FabSwingers.com forum: What are we doing wrong?

By *urioustwo123 OP Couple
over a year ago

haywards heath

We have been to clubs, talked to people but just not clicked. Do we need a different approach? Are socials or small parties a better way to get started. We are not really social animals, it’s more about having sex, is that wrong?

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

When you go to clubs, are you going to specific nights? Which clubs are you going to? When do you arrive (ie what time after opening)

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

No wrong or right way and all about what you feel comfortble doing ?? and we personally prefer a small partie/social ( reason we do them) as easier to talk to people but others don't ?? and if you are just after sex it should be easier but a fair few like some kind of connection and our outlook is if you are just after sex you soon run out of people willing to have sex with and you attract those who just want sex then move on ? especially where we live and it's hard to get meets anyway no mater what you are after ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have been to clubs, talked to people but just not clicked. Do we need a different approach? Are socials or small parties a better way to get started. We are not really social animals, it’s more about having sex, is that wrong?"

It's about what YOU want so theres no wrong or right way. If you've not clicked it's just because uve not clicked lol it's not felt right that's all. everyone cant be everyones cup of tea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you done any socials? Sometimes it does take time.

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By *urioustwo123 OP Couple
over a year ago

haywards heath

We have mainly gone on theme nights, arriving perhaps an hour into the party, been mainly to Pleasures. We are not big drinkers which seems to make a difference.

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By *urioustwo123 OP Couple
over a year ago

haywards heath

No, think that’s perhaps what we need to do, smaller groups.

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

Similar here. I'm not one for the social partty side of clubs

I'm there to play and have fun

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"We have mainly gone on theme nights, arriving perhaps an hour into the party, been mainly to Pleasures. We are not big drinkers which seems to make a difference."

Not been to Pleasures to can't comment on that particular club. However, so of the best nights I've had at clubs with my husband have happened just by joining others in a large room.

We don't drink much at all, and I find the smell of cigarette smoke a huge turn off. I find not being drinkers isn't an issue but a surprising number of swinging club goers smoke, which is a shame.

Ultimately, there's no guarantee of hitting it off, so we just go with the intention of having a fun night and sex together, if nothing else.

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By *irty-pairCouple
over a year ago

South Essex

We’ve found the less pressure we put on ourselves, the more fun we’ve had. That’s why we enjoy Kestrels so much - we love just floating around in the pool and hot tubs. It’s a different mindset from a lot of places in our opinion x

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

When you day you haven’t clicked, what do you mean?

What is it that you are expecting or hoping that you are not getting?

Its hard to give advice without knowing what it is that you feel isn’t there.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

not all swingers do socials or clubs a massive part of the scene just do spontaneous meets where a quick chat and get down to fun..

what you see on the forums is not the norm most swingers dont do socials dont do clubs alot do as above or dogging or other ways no way is wrong its just finding your way

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By *heeseandWineCouple
over a year ago

Reading and Southampton

"We’ve found the less pressure we put on ourselves, the more fun we’ve had. That’s why we enjoy Kestrels so much - we love just floating around in the pool and hot tubs. It’s a different mindset from a lot of places in our opinion x"
BGHS in Brighton is similar and not far from West Sussex if you haven't already been there

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By *aked2sumCouple
over a year ago

Coast

Not wrong each to their own but we’re more about the socials and no pressure from anyone then any sex is a bonus . Seems to work ok for us

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By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham

Hopefully going to Kestrels and BGHS in a couple of weeks’ time…good to know they’re such lovely recommended places

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By *haringiscaring1980sCouple
over a year ago

Kettering

We love having fun but part of that fun for us is the interaction with the couple. Sometimes we meet the funniest / nicest couple and love their company clothed and naked. If they can make us laugh / smile relax….

Other times it’s just raw sexual attraction depending on the night / drinks / atmosphere.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You're not wrong. The small private parties we've been to have been social initially but very quickly turned sexual. Have you considered hosting?

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By *entlemanPMan
over a year ago

Grantham

As a single man and also been to clubs as a couple with a fwb it can depend on the club. We went to a few lre arranged nights and it was very cliquey. Been to other non pre arranged both with fwb and as a single man and it was much better. I found a float in the pool and a chat was a good start and lead to more x

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By *ubcup2Couple
over a year ago

London

Don't worry too much if parties don't seem to be the place for you.

They weren't for us, and for similar reasons as yourself.

Just try different things, never feel pressured by any scenario, and have fun.

If it's not enjoyable then stop.

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By *amesnplanesMan
over a year ago

Banbridge

"We’ve found the less pressure we put on ourselves, the more fun we’ve had. That’s why we enjoy Kestrels so much - we love just floating around in the pool and hot tubs. It’s a different mindset from a lot of places in our opinion xBGHS in Brighton is similar and not far from West Sussex if you haven't already been there

I'll also suggest perhaps you consider a day out to Brighton's BGHS. Read up on the club reviews first, as they have a very strict "no touching" policy everywhere except the rest rooms on the 2nd floor.

Likewise, Kestrels is likewise a brilliant venue - just warmer waters than the cold plunge pools in Brighton!

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