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Shocked

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I just been reading posts in a thread about fantasies and I’m mortified. Suddenly feel scared of every guy here and I never felt like that before. So many of them involve demeaning/using/forcing/scaring women. I honestly am shocked.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

And so many women encourage it but not all. As long as you make your wants known... there is place for everyone's fantasies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just been reading posts in a thread about fantasies and I’m mortified. Suddenly feel scared of every guy here and I never felt like that before. So many of them involve demeaning/using/forcing/scaring women. I honestly am shocked. "

I’m not sure how someone could get hard in that scenario, it always confuses me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just been reading posts in a thread about fantasies and I’m mortified. Suddenly feel scared of every guy here and I never felt like that before. So many of them involve demeaning/using/forcing/scaring women. I honestly am shocked. "

Not my cup of tea...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jeez. Just read it!!!

Noooooo!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know you’re right I guess I’m just surprised by how many of the fantasies took that form. Fantasies are just that but by definition they have to be wanted/craved/ source of arousal. Do most guys want to frighten/diminish us??! Or is it just that those guys are most vocal about their wants?

Whenever chat with a guy felt uncomfortable because of the words or choice of approach I would end it but assumed they were just awkward and had watched too much porn..was I wrong?

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By *oding1Man
over a year ago

marlow

Me neither

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"I just been reading posts in a thread about fantasies and I’m mortified. Suddenly feel scared of every guy here and I never felt like that before. So many of them involve demeaning/using/forcing/scaring women. I honestly am shocked.

Not my cup of tea... "

the good thing about this lifestyle is that there is no right or wrong way... it's about finding those that match what your looking for. No need for kink shaming. Plenty of people outside of this lifestyle would think having aex with other people was pretty awful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know you’re right I guess I’m just surprised by how many of the fantasies took that form. Fantasies are just that but by definition they have to be wanted/craved/ source of arousal. Do most guys want to frighten/diminish us??! Or is it just that those guys are most vocal about their wants?

Whenever chat with a guy felt uncomfortable because of the words or choice of approach I would end it but assumed they were just awkward and had watched too much porn..was I wrong? "

I think porn has a lot to do with it, so much of it is based on male control these days and can be aggressive out at minimum demeaning towards women. There ours a whole generation of lads out there who have grown up with such easy access to hardcore porn, I had to wait until some kind soul left a jazz mag in a hedge

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Me neither "

Thank you guys it’s nice to know I’m being over sensitive about this xx

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

Its worth mentioning that if a guy tried to demean me he wouldn't get very far

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just been reading posts in a thread about fantasies and I’m mortified. Suddenly feel scared of every guy here and I never felt like that before. So many of them involve demeaning/using/forcing/scaring women. I honestly am shocked.

Not my cup of tea... the good thing about this lifestyle is that there is no right or wrong way... it's about finding those that match what your looking for. No need for kink shaming. Plenty of people outside of this lifestyle would think having aex with other people was pretty awful "

Of course I have no intention of shaming anyone just voicing my reaction to something that surprised me. Sorry if I’ve offended anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to their own but even with my own obsession with dirty knickers, I find some people's kinks extreme

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"I just been reading posts in a thread about fantasies and I’m mortified. Suddenly feel scared of every guy here and I never felt like that before. So many of them involve demeaning/using/forcing/scaring women. I honestly am shocked.

Not my cup of tea... the good thing about this lifestyle is that there is no right or wrong way... it's about finding those that match what your looking for. No need for kink shaming. Plenty of people outside of this lifestyle would think having aex with other people was pretty awful

Of course I have no intention of shaming anyone just voicing my reaction to something that surprised me. Sorry if I’ve offended anyone"

no offence taken on my part. I've got some pretty extreme fantasies that I'd not voice on here that make most look pretty tame. Some I've had the privilege of doing but even the rougher ones, I've never felt degraded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s why you set out boundaries isn’t it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just been reading posts in a thread about fantasies and I’m mortified. Suddenly feel scared of every guy here and I never felt like that before. So many of them involve demeaning/using/forcing/scaring women. I honestly am shocked.

Not my cup of tea... the good thing about this lifestyle is that there is no right or wrong way... it's about finding those that match what your looking for. No need for kink shaming. Plenty of people outside of this lifestyle would think having aex with other people was pretty awful

Of course I have no intention of shaming anyone just voicing my reaction to something that surprised me. Sorry if I’ve offended anyone no offence taken on my part. I've got some pretty extreme fantasies that I'd not voice on here that make most look pretty tame. Some I've had the privilege of doing but even the rougher ones, I've never felt degraded"

That’s great and more power to you, we all seek pleasure in our own way xx

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

Be curious to know which thread prompted this x

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham


"I just been reading posts in a thread about fantasies and I’m mortified. Suddenly feel scared of every guy here and I never felt like that before. So many of them involve demeaning/using/forcing/scaring women. I honestly am shocked. "

You know what shocks me? Women that want me to r**e them. I mean that's the most vile crime I can imagine other than l. Yet for many women it's a fantasy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That’s why you set out boundaries isn’t it?"

Yes quite right but I guess what I’m saying is…do all guys here generally want that type of thing and I guess I’ve had it confirmed that no they don’t x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just been reading posts in a thread about fantasies and I’m mortified. Suddenly feel scared of every guy here and I never felt like that before. So many of them involve demeaning/using/forcing/scaring women. I honestly am shocked.

You know what shocks me? Women that want me to r**e them. I mean that's the most vile crime I can imagine other than l. Yet for many women it's a fantasy"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That’s why you set out boundaries isn’t it?

Yes quite right but I guess what I’m saying is…do all guys here generally want that type of thing and I guess I’ve had it confirmed that no they don’t x "

I don’t think it’s right to generalise men by a single thread on fab.. everyone will have different fantasies and all that good stuff, just need to find one that’s best suited to your self x

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I'm shocked that you've only just noticed the grim side of fab

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That’s why you set out boundaries isn’t it?

Yes quite right but I guess what I’m saying is…do all guys here generally want that type of thing and I guess I’ve had it confirmed that no they don’t x

I don’t think it’s right to generalise men by a single thread on fab.. everyone will have different fantasies and all that good stuff, just need to find one that’s best suited to your self x"

You are right of course x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not everyone is like that but you do get a few very creepy disturbing people on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fantasies may be all in the mind, but that's where everything starts and it's worrying to see what some people are thinking about.

We should follow the D/s lead. Submission is something given, not something taken. So it's ok for someone to fantasise (and share) about being forced to have sex, but not ok for someone to fantasise about forcing sex on another person. Because whether we like it or not, our fantasies speak about who we really are.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

[Removed by poster at 12/04/23 07:28:45]

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Different strokes for different folks!

Obviously not all men like that kinda thing, just like all women won't but the few that do will do it with boundaries in place, for every man that likes it there will be a woman wanting it too, I don't think it's fair to stereotype all men from one kink post.

Communication is key if these things aren't for you then make that clear.

Fab should be open for everyone to express their sexual desires and kinks without shame (providing it's legal of course)

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just been reading posts in a thread about fantasies and I’m mortified. Suddenly feel scared of every guy here and I never felt like that before. So many of them involve demeaning/using/forcing/scaring women. I honestly am shocked. "

Worse when they turn up in your inbox describing violent scenarios and wording thinking that it's the sort of shit that would turn a woman on....

Makes me wonder how they view woman tbf, it's worrying behaviour

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I just been reading posts in a thread about fantasies and I’m mortified. Suddenly feel scared of every guy here and I never felt like that before. So many of them involve demeaning/using/forcing/scaring women. I honestly am shocked. "

The best thing about people expressing views you find offensive, sharing fantasies that shock, opinions that are best kept in someone's head and details on profiles that are I stand turn offs is this - they've publicly displayed to you that you're incompatible.

So embrace the best filter the site has and just block them. That way you'll never run the risk of messaging them or them you. You'll never accidentally try and arrange a meet with someone whose preferences, tastes and attitudes are the polar opposite of yours.

I love it when someone does this. It makes it much easier to avoid ever engaging 1-2-1 with them online or in person.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because it’s somebody’s fantasy doesn’t mean that’s how they behave in the real world, or that they would even be able to/want to actually go through with it. That’s literally the meaning of the word.

We have impossible/improbable things we think about and imagine, but we would never ever actually do.

Unless it’s actually intentionally aimed at you are with the intention of hurting somebody in real life, lighten up.

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By *aekaeWoman
over a year ago

Between a cock and a soft place

[Removed by poster at 12/04/23 07:43:39]

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By *aekaeWoman
over a year ago

Between a cock and a soft place


"I just been reading posts in a thread about fantasies and I’m mortified. Suddenly feel scared of every guy here and I never felt like that before. So many of them involve demeaning/using/forcing/scaring women. I honestly am shocked. "

Sometimes I want a man to treat me like a goddess, sometimes like a slutty, filthy, whore.

The key is finding the right man, clear communication and trust.

Our fantasies (men and women) are just that, fantasies. It's not how how I live my life 24/7.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

Unless it’s actually intentionally aimed at you are with the intention of hurting somebody in real life, lighten up."

Something doesn't have to be aimed at me for me to find it offensive.

Someone may have no intention of doing something 'in real life' but the expression of a fantasy of doing something can still be enough to make me and make me sure that I'd never wish to engage with that person.

People don't need to 'lighten up' when something gives them reason to be shocked. Everyone has their preferences, boundaries and limits and what one finds perfectly acceptable another may find offensive and repulsive.

They're entitled to feel that way.

A

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