FabSwingers.com forum: Inability to perform

By *or Fox Sake OP Couple
over a year ago

Thornaby

what do you do when you invite a male round and they struggle to get it up

Had a few occurances of this now, Mrs not impressed as they were her gifts!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank them and politely show them the door in a nice way ...then drop us a line and..........

It makes a change from the other sort who turn up get over excited and cum no sooner you can say "oh thats a nice cock" then they get all embarrassed and say "oh is that the time i must dash" or "omg - im ever sorry but got message on mob says the world is coming to end and i need to go and see my wife and children" or 2 SMOETHING ELSE ?????"

moi a cynic ...never lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe get the cards out play strip pocker as that may turn everyone on , lol xxxx

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By *or Fox Sake OP Couple
over a year ago

Thornaby

"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.

I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?

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By *c-ukMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

"what do you do when you invite a male round and they struggle to get it up

Had a few occurances of this now, Mrs not impressed as they were her gifts!"

Call me!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.

I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"

It's for to be a scary thing for a single guy to be asked to perform I front of the hubby we always make them feel as comfortable as possible and I ( Paul ) tend to leave the room for awhile ( go for a cigarette) and let the mrs give them some personal attention seems to work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.

I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"

oi .... no ageism in here please lol ...we may be older but there some drive in those there groins still lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/01/13 14:18:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.

I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"

Ok, I am not a bloke, so can't really say that I know exactly why it won't perform when needed.

However, I can imagine with some it is just nerves. and maybe not get straight on with it, and as Jo says play a game, or have a nice sensual massage.

You two start the action and ask him to help/join in.

Failing that, tell your meet when he gets there, no erection and you're out (joke

)

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im going back to sleep lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps it's a mix of trepidation and inexperience.

I think you have just been unlucky. Maybe search for people that have good verifications with MMF and group fun.

I wouldn't take it personally. As you rightly state, your wife is hot, so it's not her fault.

Good luck in your search.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could just be them feeling the pressure of the expectation.

At the moment i'm having the problem that it won't go down. And even when I do something about it it still returns. Such is life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could just be them feeling the pressure of the expectation.

At the moment i'm having the problem that it won't go down. And even when I do something about it it still returns. Such is life

show off lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe try older more experienced guys who have some experience of swinging. Hope your next meet is more successful!

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.

I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"

Stunt cock. That made me laugh. First time i've heard that term before.

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By *inups99Couple
over a year ago

manchester

GOOD TIP!!!! Have done this a few times and it seems to help the situation along.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

all blokes will have stage fright at some point..

it happens..

take some of the pressure off perhaps by realxing, have a drink etc then see what pops up later..

some guys are not and never will be able to 'turn up' and fuck..

they need a mental connection also..

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By *atinaBabeCouple
over a year ago

casa caliente

never happened to m but noticied some guys really gets nervus lol try to hv a blue bill avaliable for them lol x

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

A good meet guide for couples from the Fab Union of Quality Single Men:

Try and get them all relaxed and chilled out when they arrive, have a chat and a drink, don't rush anything. Any time taken chatting and flirting well before hand often pays off here as well as you will feel you know each other more. The lady having a little on show can help too, a hint of underwear or flash of stocking tops works wonders.

When it's playtime it's often best if the husband leaves the room for a bit and the lady initiates play. Kissing and caressing helps set the mood if you allow that. Maybe a bit of dirty talk or an erotic strip or something.

Also make sure you have everything you need to hand; condoms, lube, toys etc. before the meet. Have them descreetly tucked away rather than on display. Disappearing for a few minutes to find something mid-meet isn't good.

It can happen to ANY bloke of ANY age at times, don't freak out about it. Just accept it and find other ways to play - maybe the problem will disappear and it will end up as a memorable meet for you all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.

I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"

Probably nerves! It's not a machine!

Perhaps try a few naughty games to ease their nerves first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have seen it happen a few times..we must be scary!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a chance! If someone can't perform around other men then its the single female box that should have been checked on the search, not couple!

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"all blokes will have stage fright at some point..

it happens..

take some of the pressure off perhaps by realxing, have a drink etc then see what pops up later..

some guys are not and never will be able to 'turn up' and fuck..

they need a mental connection also.."
THink you are spot on.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"A good meet guide for couples from the Fab Union of Quality Single Men:

"
Spot on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A good meet guide for couples from the Fab Union of Quality Single Men:

Oh I dunno I often find leaving them with M is entertainment enough lol

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"all blokes will have stage fright at some point..

it happens..

take some of the pressure off perhaps by realxing, have a drink etc then see what pops up later..

some guys are not and never will be able to 'turn up' and fuck..

they need a mental connection also..THink you are spot on.

only think...

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"all blokes will have stage fright at some point..

it happens..

take some of the pressure off perhaps by realxing, have a drink etc then see what pops up later..

some guys are not and never will be able to 'turn up' and fuck..

they need a mental connection also..THink you are spot on.

only think...

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

A little patience goes a long way towards helping. Usually getting them busy doing some oral or giving them some time to just get over the familiarity bump and relax is good. Sometimes it's meet 2 or three when they get going for real, but it doesn't matter... sometimes it's worth the wait

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.

I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"

Perhaps you should look at the older end of the market, ive never had a problem

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I am not a man (definitely not although sometimes wondered what it might be like

... but...BUT... I am wondering just how much pressure there must be ona man to perform. I know it is a natural thing but when there is a great expectation for a "stunt cock" ... is that not in itself enough pressure to not perform? Just a thought...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've had this problem quite often. It's when the guys think it's acceptable to just shove their fingers inside you instead that pisses me off. 'If you can't fuck, fuck off'. Read that on another gangbang couple's profile and it did make us chuckle. On the more sensitive side it's often the reality not living up to the fantasy. Once it's settled in it's very difficult to get out of it as trying harder just makes it softer. Agree with the general agreement that a bit of relaxing to start with goes a long way. We always meet guys in a bar initially, which is always quite amusing for everyone. One woman drinking with 6, 8, 10 guys. Shameless

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

" One woman drinking with 6, 8, 10 guys. Shameless

I hope they all stood a round - tightwads some of 'em

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what do you do when you invite a male round and they struggle to get it up

Had a few occurances of this now, Mrs not impressed as they were her gifts!"
invite me next time

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

It happened to me in a club once, lots of great foreplay with a lady and her husband then it was time for me to enter her. I fumbled around with condoms for ages with sticky fingers and lost my erection... they were cool about it and he took over. I was soon brought to attention again by the lovely lady and orgasmed as well.

On that occasion I came down with a stinking cold the very next day and had had a poor nights sleep beforehand, so that seems to have been the cause. With hindsight I should have staying in and not gone to the club so tired and worn out.

A few comments have had me shaking my head on this thread though I must admit

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

A few comments have had me shaking my head on this thread though I must admit

"
I was surprised at some comments, too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe get the cards out play strip pocker as that may turn everyone on , lol xxxx

Not as silly as it sounds. The thing that usually stops a guy 'gettin wood' (to use an Americanism) is stress. Anything that can divert his attention from that stress should make it easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.

I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"

Depends what you expect from a guy from the moment he walks inside your door. Your use of the term 'stunt cock' says loads......

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.

I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"

What I want to know is.. what's a stunt cock?

Devil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahh... One of the joys of bein a lezzer ha, no worrying about such things anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What gets me is that the guy is at home to Mr Floppy (often happens when the condoms come out) but I am there with a boner that could break concrete. Suspect it doesn't help!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ahh... One of the joys of bein a lezzer ha, no worrying about such things anymore

You wait till your strap-on bends in hot weather!!! Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" One woman drinking with 6, 8, 10 guys. Shameless

I hope they all stood a round - tightwads some of 'em

Wolf

Never in public. You have to have some standards

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

" One woman drinking with 6, 8, 10 guys. Shameless

I hope they all stood a round - tightwads some of 'em

Wolf

Never in public. You have to have some standards

I'd bin anyone who didn't buy me a drink

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I'd bin anyone who didn't buy me a drink

Wolf

We don't do too bad on that front. Even him,

Not too much though, we don't want the problem of this whole thread arising. Or not....!!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

[Removed by poster at 07/01/13 16:51:18]

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Do you read the rule book at the guy or just go with the flow?... ive met a few women who rather than just chatting and enjoying begin their hellos much like some profiles .. I dont do this/that, I wont be doing this/that, treat me like this/that, I like it like this/that?

Ive never had a problem but it did put me off one meet to the point I thought they wanted me to leave..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That went well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you read the rule book at the guy or just go with the flow?... ive met a few women who rather than just chatting and enjoying begin their hellos much like some profiles .. I dont do this/that, I wont be doing this/that, treat me like this/that, I like it like this/that?

Ive never had a problem but it did put me off one meet to the point I thought they wanted me to leave..

Wow... It makes you wonder why some people bother. To me it sounds like they just don't get the point of it... Maybe they should just buy a dildo they can suck up to a wall and ride that while hubby provides the oral stimulation.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Ive never had a problem but it did put me off one meet to the point I thought they wanted me to leave..

Lol... Some of those dildos are a weight lol but you can understand the safety aspect of it. It does distract from the good sex on the meet though ... Its only strange as they have exchanged messages, given pictures, numbers and addresses with trust but then expect you to turn into some fanatical axe weilder lol

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By *ifferentClassMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

'Stunt cock' is pretty much an expectation that the poor bloke will perform to the level of a pornstar....so no pressure, then! I often find it unhelpful to perceive that I am 'just a cock, not a person attached to it' and I dislike that cold, ruthless approach - I would hope that most ladies would feel equally unimpressed being thought of as some kind of spunk dump. I would imagine that the majority of people on here are just ordinary people trying to have fun - and the old 'not coming out/up to play' happens to anyone and everyone occasionally for a plethora of different reasons and is part and parcel of sex (despite the 'mine never fails' brigade - of course we will all claim that when seeking a meet!) One would hope a decent person would show a bit of consideration and not destroy a poor fella's confidence by telling them to fuck off. As has been said - a wee bit of pressure off does wonders and play can be resumed.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

have met a guy before who was a lovely guy but cud not perform wen we got to the bedroom.. it was not high drama and we invited him back at a later date. I do think this is something that most guys will experience at one time or another

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't get it up once during a fairly hot threesome cos one girl was being really dominant and aggro which is like... Well there isn't a sufficient enough analogy for how much that doesn't suit me.

I think if I was in a situation with another guy who couldn't or even a girl who wasn't getting relaxed enough I'd just not say anything and carry on doing other things and if they want to bow out it's their choice.

Depends how relaxed a person you are. I can understand someone not being bothered if that's the specific reason they met you.

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"I couldn't get it up once during a fairly hot threesome cos one girl was being really dominant and aggro which is like... Well there isn't a sufficient enough analogy for how much that doesn't suit me.

That's what they invented ballgags and gaffa tape for... keeps the over-feisty ones quiet and still qualifies as foreplay

Wolf

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

How tiresome that must be... His embarrassment and awkwardness and you having to witness that.

Life deals such cruel blows to some couples.

Onwards and hopefully upwards next time....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".. I would hope that most ladies would feel equally unimpressed being thought of as some kind of spunk dump."

Well said. It goes both ways....

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By *odkaboy2Man
over a year ago

bristol

Your wife certainly isn't a woofer! Bloody horny!

However, I have been that bloke with erectile issues, and it doesn't reflect on the couple. It's just that sometimes there are nerves and angood looking woman can put some pressure on to perform.

Patience is the key - I've used alternative methods eg tongue etc and always eventually risen to the occasion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not entirely sure a single guy should be swinging if it finds it intimidating. It takes a certain mindset to do this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since separated two years back i be swinging as a single by invite only and occasional with a fem FB in tow

and whilst id agree it can be daunting as long as you understand what the meeting is set up for ie; free for all - mixed multi session - mixed bi session (mine all are) -or even GB's then single men should be ok i think ...

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