FabSwingers.com forum: Missing ex

By *ewbie09 OP Man
over a year ago

alcester

I’m recently single after a 15 year relationship. I’m really missing my ex and kids. I’m finding it really hard going at the moment. It’s all my fault why we split but I can’t handle the loneliness and sadness I feel.

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By *ewbie09 OP Man
over a year ago

alcester

Anyone got any advice or at least be a sounding board.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's sad.

Try to keep occupied. Could you take up a new hobby, something out of the house?

It does get better with time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey op

Sorry your feeling like this. Keep talking whether it's on here, whether you seek advice from doctor/advice lines or do you have a friend? To talk with so your not on your own? Just keep trying to talk though, don't start to shy away from the world

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

Sorry to hear that OP.

From my experience:

- go for professional help (therapy, counselling)

- the above should help to set amicable terms with ex

- don’t leave your kids, see them as often as you can

- embrace and explore your single life. It’s not that bad to be honest

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By *ewbie09 OP Man
over a year ago

alcester

Thanks all.

I am seeing a therapist at the moment which helps.

I see my kids as often as I can and I would love to see them more. They are the thing that really help get me through this.

A lot of my friends have taken the ex side so very few people to talk to hence why I posted on here.

It’s a shit feeling knowing only I’m to blame for the current situation and there is nothing I can do about it.

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

You are on the right track. These who take sides aren’t your real friends, accept it and move on. As mentioned before, get your self new hobby and new friends will emerge

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By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

Hey op, try and see a positive side. Are there places you’ve always wanted to go or things you want to see? Make some plans etc!

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By *dging-In-EssexMan
over a year ago

Southend

That's crap mate.

Glad you're seeing a therapist. Shows strength.

It may not feel like it but it will get better. Take the small wins.

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By *eanorWoman
over a year ago

I’m sorry to hear what your going through, you say its all your fault , but that dose not mean the pain and heart ache of what you are going through is diminished at all , im glad your seeing a therapist, sadly its a time thing , a day at a time xx

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By *s2pervsCouple
over a year ago

Truro

Op...keep talking, there are some legendary level listeners amongst the members of Fab.

Mr.

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By *ewbie09 OP Man
over a year ago

alcester

"I’m sorry to hear what your going through, you say its all your fault , but that dose not mean the pain and heart ache of what you are going through is diminished at all , im glad your seeing a therapist, sadly its a time thing , a day at a time xx"

Thanks for this. Have good days and bad days! Talking def helps. It’s just the lack of friends locally I can talk to which sucks.

Thanks for the comments on here. It’s good to know there are people out there who want to help

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By *ewbie09 OP Man
over a year ago

alcester

Thanks for the dms guys. Been helpful. X

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a tough time OP, unfortunately there’s not really an easy way to get over a broken heart but it will get easier in time, I know that’s a cliche but there’s a reason why people always say it…because it’s true.

Talking about it and trying to keep yourself occupied are definitely going to help but what works for one person may not work for you so you have to work out what’s best for you.

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By *929Man
over a year ago

bedlington

Hi mate sorry to hear about your situation I been there it so hard missing your kids not going to lie that bit doesent get any better just cherish the time you do get with them. In time you will stop missing the ex thst but will get better there’s usually a reason these things happen even if it was your fault if you look deeper as to why you acted there’s normally a reasons there. It’s hard but will get better

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By *wointo1Couple (MM)
over a year ago

Manchester

Mmf, mmf, then a mff and you'll be all good!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mmf, mmf, then a mff and you'll be all good!"

That's not helpful advice, no need to take the piss

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By *umblefunMan
over a year ago

London/ South West (Devon, Somerset).

Stay strong OP and listen to the good advice from people on this thread. You can also ignore the bad advice from the obvious uncaring twats!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say get off fab, also don't try dating or meeting randoms for shags

Occupy yourself and find some new hobbies, do something to help keep your mind clear, so you can come to terms with what's happened

Again, leave fab and dating until you're thinking straight

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By *wingbexleyMan
over a year ago

bexleyheath

Nothing anyone will say makes it feel less painful but time will heal in the end. Just take tiny steps. I’ve been there. Most of us probably have. Focus on the minutes the hours the days. Whatever you can deal with. Learn to be happy with you. It will get better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel you.

When I miss mine I go back and read the texts. It’s humiliating reading yourself begging for basic affection and intimacy so it’s easy for me to realise I’m much much happier now.

Maybe you should focus on the negative to help you justify your choices.

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Just wondering why you can’t accommodate if you aren’t living with your wife or kids anymore?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get you on this. My ex was abusive to me I did everything for her and my kids I missed her so much but now it's just the kids I miss

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By *ewbie09 OP Man
over a year ago

alcester

"Just wondering why you can’t accommodate if you aren’t living with your wife or kids anymore?"

What a fucking ridiculous comment.

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By *xxLandNxxxCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

Looking at your profile and status the gym is a good idea to work on yourself push you limits, and also great for your mental health. But don’t go just for the hotties the gym should be a safe space and women should not be made to feel uncomfortable. Not saying you would do that and honestly wish you all the best and hope things pick up for you soon x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd say get off fab, also don't try dating or meeting randoms for shags

Occupy yourself and find some new hobbies, do something to help keep your mind clear, so you can come to terms with what's happened

Again, leave fab and dating until you're thinking straight

Agree with this. Whilst shagging about will over temporary relief it won't help in the long run. And you absolutely are not in the right place to rush into dating or another relationship.

Focus on your therapy and work on you. You say you are to blame so you know what you needs to change and that takes time and effort. If you don't do it then you will just repeat your mistakes in any future relationship but most importantly therapy will help you in your relationship with your kids.

This process is hard and painful but it does get easier over time. Take care.

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