very genuine and valid reason for doing so. It's always good to learn and get another perspective on this discussion x

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Similarly, why do people post in forum discussions and hide their profile?

Seems rude to me. Either you want to be part of the conversation or you don’t.

That's completely different.

If you're not looking to meet then hiding cuts down on messages. Nobody needs to have a visible profile in order to contribute to the forums and whether people can see your pictures and text makes absolutely no difference to any opinion, comment of view posted in a forum topic.

You don't need to view the profile of someone who posts. What difference does it make whether you can see someone or not?

It's what they say that matters. Not how they look, what they're here for or anything else.

A

It depends on what they say. I've seen comments from hidden profiles criticising other profiles or complaining about their lack of effort.

In cases like that it removes context and the validity of their criticism if no-one can compare and contrast because the person on the receiving end has nothing to work with and will therefore take offence where maybe none was intended.

Eg. A profile with no pics and a poor bio could easily criticise a profile with no pics and an equally poor bio but if they are hidden they can't be challenged.

"

That's a very specific scenario though, and I'd agree on that.

Of course some people are curious when statements are made. The ability to view a profile is useful when people are giving examples, making very strongly opinionated remarks or being critical, as you can look to see if what they say is consistent with how they present themselves and the way they describe themselves to others. There have been plenty of occasions that people have essentially contradicted themselves in forum posts vs profile content in the past and they've (rightly imho) been pulled up on hypocrisy.

But I don't see that there should ever be a rules or expectation that people should be visible in order to post.

Many hide for short periods when taking breaks or adjusting their lifestyle and approach to Fab. It doesn't make their views any less welcome or relevant.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Currently hidden as don't want any messages but then would not bother messaging others when my profile is hidden.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I now hide my profile when I log off, sometimes I forget to show it when I come back online.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete them. If profile is hidden there is nothing for me too read etc. So ... Delete and move on. But each to there own

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

[Removed by poster at 16/05/23 16:42:37]

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny


"Similarly, why do people post in forum discussions and hide their profile?

Seems rude to me. Either you want to be part of the conversation or you don’t.

That's completely different.

If you're not looking to meet then hiding cuts down on messages. Nobody needs to have a visible profile in order to contribute to the forums and whether people can see your pictures and text makes absolutely no difference to any opinion, comment of view posted in a forum topic.

You don't need to view the profile of someone who posts. What difference does it make whether you can see someone or not?

It's what they say that matters. Not how they look, what they're here for or anything else.

A

It depends on what they say. I've seen comments from hidden profiles criticising other profiles or complaining about their lack of effort.

In cases like that it removes context and the validity of their criticism if no-one can compare and contrast because the person on the receiving end has nothing to work with and will therefore take offence where maybe none was intended.

Eg. A profile with no pics and a poor bio could easily criticise a profile with no pics and an equally poor bio but if they are hidden they can't be challenged.

That's a very specific scenario though, and I'd agree on that.

Of course some people are curious when statements are made. The ability to view a profile is useful when people are giving examples, making very strongly opinionated remarks or being critical, as you can look to see if what they say is consistent with how they present themselves and the way they describe themselves to others. There have been plenty of occasions that people have essentially contradicted themselves in forum posts vs profile content in the past and they've (rightly imho) been pulled up on hypocrisy.

But I don't see that there should ever be a rules or expectation that people should be visible in order to post.

Many hide for short periods when taking breaks or adjusting their lifestyle and approach to Fab. It doesn't make their views any less welcome or relevant.

A"

It’s like being in a group with one person standing behind a curtain and still expecting to be part of the conversation.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Similarly, why do people post in forum discussions and hide their profile?

Seems rude to me. Either you want to be part of the conversation or you don’t.

That's completely different.

If you're not looking to meet then hiding cuts down on messages. Nobody needs to have a visible profile in order to contribute to the forums and whether people can see your pictures and text makes absolutely no difference to any opinion, comment of view posted in a forum topic.

You don't need to view the profile of someone who posts. What difference does it make whether you can see someone or not?

It's what they say that matters. Not how they look, what they're here for or anything else.

A

It depends on what they say. I've seen comments from hidden profiles criticising other profiles or complaining about their lack of effort.

In cases like that it removes context and the validity of their criticism if no-one can compare and contrast because the person on the receiving end has nothing to work with and will therefore take offence where maybe none was intended.

Eg. A profile with no pics and a poor bio could easily criticise a profile with no pics and an equally poor bio but if they are hidden they can't be challenged.

That's a very specific scenario though, and I'd agree on that.

Of course some people are curious when statements are made. The ability to view a profile is useful when people are giving examples, making very strongly opinionated remarks or being critical, as you can look to see if what they say is consistent with how they present themselves and the way they describe themselves to others. There have been plenty of occasions that people have essentially contradicted themselves in forum posts vs profile content in the past and they've (rightly imho) been pulled up on hypocrisy.

But I don't see that there should ever be a rules or expectation that people should be visible in order to post.

Many hide for short periods when taking breaks or adjusting their lifestyle and approach to Fab. It doesn't make their views any less welcome or relevant.

A

It’s like being in a group with one person standing behind a curtain and still expecting to be part of the conversation. "

Nope. Not at all.

I've never met 99.9% of the people that use the forums but their comments are as valid as mine.

What if someone was blind and couldn't see profiles? Would their comments be any less valid? There used to be a guy (The Tactile Technician) in just that position and he was a forum regular for years. He had no clue what any of us looked like and it mattered not.

Thus isn't face to face chat with friends in the pub. It's an online forum. Most have no other visuals attached to poster than a profile pic and often they're cartoons, random pics of cars or emoji.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Similarly, why do people post in forum discussions and hide their profile?

Seems rude to me. Either you want to be part of the conversation or you don’t. "

Not sure I agree with this from purely a conversation POV, it shouldn’t matter that I’m hidden I can still chat on here, it doesn’t effect my ability to articulate.

I have come across forum posters that make me wanna see more & I can’t as hidden, but that’s just me being a nosy mare….

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Similarly, why do people post in forum discussions and hide their profile?

Seems rude to me. Either you want to be part of the conversation or you don’t.

Not sure I agree with this from purely a conversation POV, it shouldn’t matter that I’m hidden I can still chat on here, it doesn’t effect my ability to articulate.

I have come across forum posters that make me wanna see more & I can’t as hidden, but that’s just me being a nosy mare…. "

You are more than welcome here my lovely

Thank you for your input x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Similarly, why do people post in forum discussions and hide their profile?

Seems rude to me. Either you want to be part of the conversation or you don’t.

Not sure I agree with this from purely a conversation POV, it shouldn’t matter that I’m hidden I can still chat on here, it doesn’t effect my ability to articulate.

I have come across forum posters that make me wanna see more & I can’t as hidden, but that’s just me being a nosy mare….

You are more than welcome here my lovely

Thank you for your input x"

I’m currently on display

I dip & out of fabs so sometimes it’s just easier to be hidden.

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By *e renard de la campagneMan
over a year ago

Surrey mostly when over


"Don't reply.

Sounds harsh but what's the point. It's a non starter

So that's why you never reply "

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By *e renard de la campagneMan
over a year ago

Surrey mostly when over

I seem to get hidden messages from men but none from women! Hey and indeed ho I suppose, each to their own x

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By *r Mind Candy OP   Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Similarly, why do people post in forum discussions and hide their profile?

Seems rude to me. Either you want to be part of the conversation or you don’t.

Not sure I agree with this from purely a conversation POV, it shouldn’t matter that I’m hidden I can still chat on here, it doesn’t effect my ability to articulate.

I have come across forum posters that make me wanna see more & I can’t as hidden, but that’s just me being a nosy mare….

You are more than welcome here my lovely

Thank you for your input x

I’m currently on display

I dip & out of fabs so sometimes it’s just easier to be hidden."

You are definitely worth dipping in and out of

Thank you for sharing x

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Doesnt bother me too much, we either just don't open open the message and leave it unread or read it and if it seems interesting wait it out to see if they unhide or if its not then delete.

What irks me is those that get round the public pics filter we have by putting one up and then hiding it again once the message is sent, if we can't see you then it's bye bye one for the incognito and two for cheating the filter it's there for a reason.

Tinder x

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