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Mixed feelings

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just looking for advice I have always had strong feelings to my girlfriend even though we have been through lots of ups and downs to say the least but after making my feelings know to her that when it comes to are sex life i feel like I’m always the one how shows my attraction to her starting sex etc but I’m unsure how to feel as she doesn’t show me the same interest she won’t start or show she signs when she is horny but at the same time won’t ever turn me down when I feel the mood to have sex etc things have not changed after expressing my feelings to her like I worry she isn’t attracted to me or doesn’t share the same sex drive I don’t know how to deal with this as like I said when I start it’s no problem but she doesn’t start or come on to me!! It’s driving me crazy

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Is she only agreeing to sex because you want it so she's giving you the pleasure you want and you thinking she must want it because she's going along with it

Maybe ask her what she enjoys sexual

One of my ex's was like this like it was me making the effort whilst she just laid back even to the point getting on top off me so I put my foot down and said unless she made an effort neither of us will be getting any

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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire


"Just looking for advice I have always had strong feelings to my girlfriend even though we have been through lots of ups and downs to say the least but after making my feelings know to her that when it comes to are sex life i feel like I’m always the one how shows my attraction to her starting sex etc but I’m unsure how to feel as she doesn’t show me the same interest she won’t start or show she signs when she is horny but at the same time won’t ever turn me down when I feel the mood to have sex etc things have not changed after expressing my feelings to her like I worry she isn’t attracted to me or doesn’t share the same sex drive I don’t know how to deal with this as like I said when I start it’s no problem but she doesn’t start or come on to me!! It’s driving me crazy "

Depends how old your gf is but hormones, menapauses, or just not thinking of sex

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Have a chat with her, explain how you feel and encourage her to explain how she feels.

Does she know about your profile on here? I'm not bothered whether she does or not

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

She is 35 and I understand her not having a high sex drive but I’d show a lot of appreciation if she made any effort once to show me she is still attracted to me it just makes me over think things not that she is getting it elsewhere just mixed feelings on how she feels towards me and I have mentioned this to her but I’m still in the same boat

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"She is 35 and I understand her not having a high sex drive but I’d show a lot of appreciation if she made any effort once to show me she is still attracted to me it just makes me over think things not that she is getting it elsewhere just mixed feelings on how she feels towards me and I have mentioned this to her but I’m still in the same boat "

Try doing something romantic surprise her see where it leads

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

When you've talked to her about this, what did she say? Has your relationship always been like this or has it slipped to this point after your 'ups and downs'?

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

If she's your current girlfriend, isn't it fair to assume that she is still attracted to you?

Not everything in a relationship has to be about the sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There is never any problem with romance if I hint or initiate any kind of intimacy she never turns me down I just don’t get the same feeling shown in return she won’t put the moves on me if you get what I mean and it’s really makes me over think does she have the same feelings for me as I do for her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sit her down and say how you want a frank honest and open conversation. Explain how you feel and take the time to listen to her too. Stay calm and both talk honestly about feelings. Honest communication is the only thing that will sort issues out in a relationship. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yes the relationship is just about sex your right but j just physically showing some sort of physical attraction we are fine otherwise and I feel it has taken some time for me to notice as I have always been the one with the higher sex drive so yeah and when I have told her how I feel about this she just agrees and says she will make more of an effort but that seems to slip away very fast or not manifest at all so I know she loves me but I’m so confused to why she struggles to show sexual attraction!!!

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"There is never any problem with romance if I hint or initiate any kind of intimacy she never turns me down I just don’t get the same feeling shown in return she won’t put the moves on me if you get what I mean and it’s really makes me over think does she have the same feelings for me as I do for her"

My ex was just like this but things did change we used to share a bath I'd even wake up with her giving me a BJ but was more than just the sex

So maybe ask her how she feels about you what she admires about you but also what she doesn't like remember make it sound funny

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"There is never any problem with romance if I hint or initiate any kind of intimacy she never turns me down I just don’t get the same feeling shown in return she won’t put the moves on me if you get what I mean and it’s really makes me over think does she have the same feelings for me as I do for her"

Does she show you she finds you attractive in other ways, does she wear clothes she knows you like for instance, stroke your arm, small signs like that?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If I hint to her she will wear sexy items if I sit next to her she has no problem and is confident and comfortable with me but no subtle hints if I hug her she hugs back etc are usual day by day is great just not feeling like she has ever been confident enough to come on to me or show she is in the mood etc she lots her v at a young age she had a very difficult upbringing with older siblings we have had lots of ups and downs and worked though a lot together but this has worried me even after making my feelings know I can’t seem to brake the routine she has fallen into

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Remember their is more to a relationship than just sex this is something you need to grasp as well just because you have a high level and she doesn't you'll need to respect this gradually things can change but don't force it as it'll seem just one way the bedroom is a bonus part of a relationship and everything outside of it needs to be just as good if not million times better

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Is it possible she feels pestered for sex?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Communication is your solution. You need to keep talking, so that you both share what you need and understand each other.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We are grate together are relationship even the sex it’s more I love to make her feel sexy show her how much I’m attracted to her it would be nice to be shown the same feelings off her own back not just excepting the feeling show from me

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Try going to bed without any sex and just cuddles and maybe kissing but nothing else

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England

Does she know you're on here? Are you really interested in her as a person or just want sex? Maybe she just feels used or vulnerable if she doesn't go along with what you want.

You say you're honest on your profile; are you being honest with her (and yourself for that matter)

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"We are grate together are relationship even the sex it’s more I love to make her feel sexy show her how much I’m attracted to her it would be nice to be shown the same feelings off her own back not just excepting the feeling show from me "

But it's you giving her hints what you like to see her wear let her decide naturally she may surprise you in her own way

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I will try that and I’ll restrict my advances and go for the more soft approach and see if she can brake this cycle thanks

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By *ornynorfolkguyMan
over a year ago

North Norfolk

Talk to her rather than strangers on the internet.

She should be your focus.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am taking to her I have had more than a few conversations with her about how I feel and as a couple we are working together to figure things out I thank everybody for the advice as all the ups and downs we have had I’m sure we will figure this out as well thanks again everyone

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't know her or you but sometimes if a woman feels that showing her partner affection means he thinks she wants sex she will stop showing affection because sometimes she just wants a cuddle.

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By *ornynorfolkguyMan
over a year ago

North Norfolk


"I don't know her or you but sometimes if a woman feels that showing her partner affection means he thinks she wants sex she will stop showing affection because sometimes she just wants a cuddle."

^This!!

She needs to be put first rather than one getting ones end away.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset


"I don't know her or you but sometimes if a woman feels that showing her partner affection means he thinks she wants sex she will stop showing affection because sometimes she just wants a cuddle."

this is spot on affection is not a key to sex affection is love trust security and yes lust but not on its own ...

im could be whats considered sex mad

but i crave all the other stuff and i get it by the truck load with my husband and i give it back ....i could give up sex just for those things thats what makes me and my husband so strong

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"I will try that and I’ll restrict my advances and go for the more soft approach and see if she can brake this cycle thanks "

It could be just you that needs to change relax a bit take few steps back enjoy things without any sex go to bed without any sex just spooning

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

plus just read your profile and your actively looking for fun ?? not judging but ???

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By *ndiiiMan
over a year ago

Paisley Scotland


"Is she only agreeing to sex because you want it so she's giving you the pleasure you want and you thinking she must want it because she's going along with it

Maybe ask her what she enjoys sexual

One of my ex's was like this like it was me making the effort whilst she just laid back even to the point getting on top off me so I put my foot down and said unless she made an effort neither of us will be getting any "

So you did,and you didnt so shes an ex lol

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Is she only agreeing to sex because you want it so she's giving you the pleasure you want and you thinking she must want it because she's going along with it

Maybe ask her what she enjoys sexual

One of my ex's was like this like it was me making the effort whilst she just laid back even to the point getting on top off me so I put my foot down and said unless she made an effort neither of us will be getting any

So you did,and you didnt so shes an ex lol"

We were both on rations but sex wasn't important to me and she's an ex because I guess she eventually found her high sex drive and we did have a mutual understanding it was more what we both wanted I never did anything she wasn't comfortable with we talked about everything always feelings and were pretty kinky outside but she drove me insane her and alcohol so I left and she wanted an open relationship we were engaged so I said good luck with that and moved on

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By *eatcrusadersCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Just looking for advice I have always had strong feelings to my girlfriend even though we have been through lots of ups and downs to say the least but after making my feelings know to her that when it comes to are sex life i feel like I’m always the one how shows my attraction to her starting sex etc but I’m unsure how to feel as she doesn’t show me the same interest she won’t start or show she signs when she is horny but at the same time won’t ever turn me down when I feel the mood to have sex etc things have not changed after expressing my feelings to her like I worry she isn’t attracted to me or doesn’t share the same sex drive I don’t know how to deal with this as like I said when I start it’s no problem but she doesn’t start or come on to me!! It’s driving me crazy "

I had a partner like this, when we first got together we were screwing everywhere, but after a couple of years she didn’t instigate the sex at all. I reacted like you and got a bit frustrated, it was the wrong way tk react and I regret it.

Putting pressure on her to show her feelings won’t help, either will constantly expressing your love. She just doesn’t respond like you do or how you understand. You have to find what makes her tick.

Patience is the only solution. What turns her on is probably not what you expect and definitely doesn’t seem to be you expressing your love through words.

I dunno. Have you tried romantic meals, you cook at home with candles and roses or take her out somewhere special. Don’t expect sex as a reward, just focus on treating her special and making her feel like number 1 and your super hot girl without saying it to her.

You could schedule your sex, she might find it a turn on that you do it no matter what every Tuesday. My wife loves this, I don’t get it.

I don’t know much about your relationship, but where there is a will, there is a way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"plus just read your profile and your actively looking for fun ?? not judging but ???"

Also actively avoiding answering if his partner knows about his profile.

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

[Removed by poster at 11/01/23 03:04:10]

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

It says on your profile your an honest person, clearly not if your on here looking for fun,

Is there a chance that she knows your potentially being unfaithful and she is worried about the consequences if she confronts you?

I can't help but feel this is very much a me me post, you need to try and focus on your girlfriend and work out what she wants...I'm not being shitty, just giving you my honest opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you both have kids? This will play a factor as time gets taken up and you get tired and less in the mood

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By *9Karm69Man
over a year ago

plymouth/chesterfield

Your open & honest, so have you told her that your on Fab and play away

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

I remember reading about a couple who were trying to revive their sex drives. They had this deck of cards with things like 'he initiates, She initiates, Oral Only, Handjob Only, No Sex massage, romantic bath' etc.. They'd draw 7 cards on a Sunday and that would dictate their week.

It took all the pressure off the relationship and there was always the option to skip a turn if they didn't want to. I'm sure they only did this for a month or so before their sex drives took off naturally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you both on fab? Or does she allow you to play? If not, likelihood is, she probably knows you’re up to something.

If not, it’s possible that showing attraction is a struggle for her. Some women just don’t show it as well as others or don’t feel comfortable making the first move.

Speak to her again, or try as above said, the game sounds a great way to start some fun

Mrs

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West


"It says on your profile your an honest person, clearly not if your on here looking for fun,

Is there a chance that she knows your potentially being unfaithful and she is worried about the consequences if she confronts you?

I can't help but feel this is very much a me me post, you need to try and focus on your girlfriend and work out what she wants...I'm not being shitty, just giving you my honest opinion. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is never any problem with romance if I hint or initiate any kind of intimacy she never turns me down I just don’t get the same feeling shown in return she won’t put the moves on me if you get what I mean and it’s really makes me over think does she have the same feelings for me as I do for her"

Has she ever initiated sex?

Does she know you have a profile on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know her or you but sometimes if a woman feels that showing her partner affection means he thinks she wants sex she will stop showing affection because sometimes she just wants a cuddle."

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Does she know your on fab looking for sex?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

To all people asking yes she knows about any meets or anything going on with my profile on fab I have one verified meet as we had a brief break as I’ve said ups and downs but work though those kind of thinks she is great I have the profile and she knows I like talking to like minded people and the forums and if I have anyone looking for more than that I tell her firstly before following up etc but thanks for all your concerns

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To all people asking yes she knows about any meets or anything going on with my profile on fab I have one verified meet as we had a brief break as I’ve said ups and downs but work though those kind of thinks she is great I have the profile and she knows I like talking to like minded people and the forums and if I have anyone looking for more than that I tell her firstly before following up etc but thanks for all your concerns "

Perhaps she thinks she's not sexy enough for you if you need to chat to other people. She might not actually be ok with it but says it's ok because she doesn't want to lose you.

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By *as2cheatMan
over a year ago

harrow

Sometimes you fall in love with someone you are not sexually compatible with unfortunately

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By *irkby coupleCouple
over a year ago

Kirkby

Why not do what she does.

Show her as much attention as she shows you, both inside and outside the bedroom. Wait until she bring it up.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"Why not do what she does.

Show her as much attention as she shows you, both inside and outside the bedroom. Wait until she bring it up."

That's really petty

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Why not do what she does.

Show her as much attention as she shows you, both inside and outside the bedroom. Wait until she bring it up."

It would be interesting if he showed her the *same* type of attention that she shows him. Who knows, they both might learn something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m afraid my ex never initiated any intimacy other than when we were trying for our children and then it felt I was no more than a delivery system .

Her sisters husband ,says it’s exactly the same for him , I just think some women just don’t want it and get their emotional and cuddles from their girlfriends . We as guys (op and me for definite) would just like to feel desired in the carnell sense. In my case it made me feel a bit of a pervert as it was always me trying to get things started !

……sorry if that was a bit heavy , but felt good putting it in to words

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Billy Connolly said an interesting thing the other day. 'women need to feel loved to have sex, men need to have sex to feel loved '.

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By *ab FunstersCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Perhaps she knows you are on here and is inwardly angry with you which would put the brakes on how she feels.

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