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Advice for newbie single ladies

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By *erIndoors OP   Woman
over a year ago

Essex

Hi, new here and looking for advice anyone could give me to meet safely and what its like for single ladies to go to socials, clubs and other venues like spas etc.

I'm very inexperienced in this side of things although ive always been open minded and am playing away without his knowledge. I totally appreciate that this isnt for everyone, i have my reasons but this isnt therapy.

As you can imagine, i havent been short of offers in my circs even without public pics but how do i stay safe and what could i expect from a club environment if i get brave enough to go alone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try to talk through WhatsApp first or telegram or any app that allows you to verify via cam that they are who they say they are.

Meet in a public place

Inform your friend that you are on a meet and that if they don’t hear from you, they can go to the police.

Always a social first.

French letters are necessary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/23 13:02:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[Removed by poster at 26/01/23 13:02:05]"

Yes you are right. WhatsApp wasn’t the best option.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try to talk through WhatsApp first or telegram or any app that allows you to verify via cam that they are who they say they are.

Meet in a public place

Inform your friend that you are on a meet and that if they don’t hear from you, they can go to the police.

Always a social first.

French letters are necessary "

Personally, wouldn't use WhatsApp, as once they have a mobile number it's so much easier to find you on other social media platforms if your settings allow x

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By *ndentMan
over a year ago

Melton Mowbray

So my wife and I play separately and whenever she's meeting someone for the forst time it is always

Some sort of live video chat first.

Then,

A public place

Day time if possible

Orders her own drink and drops in that she's meeting someone for a first date so staff are vaguely aware.

Has an excuse ready in case she wants to get out of it.

I hope some of that helps.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

my advice for a woman is always use the tools of fab to communicate do not use apps phones email web cam fab provides the tools for this to work ..

your always right dont let others tell you different ..you are you and you are always right dont move a inch from your rules , wants , likes and most of all dont trust anyone until they have earned it ..

this is thee most important advice that goes with the dont trust anyone your safety your number one priority is your safety keep your self safe at all times socials in area's that are busy at that time of day have a friend if poss you can text saying where your going and who with (not easy) there are bad apples on the swinging scene as with anywhere else but what makes it worse is they are sexually charged ...so safety first ..

talk to other women and women only and get to find out how they play how they suss out the rotten / bad / messers / wanking ...its not easy but get it right and there is lots of fun to be had ..just be aware your rules your body your life ..you owe nobody anything and everyuthing has to be consented ..

dont be down about what i just wrote as it seems all doom n gloom lol its not but you have to look after yourself

we all play differently so other women will say differently speak to other women find out more leave the men and couples out of it until you decide how your going to do things..

ps the only reason i say speak to women only is most not all couples profiles are run by men you need advice of women

psps also be aware that many womens profiles are not women they are in fact men wanking/trolling/up to no good

#justmyopinion

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By *irty-pairCouple
over a year ago

South Essex


"Hi, new here and looking for advice anyone could give me to meet safely and what its like for single ladies to go to socials, clubs and other venues like spas etc.

I'm very inexperienced in this side of things although ive always been open minded and am playing away without his knowledge. I totally appreciate that this isnt for everyone, i have my reasons but this isnt therapy.

As you can imagine, i havent been short of offers in my circs even without public pics but how do i stay safe and what could i expect from a club environment if i get brave enough to go alone? "

Meeting in a public place is always a good idea, but your circumstances might make that tricky with the risk of being spotted. We’d recommend a well run club to anyone, especially newbies.

We’re members of Kestrels/AbFabs and have been really impressed with how it’s run. The number of single women who attend is testament to that. Its members only and not the cheapest, which probably s out some of the chancers and it’s opening hours might appeal to you too. We really enjoy it there.

Good luck, and drop us a DM if you need any more advice, OP

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

oh forgot club environment for you would be great then you can talk to other women and couples face to face all clubs are friendly (you may get the odd little group who are not mind you) you also get to see the behaviour of men in clubs from those who enjoy swinging to those who walk around wanking aka the wanking dead

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By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago

Worcestershire

Some great advice already.

Always go at your own pace and enjoy x

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By *inkyBiBlackMaleMan
over a year ago

London

Agreed, telegram would be the best and safest option to chat online.


"Try to talk through WhatsApp first or telegram or any app that allows you to verify via cam that they are who they say they are.

Meet in a public place

Inform your friend that you are on a meet and that if they don’t hear from you, they can go to the police.

Always a social first.

French letters are necessary

Personally, wouldn't use WhatsApp, as once they have a mobile number it's so much easier to find you on other social media platforms if your settings allow x"

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich


"Agreed, telegram would be the best and safest option to chat online.

Try to talk through WhatsApp first or telegram or any app that allows you to verify via cam that they are who they say they are.

Meet in a public place

Inform your friend that you are on a meet and that if they don’t hear from you, they can go to the police.

Always a social first.

French letters are necessary

Personally, wouldn't use WhatsApp, as once they have a mobile number it's so much easier to find you on other social media platforms if your settings allow x"

In my experience, the single guys that want to chat on another platform are most likely to just want a fantasy wank. The genuine ones will be happy to arrange a meet through here.

Clubs are fantastic for single women. If they are aware it’s your first time they will usually look after you until you find your feet.

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By *erIndoors OP   Woman
over a year ago

Essex

This is great, thanks so much for taking the time.

I love the idea of going to somewhere like kestrals/abfab or i think Monkey Business is the only club in essex i could go to. Would it be odd for me to go along somewhere like this to find my feet (and maybe a bit of confidence!) Without intending to play?

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.


"my advice for a woman is always use the tools of fab to communicate do not use apps phones email web cam fab provides the tools for this to work ..

your always right dont let others tell you different ..you are you and you are always right dont move a inch from your rules , wants , likes and most of all dont trust anyone until they have earned it ..

this is thee most important advice that goes with the dont trust anyone your safety your number one priority is your safety keep your self safe at all times socials in area's that are busy at that time of day have a friend if poss you can text saying where your going and who with (not easy) there are bad apples on the swinging scene as with anywhere else but what makes it worse is they are sexually charged ...so safety first ..

talk to other women and women only and get to find out how they play how they suss out the rotten / bad / messers / wanking ...its not easy but get it right and there is lots of fun to be had ..just be aware your rules your body your life ..you owe nobody anything and everyuthing has to be consented ..

dont be down about what i just wrote as it seems all doom n gloom lol its not but you have to look after yourself

we all play differently so other women will say differently speak to other women find out more leave the men and couples out of it until you decide how your going to do things..

ps the only reason i say speak to women only is most not all couples profiles are run by men you need advice of women

psps also be aware that many womens profiles are not women they are in fact men wanking/trolling/up to no good

#justmyopinion"

Good advice above

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

Go to a club to start but go on couples and single female days then you know your not going to be overrun with guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is great, thanks so much for taking the time.

I love the idea of going to somewhere like kestrals/abfab or i think Monkey Business is the only club in essex i could go to. Would it be odd for me to go along somewhere like this to find my feet (and maybe a bit of confidence!) Without intending to play?"

Absolutely not. Always remember, if you don't want to do anything, regardless of where you are or who you are with, no means no.

Lots of people go to clubs and don't play x

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By *erIndoors OP   Woman
over a year ago

Essex

Brilliant, thanks so much. Whole new world to navigate.

Shopping trip next!

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By *irty-pairCouple
over a year ago

South Essex


"This is great, thanks so much for taking the time.

I love the idea of going to somewhere like kestrals/abfab or i think Monkey Business is the only club in essex i could go to. Would it be odd for me to go along somewhere like this to find my feet (and maybe a bit of confidence!) Without intending to play?"

Everyone had to start somewhere in this lifestyle, and generally speaking we’re a pretty decent bunch. Our advice would be to pop along to a club with an open mind and see how you get on. You wouldn’t be the first person to make their excuses for an early exit! Let us know how you get on x

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Be prepared if he finds out.

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