FabSwingers.com forum: Terrible meet

By *acey87 OP Woman
over a year ago

watford

Last night I met someone off here, I left after 5mins. I laid out some boundaries which he didn’t follow. I had a similar experience a couple years back, hence why it took me a while to pluck up the courage to try again. Please tell me not all men are selfish creeps on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a shame...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah he's just a dud, I'll message you next year once I get to 50

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I'd say chat first, facetime... But it means nowt if they're going to be a dickhead in person. Sometimes it's just luck of the draw, not everybody is nice in real life unfortunately

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By *LIVEANDKICKING100Man
over a year ago

DUBLIN

Whatever happened it's not about you-its all to do with him, his shite and his inadequacy as a man! Don't be hurt or angry. Regard it as a lucky escape and feel sorry for him that he's such a creep!

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By *ldFashionedGentMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"Whatever happened it's not about you-its all to do with him, his shite and his inadequacy as a man! Don't be hurt or angry. Regard it as a lucky escape and feel sorry for him that he's such a creep! "

This 1000%

If the person in question couldn’t respect boundaries then good for you for leaving. I’m really sorry to hear that it happened and apologise on behalf of all of us who are genuine.

I hope this doesn’t set you back too much

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I frelbI dodged a bullet today and cancelled a meet last minute. Was literally in the shower getting ready to drive to them when he said that the previous guy was running late and might still be there as I arrived.

Not judging them at all but not what I was looking for or had agreed to. I would apparently have been the fith guy they met today. And as horny as it is for them, it just doesn't appeal to me or fit in with the risk profile I'm comfortable with.

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

"Last night I met someone off here, I left after 5mins. I laid out some boundaries which he didn’t follow. I had a similar experience a couple years back, hence why it took me a while to pluck up the courage to try again. Please tell me not all men are selfish creeps on here "

I promise you we not all selfish creeps!

some of us are gentleman pervs, like me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are so many lovely gents on here, you've just been unlucky.

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By *ucianpoundCouple
over a year ago

Cap d’Agde, France

It’s difficult for us guys to read all the female signs,

I know now, from experience, when a woman has the hots but most ladies act demure or submissive and don’t make the first move.

As a couple we always try to have an open dialogue about likes/dislikes before a meet becomes sexual.

Always find that this leads to the best outcomes.

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By *tudentForFunMan
over a year ago

Craigavon

Sorry to hear you’ve had these negative experiences

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By *hilledGuyClactonMan
over a year ago

Little clacton

Not all men are.But the ones that are seem to stand out more and give the non creepy ones bad rep at the same time

I know a few women who `ve had meets like that,where the man tries to do something that she never wanted to do etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did he do straight away that didn’t fall within your boundaries?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Just to bring a little balance, it's not only men who don't understand the words boundary, consent and communication.

I left a woman in an hotel room I had paid for and left the site immediately after my very first fab meet 6 years ago because she decided to cross boundaries without any discussion.

It wasn't something I can look back on now and laugh at because it remains as serious now as it did then and if the roles had been reversed I've no doubt I would have been getting a visit from the boys in blue.

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By *ubcdverykinkyMan
over a year ago

Bourne lincs

God be nice to get a gen meet. I guess being a sub bi guy bottom only am wasting my time

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By *urve_your_enthusiasmWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I had a couple of terrible meets when I was first on fab and some others where I thought "why am i here?". Was too nice and naive and some men can be so pushy... I've learnt from my mistakes and I take my time to meet people. I always have socials first. No exceptions and that's been the best decision.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry that happened to you. It puts me off meeting too. Well done for walking away these guys do it because they assume we will be too polite to walk away.

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By *evonrobMan
over a year ago

Kingsbridge

Hacks me off that people behave like that when it’s so difficult to get anywhere near a meet anyway. Anyone actually reaching the point of meeting should be grateful - and humble - that they’ve got to that point, not just selfish and ruin it for all of the rest of us!

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By *omsubdevonCouple
over a year ago

Newton Abbot

What a wanker, literally.

His loss. Not your fault.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

What was it he did?

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep the faith. There are some genuine kind guys on here who can adhere to any boundaries given. Just unlucky with this fool.

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By *opilotMan
over a year ago

Heathrow

Unfortunately you've picked a wrongun there and he's a fool. I can assure you that there are some great guys on here, but as others have said the bad ones send out the wrong messages.

Try to be more selected in future, read their verifications and insist on a social and if your still unsure, walk away. It's fir your safety.

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By *onnyadtMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

What did he do so we can get a clearer idea

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

I've cancelled 3 social meets and walked away from 2 this month alone. I make it very clear that a social meet is coffee / drink / chat only, with no expectations of play.

None of the 5 seemed able to understand that and turned the conversation to sex / joining me at hotel / the play we might have etc.

Despite each receiving a reminder that this would not be happening, clearly they chose to ignore or assumed it didn't apply to them.

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By *lirtyAndFunCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"No, I'd say chat first, facetime... But it means nowt if they're going to be a dickhead in person. Sometimes it's just luck of the draw, not everybody is nice in real life unfortunately "

Thats a real problem for both men & women.

Anybody can be nice in text or a 2 minute facetime call but when you get together they can be completely different.

I think we're all kind of aware of this, its just knowing that its such a small percentage its always worth the gamble.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I frelbI dodged a bullet today and cancelled a meet last minute. Was literally in the shower getting ready to drive to them when he said that the previous guy was running late and might still be there as I arrived.

Well said !

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By *moothshaftMan
over a year ago

Coventry

That's such a shame.

I absolutely promise you, the majority on here are real gentlemen.

Please don't give up. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, I'd say chat first, facetime... But it means nowt if they're going to be a dickhead in person. Sometimes it's just luck of the draw, not everybody is nice in real life unfortunately

Thats a real problem for both men & women.

Anybody can be nice in text or a 2 minute facetime call but when you get together they can be completely different.

I think we're all kind of aware of this, its just knowing that its such a small percentage its always worth the gamble."

We have found even messages start great and descend into something that’s questionable,flagging up the person behind them even before the meeting, some will still keep the mask on and slip the net until face to face

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By *ee And MikeCouple
over a year ago

Cannock

As a cuckold couple we look for meets with guys or couples where the emphasis is on the cuckolding aspect of fun, the amount of guys that turn up thinking they just have to whip their cock out and fuck and they’ve done their job is amazing !

As they say for every 100 frogs you kiss one will be a prince, don’t get too disheartened and keep plugging away at it !

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

It’s only a small section of men that are like that there are more genuine non selfish men on here

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By *acey87 OP Woman
over a year ago

watford

"What did he do straight away that didn’t fall within your boundaries?"
I made it very clear I wasn’t into kissing, not just lips but face and neck. He did it about 5times each time he asking him to please stop.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

"Just to bring a little balance, it's not only men who don't understand the words boundary, consent and communication.

I left a woman in an hotel room I had paid for and left the site immediately after my very first fab meet 6 years ago because she decided to cross boundaries without any discussion.

Do you feel comfortable telling us what she did?

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

Sorry this happened.

No not all are creeps. We leave ourselves open to this happen sometimes.

Take care of yourself x

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

"What did he do straight away that didn’t fall within your boundaries? I made it very clear I wasn’t into kissing, not just lips but face and neck. He did it about 5times each time he asking him to please stop. "

You did the right thing. Clearly not respecting your boundaries. Although awful, try not to let it colour your perception of everyone on here. We usually take a long time to meet someone from here, we talk a lot first, and when we do meet it is always for a social first. We’ve had a lot of socials. Not many have moved on from there. We only want lovely experiences so we spend time getting to know people as friends first. It’s worked well for us. Xx

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By *reat me rightWoman
over a year ago

Rotherham

Many are but not all I hope

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By *ust Ms LovinWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Communication is key .. I always like to talk about how a meet is going to go and boundries before hand and can be a good buildup If after that they cross them then just walk away.

Social drink before hand too to suss them out/phone call or FaceTime

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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

We tend to have more problems with couples than guys when it comes to boundaries

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all. Over the years of being on and off here I've had many meets and only one was bad/pushy.

Just be careful with who you meet. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry it didnt work out but hopefully the next guy you meet will be better

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By *eastXMan
over a year ago

London

Am so sorry to hear that! Please be assured he represents himself and a tiny minority of the scene.

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By *ylonloverboy69Man
over a year ago

cheltenham

Message me next year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear of bad experiences.

If guidelines and ground rules are clearly established, then it’s entirely on the other person for not respecting these.

We are all here to meet new people and have fun, but always within respect of the wishes of the other persons involved. There’s no excuse for ignoring these requests.

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

I'm curious how many men will post on here claiming that not all men on here are arseholes and say they the great and promise they are not like that.

It's not just men that can disappoint and it's unfortunite that you had this experience but you walked away and are safe.

Some people don't find out they are with an arsehole until it's too late or even months and years.

This is what a social meet is for, eat some chocolate and bask in the fact that you took control of the situation and that shows your power within.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's horrible when it happens.

I have had the unfortunate luck of meeting some that were less than respectful in person. Even with all the vetting you can do there is always a risk.

I have met some absolute diamond people though, try not to let it put you off, it's really hard though I get it.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

its not just guys i/we have had this problem with couples way more than single guys and even women can be creeps too ..

i/we always make sure the boundaries are set and talked about before the meet even spontaneous ones ...

also people say its these people that ruin it for the rest nope wrong they ruin iot for themselves and nobody else ..your in charge of yourself so stop blaming others for getting nowhere that 100% down to you

i think its a very mix place fab lucky that most of the creeps are easy to spot but is not a guy only problem not by a mile as i said i/we get more creeps as couples than guys

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By *ostguy321Man
over a year ago

Bucks

There are just people on here who have a false sense of entitlement and feel boundaries do not apply. Its frustrating and annoying, but its not everybody and there are some really good people on here

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