FabSwingers.com forum: Menopause

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Apologies for the deep post in advance. I've recently been struggling with the menopause, my mood swings mainly. Not being sure how I feel in myself, one minute lifes great the next i'm rock bottom.My partner doesn't know how to take me and most of the time I can't explain why I feel the way I do. Does anyone have any advice for me or him on how to deal with this. Any input would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you been to the doctor's for starters

Next have you considered HRT

If so and you are not yet on it it's a game changer

But I would go straight for the gel

As with me and many I have spoken to the pills are not all that good

The gel as made a big difference with every symptom of the menopause

You still take one pill last two weeks of your cycle but but use the gel nightly good luck ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have you been to the doctor's for starters

Next have you considered HRT

If so and you are not yet on it it's a game changer

But I would go straight for the gel

As with me and many I have spoken to the pills are not all that good

The gel as made a big difference with every symptom of the menopause

You still take one pill last two weeks of your cycle but but use the gel nightly good luck ??"

I have the pills but never tried the gel. I will try and get an appt with the doctor. Thank you for your help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you been to the doctor's for starters

Next have you considered HRT

If so and you are not yet on it it's a game changer

But I would go straight for the gel

As with me and many I have spoken to the pills are not all that good

The gel as made a big difference with every symptom of the menopause

You still take one pill last two weeks of your cycle but but use the gel nightly good luck ??

I have the pills but never tried the gel. I will try and get an appt with the doctor. Thank you for your help"

You will see the difference in a couple of days doctors are reluctant to give it out

As it is more expensive

But be persistent and tell them you want it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a full hysterectomy in October last year which really kicked the menopause in. My moods aren't too bad but the hot flushes and night sweats are awful, also my libido goes all over the place which is really annoying. Thankfully I spoke to my GP and I now have HRT patches, only been on them a couple of weeks so keeping my fingers crossed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patches work for me

I still have days that I swing from happy to angry, but it's less often now

Keep on at the drs till you get heard

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Apologies for the deep post in advance. I've recently been struggling with the menopause, my mood swings mainly. Not being sure how I feel in myself, one minute lifes great the next i'm rock bottom.My partner doesn't know how to take me and most of the time I can't explain why I feel the way I do. Does anyone have any advice for me or him on how to deal with this. Any input would be appreciated. Thanks in advance."

Patches work! I had 2 years of being all over the place and am now on patches and they have made me happier, calmer, more controlled and a bit hornier. Feel your pain, talk to your GP and push them, no need to feel so rubbish!

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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

From a blokes perspective, and my experience, so advice to your husband, and/or help for you to see things from his perspective too.

I'm sure he's supportive and always thinks he's doing the right thing but, he's walking on eggshells because he never knows which way your mood will swing at any one time, pretty much like yourself. You don't know why you strike out at times and he doesn't know if it's something he's done or not. He knows you're suffering and can't help it but he's frustrated that he can't help you.

Us men don't envy you women one bit when it comes to menopause, we know it can tear you apart for a while and that hits us hard when we see you struggling.

As other posters have said, hrt is a life changer for both of both you. May take a while to find out what works for you but when you do your life will get back to some sort of normality and your relationship with your husband can get back on track.

To your husband, just support your wife mate. You already know she's going through hell and the one thing she needs is to know you'll be there for her. Some days it's bloody tough, especially if you get stuff thrown at you or get verbally abused for what seems like nothing, but that's not really your wife doing that. Stick in, you will get her back.

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By *dventuresWithEveWoman
over a year ago

SW Birmingham outskirts

Because of my youngish age (apparently) for being peri menopausal, my GP put Menon the mini pill, rather than specific get meds. I was fine in them for the last couple years, but now the mood swings are getting worse again and I've been experiencing social anxiety, associated anger episodes and more recently starting to feel the heat, if you know what I mean. My GP is pretty good normally, but they're reluctant to acknowledge these symptoms. Not sure what to do next and how to approach it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been really lucky with my Dr, but have heard so many horrible stories about their experience from other women. This is a shit time in life without the people who are meant to help you just not.

I was given patches which were just useless, so was then given tablets to try. Those really have helped, and when they stop helping there are stronger ones I can get instead. Sony get me wrong, the symptoms haven't just disappeared, but they are a lot better than they were.

I've also looked into alternative ways to help the symptoms.

I've started wearing a silver anklet, and while I'm not really into crystals, I have looked into bracelets made with crystals that could help the symptoms as well. They're not that expensive, so nothing ventured and all that.

Hubby has been so understanding and patient which helps.

It's hard trying to explain it to someone who hasn't experienced it, but I tried and he kind of gets it. He knows it's not personal, so that's the important thing

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By *endricks321Couple
over a year ago

Oxfordshire

Get him to watch the Davina documentary. It'll help him understand and process.

Find time for yourself - be gentle with yourself.

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By *osie HotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Yorkshire, but on holiday in PDI

As a husband of a wife in menopause, I have been suggesting for the last few years that she is going through the change, only to be scolded by her! I recognised the symptoms from what my mother went through. Understandable that she got annoyed with me for suggesting it, but it was with good intentions. She has been on patches for 5 months now and as others have said, it's a game changer. Aside from mood swings and hot flushes, her biggest symptoms were night sweats. Most symptoms have now gone, still has the odd occasion of feeling low, but in her words, she doesn't feel like she is going crazy now! 2 of her older sisters went on them just before and recommended them to her. She had to be persistent and insist that she had the patches. She swaps between 2 different prescription patches every 3 days. Hopefully her libido will return too. Hope this helps.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all so much for your support and advice, it really is appreciated.

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By *orsche40Couple
over a year ago

northwich

Hi you Have nothing to apologise for, I am also going through the same no one prepares you for this and I have had the same struggles luckily I have a very patient husband my advice would be to give HRT a go I’m on the patches and they do help with the mood swings and general aches and pains the night sweats are still a problem!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi you Have nothing to apologise for, I am also going through the same no one prepares you for this and I have had the same struggles luckily I have a very patient husband my advice would be to give HRT a go I’m on the patches and they do help with the mood swings and general aches and pains the night sweats are still a problem!!"

I'm on the tablets but may need a higher dose, you're lucky to have an understanding partner. Mine calls me nuts and crazy, I have called the Dr but can't get a call back until the middle of June. Until then I will concentrate on myself and my needs and try to stay positive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For the night sweats, I know a few folk that swear by bamboo pyjamas and reckon they're a game changer. Might be worth a try x

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By *osie HotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Yorkshire, but on holiday in PDI

Hang on in there, you're not nuts or crazy and there is hope for hubby too! I'm sure he is just as supportive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All I can add to this is... talk to your partner, I'm sure he loves you and will appreciate being able to help your journey x

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By *osie HotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Yorkshire, but on holiday in PDI

I wonder if a dose change makes a difference to the symptoms that differ from person to person. Her night sweats have stopped but will feel low now and again, but libido is extremely low at the moment.

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By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago

Worcestershire

"Have you been to the doctor's for starters

Next have you considered HRT

If so and you are not yet on it it's a game changer

But I would go straight for the gel

As with me and many I have spoken to the pills are not all that good

The gel as made a big difference with every symptom of the menopause

You still take one pill last two weeks of your cycle but but use the gel nightly good luck ??

I have the pills but never tried the gel. I will try and get an appt with the doctor. Thank you for your help"

2nd HRT gel. Game charger

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By *9 kisses.Man
over a year ago

clacton on sea

My wife is going through this at the moment,

Mood swings are unreal, and hot flushes, her hands are hot to touch, reading some of these messages are a great help,

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By *atcherwankerMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

HRT isn't always a "game changer" for everybody, so try not to set your expectations too much to other people's experiences. But on the other side of the coin, research shows that a lot of GPs (male doctors in particular but absolutely some female doctors too) have poor knowledge or a tendency to disbelieve womens' accounts of their menopause symptoms. Bad or completely wrong advice isn't uncommon, and nor is just being fobbed off because they think you're exaggerating. Don't be afraid to be firm if you have to, and if they tell you something that sounds wrong, look up the research (not what some but on FB says!

) for yourself.

As for your husband, aside from giving him a clip round the ear, I think the best advice is to be completely honest and open with him about it. We have no real frame of reference, we know you get hot flushes and mood swings but nobody tells us about how dramatic the physical symptoms are, how uncomfortable/painful it can be, the chronic fatigue, how unpredictable your periods can get, or how hard it can impact your mental health. So, tell him! Be open with him, don't treat it like a 'dirty word', and encourage dialogue about it. If you're feeling menopause-y at a particular point let him know so he knows you're not just being a nut if your temper frays quickly or you get really upset for no reason or what have you. Similarly, if he suggests you might be having a hormone freakout try to consider rationally if maybe you really are blowing your top because of the menopause and not because he put your tea in the wrong mug!

TLDR: Be honest, open and frank, and ask him to be the same. If that doesn't help, kick him in the balls.

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By *edgirlWoman
over a year ago

Berkhamsted

"TLDR: Be honest, open and frank, and ask him to be the same. If that doesn't help, kick him in the balls.

Love this lol, and nice to hear it from a man hehe!! X

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

A serious and challenging issue for many women and their partners, lovers and friends. A struggle that is often masked.

Anne

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve discovered something this morning ladies… not sure who needs to hear this… you know the annoying glue bogies the patches leave? This morning I tried rubbing the sticky side of the old patch over it and it came right off! Stuck to the patch! Feel like I’ve levelled up lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve discovered something this morning ladies… not sure who needs to hear this… you know the annoying glue bogies the patches leave? This morning I tried rubbing the sticky side of the old patch over it and it came right off! Stuck to the patch! Feel like I’ve levelled up lol"

Baby oil also works

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By *ustus56Couple
over a year ago

rugby

mrs uses the gel and has for many years and never suffered from night sweats but mood swings happen often.during the period when hardly any gel was available she went onto the patches but the damn things kept falling off when in the bath or shower and even when playing so she was glad to get back onto the gel.if you do have the patches use baby oil to remove the glue that's left on the skin when you remove the patch

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By *arry CMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

My wife started it 15 yrs ago and was scared to try HRT because of fears from rumours of cancer from HRT.

Our sex life went out the window and she didn't want to talk about it and still doesn't.

You mention sex or anything to do with sex or touch her and she flys off the handle or tells you to shut up.

My advice is get HRT from Dr before your marriage goes to ruin and unless you have an understanding husband he will either stray from home or want a divorce unless he is prepared to give up sex to save the marriage.

Many men do give up sex to save their marriage and are understanding but a few are not .

Menopause can be a great strain on the marriage and many divorces are caused by it.

Please talk to your husband and tell him what your going through and go to the Dr.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just recently went to GP and they have been fantastic just started on patches last week and had blood tests etc.

Already feeling a little less low and sleeping better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely chat to your GP or if there are multiple GPs at the surgery ask if one specialises in menopause.

There's a menopause matters website which provides useful information and support too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My wife started it 15 yrs ago and was scared to try HRT because of fears from rumours of cancer from HRT.

Our sex life went out the window and she didn't want to talk about it and still doesn't.

You mention sex or anything to do with sex or touch her and she flys off the handle or tells you to shut up.

Many men do give up sex to save their marriage and are understanding but a few are not .

Menopause can be a great strain on the marriage and many divorces are caused by it.

Please talk to your husband and tell him what your going through and go to the Dr."

Gosh, I need to stay positive and not think of him leaving me or finding someone else. I'm on tablets and I'm feeling slightly better. My sex drive hasn't dried up, if anything I want it more. So that's a plus. Thanks for the advice

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Patches and pills for me hot flushes have calmed down. Moods better.

Men sadly don't understand as they don't experience the symptoms just the aftermath

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My wife started it 15 yrs ago and was scared to try HRT because of fears from rumours of cancer from HRT.

Our sex life went out the window and she didn't want to talk about it and still doesn't.

You mention sex or anything to do with sex or touch her and she flys off the handle or tells you to shut up.

Many men do give up sex to save their marriage and are understanding but a few are not .

Menopause can be a great strain on the marriage and many divorces are caused by it.

Please talk to your husband and tell him what your going through and go to the Dr."

No point staying married to a woman who won't fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Patches and pills for me hot flushes have calmed down. Moods better.

Men sadly don't understand as they don't experience the symptoms just the aftermath "

It's time they made men take hormone pills so they experience period pain, mood swings and menopause.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Patches and pills for me hot flushes have calmed down. Moods better.

Men sadly don't understand as they don't experience the symptoms just the aftermath

It's time they made men take hormone pills so they experience period pain, mood swings and menopause. "

Have you watched the period pain and labour pain simulators on YouTube? Hilarious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I luckily have an understanding GP and asked if I could try Testosterone gel. He agreed and I’ve found it’s really helped.

I know some GP’s are reluctant to prescribe it but it’s worth a read up about it.

Hope things improve for you very soon!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Menopause is one of the hardest things women have to go through, it's not a one size fits all and a very confusing, emotional time.

Like some of the ladies on here I had to have surgery, unfortunately mine due to Cancer.

The Menopause stripped me of my former self, I felt id been hit by a bus!

That was 5 years ago, I'm beginning to find a new version of me, and slowly but surely getting my confidence back.

I started with Patches, then went to the gel,but now back to patches, only because of the lack of supply for the gel( so I was told).

The advantage of the patches is twice weekly ie Tuesday/Friday for example and don't have to think about it between that time.

Disadvantage, the glue is a bugger to rub off and you have glue patches everywhere

( hopefully it's not just me)

I no longer have hot flushes, unless, I've had too much sugar/coffee/alcohol.

And wouldn't be without my HRT.

The best advice is talk, don't suffer in silence, even write things down in a notebook.

You're not alone OP,please don't feel that you are.

Sending hugs xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP I luckily have an understanding GP and asked if I could try Testosterone gel. He agreed and I’ve found it’s really helped.

I know some GP’s are reluctant to prescribe it but it’s worth a read up about it.

Hope things improve for you very soon!"

What a fabulous GP you clearly have ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP I luckily have an understanding GP and asked if I could try Testosterone gel. He agreed and I’ve found it’s really helped.

I know some GP’s are reluctant to prescribe it but it’s worth a read up about it.

Hope things improve for you very soon!

What a fabulous GP you clearly have ?? "

That should be a heart, not a ?? Ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Menopause is one of the hardest things women have to go through, it's not a one size fits all and a very confusing, emotional time.

Like some of the ladies on here I had to have surgery, unfortunately mine due to Cancer.

The Menopause stripped me of my former self, I felt id been hit by a bus!

That was 5 years ago, I'm beginning to find a new version of me, and slowly but surely getting my confidence back.

I started with Patches, then went to the gel,but now back to patches, only because of the lack of supply for the gel( so I was told).

The advantage of the patches is twice weekly ie Tuesday/Friday for example and don't have to think about it between that time.

Disadvantage, the glue is a bugger to rub off and you have glue patches everywhere

( hopefully it's not just me)

I no longer have hot flushes, unless, I've had too much sugar/coffee/alcohol.

And wouldn't be without my HRT.

The best advice is talk, don't suffer in silence, even write things down in a notebook.

You're not alone OP,please don't feel that you are.

Sending hugs xxxx "

Baby oil on a cotton wool pad gets the glue off.

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By *exy Bi FemWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

I'm with you hun I've had a rough time with it but 3 months on the patches I. I'm starting to feel better in myself xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Menopause is one of the hardest things women have to go through, it's not a one size fits all and a very confusing, emotional time.

Like some of the ladies on here I had to have surgery, unfortunately mine due to Cancer.

The Menopause stripped me of my former self, I felt id been hit by a bus!

That was 5 years ago, I'm beginning to find a new version of me, and slowly but surely getting my confidence back.

I started with Patches, then went to the gel,but now back to patches, only because of the lack of supply for the gel( so I was told).

The advantage of the patches is twice weekly ie Tuesday/Friday for example and don't have to think about it between that time.

Disadvantage, the glue is a bugger to rub off and you have glue patches everywhere

( hopefully it's not just me)

I no longer have hot flushes, unless, I've had too much sugar/coffee/alcohol.

And wouldn't be without my HRT.

The best advice is talk, don't suffer in silence, even write things down in a notebook.

You're not alone OP,please don't feel that you are.

Sending hugs xxxx

Baby oil on a cotton wool pad gets the glue off. "

Thank you, I'll give that a go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a fabulous GP you clearly have ??

That should be a heart, not a ?? Ffs

xx "

That made me laugh so much, it’s exactly what I normally do!

And yes, thankfully he’s great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Patches and pills for me hot flushes have calmed down. Moods better.

Men sadly don't understand as they don't experience the symptoms just the aftermath

It's time they made men take hormone pills so they experience period pain, mood swings and menopause.

Have you watched the period pain and labour pain simulators on YouTube? Hilarious

I'll have a look

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