FabSwingers.com forum: Is being nice a weakness?

By *LDee2023 OP Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I wonder what people think? Is being a decent nice person seen as a weakness on Fab?

Do ladies prefer the bad boys ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

Anybody that buys into that whole bad boy bullshit needs to grow up and gain some intelligence. Being respectful , kind and well mannered towards other people isn’t a weakness is it !!!?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

No it's not a weakness.

It can be a strength if that's how you project yourself.

If you have to tell people you are a nice guy you are obviously projecting a different image and they see something that forces them to doubt the niceness.

Bad boys are usually just that. Boys who are bad.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *IG G77Man
over a year ago

GATLEY

No it's not a weakness to kind and well mannered its something people should practise more of doing rather than putting people down we should lift each other up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *evonrobMan
over a year ago

Kingsbridge

My personal rule on any form of social media is to never be unpleasant, no matter what the circumstances. If that is too nice then so be it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

Being nice is more attractive than being a c*** i mean who likes a crappy personality. Some people lack basic manners too, It costs nothing to have manners and be nice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Nope.

Thinking that being nice is a guarantee of or entitles you to anything is a weakness though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"No it's not a weakness to kind and well mannered its something people should practise more of doing rather than putting people down we should lift each other up "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course it isn't. It's just that a lot of 'nice' people aren't actually as nice as they think they are...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

It's all about balance. When it comes to 'being nice' what it boils down to is the trait agreeableness, which is one of the "Big Five" personality traits.

Too little agreeableness, mixed with too much condifence and you can come across as an arrogant dickhead. Too much agreeableness, however, mixed with not enough confidence, and you can come across as a spineless doormat. Neither extremes tend to be very attractive to women. What you need is the right balance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of course it isn't. It's just that a lot of 'nice' people aren't actually as nice as they think they are..."

I think even the nicest person can be unpleasant if persistently pushed or used by someone. I think I’m general most people aim to be decent people it’s just sometimes real life makes them break

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I think it depends on the intent.

Is someone being nice because they think that it gets them something?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of ladies like the idea of a bad boy, until they are on the receiving end of the bad..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Most women I know want a man with a bit of character. This doesn't mean bad, it certainly doesn't mean boy we mostly like men who know how to adult. It means (to me at least) a man who knows how to respect everyone who deserves it, doesn't think that being nice deserves a reward from women or their employer and has something interesting about him.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *as4121Man
over a year ago

dartford

It shouldn't be considered a weakness but many probably see it as one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

Sometimes people take advantage of people who are nice, which can make it look like a weakness.

But overall being nice is in no way a weakness, people who are genuinely kind of heart and intent are some of the strongest people, it's not always easy being nice but it is always the nice thing to do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"I think it depends on the intent.

Is someone being nice because they think that it gets them something?"
That's a great point!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As ThePumpkinJuggler said, it's a strength. Someone that's genuinely nice & kind overall, in the face of adversity, is truly amongst the strongest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anybody that buys into that whole bad boy bullshit needs to grow up and gain some intelligence. Being respectful , kind and well mannered towards other people isn’t a weakness is it !!!?

No its not! It's what we're looking for generally x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Assertive, confident, empathetic and courteous with compassion thrown in for good measure.

Being nice just seems to be a bit Blah ! And bad boy seems very adolescent.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

My favourite people are nice. They're also assholes who frustrate me, challenge me when I'm being out of line, have a sadistic streak that aligns well with my masochist one, amd tell jokes that would get them banned from public speaking.

But they're also honest, good, decent people.

People define nice in different ways. If someone is being nice because they think it'll get them something, if someone always agrees as if they don't have an opinion or a mind of their own, if someone has to proclaim how nice they are because they can't demonstrate it appropriately, then they're not nice people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a weakness but not too nice to the point that they wouldn't be a challenge for me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"No it's not a weakness.

It can be a strength if that's how you project yourself.

If you have to tell people you are a nice guy you are obviously projecting a different image and they see something that forces them to doubt the niceness.

Bad boys are usually just that. Boys who are bad. "

Yep pretty much this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire

Definitely not a weakness so much prefer someone with manners politeness etc

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

"No it's not a weakness.

It can be a strength if that's how you project yourself.

If you have to tell people you are a nice guy you are obviously projecting a different image and they see something that forces them to doubt the niceness.

Bad boys are usually just that. Boys who are bad. "
,, agree spot on..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aked2sumCouple
over a year ago

Coast

Just be polite and respectable and don’t be a sleaze bag . Definitely not a weakness

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Defenitley not a weakness. Nice if better than being an arse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lirtyAndFunCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Its the opposite, being rude is generally a sign of weakness.

Like when someone cant hold a conversation/argument without shouting or resorting to insults.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

taunton somerset

you can be nice and still not be attractive to the person your being nice to

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what people think? Is being a decent nice person seen as a weakness on Fab?

Do ladies prefer the bad boys ? "

Being nice is a huge plus for us. People who come across as genuine, chatty, friendly...these are the kinds of folk we would love to get to know. Not necessarily just for sexual adventures but just even for the sake of getting to know people on the same wavelength

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilad4kicksMan
over a year ago

Ashford

Mate carry on being yourself ! Nice guys are nice and don’t ever try to change who you are !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

Yes being nice is a weakness in the eyes of mist women

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Oh for gods sake!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

Different strokes for different folks!

some actually like the bad boys and some do not!

believe it or not, I consider myself reasonably nice, though slightly eccentric/quirky but have been refereed to as weird and dodgy!

I can not make people decide what they think of me! thats up to them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

how on earth can being nice be a weakness,, never heard of so much bull shit,,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on what you mean by nice, doesn’t it?

People can be nice, but still capable of being able to stand up for themselves and command respect.

Manners, empathy, compassion = hot

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

"It depends on what you mean by nice, doesn’t it?

People can be nice, but still capable of being able to stand up for themselves and command respect.

Manners, empathy, compassion = hot"
,, this,,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wingamajigsCouple
over a year ago

Folkestone

To quote The Smiths from I Know Its Over, "It takes strength to be gentle and kind

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people will see being nice as a sign weakness.

If you can spot those people and treat them accordingly then balance is achieved.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it's not a weakness to kind and well mannered its something people should practise more of doing rather than putting people down we should lift each other up "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It depends on what you mean by nice, doesn’t it?

People can be nice, but still capable of being able to stand up for themselves and command respect.

Manners, empathy, compassion = hot"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rhugesMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xposedInTheSunCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

Self-confidence definitely is attractive and in general people will put up with differing levels of selfishness to get it. Nobody wants selfishness but it's a price people will sometimes pay.

If you're a couple or single female on here, it's not a price you have to pay because there are so many options. If a guy comes across as at all selfish, you'll just choose one who isn't.

Single guys can't afford to be so choosy, so it's possible to be a selfish couple or woman and still swing.

So if you want to be successful as a single guy on here, be self-confident, unselfish, and willing to put up with how some couples and single women will treat you!

Not that I've ever tried it myself...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ainbows_can_be_metal_tooCouple
over a year ago

Darlington

No it's not a weakness.

As for women preferring bad boys, all women have different preferences. They arent sopy and paste people that have to be one or the other and sooner that blokes realise that there are full minds and personality in their heads the better

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you can be nice and still not be attractive to the person your being nice to"

This

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *moothshaftMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"you can be nice and still not be attractive to the person your being nice to"

Yep, agreed.

I think I'm one of those guys! X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aurus1987Man
over a year ago

York

"you can be nice and still not be attractive to the person your being nice to

This"

Agreed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Being nice isn't weakness... Expecting something for it is... Only being nice because of what you are expecting in return, is... Those are the "nice guys" that come last... If you are actually nice, nothing will change that, even not even getting the same in return...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

It can be to some but not everyone a degree of being nice and the purpose for it doesn't always go to plan...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Not at all, being a great compassionate loving human is a strength that the world needs more of. I think people often scapegoat being nice for their weaknesses, mistakes or lack of success in other areas to be fair.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

"Not at all, being a great compassionate loving human is a strength that the world needs more of. I think people often scapegoat being nice for their weaknesses, mistakes or lack of success in other areas to be fair."

Yes this, I'll hold my hands up here as I've been guilty of this in the past. Now I own it, it's who I am and if that gets me nowhere then I'm comfortable with that - we would probably not be compatible anyway

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being nice is a strength and a good characteristic to have.

Bad boys carry unresolved trauma and usually in some form of unhealthy drama.

Try not to compare yourself to toxic traits ...have a wonderful Sunday you are great as a nice person

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

Being nice is not a weakness being introverted is though. A lot of “nice guys” are generally introverted and struggle to display a confident tone in messaging, a cocky “bad boy” who is naturally extroverted displays confidence more naturally. Confidence is key and as a man on fab you have to stand out above the rest as only 5-10 % of men will meet regularly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

"I wonder what people think? Is being a decent nice person seen as a weakness on Fab?

Do ladies prefer the bad boys ? "

No lol

And

Some will do, many won't

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *LDee2023 OP Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"I wonder what people think? Is being a decent nice person seen as a weakness on Fab?

Do ladies prefer the bad boys ?

Mrs"

And that is what it's all about.This should be fun and with 'friends' it should be genuine and not forced and uncomplicated, and if it progresses to a "sexual adventure " then how much better is that sexual experience going to be..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

It depends, do you think being ‘nice’ entitles you to something?

There’s nothing wrong with being nice but it’s not going to get you laid if you don’t have something to go along with it.

Life isn’t a series of logical transactions where you are guaranteed, or ‘deserve’, a certain thing because you are nice. Women will be attracted to the charming and charismatic ’bad boy’ over a nice guy because he is charming and charismatic, not because he is a bad boy.

It’s possible to be charismatic, attractive and nice but simply being nice does not mean the other two follow along.

Men who put down the lack of interest in them to their being too nice are basically placing the blame on others for their failings.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder what people think? Is being a decent nice person seen as a weakness on Fab?

Do ladies prefer the bad boys ?

Mrs

Exactly, we've got to know some lovely people on here- some are now friends in real life as well as 'fab friends'

As you say it's uncomplicated, fun, and the boundaries are clear because we communicate openly

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

It s nice to be important but more important to be nice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

I’ve done ok on here and made some fantastic friends..

And I’m just nice.. nothing special

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being polite & respectful goes a long way..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

"I wonder what people think? Is being a decent nice person seen as a weakness on Fab?

Do ladies prefer the bad boys ? "

Being nice is only a weakness, when u let people take advantage of your nice nature e.g being a Simp

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread