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Advice for a newbie Mr with an experienced Missus

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By *PanBB OP   Couple
over a year ago

leeds

We have a solid open, honest trusting relationship of almost 2 years. I'm fully aware of my Missus past in which she was a regular swinger at clubs and house meets as part of a couple. After lengthy discussions we have made a joint discision to get into some kind of swinging dynamic.

I have zero experience apart from researching on this site and other internet material I'm a little nervous as to what to expect. Am I going to be able to provide her what she wants with my zero experience?

Has anyone taken the lifestyle up with zero experience with a female or male partner who's had a lot of experience and if so how did you find it?

And just to be clear this is a joint discision in which we've agreed on boundaries and that we are prepared to wait as long as nessasary instead of diving in recklessly. Our initial idea is to visit a club in Yorkshire with no expectations.

Any advice would be appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was introduced to it by D, I had no experience or even knowledge before that but he was pretty experienced

Hard to say what to expect because it's so different for everyone x

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By *PanBB OP   Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"I was introduced to it by D, I had no experience or even knowledge before that but he was pretty experienced

Hard to say what to expect because it's so different for everyone x"

Thanks. Yeah I guess it's how long is a piece of string kind of question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I introduced Penny to it after a long time swinging in a previous marriage and also as a single before we met.

The only real advice I gave Penny was to do her own research, set her own limits and never to feel any pressure to go anywhere or do anything, after that it was just a case of showing her the ropes and letting her find her own way. It's an environment that takes time to grow into. I couldn't expect Penny to go from zero to swinging hero in the beat of an eye, it's an evolution of self discovery so take things at the slowest person's pace

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"We have a solid open, honest trusting relationship of almost 2 years. I'm fully aware of my Missus past in which she was a regular swinger at clubs and house meets as part of a couple. After lengthy discussions we have made a joint discision to get into some kind of swinging dynamic.

I have zero experience apart from researching on this site and other internet material I'm a little nervous as to what to expect. Am I going to be able to provide her what she wants with my zero experience?

Has anyone taken the lifestyle up with zero experience with a female or male partner who's had a lot of experience and if so how did you find it?

And just to be clear this is a joint discision in which we've agreed on boundaries and that we are prepared to wait as long as nessasary instead of diving in recklessly. Our initial idea is to visit a club in Yorkshire with no expectations.

Any advice would be appreciated "

Your partner sounds very experienced so she should be able to advise you on what to expect, have you spoken to her about how you’re feeling nervous? Didn’t she tell you what to expect when you were discussing the idea of starting it and what your boundaries are?

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By *PanBB OP   Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"I introduced Penny to it after a long time swinging in a previous marriage and also as a single before we met.

The only real advice I gave Penny was to do her own research, set her own limits and never to feel any pressure to go anywhere or do anything, after that it was just a case of showing her the ropes and letting her find her own way. It's an environment that takes time to grow into. I couldn't expect Penny to go from zero to swinging hero in the beat of an eye, it's an evolution of self discovery so take things at the slowest person's pace "

Thank you. Yeah we are very much of the mindset that this is going to time and also that I may not actually like it and maybe the Missus no longer enjoys it as she once did.

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By *PanBB OP   Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"We have a solid open, honest trusting relationship of almost 2 years. I'm fully aware of my Missus past in which she was a regular swinger at clubs and house meets as part of a couple. After lengthy discussions we have made a joint discision to get into some kind of swinging dynamic.

I have zero experience apart from researching on this site and other internet material I'm a little nervous as to what to expect. Am I going to be able to provide her what she wants with my zero experience?

Has anyone taken the lifestyle up with zero experience with a female or male partner who's had a lot of experience and if so how did you find it?

And just to be clear this is a joint discision in which we've agreed on boundaries and that we are prepared to wait as long as nessasary instead of diving in recklessly. Our initial idea is to visit a club in Yorkshire with no expectations.

Any advice would be appreciated

Your partner sounds very experienced so she should be able to advise you on what to expect, have you spoken to her about how you’re feeling nervous? Didn’t she tell you what to expect when you were discussing the idea of starting it and what your boundaries are? "

Of cause and most of it was to point out the reality of it will more than likely not meet my imagination of it. My post was to try and get any advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation i.e zero experience getting into the scene with someone with a lot of experience and how did it pan out.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

OP my suggestion to you would be to not over think it. You can get yourself tied up in knots over things that won’t matter.

Your missus is with you because she likes you and she wants you to share what she enjoys. Try it out. If you like it then . If you don’t then you need to have a chat.

She will still be there for you.

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By *PanBB OP   Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"OP my suggestion to you would be to not over think it. You can get yourself tied up in knots over things that won’t matter.

Your missus is with you because she likes you and she wants you to share what she enjoys. Try it out. If you like it then . If you don’t then you need to have a chat.

She will still be there for you."

Thank you and think this basically answer my question

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"We have a solid open, honest trusting relationship of almost 2 years. I'm fully aware of my Missus past in which she was a regular swinger at clubs and house meets as part of a couple. After lengthy discussions we have made a joint discision to get into some kind of swinging dynamic.

I have zero experience apart from researching on this site and other internet material I'm a little nervous as to what to expect. Am I going to be able to provide her what she wants with my zero experience?

Has anyone taken the lifestyle up with zero experience with a female or male partner who's had a lot of experience and if so how did you find it?

And just to be clear this is a joint discision in which we've agreed on boundaries and that we are prepared to wait as long as nessasary instead of diving in recklessly. Our initial idea is to visit a club in Yorkshire with no expectations.

Any advice would be appreciated

Your partner sounds very experienced so she should be able to advise you on what to expect, have you spoken to her about how you’re feeling nervous? Didn’t she tell you what to expect when you were discussing the idea of starting it and what your boundaries are?

Of cause and most of it was to point out the reality of it will more than likely not meet my imagination of it. My post was to try and get any advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation i.e zero experience getting into the scene with someone with a lot of experience and how did it pan out."

I think that if you’re nervous then you’ll enjoy it a lot less and you’ll make other people feel more nervous and less comfortable around you so you should really try not to be nervous, I know that’s easier said than done though. There’s no pressure on you to rush into anything so just take it at your own pace, no one’s going to judge you or laugh at you, remember that everyone there is just looking to have a good time and not looking to cause drama or upset anyone. One thing I’ve learned during my life is that worrying about things you have no control over is pointless and stops you enjoying life as much as possible.

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By *andaloriansCouple
over a year ago

Malvern

Be a sponge. Soak up all you can learn and trust her judgement

S

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"OP my suggestion to you would be to not over think it. You can get yourself tied up in knots over things that won’t matter.

Your missus is with you because she likes you and she wants you to share what she enjoys. Try it out. If you like it then . If you don’t then you need to have a chat.

She will still be there for you.

Thank you and think this basically answer my question "

Glad to be of assistance.

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

Take it slowly, you go at your pace and what you feel comfortable doing. I suggest lots of conversations prio to doing anything and both be clear on boundaries.

I was fresh meat when I met my late partner and it can be scary at first lots of doubts ect. Feel free to inbox me if you want to.

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