FabSwingers.com forum: Messages left as 'read'

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

One for couples and single guys.

If a single guy has messaged you and you have left the message as 'read' what does that generally mean to you? Can't be bothered to reply? There's some interest? Etc

Please give your opinions

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single fem here so my answer won't count

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

For me if I hav'nt replied within a few hrs of reading it then its most likely im not going to reply at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a couple we have had quite a few of these - assume it means they aren't interested but can't understand why they don't reply back and say a simple thanks but no thanks. It appears the message just stays in the "inbox" for ages!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Single fem here so my answer won't count

Shit ... Typo lol. That's what I meant.

Surely it is just a case of reply or delete? X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Tend to reply quite quickly both off single and couple profile. If i/we have not replied within say a day it means we won't reply. That does nothappen very often and really only if the message was either rude or so way off our profile and settings that it does not need a reply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as a single guy...

if it is a message to a couple and it's read, maybe they are waiting on their partner before replying

if it's a single woman and it's read, but not replied, then not interested I guess.

In my mind I never expect a reply any way so wouldn't concern yourself or read too much intit!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont check, if i send a message and i dont get a reply i take it as they're not interested, wether its not been read, been read and left or deleted dont make a difference does it? if they dont reply they're not interested, i dont understand why people check to see if a message as been read or deleted or not personally

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another single fem, but...

Quite often I will read through my messages on my phone, but hate replying via my phone, so if I know I'm going to be on a laptop soon will wait til then to reply.

So could either be that the message was read but can't reply straight away, or just read and not interested. Or read and laptop crashed, or read tehn got abducted by aliens....

I once got a really abusive message from a man I was really interested in and was going to reply to - but he didn't like that I hadn't repied within 20 minutes of reading!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/01/13 20:40:25]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont delete each message as i read them

If i read a message and im not interested i just move onto the next, i clear my inbox out every week or so by doing a block delete not message by message as i read them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we as a couple would only reply once we have both taken time to review the message together.

So it may take a while for that to happen.

If we're not interested we say so.

However, we take a non answered message to be a "not interested, right now" and may message others again another time, unless we're told "not interested, at all"

Life gets in the way, and people sometime forget or have other things going on..

Unless there is a definitive reply.. you will never know, so just try another time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

And I normally just do a bulk delete every few days or so!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally leave my messages as read if they are of interest,my in box gets full very quickly its difficult to keep up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally leave my messages as read if they are of interest,my in box gets full very quickly its difficult to keep up

i feel your pain

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel it more

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the response

Relativly new on here and im being both polite and personal to those I am contacting.

Last thing I want to do is hound people lol. Appreciate the feed back on couples

Thanks x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

teddy sucks at replying to messages when hes read them so for us it could be that. it could be that one of us is at work and dont want to reply until we've talked(meet requests) or i dont want to reply(safe to assue if its been more than 24 hours, i have no intention of responding)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I feel it more

And I am just....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't play that often. If someone of interest mails us we'll keep the message til a better time.we don't tell them that tho as in the past we've been badgered.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

It can be a whole week before I answer sometimes because I cash often get on via the mobile site, which is easy to read emails but a pain to answer. I don't always read emails properly either, if I'm on the site on the forum or becasuse I'm sat on a bus (I read more emails on public transport than anywhere else lol) I'll leave answering till it's more convenient.

I've had guys email themselves out of me being interested because I've not answered quick enough for them.

Same goes for my couples account, hubby will read message s on there quicker than I do but as it's me that answers, messages have to wait until I check

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

I read when i can, but don't always respond straight away.

Like most on here, have had a few abusive messages from people because i didn't respond "fast enough" for their liking. Oh well

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are only on the site together at the weekend so if we get a mail on a Monday it may be read by one of us but not replied to until the weekend. But if we have a particularly busy weekend it may not get answered till later than that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"i dont delete each message as i read them

If i read a message and im not interested i just move onto the next, i clear my inbox out every week or so by doing a block delete not message by message as i read them"

I do the same

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i dont delete each message as i read them

If i read a message and im not interested i just move onto the next, i clear my inbox out every week or so by doing a block delete not message by message as i read them

I do the same"

I get this a lot as a single guy ill get message read and that's it,mind you if Jezebel was on my search I'd send her a message xxxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often don't reply immediately, occasionally it's days or even weeks (if message ends up 'off the screen') before I reply.

It does amuse me when I've been blocked by the sender - presumably for not replying - so I can't reply. They'll never know they probably missed a meet!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tend to reply quite quickly both off single and couple profile. If i/we have not replied within say a day it means we won't reply. That does nothappen very often and really only if the message was either rude or so way off our profile and settings that it does not need a reply."

If only more were like you. There are a lot of profiles that ask for a well written message and then don't even bother with a "No thanks".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

Been slagged off a few times for not replying quickly enough for the sender. Well, frankly, they can fuck 'em selves, as we won't be bothering after abuse. The simple fact is that we often check the site, separately on our phones, then compare thoughts and reply later, together. So get off your high fucking horses.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My theory is this a simple no thanks or will be in touch takes seconds to reply.

What you have to remember is there are loads of time wasters who specify they want this or that then when people reply to there request no response.

Always reply it helps verify your genuine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been slagged off a few times for not replying quickly enough for the sender. Well, frankly, they can fuck 'em selves, as we won't be bothering after abuse. The simple fact is that we often check the site, separately on our phones, then compare thoughts and reply later, together. So get off your high fucking horses.

I never slag anyone off for not replying as I just accept that they are not interested, but a short reply would be appreciated nonetheless.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My theory is this a simple no thanks or will be in touch takes seconds to reply.

What you have to remember is there are loads of time wasters who specify they want this or that then when people reply to there request no response.

Always reply it helps verify your genuine."

why would you need to verify your genuine to someone you have no interest in meeting by reply?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My theory is this a simple no thanks or will be in touch takes seconds to reply.

What you have to remember is there are loads of time wasters who specify they want this or that then when people reply to there request no response.

Always reply it helps verify your genuine.

why would you need to verify your genuine to someone you have no interest in meeting by reply?"

I agree. For me it is simply a matter of courtesy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One for couples and single guys.

If a single guy has messaged you and you have left the message as 'read' what does that generally mean to you? Can't be bothered to reply? There's some interest? Etc

Please give your opinions"

It means we've read it. End of. Like I keep saying, specially in relation to single guys on here due to the enormous imbalance between them and single fems/couples, the ONLY thing that is of any importance is RESPONSES - and not if a message you have sent has been read, unread or deleted. When I used to swing as single guy, I learned pretty quick to just delete en-mass intro messages as soon as I had sent them. Stops you getting worked up or depressed about what the person receiving them does with them.

You can ONLY work with responses - they are the only things that matter.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We lose track of messages and have forgotten to reply then they've fallen off the end of the inbox due to receiving many more.

If we've read a message and left it so, it mean's we've read it... we may not have replied due to time, that we're not together to reply as a couple or that we're not interested. Some of the messages we get have had so little effort put into writing it in the first place, I feel opening it and reading it makes me equal in terms of effort thus I don't feel a need to reply.

Keep your messages tailored to who you're messaging according to their profile ensuring you meet their requirements in the first place. Don't lose faith and ensure that you show off your personality on the profile and the forums to attract playmates. Good luck!

crystal

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would probably take it that there's maybe an interest there but some reason why they haven't replied yet.

Just been put on the back boiler so to speak.

The only thing to do would be to wait and see what happened.

XXXX

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One for couples and single guys.

If a single guy has messaged you and you have left the message as 'read' what does that generally mean to you? Can't be bothered to reply? There's some interest? Etc

Please give your opinions"

It means they have the choice to reply or not as and when time wise. If someone doesn't reply don't fret leave it and move on. If they reply its a bonus.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we get a message from someone we're definitely not interested in then either of us will reply to say thanks but no thanks. If it's from someone that we could be interested in then we leave the message until the other half has had chance to have a look which could take a while.

Advice to people-don't send a follow up message if you don't get a reply. It smacks of desperation and is off putting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we've had similar experiences to jojo-abuse from guys because of not replying immediately and it usually says on their profiles that they are polite and non pushy!!! Priceless

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

[Removed by poster at 06/01/13 09:21:43]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Way i see it is if no reply within a year assume time to move on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Means they are not interested. So don't get you're hopes up. Delete you're sent messages then you won't keep looking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

im part of a couple and normally we reply to every message unless we have a meet today up as it just gets silly we can have upto 100 messages (god knows why) and more often than not from people who havent read our profile and have just seen the meet today so we dont always reply to them as we would still be replying instead of having fun.

So for us its a way of saying thanks but no thanks.

We did have one guy hassle us once as we hadnt replied despite logging on a few times and the sad thing was we were considering him to join us he soon got ditched. So my advice is move on if you dont get a reply you might get one later dont badger people for a reply and enjoy it. Variety isthe spice of life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread