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Boundaries and limits

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Am I the only person who finds it creepy when men have on their profile that they are looking to find someone to “push boundaries and limits” with?

I’m just wondering if I’ve got the wrong idea about what this means. I understood someone’s boundaries are to be respected

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I feel the same way about it.

Anyone who starts out saying they want to push my boundaries and limits can fuck off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Am I the only person who finds it creepy when men have on their profile that they are looking to find someone to “push boundaries and limits” with?

I’m just wondering if I’ve got the wrong idea about what this means. I understood someone’s boundaries are to be respected

"

Actually that’s a very good point

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By *ensualgent38Man
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh


"Am I the only person who finds it creepy when men have on their profile that they are looking to find someone to “push boundaries and limits” with?

I’m just wondering if I’ve got the wrong idea about what this means. I understood someone’s boundaries are to be respected

Actually that’s a very good point "

I think it’s about the excitement of exploring and trying new things, including some things you might have thought you wouldn’t enjoy.

The respect has to come first, of course. Without that, swinging does work.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

May be they see that as the same as offering to expand limits in a consensual way. In the kink world, words and phrases are opaque, e.g people are not legally "Master and sl#ve" and even people differ on the interpretation. I find it is always best to clarify what people mean.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are most likely referring to the kink world and fancy themselves as a bit of a Dom in which case boundaries and do and can be pushed to the limits but this is all normally spoken about in pre negotiation before any play happens and is very much consensual, so long as the safe word/words are 100% respected it is often what the sub is looking for

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

As a happy member of the BDSM community, I stand by my comment that anyone who starts out saying they want to push my boundaries or limits can fuck off

I'm all for trying new things, pushing things further than is generally acceptable, playing in unusual ways. But my limits are my limits. My boundaries are my boundaries. And I will not have any Domly Dom type try to push past those

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't look at men's profiles but I've seen this exact line on numerous women's and couples profiles.

It could be referring to their own boundaries or simply that they hope to find someone for mutual exploration.

I don't read too much into it because the vast majority of people on here are seeking to push boundaries.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

[Removed by poster at 28/02/23 21:33:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a happy member of the BDSM community, I stand by my comment that anyone who starts out saying they want to push my boundaries or limits can fuck off

I'm all for trying new things, pushing things further than is generally acceptable, playing in unusual ways. But my limits are my limits. My boundaries are my boundaries. And I will not have any Domly Dom type try to push past those "

Seconded, also a member of the kink community here, if they say it’s a boundary or limit, it stays a limit and I do not push that, if they want to explore something we do that safety as they’re comfortable. A Domme who pushes is a Domme you should avoid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a happy member of the BDSM community, I stand by my comment that anyone who starts out saying they want to push my boundaries or limits can fuck off

I'm all for trying new things, pushing things further than is generally acceptable, playing in unusual ways. But my limits are my limits. My boundaries are my boundaries. And I will not have any Domly Dom type try to push past those "

I would assume you make clear to whomever that your boundaries/limits are your hard boundaries/limits before hand though, so as they are not to be pushed? If you was to say that something was a soft limit would you then allow them to maybe push that for instance

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

Yea we tend to avoid any profile that has that in it. If we ever want to test our boundaries then we can do that at home together in a safe space not that we need to be testing them as we are both happy where they are

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"I would assume you make clear to whomever that your boundaries/limits are your hard boundaries/limits before hand though, so as they are not to be pushed? If you was to say that something was a soft limit would you then allow them to maybe push that for instance"

Soft limits are something I don't deal with. If I'm open to something, it's not a limit.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

boundaries are boundaries end of ...

if someone want to try and push them then thats sexual assault or worse

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Am I the only person who finds it creepy when men have on their profile that they are looking to find someone to “push boundaries and limits” with?

I’m just wondering if I’ve got the wrong idea about what this means. I understood someone’s boundaries are to be respected

"

They are.

Maybe they mean pushing and exploring their own boundaries? Maybe they will fully respect yours but haven't yet learnt what their own are and are curious to see what does in fact turn them.on and what doesn't.

Maybe they're looking for help on that front and not looking to challenge anyone else's limits at all?

Context is key and there's no point making assumptions.

A

*of course if they say they want to push YOUR boundaries then just tell them to fuck off and block them.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

You discuss this with the person! Everyone has different kinks and boundaries.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"[Removed by poster at 28/02/23 21:33:13]"

I am not moaning or complaining, I am asking a genuine question as to what this actually means. As it turns out it is supposedly to do with kink - which I did not know, and now my question has been answered

The only reason I did not state women is because I have yet to come across it on a woman’s profile. My own experience has been that of men’s profiles only. My experience not mean that this does not exist on other genders profiles also. I am not bashing men.

I’m sorry so many people have had bad experiences and feel the need to jump to this conclusion whenever they see a post asking about an experience with men on this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would assume you make clear to whomever that your boundaries/limits are your hard boundaries/limits before hand though, so as they are not to be pushed? If you was to say that something was a soft limit would you then allow them to maybe push that for instance

Soft limits are something I don't deal with. If I'm open to something, it's not a limit. "

Ok that makes a lot of sense, in my head I was thinking along the lines of how much of something someone could take rather than something that they wouldn't want doing to them what so ever.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle


"[Removed by poster at 28/02/23 21:33:13]

I am not moaning or complaining, I am asking a genuine question as to what this actually means. As it turns out it is supposedly to do with kink - which I did not know, and now my question has been answered

The only reason I did not state women is because I have yet to come across it on a woman’s profile. My own experience has been that of men’s profiles only. My experience not mean that this does not exist on other genders profiles also. I am not bashing men.

I’m sorry so many people have had bad experiences and feel the need to jump to this conclusion whenever they see a post asking about an experience with men on this site "
But you would discuss it with the person? You have to respect mens boundaries too, As both should be treated equally. Of course everyone's boundaries should be respected i agree with you!

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By *ixey and CopperCouple
over a year ago

Exeter


"I don't look at men's profiles but I've seen this exact line on numerous women's and couples profiles.

It could be referring to their own boundaries or simply that they hope to find someone for mutual exploration.

I don't read too much into it because the vast majority of people on here are seeking to push boundaries. "

This comment

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By *ilks xXxWoman
over a year ago

East Mids


"I feel the same way about it.

Anyone who starts out saying they want to push my boundaries and limits can fuck off "

Absolutely ???? this.

I’ve spent a good many years realising what my boundaries are, am comfortable with where they are … my boundaries are my limits, I’ve already pushed them myself to understand where they are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You discuss this with the person! Everyone has different kinks and boundaries. "

This isn’t about one person. It’s about the large amount of men who have contacted me who have this statement in their profile. It’s very common. As I said in my reply to you above, I am asking a genuine question about the meaning behind it

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle


"You discuss this with the person! Everyone has different kinks and boundaries.

This isn’t about one person. It’s about the large amount of men who have contacted me who have this statement in their profile. It’s very common. As I said in my reply to you above, I am asking a genuine question about the meaning behind it "
Ah right i see sorry!

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By *koda33Man
over a year ago

garvesend

I'm liking this chat lol

I've yet had the chance for someone to ask me my limits and boundaries

Can someone please tell me or ask xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm liking this chat lol

I've yet had the chance for someone to ask me my limits and boundaries

Can someone please tell me or ask xx"

I've only been asked once and it was a quick "are there any boundaries I should know about" on entering a play room at a club, I said No but looking back the fact the ladies husband was coming in to watch I probably should have said I'm straight so no bi play, lucky for me he was also straight but I didn't know at the time lol so avoided the awkward having to say no half way through

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have hard limits and an idea of boundaries, but its only in exploring I'll find where that hard limit / boundary is - how far I'm open to or I'd like it to go. Once I know then its a hard limit/boundary. I see pushing limits to mean finding where the boundary is for them or you with mutual consent. Not them ignoring an already established hard boundary.

IMO

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