FabSwingers.com forum: The Ethics Of Swinging.

By *onnie 90 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Long ago in a galaxy far far away...

Swinging was invented. The idea being consensual married (or in relationship) couples would share their partners with other like minded couples. All good honest fun.

Now? It's a cheaters paradise. Overrun with "single" males who have absolutely no respect for their wives who have no idea what's going on behind their backs.

I'm certainly not saying all single males are guilty of this. Far from it. But as we all know the men outnumber the women 100/1 on here (or thereabouts). And the percentage of then that are cheating? I wouldn't care to hazard a guess but I doubt it's a low percentage.

So, is the Swinging ideal still alive? Or is it now accepted that a high amount of dishonesty is part of the course? I'm on here with my partner's knowledge. We also have a couples account. Every meet I have via this account he is fully aware of.

I fully understand that there are some cheating women on here too. But the numbers, I'm sure, will be infinitesimal in comparison to their male counterparts.

So, keep it civil folks. This is more an observation than a critique.

Is the original idea of swinging dead?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think that's a fairly cynical view of the current situation in swinging and an idealised view of what swinging previously was.

Dishonesty has always been part of swinging but I don't think it's par for the course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only been to 1 swinging club so farand we met 3 guys there who all admitted they where there without the wives knowledge.

And they wanted a piece of mine.

Fuckoff was the answer.

So yes lots of married guys changing their luck for a quick fuck behind the wife's back.

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By *9funboyMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

No judgement there then! Like many have said previously, it's easy scroll past, surely?

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By *hogun300Man
over a year ago

Dundee

"Long ago in a galaxy far far away...

Swinging was invented. The idea being consensual married (or in relationship) couples would share their partners with other like minded couples. All good honest fun.

Now? It's a cheaters paradise. Overrun with "single" males who have absolutely no respect for their wives who have no idea what's going on behind their backs.

I fully understand that there are some cheating women on here too. But the numbers, I'm sure, will be infinitesimal in comparison to their male counterparts.

So, keep it civil folks. This is more an observation than a critique.

Is the original idea of swinging dead?"

Agree with most of this. For many they treat it like some sort of instashag and don't understand that for others it is a lifestyle choice. Luckily they are fairly easy to spot. Goes hand in hand with the timewasters as well, a lot of fantasists unfortunately.

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By *oulkissMan
over a year ago

Croydon

Some of us guys are in open, non-mono relationships and are free to find fun elsewhere.

I recently met someone in a pub, ie not a swinger, who I turned down anything happening that night but arranged to go for a drink the following week.

Within minutes she was very touchy-feely, but the first real thing we talked about was me telling her that I was not single - the WhatsApp chats we had had during the week made it kind of obvious that she was looking for more than casual.

She wasn't into that, so we have remained in touch, but it hasn't and wont go any further, well unless she changes her mind.

So there are us single blokes who go to clubs/socials on our own who DO have someone in their lives, in my case she wants ALL the details as she gets a kick out of hearing about any fun I have. Mainly I go for the social side of things, meeting and chatting to people in a sex-positiver environment.

Why don't I take her to clubs etc? Well I did once, when we were just FWBs, but now some health issues of hers means she can't get out to play. When she is well, I will probably go to fewer events on my own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Instashag

Very apt

And very funny too

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Was swinging ever some kind of utopian paradise?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I believe in ethical non monogamy.

I also believe that a lot of people in swinging do not enter into it ethically.

I don't know if it's better or worse than before.

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By *lthomasMan
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Couples want different things from their meets and it’s always the choice of the individuals involved to know what they are happy with.

Each to their own as they as

I’ve made friends with couples, been invited to their homes and bern there for hours. Also had couples turn up to my hotel room and had one where the whole night from them arriving to them, leaving was less than 20 minutes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well there definitely is a "cheetahs paradise" on here since fabs has become a household name along with other people using the site for their own means watering down the old ideals.

Primary responsibility of swingers is open non monogamy with consent surely?

Would also say that there is a bit of a new wave of people who probably have a different consept or agenda that feel like the classical way about going about swinging doesn't apply to them and they will go about things how they see fit.

We definitely notice that online is pretty much completely dead now for us sadly but have no idea why and going to a club that groups are pre networking on chat groups and have things pre arranged or organised making it calculated and not on a individual level so much but it's a tighter, less open, clic style environment. We love to socialise and with the hope it might get flirty and progress but starting to feel like we're no longer fitting in and being left behind? Suppose for them it's taking the gamble out of the equation but wasn't not knowing what was going to happen part of the appeal and excitement?

It's very notable 3-4 years ago we could ping out a few "here's us feel free to come say hello" messages with face pics to profiles listing club meets and we would get a high amount of replies with a polite response and face pics as a reply. Nowadays it's much more complicated and very impersonal and much more controlled, often its just "we'll see you there" and no pictures to keep the ball firmly in their court?

Maybe it's a lockdown knock on effect but be nice to go back to the the warmer more polite, open and respectful way of going about it all.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Was swinging ever some kind of utopian paradise?"

I don't think it was. Much as people look back on the sixties as the era of free love I think people look back at swinging pre-internet through rose coloured glasses.

In the 80s worked for a publication that ran contact ads and provided PO boxes for replies. There were a lot of 'single' men placing ads even then

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

taunton somerset

its always been cheater paradise with many many couplles prefering the married man/woman as theres little drama.

the couple we first met 30 years ago told us then that theres a lot of married playing behind there partners backs the only difference today is fab is well know and between guys telling there mates and covid shutdown its flooded it with men a big chunk of that is married ...married women dont get the grief because of the low volumes of women on here

#justmyopinion

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