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Lurkers

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hey what to you think of people who private message you of the back of your forum post?

We notice we get that quite alot even though the person hasn’t commented on the post.

Do you find it creepy or a good way to meet someone?

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

Indeed it is kinda creepy especially if they see that they haven't a chance with you and are just trying there luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Indeed it is kinda creepy especially if they see that they haven't a chance with you and are just trying there luck "

Yeah we get that it’s the ones who live 300 miles away and are the complete opposite to what we are looking for lol

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

I always find that if I want to make a fool of myself I should always do it in public

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always find that if I want to make a fool of myself I should always do it in public "

And great entertainment for everyone else

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

Lurkers are creepy. The forums are social, and sometimes funny. I don't want messages because I post there.

People are supposed to contribute in public.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn’t bother me, sometimes for whatever reason they can’t post on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lurkers are creepy. The forums are social, and sometimes funny. I don't want messages because I post there.

People are supposed to contribute in public. "

Yes I agree, unless it’s a message and post game I prefer to keep it to the forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey what to you think of people who private message you of the back of your forum post?

We notice we get that quite alot even though the person hasn’t commented on the post.

Do you find it creepy or a good way to meet someone? "

We also fine it creepy more so when they message saying the really love our profile and our pics but never seem to drop a like on our pics.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It doesn’t bother me, sometimes for whatever reason they can’t post on the forums. "
But doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose of a public forum unless otherwised asked?

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By *itvclaireTV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 15/03/23 09:42:02]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hey what to you think of people who private message you of the back of your forum post?

We notice we get that quite alot even though the person hasn’t commented on the post.

Do you find it creepy or a good way to meet someone?

We also fine it creepy more so when they message saying the really love our profile and our pics but never seem to drop a like on our pics."

We get that too wonder if anyone calls them out on it or just a delete message?

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By *itvclaireTV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

Had a few of these messages over the last few months. Most just get deleted, as I too would rather they replied in the forums.

XX

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By *ucKaDinoooMan
over a year ago

Bristol

If its a public forum good to at least write and intro… although even if far away I love a dirty one to one phone chat or directing a couple

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

Creepy. We find it very creepy. Just seems to cross a line for us... a bit stalker-ish somehow?

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By *anandEmily2465Couple
over a year ago

Bishop Auckland

They are probably the same ones who shuffle round creepily in clubs trying to get an eyeful, whilst tugging on their peckers with their jingling locker key hand. The Wanking Dead. X

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By *ershingMan
over a year ago

liverpool

I've messaged privately once or twice to people I'd like to meet localy but only after being active in the conversation I've seen them in.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't mind it too much even though it happens fairly often.

The only time it annoyed me was when a very opinionated woman who doesn't appear to be with us any longer did exactly this while having a rant on threads about others doing it to her.

When I replied on the thread asking her to keep the conversation there she was offended and accused me of making it up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Had a few of these messages over the last few months. Most just get deleted, as I too would rather they replied in the forums.

XX

"

We normaly just delete them too. You will always get the Chancers lol

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By *ucKaDinoooMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Oh my god the wanking dead I heard that from AbFabs and experienced those weirdos I was trying to have a girl on the dungeon room toys but one guy was breathing heavy in the shadows tugging Lolol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don’t really mind.

It’s not like they’re actually knocking on your front door and our profile is public.

It depends upon the thread to some extent as well.

People may prefer to reply privately on certain posts like club discussions or Fab issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get randomers messaging me from the Welsh forums. Think I upset a few people with my decisions on petty games. Delete, block, carry on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh my god the wanking dead I heard that from AbFabs and experienced those weirdos I was trying to have a girl on the dungeon room toys but one guy was breathing heavy in the shadows tugging Lolol"

We have came across lots of them at clubs. I actually find them quite amusing

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We don’t really mind.

It’s not like they’re actually knocking on your front door and our profile is public.

It depends upon the thread to some extent as well.

People may prefer to reply privately on certain posts like club discussions or Fab issues. "

That’s a good point. Do you tend to reply to them?

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I don't mind

I've messaged others via their forum posts to chit chat

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By *issIrishCoffeeWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I find it creepy and annoying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just delete the message as most have them dnt have any pics or even a profile pic. That makes it even creepier

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think if it was a post open for private messaging and you have similar interests to the person that’s great way to meet someone who you like. But if it’s just of the back of someone’s post and have nothing in commen with them that’s when it can become a bit of an annoyance.

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

WHEREVER I LAY MY HAT

If we have had a bit of banter on the forums - flirty or friendly - I don't mind. But it is creepy if they just 'cold call' in response to something I have posted. Depending on my mood I will either just delete/ignore or tell them to keep it on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If we have had a bit of banter on the forums - flirty or friendly - I don't mind. But it is creepy if they just 'cold call' in response to something I have posted. Depending on my mood I will either just delete/ignore or tell them to keep it on here"

Exactly this. I’ve messaged before and asked them to keep it to the forums but can get hit back with abuse so find it’s best just to delete

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

My own little world

I'm on the fence as one of the best chats I ever had on here was from a lass who messaged me due to forums at wich stage she wasn't able to interact on the forums unfortunately as am a dick and always end up ignoring messages at some point conversation went vut sometimes it's creepy gues depends on contents of message

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm on the fence as one of the best chats I ever had on here was from a lass who messaged me due to forums at wich stage she wasn't able to interact on the forums unfortunately as am a dick and always end up ignoring messages at some point conversation went vut sometimes it's creepy gues depends on contents of message "

Aww that was daft you should have kept in touch with her. It can be hard on here to get that connection

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands


"I don't mind

I've messaged others via their forum posts to chit chat "

We are the same and just delete those messages where we don't particularly want to interact (after a polite 'no thanks' for some)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's kinda creepy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind it at all. I've met some great people through a message of the back of a forum thread.

There are some lovely people who enjoy reading the forums but never comment in them, and I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't mind it at all. I've met some great people through a message of the back of a forum thread.

There are some lovely people who enjoy reading the forums but never comment in them, and I don't think there is anything wrong with it."

Do you mean they only enjoy private messaging people from the forums?

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London


"I don't mind it at all. I've met some great people through a message of the back of a forum thread.

There are some lovely people who enjoy reading the forums but never comment in them, and I don't think there is anything wrong with it."

I agree with this. Have had some great chats directly from forum posts, some of which have led to meets.

I also agree it's a bit off if they haven't bothered posting in the thread before messaging. Someone's posts can reveal a lot about their personality

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It’s obviously not against the rules as there is a reply privately. But is it classified as being rude?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the quality of the message for me. Sometimes it's a nice surprise, other times it's straight in the bin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lurkers are creepy. The forums are social, and sometimes funny. I don't want messages because I post there.

People are supposed to contribute in public. "
Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

- since I posted a few days ago I don't mind the odd lurker-msg, I've started getting loads. So putting it out there - it's kinda creepy. Stop it.

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

close

It's a daily occurrence

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By *vilsluggMan
over a year ago

GH

I wouldn’t mind some private messages but I don’t get many messages anyway so it would make my day

I can imagine it would be creepy, I’d reply in forum and try to get some banter going before trying any private messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s obviously not against the rules as there is a reply privately. But is it classified as being rude? "
I'd say so. An unsolicited 'in' for someone to contact you, get round filters

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By *onlywishiMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

I always assumed that the privately was something you got an invite for ? Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong lol

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By *imandher123456Couple
over a year ago

gosport

We get this too if we post in a forum , and there is definitely an increase in visits to the profile after leaving a comment on a forum , we would never private message someone on the back of a forum post , that's a bit like butting in on a stranger's conversation , but we have messaged people through their own profile if we have noticed them from a forum post somewhere

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"It’s obviously not against the rules as there is a reply privately. But is it classified as being rude? I'd say so. An unsolicited 'in' for someone to contact you, get round filters "

Filters still apply via forum messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don’t really mind.

It’s not like they’re actually knocking on your front door and our profile is public.

It depends upon the thread to some extent as well.

People may prefer to reply privately on certain posts like club discussions or Fab issues.

That’s a good point. Do you tend to reply to them? "

We always reply politely to any polite message that we receive.

Can’t always say that we agree with opinions or have answers to questions though.

It’s not like we’re snowed under with messages every day.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London


"We don’t really mind.

It’s not like they’re actually knocking on your front door and our profile is public.

It depends upon the thread to some extent as well.

People may prefer to reply privately on certain posts like club discussions or Fab issues.

That’s a good point. Do you tend to reply to them?

We always reply politely to any polite message that we receive.

Can’t always say that we agree with opinions or have answers to questions though.

It’s not like we’re snowed under with messages every day. "

You will be inundated now you've said that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get the same

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By *atureFem4FunWoman
over a year ago

Petts Wood

Depends.....most lurker messages are creepy, but one in particular on a Cuckqueen thread from a couple led to a fantastic experience.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

I don’t mind it. It’s fun to chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey what to you think of people who private message you of the back of your forum post?

We notice we get that quite alot even though the person hasn’t commented on the post.

Do you find it creepy or a good way to meet someone? "

Personally I don't mind. But I'll chat to anyone! I have made some good friends through the forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s obviously not against the rules as there is a reply privately. But is it classified as being rude? I'd say so. An unsolicited 'in' for someone to contact you, get round filters "

It doesn't get around filters. Blocks are still in place if they are on.

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

I guess some don't want to share their views publicly so private message to the person they wish to speak to. I have had a few in my time on here and some have gone on to nice conversations. I mean it's only like them stumbling across your profile via a search and sending a message isn't it? Do you not want messages? Turn off messaging then.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don’t mind it. It’s fun to chat. "

Yeah some chats are definitely good fun. Others though are not and can be really creepy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its strange how people want to lurk but not interact but happy to DM.

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By *onnie 90Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I delete them. There's something odd about people who do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So why is there a thread ask a private question reply in public. I get it that it can be creepy sometimes so just delete, block and move on. On the other hand sometimes the reply to a thread might be too personal and not to be shared with hundreds. Again if you don’t like it delete and or stay off the forum.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So why is there a thread ask a private question reply in public. I get it that it can be creepy sometimes so just delete, block and move on. On the other hand sometimes the reply to a thread might be too personal and not to be shared with hundreds. Again if you don’t like it delete and or stay off the forum."

That’s why I mentioned before about a private message option. Yes I agree there are reasons why people would reply privately main being that I’ve found out a lot of people can’t comment on the forums so that’s totally understandable.

But also others that don’t want to post anything on the forums and are just there to lurk and try it on.

That’s when it becomes creepy.

It’s not really anyone’s place to say stay of the forums because they get creepy messages from people that aren’t even interested in posting.

If they are going to creep then we are aloud to discuss it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I chat on forums but will occasionally direct message someone in relation to something on that forum. I have made some great connections in that way. But I guess it depends entirely on what someone puts in their PM.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I chat on forums but will occasionally direct message someone in relation to something on that forum. I have made some great connections in that way. But I guess it depends entirely on what someone puts in their PM. "
yes totally agree..that’s a great way to meet people

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I don't like them.

It's usually someone who wants dirty chat or an argument from something they don't like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I chat on forums but will occasionally direct message someone in relation to something on that forum. I have made some great connections in that way. But I guess it depends entirely on what someone puts in their PM. yes totally agree..that’s a great way to meet people "

Absolutely. Kind of gives you a feel for someone too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've met people this way so don't mind at all, I prefer it if they've also contributed to the thread but I think it's fine. No worse than a random message, at least they've seen something of interest and open with a topic of relevance

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By *ieandteaseMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire


"Hey what to you think of people who private message you of the back of your forum post?

We notice we get that quite alot even though the person hasn’t commented on the post.

Do you find it creepy or a good way to meet someone? "

A great way to be contacted by like minded people. Feel free to message me.

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By *il sub princessWoman
over a year ago

Worcestershire

I guess usually it's by people that may not come across you other than the forums. I don't see it as creepy at all. Why would they need to message publicly if interested in you, surely that is private.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I guess usually it's by people that may not come across you other than the forums. I don't see it as creepy at all. Why would they need to message publicly if interested in you, surely that is private."

Thats fare enough but when it’s someone who clearly hasn’t read your profile is the exact opposite to what you are looking for has not even commented on the forum they are using to message you and you get a message asking “seen your comment on the forum it really turned me on can I fuck you” that’s when I personally think it because really creepy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I guess usually it's by people that may not come across you other than the forums. I don't see it as creepy at all. Why would they need to message publicly if interested in you, surely that is private.

Thats fare enough but when it’s someone who clearly hasn’t read your profile is the exact opposite to what you are looking for has not even commented on the forum they are using to message you and you get a message asking “seen your comment on the forum it really turned me on can I fuck you” that’s when I personally think it becomes really creepy. "

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax


"I guess usually it's by people that may not come across you other than the forums. I don't see it as creepy at all. Why would they need to message publicly if interested in you, surely that is private.

Thats fare enough but when it’s someone who clearly hasn’t read your profile is the exact opposite to what you are looking for has not even commented on the forum they are using to message you and you get a message asking “seen your comment on the forum it really turned me on can I fuck you” that’s when I personally think it becomes really creepy. "

If they haven't read your bio and arent what your looking for I guess it's block and delete, then you don't get anything more from them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't like them.

It's usually someone who wants dirty chat or an argument from something they don't like."
Yep this has been my experience of late

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the subject is regarding a club meet and face pic attached I’d welcome it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I guess usually it's by people that may not come across you other than the forums. I don't see it as creepy at all. Why would they need to message publicly if interested in you, surely that is private.

Thats fare enough but when it’s someone who clearly hasn’t read your profile is the exact opposite to what you are looking for has not even commented on the forum they are using to message you and you get a message asking “seen your comment on the forum it really turned me on can I fuck you” that’s when I personally think it becomes really creepy.

If they haven't read your bio and arent what your looking for I guess it's block and delete, then you don't get anything more from them."
that’s exactly what we do

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If the subject is regarding a club meet and face pic attached I’d welcome it "

Then just send a private message surely? Not one of the back of a forum post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey what to you think of people who private message you of the back of your forum post?

We notice we get that quite alot even though the person hasn’t commented on the post.

Do you find it creepy or a good way to meet someone? "

We get plenty, don’t actually find anything wrong in general, mostly answering our post and normally a polite compliment or tribute follows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is slightly odd is a seemingly random message and subject and you realise it’s a response to a comment or post from several days or weeks ago!

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Only way I’d ever get any messages at all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is slightly odd is a seemingly random message and subject and you realise it’s a response to a comment or post from several days or weeks ago! "
yes this

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester


"They are probably the same ones who shuffle round creepily in clubs trying to get an eyeful, whilst tugging on their peckers with their jingling locker key hand. The Wanking Dead. X"

Prefer zombies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is slightly odd is a seemingly random message and subject and you realise it’s a response to a comment or post from several days or weeks ago! yes this"

As a guy. I don't mind messages relating to stuff from years ago! Lol

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By *ice_couple2012Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

We don't have strong feelings one way or another. We have oftwn had PMs on the back of a forum comment but it has nver been offensive or creepy. Also, as i think someone has noted already, a button is provided specifically for this purpose of reponding privately implying that this functionality is legitimate and acceptable

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

London

I don’t personally mind them, in fact, some of my best fab interactions came from forum games or certain posts indeed, some lead to meets, some to make friends for life.

There are more creepy behaviours on here than this one in my opinion.

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By *olly SwallowsTV/TS
over a year ago

Sexville

I prefer messages off the back of a forum post where there is some form of context and readable content. As supposed to just a random ‘hey’ or ‘fuck now’ or ‘not bad for a trans lass’.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lurkers are creepy. The forums are social, and sometimes funny. I don't want messages because I post there.

People are supposed to contribute in public. "

Fully agree with you on that note.

By the way loving your picture.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always been a lurker as not been able to comment/post in forums. But if you see this then problem has been fixed

Which admin said it has be so fingers crossed xx

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff


"Lurkers are creepy. The forums are social, and sometimes funny. I don't want messages because I post there.

People are supposed to contribute in public. "

I think thats unfair. Some 'lurkers' just don't have the confidence to post publicly initially. Nothing 'creepy' about that. And people don't have to contribute in public.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never message a lady until messaged on hear have found some really lovely lady friends on hear

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

I don't mind, if you do then make sure you put it in your profile then we can have another post about reading profiles and messaging.

Or delete them, if they are rude or offensive, report and block.

In fact I quite like the interaction, some people might feel intimidated my posting on the forums, I don't now why, it's not clicky or judgemental.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don’t really see it as a big deal to be honest. People will always reach out and take a chance, we have the power to interact or not. (T)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The easiest solution to this and something many people have suggested is the option to turn off the “reply privately” function.

I’ve made some great friends off the back of a forum post but equally have received some gross messages.

It would be good to have the choice.

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