FabSwingers.com forum: Sub/Dom - easy to switch? Can I switch?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I am a natural submissive. Discovers the delights of BDSM under a fantastic Dom/Master who opened my eyes to so much.

Now in a relationship where the sub/Dom aspect is currently only in the sexual sense (which is fine for now) he is a very good natural Dom.

We were talking the other night and he said he thinks he'd like me to take charge of him, so switch! I've got the feeling he could give up control and wouldn't mind some "pain" quite often if I'm sucking his cock he'll ask me to bite it and I do, he asks for me to bite harder and it is very hard that I'm biting (scared of hurting him actually haha)

This is completely Alien to me, I'm not saying I don't "want" to do it because I do want to please him (and myself) but sexually for years and years my headspace has been very much in sub mode (mainly because at work I'm

"Dom")

Can a sub switch to Dom? Is it something I can learn?

I've read there are people who can switch. I just didn't know how easy it is.

I may have to watch some videos for inspiration.

Any tips or advice are very much appreciated.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I am a natural submissive. Discovers the delights of BDSM under a fantastic Dom/Master who opened my eyes to so much.

Now in a relationship where the sub/Dom aspect is currently only in the sexual sense (which is fine for now) he is a very good natural Dom.

"Dom")

Can a sub switch to Dom? Is it something I can learn?

I've read there are people who can switch. I just didn't know how easy it is.

I may have to watch some videos for inspiration.

Any tips or advice are very much appreciated."

As I generally say on these topics, you have to have a certain element of domme within you, it is something not easily learnt or acted if you don't possess that personality already.

I do switch, yes, I am sub to M, but no one else and can domme but I am quite a strong lady already.

Tips will help, but you need to be able to be in complete control and have the mindset already within you.

Good luck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So am I right in thinking I must have some kind of Dom in me already? Even if it is through work?

I've ordered some restraints as I would really like to try it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't look at it as domination. Look at it at giving your dominant what he is asking of you.

As after all your being asked to give him what he desires. So isn't that in essence being a good sub. Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From what I understand, you are in a far better position to give it a try having been sub for so long... In comparison to someone who has never been either.

I believe being sub first is how many learn before becoming dominant, correct me if I'm wrong!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't look at it as domination. Look at it at giving your dominant what he is asking of you.

As after all your being asked to give him what he desires. So isn't that in essence being a good sub. Xx"

I was hoping you'd reply

Your post makes absolute sense and I hadn't thought of it like that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I m not a fan of switching as don't want respect lost

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Being dominant requires a lot of effort and work - sometimes people switch because the dom is ready for a break.

I believe that to be a dom you need to have that naturally in you... otherwise you would be playing a role whcih is ok.... but it requires a lot of "acting" and if your heart is not in it... you might find it tiring. I dont wish to sound negative and would encourage anybody with an interest in experimenting. Just my personal experience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your welcome and glad it makes sense. For me the only way I could ever do something outside of my comfort zone was to look at it like that

good luck. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant switch, I dont have the backbone or the mindset

Im submissive.

Ive had people ask me to top them before but I'm useless at it.

I did try though, with an ex girlfriend; so suggest you try it and see if it works for you.

Have fun with it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

I can switch, just like um, hitting a switch, though not back and forth in one session (or night!), and only with someone who is naturally dominant anyway - there'd be a bit of a power struggle first (overtly or through body language etc).

I doubt I could switch with someone who is naturally submissive, especially if they had been so with me. I'd be too tempted to take control, and wouldn't be able to, well, submit to them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cant switch, I dont have the backbone or the mindset

Im submissive.

Ive had people ask me to top them before but I'm useless at it.

I did try though, with an ex girlfriend; so suggest you try it and see if it works for you.

Have fun with it

Me too, tried it a couple of times but really struggled. Just gonna enjoy being sub! Meet a fabulous fem Dom and having a ball.......and gag

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

"So I am a natural submissive. Discovers the delights of BDSM under a fantastic Dom/Master who opened my eyes to so much.

Now in a relationship where the sub/Dom aspect is currently only in the sexual sense (which is fine for now) he is a very good natural Dom.

"Dom")

Can a sub switch to Dom? Is it something I can learn?

I've read there are people who can switch. I just didn't know how easy it is.

I may have to watch some videos for inspiration.

Any tips or advice are very much appreciated."

Someone once said subs make the best doms, you will know whether you are a switch or not, and if you are not, however much you want to please your dom, be yourself.

The experience will not be worth it, if you cannot genuinely dom him, and further, he will see through you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm switch and so is my bloke. We take it in turns to be Dom or sub and usually end up switching in the session too. It works great so it's definitely possible. Just depends on you really.

I really love Cali's suggestion to be Domme because he tells you to... So it's actually being a good sub. Brilliant.

If you are Domme at work then you could draw on that. Then you will find out if you can switch.. or just be a good sub. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I didn't think I would be able to switch, but actually when I was asked to I found it rather empowering! I could get right into being a Dom fem haha.

Littlebit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread