FabSwingers.com forum: Men & Childish message responses

By *ischiefManaged69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Preston

Occasionally we'll respond to a poor quality message politely. Why do male profiles think that then firing back a childish insult will do them any favours? Do they think that well verified profiles don't talk to each other and share details on these profiles?

Considering these guys want to get laid, they don't do a good job of being easy to get on with!

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By *linyMan
over a year ago

Manchester/London

If they were to say it in person, they’d definitely get laid…..out cold!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I assume that they know that they are failures and that their pitiful redirected anger, away from themselves, just shows their lack of compassion etc. There's probably zero self-reflection and thought going on. Their dicks are in need and that's being thwarted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It astounds me that people do that - if someone declines me I get that and I thank them for the honesty and move on - not difficult is it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Occasionally we'll respond to a poor quality message politely. Why do male profiles think that then firing back a childish insult will do them any favours? Do they think that well verified profiles don't talk to each other and share details on these profiles?

Considering these guys want to get laid, they don't do a good job of being easy to get on with!

This is the main issue with guys that we've found. Then you see posts on the forum from these same guys wondering why they aren't getting any connections with anyone...! Eh, this is why lol. And yes, we will ask around about guys as well

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The amount of abuse I get when I point out I’m not currently meeting and that my head line says I’m not meeting. People take rejection really badly, I’m not replying to anyone now just block and delete.

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By *itty Kat ABWoman
over a year ago

North Somerset

Sadly, this is why it is often futile responding to a message with a polite 'no'. Kx

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I got one at 5am today asking if I was free now because he was passing through. I replied when I was awake at 8 with a no and got told its too late now and I'm a bitch for acting like I'm rejecting him when he was already gone anyway and if that's what I need to sleep at night when I've missed out then whatever.

I was laughing as I hit the block button

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By *otwife and Him 69Couple
over a year ago

Preston

Sadly there’s more and more of these that do cause you to have your guard up against the nice ones.

Block and move on

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

OP This is behaviour from all parts of the site - just that males are _much_ more prevalent in your inbox.

I have had similar stuff from couples when I say they are not for me. It all depends on who you are interacting with.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

OP are you so ignorant to think that behaviour is the sole property of single men? Some of the worst replies I have had on here have been from couples! I never once thought that whining about it on the forums would change it !!!!

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By *ischiefManaged69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Preston

"OP are you so ignorant to think that behaviour is the sole property of single men? Some of the worst replies I have had on here have been from couples! I never once thought that whining about it on the forums would change it !!!! "

Interesting. The post is indicative of our recent experience on fab, and at no point did the post say that it is only men who do it. It's likely we get more messages from men than you do, so it's something we see more of.

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

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By *esmond and Molly JonesCouple
over a year ago

Watford

I'm always surprised at the arrogance of some couples.

Read some of the profiles and they often bark endless rules and requirements at you that you will have to adhere to in order to get them to even read your message.

Of course, they may well get loads of unwanted attention, and that can be a problem, but a bit of humility wouldn't hurt!

To read some of them, you'd think that these people consider themselves the 'holy grail' of couples, and that they are so fantastic, that you'd have to be perfect to get a meet!

Of course , it makes sense to list your general preferences and limits & dislikes, but honestly; some of these couples profiles are just so full of themselves.

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By *ischiefManaged69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Preston

"Sadly there’s more and more of these that do cause you to have your guard up against the nice ones.

Block and move on

x "

We do usually! Sometimes we're feeling a bit mellow and give someone the benefit of the doubt. There are undoubtedly some decent people who miss out because the guard is up.

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By *enguy82Man
over a year ago

Wallingford

It’s a real shame and ruins it for polite respectful people, unfortunately some people are just rude and there’s not much to change it

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By *ischiefManaged69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Preston

"OP This is behaviour from all parts of the site - just that males are _much_ more prevalent in your inbox.

I have had similar stuff from couples when I say they are not for me. It all depends on who you are interacting with."

It's the same for a lot of people I'd guess. The difference being the content of your inbox.

I'd guess as a straight guy you don't get many emails from male profiles, so any bad experience you have will be from other profile groups.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

Well said

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By *ischiefManaged69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Preston

I'm always surprised at the arrogance of some couples.

Read some of the profiles and they often bark endless rules and requirements at you that you will have to adhere to in order to get them to even read your message.

Of course, they may well get loads of unwanted attention, and that can be a problem, but a bit of humility wouldn't hurt!

To read some of them, you'd think that these people consider themselves the 'holy grail' of couples, and that they are so fantastic, that you'd have to be perfect to get a meet!

Of course , it makes sense to list your general preferences and limits & dislikes, but honestly; some of these couples profiles are just so full of themselves."

Isn't it better that a profile is honest? If you read a profile and think 'they're not for us' it's done a good job of indicating if you'd enjoy meeting the people who wrote it. The vast majority of people on here would not be a good match for each other, an honest profile, good or bad, helps narrow the search and prevent wasted time.

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

Considering these guys want to get laid, they don't do a good job of being easy to get on with!

"
,,,idiots,,

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By *rs-Naughty_Mr-CuddlesCouple
over a year ago

Nr coleford

Still get people who don't read our profile or when we do put meets up its for that day not the next day we get nasty comments because of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The irony of a male fabber joining this thread, to make a rude comment, is not lost on me

Supports your initial post nicely, M&V

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

"
He is stating a fact and that your thread highlights 'men', it is no supprise that some men may feel the need to add their exoerience, that was a rather unpleasant response to someone adding their experience.

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By *ischiefManaged69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Preston

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

He is stating a fact and that your thread highlights 'men', it is no supprise that some men may feel the need to add their exoerience, that was a rather unpleasant response to someone adding their experience."

If the post was just expressing a different experience, I'd agree with you. His post states 'only men', a point I've already clearly rebutted. As you'll see from other responses I've posted, I'm aware that other profiles experiences may differ from ours.

Apart from inviting him to leave the post, I can't see anything unpleasant about my response.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

OP, all things considered, I wouldn't think childish men throwing their toys out of the pram on this thread would be any more surprising than the ones that do it in your inbox

Men listed as straight men aren't going to see nearly the volume of horrendous messages that those who do have men on their seeking list do. And if they take it as a personal attack rather than a general commentary on the world of fab, that's not on you

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

I think it is interesting that the responses pushing back on the original assertion come from well verified males. That would indicate that they do see another side to the site and that they are not just chasing anyone like most of the sycophantic responses you get in the forums.

I agree with you - I did think OPs response was a little harsh and it did make me chuckle that it basically validated the respondents point.

I think the reality is that profiles that are popular (for whatever reason) will get traffic and that traffic will often come with unpleasantness if it is rejected. It is probably a surprise to people that some males have choices and do turn down meets on the site. That is life unfortunately and what the block button is for.

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

"
You don't think that is unpleasant?

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By *ischiefManaged69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Preston

"OP, all things considered, I wouldn't think childish men throwing their toys out of the pram on this thread would be any more surprising than the ones that do it in your inbox

I know

sadly I'm an idealist and always look for the best in people. A reasonably discussion just isn't going to help some folk!

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By *ischiefManaged69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Preston

Thanks to everyone who's chipping in with their thoughts and experiences. A little vent or debate is good for the soul and challenge helps to keep us open minded.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I'm my experience on here I've had some abuse from men but it's few and far between,filters are great so is actually looking for people you are interested in and actually making first contact.

I've had a lot more abuse from couples on here than I have had from men .They seem to think I should be grateful they decided to message me and cannot seem to understand the fact that I am straight and have zero interest in playing with the woman and putting on a good show for the man. And then get abusive when I say no to meeting them and point out the fact I am straight.It doesn't bother me they just end up on my block list when they do it. You can only control how you react to abuse on here there's no point in thinking you can change the abuse on here because unfortunately that will never change. There will always be people who think because they joined a swingers site they are entitled to a shag with whoever they contact.

I don't see why the man who posted above deserved some back lash just because he stated what has been his experience on here.Surely all are allowed to say what they have experienced on an open forum without their opinion being belittled just because they are a man. That happens a lot on here if a man dares to go against the grain I've found.

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

Myself if someone takes the effort to reply even if it’s a no I always thank them for the reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Considering these guys want to get laid, they don't do a good job of being easy to get on with!

We had this very problem last night.

It was very hard staying polite with him.

It ended with him being blocked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not ok with abuse (obvs) but the childish responses make me laugh. My first week here a gentleman "enquired" and when I politely said no thank you - he said he was out of my league. I did giggle at that one, just before I blocked him.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

My old gran used to say 'if you've got nowt nice to say, say nowt'. She had a point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My old gran used to say 'if you've got nowt nice to say, say nowt'. She had a point

Are you saying that ALL grans have clever sayings?!

I'm so offended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

You don't think that is unpleasant?"

He used the words ignorant and whining. Don't think he was particularly pleasant in the way he commented.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"My old gran used to say 'if you've got nowt nice to say, say nowt'. She had a point

Are you saying that ALL grans have clever sayings?!

I'm so offended. "

Are you flouncing off?

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

You don't think that is unpleasant?

He used the words ignorant and whining. Don't think he was particularly pleasant in the way he commented. "
I was highlighting the hypocrasy of the OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

You don't think that is unpleasant?

He used the words ignorant and whining. Don't think he was particularly pleasant in the way he commented. I was highlighting the hypocrasy of the OP.

I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manners cost nothing, I always thank people for the reply and wish them luck in there adventures

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

You don't think that is unpleasant?

He used the words ignorant and whining. Don't think he was particularly pleasant in the way he commented. I was highlighting the hypocrasy of the OP.

I know

"
OK

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By *ischiefManaged69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Preston

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

You don't think that is unpleasant?"

Did you deliberately not read my reply to you? I specifically pointed that out. You're not doing well here I'm afraid.

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

You don't think that is unpleasant?

Did you deliberately not read my reply to you? I specifically pointed that out. You're not doing well here I'm afraid.

"
Again, another unpleasant response, well done.

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By *ischiefManaged69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Preston

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

You don't think that is unpleasant?

Did you deliberately not read my reply to you? I specifically pointed that out. You're not doing well here I'm afraid.

Again, another unpleasant response, well done."

In response to a post which has plainly ignored the actual words used in my post.

The good news for both of us is that we know our views differ, and we're not in any way compatible. A positive outcome for all involved.

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Not very open minded to other peoples points of you are we, without trying to add some form of insult.

Perhaps it is the way you repond to the intitial message that might set the tone for an unpleasant repsonse.

This is why I like the block button.

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

Yep! Had to block one today. So he’s written a status all about it! Nice boost to our views!

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

I was going to rant and say it’s not just men and that couples are probably worse in my experience..

But then thought it’s probably the man in the couples doing the responding… doh

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By *ischiefManaged69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Preston

So, a question that will open the post up to all respondents..... As per our OP, our experience is that we get more childish responses mostly from male profiles. Is this different for other profile types? Insults are by means solely setrict d to male profiles, but what does everyone else get?

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

You don't think that is unpleasant?

Did you deliberately not read my reply to you? I specifically pointed that out. You're not doing well here I'm afraid.

Again, another unpleasant response, well done.

In response to a post which has plainly ignored the actual words used in my post.

The good news for both of us is that we know our views differ, and we're not in any way compatible. A positive outcome for all involved.

"
You clearly states that it is men in your title and opening.

I never said we were compatible, I have never messaged you or shown any form of interest. Don't read into something that cleary is not there. I'm flattered you thought of me in that way buy you are simply not my type.

Happy fabbing.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Men... Pfft

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By *eneralM04Man
over a year ago

Northampton

@moose … u right verified people speak to each other and I found out recently.

Some guys are different as they feel they can get away with some stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Laughable and boyish response to being turned down, and I don't understand what they think they'll gain from it.

That said it's not just men that do it, I've had it from a few couples and women as well when I've expressed that they're not for me.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Considering these guys want to get laid, they don't do a good job of being easy to get on with!

Hey this is not a bad thing, its helpful folk continue to react ths way. As Napoleon pointed out, When the enemy makes a false move, take care not to interrupt him. The more bad apples expose their true colors the better for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We used to get these messges quite a lot even after sending a polite no thank you. Now we just delete messages we are not interested.

So much easier now

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

You don't think that is unpleasant?

He used the words ignorant and whining. Don't think he was particularly pleasant in the way he commented. "

Oh I wasn’t I agree. An unpleasant response to the vast collection of unpleasant threads singling out single men on here. The OPs thread title was about men and then to suggest it wasn’t just about men when called out was laughable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talking about other profiles/people when not present

. Go play some sudoku or something similar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

loving the feedback from all you amazing people

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By *_hot_hornyCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

We get a few from single guys, after replying them a polite no thanks. Our favourites are:

"Your loss!"

"I don't like skinny women anyway"

"Another fake profile"

Rare that we get actual insults, but we usually block before it gets that far.

One thing we have noticed, is that couples who message (despite us not looking for couples) always ignore everything we've stated in our profile and then come back with "Why not?" or worse "OK, just send Vixen over then"

Men can be idiots, but couples can be very entitled.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had couples reply childishly. Don't know if it's the woman or the man usually. Women are the minority here so there won't be as many anecdotes but we are all capable of being childish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Men... Pfft"
m

Scum of the Earth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

You don't think that is unpleasant?

He used the words ignorant and whining. Don't think he was particularly pleasant in the way he commented.

Vast collection? I don't see any in top threads in this forum or the Lounge. I see a lot of bias against men in terms of cheating but I also see people speaking out about that. Both sexes cheat. Single men are the majority of users I imagine on the site - at times some mens' behaviour leaves much to be desired so it will be mentioned.

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"We used to get these messges quite a lot even after sending a polite no thank you. Now we just delete messages we are not interested.

So much easier now

Same here, found myself getting into exchanges as to why I was saying no. Now I just delete them.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

You don't think that is unpleasant?

He used the words ignorant and whining. Don't think he was particularly pleasant in the way he commented.

Well if you had been here longer than 6 weeks you might know what I was talking about, but it’s free country so you can whinge away to your hearts content.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

You don't think that is unpleasant?

He used the words ignorant and whining. Don't think he was particularly pleasant in the way he commented.

Well if you had been here longer than 6 weeks you might know what I was talking about, but it’s free country so you can whinge away to your hearts content. "

I have been on Fab before.

Someone is defensive.

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

I always recommend everyone to place filters on your message box

This places you in full control, breathing space and the ability to actually look for what maybe compatible instead of complaining about what mail you do get.

You should see the abuse I get because I turn down women who do not fit what I'm looking for. They go crazy and abusive .

As I said apply message filters to your message box and life will be a lot easier.

Good luck.

God bless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always recommend everyone to place filters on your message box

This places you in full control, breathing space and the ability to actually look for what maybe compatible instead of complaining about what mail you do get.

You should see the abuse I get because I turn down women who do not fit what I'm looking for. They go crazy and abusive .

As I said apply message filters to your message box and life will be a lot easier.

Good luck.

God bless "

I certainly have filters.

What a nice post

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

"I always recommend everyone to place filters on your message box

This places you in full control, breathing space and the ability to actually look for what maybe compatible instead of complaining about what mail you do get.

You should see the abuse I get because I turn down women who do not fit what I'm looking for. They go crazy and abusive .

As I said apply message filters to your message box and life will be a lot easier.

Good luck.

God bless

I certainly have filters.

What a nice post

Take care beautiful x

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't get messages from men and never have done even before blocking them all so I can't comment on reactions in that regard.

On the couples account I also have here with a friend, we have had less than 30 messages in total since creating it 9 or 10 months ago and only one of those took rejection badly.

I haven't sent an introductory message in 3 years so every conversation in that time has been started by others.

The level of dummy spitting by extremely well verified couples who don't get the response they expect when they contact me is laughable.

I've had all the old chestnuts thrown at me about being too old or too straight and told it's my loss when I've refused their instruction to shave my beard, play bi or send facepics and phone numbers straight away.

I've also been told they will ruin my fab journey and asked do I not know who they are and their standing on this site?

And yet they were the ones initiating contact with some old straight bastard!

I have had similar reactions from single women but to a lesser degree.

Childish behaviour is not restricted to men on here but if a man started a thread whinging about his negative experience he would be told to grow a set and man up.

Treating people as equals on here seems to a difficult ask for some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We used to get these messges quite a lot even after sending a polite no thank you. Now we just delete messages we are not interested.

So much easier now

Same here, found myself getting into exchanges as to why I was saying no. Now I just delete them."

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By *d4fun73Man
over a year ago

Shipley

"I got one at 5am today asking if I was free now because he was passing through. I replied when I was awake at 8 with a no and got told its too late now and I'm a bitch for acting like I'm rejecting him when he was already gone anyway and if that's what I need to sleep at night when I've missed out then whatever.

I was laughing as I hit the block button

You mean you wasn't ready at 5am just incase!!!!!lol

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"I don't get messages from men and never have done even before blocking them all so I can't comment on reactions in that regard.

On the couples account I also have here with a friend, we have had less than 30 messages in total since creating it 9 or 10 months ago and only one of those took rejection badly.

I haven't sent an introductory message in 3 years so every conversation in that time has been started by others.

The level of dummy spitting by extremely well verified couples who don't get the response they expect when they contact me is laughable.

I've also been told they will ruin my fab journey and asked do I not know who they are and their standing on this site?

And yet they were the ones initiating contact with some old straight bastard!

I have had similar reactions from single women but to a lesser degree.

Childish behaviour is not restricted to men on here but if a man started a thread whinging about his negative experience he would be told to grow a set and man up.

Treating people as equals on here seems to a difficult ask for some."

Absolutely spot on

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"My old gran used to say 'if you've got nowt nice to say, say nowt'. She had a point

She can let herself out too..

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Good of you to pop up and add an unpleasant tone to an otherwise civilised post.

Let yourself out.

You don't think that is unpleasant?

Did you deliberately not read my reply to you? I specifically pointed that out. You're not doing well here I'm afraid.

Again, another unpleasant response, well done."

Couples get a free pass

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By *tsJustKateWoman
over a year ago

London

Considering these guys want to get laid, they don't do a good job of being easy to get on with!

It's why I never respond to messages from guys who I have no interest in. Just delete them block if they persist!!

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By *ischiefManaged69 OP Couple
over a year ago

Preston

The shame for us is we sometimes want a guy for a scenario meet we want to try. Because of this we leave out filters open, as finding reliable, suitable single guys is harder than it should be on here!

We usually block every profile that doesn't match what we're looking for as they come up, to save wasting time later.

Where ALL profiles are concerned, I can't see why anyone would message insults in response to a turn down. And I appreciate that as there are more male profiles than any other sort on here, the incidents of bad ones are exaggerated by the volume.

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