FabSwingers.com forum: Sex

By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

From my experience, when I tell a guy I didn't like what they doing to me during sex, they seem to get in a mood and it stifles the session. Any way of this not happening? I try to be positive about it and continue to caress them etc but it seems they just get too upset about it....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's an ego thing with them

So it is like a kick in their knackers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cherry blossom if they get the hump if there doing it wrong you may have just picked the wrong type of guy, it should always be about your pleasure and not about the male ego only other thing I could think of is talking about what you like or don't like beforehand.

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By *ayna20Couple
over a year ago

Kent

Interested to know if there’s any age pattern to this?

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Interested to know if there’s any age pattern to this?"

No idea don't think so...but I never been with anyone older than 40 lol

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Cherry blossom if they get the hump if there doing it wrong you may have just picked the wrong type of guy, it should always be about your pleasure and not about the male ego only other thing I could think of is talking about what you like or don't like beforehand. "

Story of my life

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I think it's an ego thing with them

So it is like a kick in their knackers

It's definitely an ego thing. Most of the time, I grin and bear it and never return into their arms lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's an ego thing with them

So it is like a kick in their knackers

It's definitely an ego thing. Most of the time, I grin and bear it and never return into their arms lol"

You state that you have never been with anyone older than 40

This is a thing you could try as men mature much later than us and are not quite as sensitive

As they get older

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I think it's an ego thing with them

So it is like a kick in their knackers

It's definitely an ego thing. Most of the time, I grin and bear it and never return into their arms lol

You state that you have never been with anyone older than 40

This is a thing you could try as men mature much later than us and are not quite as sensitive

As they get older "

I never met any man over 40 I found physically attracted to, I do look though. Most men my age usually look knackered lol. I look and act at least 10 years younger. Think that's why I like younger men...soft skin and muscles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cherry blossom if they get the hump if there doing it wrong you may have just picked the wrong type of guy, it should always be about your pleasure ……."

Should it?

Op. Just once someone told me they didn’t like something, it was a personal preference of third. She explained why I I then understood. It didn’t flatten the mood at all, because we talked about it.

Maybe those type of guys that can’t understand you are not for you.

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By *lackjack5540Man
over a year ago

Wesely Chapel

I don't know I would like to be told if the other person didn't like a certain position or a certain thing. Even in the middle so we can find or do something more enjoyable for the both of us

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"From my experience, when I tell a guy I didn't like what they doing to me during sex, they seem to get in a mood and it stifles the session. Any way of this not happening? I try to be positive about it and continue to caress them etc but it seems they just get too upset about it....

If it’s happening a lot then you might just be attracted to the ego driven/insecure type.

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By *evonrobMan
over a year ago

Kingsbridge

Think you should give an older man a go! But I would say that at my advanced years!

R xx

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By *unthum62Man
over a year ago

Benidorm

Well my view is there was a learning opportunity wasted for those guys.

Everyone is different and what floats one partners boat is not certain to be fun or exciting for another.

Sticking to the same script and getting pissed when somebody doesn't like your style seems odd.

How about. "Sorry, thats not working for me, but if you were to... add ideas you like."

Isn't it meant to fun for everyone?.

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By *ed MartinMan
over a year ago

Shefford

Prevention is better than cure? Maybe don’t wait until after their performance to get the score cards out; nobody enjoys being critiqued even if you don’t have an ego the size of the planet! Instead, try guiding them to do what you do enjoy during the act. It could be a subtle “I love it when you…” or you could let your inner dominatrix out and be more assertive about it- whatever you think will work for them/you.

But yeah…if they aren’t picking up the clues that their efforts are boring the tits off you, and they aren’t going to take kindly to this sort of feedback, fuck em…don’t fuck them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any guy that acts this way doesjt deserve ur bpdy in the first pkace . Sex is a two way thing and i enjoy asking or beijg told what my sexual partner wants for me as i last a ling time andntake a while to cum i make it my purpose to find oit how she likes things so she climaxs a few times before i can .. also any man that thinks he doesnt need guidence now and then are up their own asses cause no one fully knows exaclty how they partner enjoys sex without being told now and then x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing upsets me about sex any more. Tell me the truth and I'll appreciate you more. We live to learn and learn to live.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interested to know if there’s any age pattern to this?

No idea don't think so...but I never been with anyone older than 40 lol"

You should try one day, today can be your day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wink wink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some guys can’t take they ego out off it

Need to find someone who isn’t afraid to learn

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By *oungalpha20Man
over a year ago

North West /Cumbria

I'm always up for criticism. You don't know what they like until they tell you.

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By *actilenorfolkgentMan
over a year ago

Norwich

For me its always been about mutual fulfilment, Im more than happy for the lady to say what she likes,

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

I would rather be told if I’m not turning her on so can get I correct she must enjoy the sex

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We would advise that before sex you have a little chat about what you both like and don't like, it will make for a better experience for both of you. No need to be shy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It wouldn't bother me. I like to make my partner feel special and by making her happy makes me feel good too. If you don't like it girl then tell him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Distraction technique.... Don't say anything negative just direct them to something you do like!

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Are you telling them afterwards? This feels like complaining to a restaurant when you get home that your steak wasn't right

Getting to know what works for someone is a very personal experience. Even if you're passive/submissive, there are things you can do/say in the moment to make it work for you, like -

angle yourself differently

push them away and move position

pull them in more

grip them at the good bit and say "yes" or moan

Communication (verbal and non-verbal) and responsive feedback is important in every encounter.

Some of this can be done before hand, if there are things you really don't like, or don't want, as well as things you really enjoy and stuff you'd like to try.

Are you clear about what you want?

Do you know yourself?

Younger guys (under 35, in my experience) are far more gung ho, with far less finesse and understanding, so you'll need to educate them.

Make every moment about you being on the same page.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Are you telling them afterwards? This feels like complaining to a restaurant when you get home that your steak wasn't right

Getting to know what works for someone is a very personal experience. Even if you're passive/submissive, there are things you can do/say in the moment to make it work for you, like -

angle yourself differently

push them away and move position

pull them in more

grip them at the good bit and say "yes" or moan

Communication (verbal and non-verbal) and responsive feedback is important in every encounter.

Some of this can be done before hand, if there are things you really don't like, or don't want, as well as things you really enjoy and stuff you'd like to try.

Are you clear about what you want?

Do you know yourself?

Younger guys (under 35, in my experience) are far more gung ho, with far less finesse and understanding, so you'll need to educate them.

Make every moment about you being on the same page.

No during, if it's penetration, I try different angles but if it's not doing anything at all i fake an orgasm and try to get them to cum to stop.

If it's oral, I do tell them to stop as usually it's really uncomfortable.

I think this could apply to any man of any age tbf

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

And yes I definitely know what i want, i ask for it and most don't like to " be instructed" I have good manners and tell them in the nicest way but still hurts their ego and confidence and kills the moment

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

Maybe it's not what you are saying, but the way you are saying it. Just a thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some guys can’t take they ego out off it

Need to find someone who isn’t afraid to learn "

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Maybe it's not what you are saying, but the way you are saying it. Just a thought"

Yes that's where I like to get help with? Atm I tell them before we meet and see their reaction like I hate face sitting and anal. Find it extremely uncomfortable and tell them this beforehand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe it's not what you are saying, but the way you are saying it. Just a thought

Yes that's where I like to get help with? Atm I tell them before we meet and see their reaction like I hate face sitting and anal. Find it extremely uncomfortable and tell them this beforehand."

If they still tried to persuade me to do either I'd cut the meet short and leave. No way I'd do it to please them.

Even if before a meet, if they ask the same thing again when I already said no then I won't meet them at all.

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"Maybe it's not what you are saying, but the way you are saying it. Just a thought

Yes that's where I like to get help with? Atm I tell them before we meet and see their reaction like I hate face sitting and anal. Find it extremely uncomfortable and tell them this beforehand."

OP your question was about guys getting arsey when they were doing something you weren't enjoying whilst having sex. I'm assuming that wasn't insisting you sit on their face or they try to smash your back doors in after you have said that is off limits: that is never acceptable. Rather if a guy is doing something to you that you are OK with but that isn't turning you on - telling what you do like and want him to do more of... Rather than what you don't like him doing. Positive feedback is always better received than negativity. If that doesn't work then you probably are with the wrong guy

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

It wouldn't bother me if you said what you don't like ,and I'm sure by the fact that you are posting this , you would ask sensitively ...

Met a lady recently who didn't like fingering tho she didn't tell me before. I tried it a few times and she gently moved my hand and I soon realised.

She told me afterwards , and I said , you should have said..she said it was fine , it's all part of exploring each other.

I do suspect it's an age thing , I listen and go gently ...to start

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"
you analyse everything dont you, try enjoying it instead

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

"Maybe it's not what you are saying, but the way you are saying it. Just a thought

Yes that's where I like to get help with? Atm I tell them before we meet and see their reaction like I hate face sitting and anal. Find it extremely uncomfortable and tell them this beforehand.

Good idea

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By *o againTV/TS
over a year ago

swansea

I maybe old fashioned.. but if someone ask me to stop that and try this.. its got to be better for both parties. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable.

So what gets the other party going gets me going.

Jo xx

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Maybe it's not what you are saying, but the way you are saying it. Just a thought

Yes that's where I like to get help with? Atm I tell them before we meet and see their reaction like I hate face sitting and anal. Find it extremely uncomfortable and tell them this beforehand.

Good idea

No trying to do things I'm uncomfortable with...in hindsight it's because I didn't warn them I don't like it like anal and face sitting. And deep throat/face fucking. Lol

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Yeah i tell them to do things i enjoy but sometimes it falls on deaf ears...wrong choice in men. Hence why I'm super fussy and don't respond to 99% of messages etc.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I maybe old fashioned.. but if someone ask me to stop that and try this.. its got to be better for both parties. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable.

So what gets the other party going gets me going.

Jo xx"

Sure I'm the same. I enjoy pleasing, to me that's why we have sex to pleasure eachother. It shouldn't be one sided

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By *o againTV/TS
over a year ago

swansea

I maybe old fashioned.. but if someone ask me to stop that and try this.. its got to be better for both parties. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable.

So what gets the other party going gets me going.

Jo xx

Sure I'm the same. I enjoy pleasing, to me that's why we have sex to pleasure eachother. It shouldn't be one sided"

Hell no. I've meets in the past where it's very one sided.. no fun at all. If you both know what you want and get it. It's amazing.

Jo x

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By *fter dinner delightCouple
over a year ago

bury st edmunds/london

I totally get you on this when I tell Ben he gets pissed then I get a toy out the. Show him how and then it proper gets to him but next time we have sex he is rampant.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

OP does this happen with all men or just a few?

If it is just a few then I would say it was ego on their part. If it is with every man then I would suggest the issue might be closer to home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No no no , to grin and bear it , life is way too short. It is not an age thing in my experience. It is definitely an ego thing. I will literally say in the middle of sex, that is not working for me. But on the other side of it I will make sure I ask what the other person likes before, during and after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feedback is important - we're all different, so a man shouldn't think that his personal technique will "work" with every woman.

On my first meeting with a new partner (we'd had a long remote relationship) I started to work a finger on her clit. Ahe gently moved my hand a little lower and said "I'm more of a g-spot girl". And she was (very much). Far from being offended, I loved that she was helping me to give her pleasure.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"OP does this happen with all men or just a few?

If it is just a few then I would say it was ego on their part. If it is with every man then I would suggest the issue might be closer to home."

Maybe 40% or more of the men I met. Tbh I try to forget bad experiences

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By *iredhandMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Best to tell them during sex rather than after it, as they’re not going to know you don’t like it until you tell them.

That way they have a chance to turn it into a pleasurable experience for both of you. Remember, every day is a school day….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would get in a hornier mood

Personally I like knowing what a woman wants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think speaking about what you are doing or what's you liked or didn't like is cool.. as you both learn about each other and what each other likes.. so sounds like an ego dilemma for the guy.. if they don't want to take time with you and and explore for maximum climax for the both of you then to me that's their loss

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