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"Or repressing by choice? Please respond with an open mind and note this is NOT a criticism of either gender!! A question born from our recent conversation with another couple who agreed it's a possiblity. Notice sexuality series' like 'Planet Sex' which we enjoyed. However it's purely focused on female enjoyment, satisfaction, exploration, fantasies etc.. On looking for similar, but with a male perspective #Tumble. Sexual equality is an absolute given, but wonder if it has shifted to being all about the woman's pleasure in an over compensation against misogynistic days gone by? This could also be down to societal pressure for guys, as D never felt he had an outlet to discuss sex with other guys and really appreciates the friends we now have from the lifestyle where it's acceptable. "This is an interesting topic of subject, the problem majority of men find talking about sex comes the laddish culture of "yeah did this to her", of which really doesn't dive into any sort of real sexual connections or desires. There is definitely a social dynamic change, or shock change as we call it, to offset the balance it has to drastically go the other way. As you say, thankfully outlets such as this site, give opportunities to all genders and orientations to discuss openly, without judgement or opportunities to meet people to discuss. We've certainly had our horizons broaden from meeting people and felt more free in being here. | |||
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"Do men feel repressed?" Of course that boils down to the individual, within the lifestyle there's a fair greater openness but seemingly in the vanilla world female sexuality is celebrated now, male is deemed predatory?? An example.. Male stripper show's vs lap dance bars. Are they perceived equally? | |||
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"Or repressing by choice? Please respond with an open mind and note this is NOT a criticism of either gender!! A question born from our recent conversation with another couple who agreed it's a possiblity. Notice sexuality series' like 'Planet Sex' which we enjoyed. However it's purely focused on female enjoyment, satisfaction, exploration, fantasies etc.. On looking for similar, but with a male perspective #Tumble. Sexual equality is an absolute given, but wonder if it has shifted to being all about the woman's pleasure in an over compensation against misogynistic days gone by? This could also be down to societal pressure for guys, as D never felt he had an outlet to discuss sex with other guys and really appreciates the friends we now have from the lifestyle where it's acceptable.
This is an interesting topic of subject, the problem majority of men find talking about sex comes the laddish culture of "yeah did this to her", of which really doesn't dive into any sort of real sexual connections or desires.
There is definitely a social dynamic change, or shock change as we call it, to offset the balance it has to drastically go the other way.
As you say, thankfully outlets such as this site, give opportunities to all genders and orientations to discuss openly, without judgement or opportunities to meet people to discuss.
We've certainly had our horizons broaden from meeting people and felt more free in being here.
"Thank you, A considered response and exactly! I have many friends who are aware and applaud our lifestyle, D has 4 people aware and the only one he can discuss it with is a woman he walks the dog with! The 3 male friend's don't discuss it with him  
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"I think men still feel pressured to be the initiator… to lead .. even in an emancipated environment like this there’s still lots of ladies who wont message first - dont want to take the initiative… some who have commented on threads saying I still believe that men should make the first move… so is that equality….? True equality surely is where any gender feels it is appropriate for them to take the initiative without pressure of any kind. Just my lunchtime musings for what they’re worth "And worthy!! True! We met via Bumble, ironic as D was unable to make the first move  | |||
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"Do men feel repressed? Of course that boils down to the individual, within the lifestyle there's a fair greater openness but seemingly in the vanilla world female sexuality is celebrated now, male is deemed predatory?? An example.. Male stripper show's vs lap dance bars. Are they perceived equally?" Changing perceptions I will but I don't think female sexuality is celebrated much. It's certainly better than it used to be but attitudes towards women are still pretty much Victorian. There is far more tendency to call out unacceptable sexual behaviour by men nowadays (this should apply to women too in my opinion) which some are finding difficult to accept, this could be one reason why the word predatory is used. It's a difficult question, there isn't an answer and I honestly don't think we'll ever achieve absolute parity. | |||
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" Changing perceptions I will but I don't think female sexuality is celebrated much. It's certainly better than it used to be but attitudes towards women are still pretty much Victorian. There is far more tendency to call out unacceptable sexual behaviour by men nowadays (this should apply to women too in my opinion) which some are finding difficult to accept, this could be one reason why the word predatory is used. It's a difficult question, there isn't an answer and I honestly don't think we'll ever achieve absolute parity. " Absolute parity will depend unfortunately on the environment either sex finds themselves in we believe.. I work in a male dominated work place and am adept at embarrassing the guy's far more than they do me. However D as a single father found it very difficult to take his son to many prominently women biased groups as no one would interact with him..  | |||
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"I think it's because we as a society focus on female pleasure over male in media, you know there's a trope about men being bad at sex I.e not being able to find the clit, can't last long enough but not a real female equivalent. In think media views sex for men as a "performance" to impress the women whilst women's is more about the sensuality of it. I also believe people find women's sexuality (for obvious reasons some negative views of men also) more appealing than men's sexuality, it's more sexy and marketable I suppose. If we're talking about the consumer base of said media; women are the biggest consumers of erotica. I don't it think appeals to many men as it does women hence all of the erotic media being targeted at women. Just my thoughts. (Sidenote) I feel like male friendships suck in a lot of ways because many men won't let their guards down and talk about intimate/vulnerable topics with eachother to save masculine frame and not be a subject of ridicule by the "lads". I'm lucky to have a very down to earth friend whom we speak with about anything with no fear of judgement. It's very fulfilling/therapeutic." D would agree and just watch the episode of Sex Planet.. He was rolling his eyes at some of the points about men being unaware/useless.. Very untrue here | |||
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" Changing perceptions I will but I don't think female sexuality is celebrated much. It's certainly better than it used to be but attitudes towards women are still pretty much Victorian. There is far more tendency to call out unacceptable sexual behaviour by men nowadays (this should apply to women too in my opinion) which some are finding difficult to accept, this could be one reason why the word predatory is used. It's a difficult question, there isn't an answer and I honestly don't think we'll ever achieve absolute parity. Absolute parity will depend unfortunately on the environment either sex finds themselves in we believe.. I work in a male dominated work place and am adept at embarrassing the guy's far more than they do me. However D as a single father found it very difficult to take his son to many prominently women biased groups as no one would interact with him.. "That's partly because rightly or wrongly women expect men to interpret friendliness as sexual interest and judging by some of the things I read on here it's rightly a lot of the time. Also partly because people are not inclusive in any way for the most part and groups will exclude anyone they perceive to be different. | |||
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"I don’t feel repressed. Personally I like all the tv series focussing on women because it breaks that myth that women don’t care about sex. Of course they care and the more they care then the better for me! Personally I find the sex is better when the lady is having a good time - she is more responsive and the better the sex for her the better the sex for me. And I like good sex for me "Glad to hear! Utterly agree with the fact a sexually inhibited woman is far more fun!! How many friends do you openly discuss your sexuality and experiences with? | |||
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" That's partly because rightly or wrongly women expect men to interpret friendliness as sexual interest and judging by some of the things I read on here it's rightly a lot of the time. Also partly because people are not inclusive in any way for the most part and groups will exclude anyone they perceive to be different. " Pretty much illustrates the disparity, he is far from unattractive (in my opinion) but on the flip side I'm welcomed within male dominated environments.. | |||
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"Interesting topic. It is an issue that cuts across all races and all cultures. I find it slightly disturbing that vanilla society almost universally is more accepting of violence than sexuality. In than sense the hippies were on to something when they said make love not war. There may be an age aspect to this - older people will have been in a culture that had a more repressive approach. Younger people will have had much more exposure to online porn - so while sexuality is much more open I am not sure it has developed in a positive way hence the rise of some quite unpleasant misogynistic attitudes. How we solve this is a complex question and I am not sure I have any answers, but welcome the debate. " Thank you! It was not intended to be inflammatory at all. Merely thought provoking.. Guy's tread a fine line we feel... Not going to solve anything, but we were interested in others thoughts. | |||
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