FabSwingers.com forum: Bad experience

By *rPeachPiercedPrincess OP Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

If you go to a club event and it’s not to how you expect it to be, do you see it as a learning curve or would you take it as disappointment?

Last night myself and L had our first (I wouldn’t say bad) not to our taste event and it’s the first time we came home a lot earlier than we normally do. We are normally the couple that the staff always have to bang on the door to say it’s closing time. But no last night the event we went to wasn’t our cup of tea.

How do you guys take bad experiences?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Usually learn from it if we can. The couple of bad experiences we've had while swinging took a while to overcome but we knew what changes we needed to make afterwards.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Sorry to hear you’ve had a bad time.

Definitely a learning experience for me. I never go with any expectations so I’m never really disappointed.

It happened to me last week, just wasn’t feeling it and went home by midnight.

Many factors come to play: the day of the week, the crowd, the overall vibe, the mood.

Learning as I go along.

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By *rPeachPiercedPrincess OP Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

It is definitely a learning curve especially for me (MrPeach) since I’m relatively new to it all and I’ve not witnessed a few scenarios in the club so i definitely see it as a positive learning curve.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

I accepted how single guys are viewed in the club scene, so after several visits to different clubs, I now only visit clubs with a female play partner, or arrange to meet someone inside. It’s unlikely I will ever visit another club as a single guy

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By *rPeachPiercedPrincess OP Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

My hat goes off to single guys or even single women who go alone especially if I’m being honest because you have to have some balls to even try it. But the way I see it and it’s one of my biggest put offs is single men (yet to see single women do this) is walking round trying to put their dicks in women’s faces and touching people without asking. If you’re single male and in order to get some good attention surly you have to present yourself well and be polite and cheeky at the same time. But like you said if you can find a partner to go with it’s definitely a bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a bad play, put me off for quite a while, we talked it thru and put safe words and more rules in place. Sorry you had a bad experience x Gem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had a proper shitty experience at a club once upon a time.

it was just something i draw up to experience, and vowing to never do that part of it again.

it wasn't the club's fault, or mine, so it hasn't put me off venturing to clubs solo, or anything like that.

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By *_the_impalerMan
over a year ago

canterbury

Definitely a learning experience find the positives and negatives and try to see if you can change anything yourself or if it’s the club itself or guests and if it’s something that can be avoided in the future I.e theme night just pick a different night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just put bad experiences as to how it was on the night. Im lucky as a single man I haven't had many bad nights to speak of. I tend to stay up at the bar end and talk to as many people as I can instead of being one of the wanking dead that stalk couples or single females.

The only massively bad experience I've had was when I was essentially treated as a sex aid by the couple and they got mad when I wasn't hard immediately.

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By *rPeachPiercedPrincess OP Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

I know it was definitely down to the theme of the night I reckon but it’s definitely a learning curve and know to try different events. The club itself is brilliant and we love clubs UV theme. Just one bad night I hope.

But best way to describe most single guys are the wanking dead haha

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By *ottodot123Couple
over a year ago

Gillingham

Sorry to hear you had a bad experience OP.

We are very new. Only been to a club once. This thread has made me realise we probably need to put some kind of safe word system in place.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm not an advocate of safe words in a club or swap situation. They're so easily missed or misinterpreted. A straight out "stop" or "no" is what we've agreed on because anyone new you're playing with I'd going to understand that rather than some random word. In a social situation we've agreed to ask for five minutes private conversation if we need to say something we'd rather others didn't hear.

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By *ottodot123Couple
over a year ago

Gillingham

"I'm not an advocate of safe words in a club or swap situation. They're so easily missed or misinterpreted. A straight out "stop" or "no" is what we've agreed on because anyone new you're playing with I'd going to understand that rather than some random word. In a social situation we've agreed to ask for five minutes private conversation if we need to say something we'd rather others didn't hear. "

This is an excellent point thank you so much.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

This is an excellent point thank you so much."

You're welcome.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Put it down as a bad night and try to learn a lesson from it.

I remember going to a certain sauna and they were trying a new TV and admirer afternoon. When I went in I should’ve realised, when he told me I was the only TV in attendance, that a swift turn around would be a better idea. Instead I ended up locking myself in a room with half a dozen guys outside looking for the one TV in the sauna

Must admit it is a fantasy of mine but the reality was quite scary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about it was bad?

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge

Depending on what sort of bad my response may be;

Change my expectations going forward and learn to enjoy being there (wherever it is). Work out how i could have had a better time and commit to doing that next time.

Learn from it and work out how i would have liked to feel/ Behave in those circumstances (how to get out of the bad situation, how to let people down, gently or firmly as appropriate)

Work out how to avoid the situation altogether going forward if i decide thats the way to go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've had quite a few in our 10yrs of club and home meets. Most of the club meets have been decent lessons in knowing when it's awkward and to evacuate however our first bad home meet before Christmas put us off for quite a while until now.

Mrsfox still uncomfortable with inviting gents over due to one nasty guy sadly. We hope to be back in the mood for it eventually soon. Xx

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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago

just somewhere around here

We went to a club on a Sat night once and it wasn't a bad experience as such but, the people there were just so much older and very clicky. The vibe was awful, so we just left early. We prefer going to bi nights now as we feel the people are more like us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s really important not to explain away crappy behaviour as just a bad experience or something to learn from. Of course everyone will have different tolerances in such a situation but ask yourself the question whether you’d like someone else to have to deal with what you had. If not you have to tell someone and never feel guilty about it or think you’re making a fuss

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By *rPeachPiercedPrincess OP Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

I think it was the crowd of people and the type of theme that didn’t do anything for us in the end and the amount of SM to couple ratio too or even SF it was a massive difference… I know you see it but not a massive fan of the wanking dead (best way to describe them by far haha)

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