FabSwingers.com forum: Rekindle Sex Drive

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Im guessing amongst the posts on here someone will have already raised this question so appologies in advance, however Ive been in my relationship for 6 years and to begin with the sex was amasing, which i know is the norm, but now its rubbish, if it happens, which is rare its rubbish. Does anyone have any tips how to spice it back up as im a true believer that a healthy sex drive is important to any relationship

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Do you know why it's rubbish?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Whys it rubbish?

Is it the amount of times you get it, or the general sex rubbish?

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry rubbish may not be the right word, however there is no real build up of excitement to it, it happens but is pretty much missionary and done, roll over and get on with the day, or go to sleep. Its as though the sexual connection has gone. Ive tried to speak to her about it, but she still says shes attractes to me etc. I guess for a man, and a women its a feeling of not being wanted that causes anxiety

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By *ixie and dixie2022Couple
over a year ago

villiage

As the song goes it takes two step back and look at what can be done to improve it and think about alot of people have a sexless relationship.

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By *fter dinner delightCouple
over a year ago

bury st edmunds/london

Talk talk talk.

Ask your partner this question say your true feelings. And say you miss it with them and see what happens. If they say there not interested in sex or making love you have two options toys or find it elsewhere but last choice is risky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have date nights

Weekends away

Make time for each other

And fuck her like you want her and don't forget the passionate kiss

If you don't someone else will

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By *ootnootboopCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Have date nights

Weekends away

Make time for each other

And fuck her like you want her and don't forget the passionate kiss

If you don't someone else will "

I'd agree with the majority of this advice...

But also check in with your wife regarding her mental health, stress and emotions. Also worth thinking if any medication she is on is tanking her sex drive, antidepressants are noted for this! Also around the time of the menopause can affect things too.

These kind of things need a sensitive, frank and mature conversation between you both. It may take time, and you might not get that original sex life back, but it's highly likely some improvement can be had!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for the responses. Im never expecting it to go back to how it was at the start as literally we would rip each others clothes off and do it wherever the mood took. Its just difficult as for me sex is important in a healthy relationship and lack of it makes me insecure and drives me anxiety crazy. We hardly kiss either now which annoys me, i joked the other night and said we should be mates as thats the relationship we have

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Do you perhaps need to adjust your expectations regarding the sex between you?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Thank you for the responses. Im never expecting it to go back to how it was at the start as literally we would rip each others clothes off and do it wherever the mood took. Its just difficult as for me sex is important in a healthy relationship and lack of it makes me insecure and drives me anxiety crazy. We hardly kiss either now which annoys me, i joked the other night and said we should be mates as thats the relationship we have "

It's difficult when a relationship looses it's spark, you need to sit and talk and start again to get it back, you've probably both gotten comfortable, take her on a date, treat her to her favourite treat, just pinch her ass in the kitchen, there's probably so many things you both used to do, little things in the day that build up to sex that you don't do anymore.

If you want that spark back you have to find it.

Mrs

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By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

It might sound weird but try stop having sex. Instead have plenty of cuddles, kisses and just be together with no pressure to take it all the way. Lay in each others arms and take time for yourselves to chat, talk to each other and have time for yourselves. If things come up then be patient and listen to each other, maybe explore each others wants, both sexual and non sexual,and just enjoy the time have together.

Try going to bed say 10 or 20 minutes earlier so have that extra cuddles before going to sleep, try doing it in the dark so neither needs to be embarrassed by the others ideas or their problems or wishes.

Hope this helps in some ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry rubbish may not be the right word, however there is no real build up of excitement to it, it happens but is pretty much missionary and done, roll over and get on with the day, or go to sleep. Its as though the sexual connection has gone. Ive tried to speak to her about it, but she still says shes attractes to me etc. I guess for a man, and a women its a feeling of not being wanted that causes anxiety "

Does she know you're on here?

Do you have kids?

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