FabSwingers.com forum: Do ladies ever had trouble meeting here?

By *ill Piper OP Man
over a year ago

West London

I was just thinking about the phrase “Women have sex with who they want and men have sex with who they can”

Made me think is it always that easy for ladies or do they go through dry spells?

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By *arpePinguisWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

There's never any shortage of offers for ladies-even lardy mardy ones like me- but finding someone you actually want to meet is still tricky. Dry spells do happen because quality over quantity is always best

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

Never short of offers.

Often short of men I’d have sex with lol

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"I was just thinking about the phrase “Women have sex with who they want and men have sex with who they can”

Made me think is it always that easy for ladies or do they go through dry spells?"

That's the rub, isn't it? Who they want isn't necessarily to be found in the avalanche of erect members being brandished at them.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I do get offers like all women ,doesnt mean they're from people I'd want to meet though.

Its not always easy getting a connection and attraction though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said I get lots of offers and can get any old sex whenever, the problem is I want to enjoy sex too so the wham bam I’m offered constantly isn’t actually worth considering when it’s not going to scratch the itch so to speak

Dry spells are very frequent but when they’re broken it’s worth the long wait to actually be satisfied

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Sure.

Going through a long drought of people I'm interested in and are anywhere nearby.

If I had no standards, I could meet ten people a day every day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never short of offers.

Often short of men I’d have sex with lol "

Exactly this. Quality over quantity is the answer. People have standards so might be that the people messaging and offering don't meet those.

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By *essaMayWoman
over a year ago

Fairytale Wood

In theory women here could get sex here anytime they "wanted" But there is the major distinction between what is possible and what is actually wanted.

I haven't met anyone from here for about 4 years and that was only a social.

Difficultly is for someone to tick all of your boxes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this assumption isn't correct. Yes it's easier to get offers and attention but to find people who actually are true to their word and show up is difficult. It's not as easy for women as people think and after being let down a lot, I only meet at clubs now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/04/23 16:27:36]

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By *actilenorfolkgentMan
over a year ago

Norwich

From a man's perspective, apart from age issue, I find it difficult to find the right words to attract initial attention

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's about the quality of the offer for me not the quantity. I absolutely go through dry spells, finding the people that I want to engage with and of course if it actually happens. I get let down too etc.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I was just thinking about the phrase “Women have sex with who they want and men have sex with who they can”

Made me think is it always that easy for ladies or do they go through dry spells?"

I really dislike that phrase.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

As a couple and the husband of a hot wife I can categorically say yes they do have problems.

It's amazing how many messages she gets asking for a meet yet as soon as she says yes they are all suspiciously busy.

Its the ones who pester and pester for a meet when she agrees it's got to be 100% o. Their terms usually in a weekday between 10 and 1 .

They always disappear at the weekend wonder why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never short of offers but im very selective and wont rush the message stage i could get 100s of messages and not fancy one ... sexual attraction is a must but by far not the only thing and if im honest most dont make it pass the message stage ... so no its not easy to find the right meets and im not part of that fuck anything do anything with anyone part of the scene

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By *3xDECouple
over a year ago

nottingham

I don’t think that’s wholly the case, but it would appear to many that it is the way it would seem to be.

I don’t believe it’s any diffrent for women as it is men when it comes to meeting people on here. We have found that although you can put time and effort into someone (no matter the sex) there is never a guarantee that there words and intentions will actually be true to form.

We spent a few months talking to a lady who was more than willing to meet and helped organise times and hotels etc but when it came to it she just went silent. She then contacted us a week later as if nothing had happened and still saying she wanted to meet.

Some people just like the excitement of the chat and the naughty exchanges of messaging but there are only a small percentage that would actually put the effort in for it to actually become a genuine thing.

But I guess with that in mind we are all here for our own reasons, be it a bit of naughty messaging or a meet, it is what it is unfortunately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely dry spells.

Hormones/PMS, periods, not being excited by anybody...take your pick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am sure I could easily meet a random off here very easily, but wouldn't want to can't think of anything worse tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All you need to do is look through local updates and see what the most common male option is. I can guarantee it's the same anywhere. Then you'd see why women "have their pick" but don't end up meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're selective about who you meet it's definitely not easy

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"Never short of offers.

Often short of men I’d have sex with lol "

This ^^

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

I get several messages most days. It's very rare they interest me. So yeah, I get a lot of trouble meeting.

Even with people I do want to meet, 12hr shifts, and rolling shift patterns can mean it takes ages to organise meets sometimes.

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By *ill Piper OP Man
over a year ago

West London

This is how I feel at some of the parties I’ve been to

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By *aughtyPumpkinWoman
over a year ago

Not Far From Doncaster

It’s a lot harder for women to meet on here than most people think x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get several messages most days. It's very rare they interest me. So yeah, I get a lot of trouble meeting.

Even with people I do want to meet, 12hr shifts, and rolling shift patterns can mean it takes ages to organise meets sometimes."

Very true. Distance is another one. People can be a fair distance away and if you dont drive getting to these places can affect wether you’ll meet.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Are we broadly agreed that, generally speaking, women struggle to find people they want to meet, while men struggle to find people who want to meet them?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Are we broadly agreed that, generally speaking, women struggle to find people they want to meet, while men struggle to find people who want to meet them? "

Very broadly, yes.

I think some men have complained that they would be more picky if they could. Meaning, they're sacrificing their standards to get a certain amount of sex.

To me that's backwards - and it sounds like a lot of women here. If I can't find the people I want to meet, I don't have sex.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I have seen numerous well verified women claim that while they have no shortage of offers they struggle to get repeat meets.

There could be an argument that some men like the thrill of the chase and have moved on immediately but then again it can't always be the man's fault.

Having great pics and an amazing bio is no guarantee that anyone is good in bed regardless of how they look so the lack of repeat meets could be because they have flattered to deceive.

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By *ust a little bit moreWoman
over a year ago

kendal

In the 8/9 months I've been on here I've met maybe 15 people for socials, I've then maybe only had sex with 7/8 of them.

But the total number of people who have unboxed me must be about 1383587649176587

It's not actually as easy for women as people think.

You've got to take through a hell of a lot of sh!t messages to find the odd one worth even returning a message, then maybe 50% of those amount to nothing.

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

That phrase is exactly why I stopped meeting

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I was just thinking about the phrase “Women have sex with who they want and men have sex with who they can”

Made me think is it always that easy for ladies or do they go through dry spells?"

......................

YES!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm guessing a lot of ladies are on the site due to meets have dried up on dating sites....the ladies of fab can get sex whenever they want but as someone said above repeat meets will be rare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it impossible to meet anyone I like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have seen numerous well verified women claim that while they have no shortage of offers they struggle to get repeat meets.

There could be an argument that some men like the thrill of the chase and have moved on immediately but then again it can't always be the man's fault.

Having great pics and an amazing bio is no guarantee that anyone is good in bed regardless of how they look so the lack of repeat meets could be because they have flattered to deceive."

Have I read that right - are you suggesting these women don't get repeat meets because they're shit in bed and deceived men with their pics?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Are we broadly agreed that, generally speaking, women struggle to find people they want to meet, while men struggle to find people who want to meet them?

Very broadly, yes.

I think some men have complained that they would be more picky if they could. Meaning, they're sacrificing their standards to get a certain amount of sex.

To me that's backwards - and it sounds like a lot of women here. If I can't find the people I want to meet, I don't have sex."

This discussion sounds familiar. One that cropped up quite frequently with another poster who appears to have departed.

It ended up with claims of a 'top tier 5%'. Lets not go there again....

My views have always been the same. Anyone, male or female can struggle to meet the people they want to meet and equally anyone can find people to meet quite easily, despite all the claims of uneven ratios, preferences and pecking orders.

It's often far more about expectancy levels than actual barriers to meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm guessing a lot of ladies are on the site due to meets have dried up on dating sites....the ladies of fab can get sex whenever they want but as someone said above repeat meets will be rare "

Quite an assumption, that. Perhaps they're interested in more open minded individuals as it's a swinging site. All sorts of reasons why anyone is on any site, but Fab attracts people for a multitude of reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are we broadly agreed that, generally speaking, women struggle to find people they want to meet, while men struggle to find people who want to meet them?

Very broadly, yes.

I think some men have complained that they would be more picky if they could. Meaning, they're sacrificing their standards to get a certain amount of sex.

To me that's backwards - and it sounds like a lot of women here. If I can't find the people I want to meet, I don't have sex.

This discussion sounds familiar. One that cropped up quite frequently with another poster who appears to have departed.

It ended up with claims of a 'top tier 5%'. Lets not go there again....

It's often far more about expectancy levels than actual barriers to meeting.

I am still formulating a response to the "top 20%" trope. I see it so many times and the evidence just doesn't back up the claim.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of the single ladies on the site aren't swingers just like a lot of the single guys

True swingers meet at clubs

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I get lots of offers but I like to build up a connection with people first and a lot of the offers are "meet now?"

My answer to that is always no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of the single ladies on the site aren't swingers just like a lot of the single guys

True swingers meet at clubs "

Do they? Who made you the oracle?

Use "reply and quote" please - it helps people see who you're replying to.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Lots of the single ladies on the site aren't swingers just like a lot of the single guys

True swingers meet at clubs "

Eh?

What about all the swingers that live hundreds of miles from the nearest club?

Or those that attend house parties?

Or those that meet in hotels or at home?

And why can't singles be swingers?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Lots of the single ladies on the site aren't swingers just like a lot of the single guys

True swingers meet at clubs "

That's judgemental nonsense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of the single ladies on the site aren't swingers just like a lot of the single guys

True swingers meet at clubs "

What a load of clap trap

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I find meeting anyone I’m interested in very difficult. Truly excellent guys are in demand and are rare. There’s a seemingly endless sea of dross though; those who are here for an unpaid service or think that those of us who’re not a size 10 should be grateful for every pitiful advance that comes our way. It really is the pits sometimes.

I tend to meet people at parties and if I like them I’ll try see them privately. I’ve had no success meeting strangers through here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find meeting anyone I’m interested in very difficult. Truly excellent guys are in demand and are rare. There’s a seemingly endless sea of dross though; those who are here for an unpaid service or think that those of us who’re not a size 10 should be grateful for every pitiful advance that comes our way. It really is the pits sometimes.

I tend to meet people at parties and if I like them I’ll try see them privately. I’ve had no success meeting strangers through here. "

That's a great way of meeting people you are truly compatible with

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"I have seen numerous well verified women claim that while they have no shortage of offers they struggle to get repeat meets.

There could be an argument that some men like the thrill of the chase and have moved on immediately but then again it can't always be the man's fault.

Having great pics and an amazing bio is no guarantee that anyone is good in bed regardless of how they look so the lack of repeat meets could be because they have flattered to deceive.

Have I read that right - are you suggesting these women don't get repeat meets because they're shit in bed and deceived men with their pics? "

I'm suggesting that it's not beyond the bounds of possibility.

I fully agree that women don't have it easy in regards to meeting because it's difficult to find men they are attracted to or compatible with.

I don't agree that all women find it easier to have sex because as so many have already said there is a big difference between choice and preference.

I'm not suggesting that anyone has deceived with their pics.

What I'm saying is that having great pics and a fantastic bio has no bearing on their skills in bed just as looks alone don't either.

That applies to everyone regardless of gender.

They could be highly skilled or they could be crap but there are any number of reasons that women struggle to get repeat meets with the same men.

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By *awg-mo-thoinWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

I find it extremely difficult to meet guys on here. To echo what others have said above, beyond the practicalities of work hours, periods, life etc, there just aren’t that many that meet the criteria I’m looking for (no disrespect whatsoever to them).

I put up I was looking for a meet a few days ago & a guy asked if I had got sorted & if not he would meet me, I very rarely reply to say no (for this exact reason) but on this occasion I did. He was genuinely baffled why I would turn him down on the basis I wasn’t physically attracted to him AT ALL. Sent quite the incel rant about how women are all for equality until it comes to sex & if someone is willing & able for sex when you want it you should have it with them. The most bizarre sexual socialism manifesto I’ve ever read in my life

Basically his summation was that women can have sex with whomever they wish & are therefore extremely lucky & should be kind enough to have sex with any man who offers because it’s harder for them to meet. Apparently I’m a narcissist for being unable to have sex with people I don’t fancy… go figure.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

London

"It’s a lot harder for women to meet on here than most people think x"

I agree. Plus safety is a big concern for me too.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It’s a lot harder for women to meet on here than most people think x

I agree. Plus safety is a big concern for me too. "

Yeah, I think some guys underestimate the safety thing

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I tend to meet people at parties and if I like them I’ll try see them privately. I’ve had no success meeting strangers through here.

That's a great way of meeting people you are truly compatible with

I’ve found it’s the only thing that works. I’m always open to meeting great people via my inbox but it’s happened only couple of times in nearly 5 years here.