FabSwingers.com forum: Worst thing said during sex?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is it in yet?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"is it in yet?"

Does that feel nice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mother doesn't do it like that.

Neither does your dad.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Your mother doesn't do it like that.

Neither does your dad. "

Not during sex but it was quite funny and ties in with Jodie's post...

My stalker was telling me that he was visiting his FB on ***** Street - I said that my Mam had just moved onto that street and he said that she was a better shag than me but not as good as my sister!

Cumbrians - what can you expect???

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

Pull my nightie down when you've finished and dont make a noise leaving.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's bin day tomorrow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Said to me on a threesome...as he was fucking sue doggy ...

Shes good isnt she - not brilliant but really good....

Sue nearly twatted him lol

I nearly pissed meself laffin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck av had too many to list lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Said to me on a threesome...as he was fucking sue doggy ...

Shes good isnt she - not brilliant but really good....

Sue nearly twatted him lol

I nearly pissed meself laffin"

PMSL!!!!!

Had a way with words, didn't he...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

are we going out together now

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I don't usually have this problem.!

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

Frisky said to me the other night.. " Do what you want just don't wake me up!" I think she was joking.....

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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

Hurry up family guy's on

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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

Hush the neighbours are listening

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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

Is that it

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

Who's the daddy!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what you mean the kids have woken up!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hurry up family guy's on"

Towies starting at 10

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

There's a tenner on the bedside table when we are done.

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By *exyminxy111Couple
over a year ago

coventry

Did you put the gas off?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mmmmMMMmmmm bitty...

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

"mmmmMMMmmmm bitty..."

pmsl!!!

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By *5DaveMan
over a year ago

loch lomond

there nice curtains, where you get them

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"I don't usually have this problem.!

funny, it's never their problem...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

abot 20 years ago i said an ex girl friends name when i had just started sleeping with my new girl friend at the time..i was mortified so apoligic she was calm and fine on it all..untill i realised she had done the very same thing lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can we stop for a ciggie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WTF?

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

How'd you like your eggs..??

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By *5DaveMan
over a year ago

loch lomond

[Removed by poster at 26/12/12 23:10:29]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

What shall we call the baby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How old will you be when u go down on me that's how pissed she was after I just told her how old I was lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Damn I forgot to buy milk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

glad i got my hole...I was desperate

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Sorry I drifted off there, did you come

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God I can feel your ring inside me.

That's not my ring, it's my wrist watch...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am HE-MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"(do ur own POW sounds etc)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Woops.. Just cummed.

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

Any hole's a goal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it was a two hr break darling, back to work...hope we had fun

oh, I work in the morgue xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahah that's funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'll get me coat

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I think this one still remains at the top of my list, even after 22 years:

"I can't stay over tonight - I'm getting married tomorrow morning."

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By *orkieMan
over a year ago

Who knows

Do you all play for the same football team??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why are we here?..I mean WHY, have u never wondered what our purpose is.Think about it, leave my nipple alone a sec, but think about it, u, me and everybody...why are WE here?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How's about that then......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was once asked why I couldnt get it up...."I said I cant think of anyone"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think this one still remains at the top of my list, even after 22 years:

"I can't stay over tonight - I'm getting married tomorrow morning.""

Lol!

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By *lbecCouple
over a year ago

Whitstable

[Removed by poster at 27/12/12 00:34:12]

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By *lbecCouple
over a year ago

Whitstable

This wont take long !!! ........Did it ?

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

"there's a big crack in your ceiling" !!!

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

The dog is licking my foot.....

That was mid doggy

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By *araghMan
over a year ago

portarlington

i want to have your babies what a turn off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm often sick when i cum

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

"I'm often sick when i cum"

I was offering to marry you til then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Said to me on a threesome...as he was fucking sue doggy ...

Shes good isnt she - not brilliant but really good....

Sue nearly twatted him lol

I nearly pissed meself laffin"

I love this. I know if it had happened to me I'd have been in hysterics. I find thing like this really amusing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im going to fuck u till i fertaliz your eggs then u can be a pregnant whore lol

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By *inkyScot22Man
over a year ago

Anniesland

"Uh, hang on... I've got a nose bleed. Carry on, I'll be back in a minute."

(This was during a threesome so the carry on bit worked out alright)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm often sick when i cum

I was offering to marry you til then.

i just jizzed in my throat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't recall saying anything wrong during sex but I did do something that he refused to talk to me for ages afterwards.

He had a huge whitehead spot right between his shoulder blades. I told him I'd squeeze it as it was sure to explode soon anyway and I promised to keep things as clean as possible by washing my hands, putting tissue around fingers, wiping with a sterile wipe etc but to no avail, he refused to pop it, wanted it to go naturally.

So at the point of his orgasm I popped the spot. It was so big you could hear it popping. He wasn't pleased and was moody for ages but I just couldn't have kept looking at it

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By * starr -Woman
over a year ago

Burton on Trent.

"I think this one still remains at the top of my list, even after 22 years:

"I can't stay over tonight - I'm getting married tomorrow morning.""

OMG

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this one still remains at the top of my list, even after 22 years:

"I can't stay over tonight - I'm getting married tomorrow morning."

OMG

and it was a woman!!

OMG!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was once having a threesum with my hubby and another guy in a club, they was spitroasting me with hubby in my mouth. Now I do t k ow why this actually came out loud but I felt such a bitch.

I asked the guys to swap round, as hubby entered my pussy I said, thank god time for a proper fuck

Hubby nearly died but single guy was oblivious thank god lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was once having a threesum with my hubby and another guy in a club, they was spitroasting me with hubby in my mouth. Now I do t k ow why this actually came out loud but I felt such a bitch.

I asked the guys to swap round, as hubby entered my pussy I said, thank god time for a proper fuck

Hubby nearly died but single guy was oblivious thank god lol"

I remember that nite...thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was once having a threesum with my hubby and another guy in a club, they was spitroasting me with hubby in my mouth. Now I do t k ow why this actually came out loud but I felt such a bitch.

I asked the guys to swap round, as hubby entered my pussy I said, thank god time for a proper fuck

Hubby nearly died but single guy was oblivious thank god lol

I remember that nite...thanks"

Hahaha, you wish xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex used to hear zzzzzzzzzz quite a lot.......

followed by 'did we fuck last night?' in the morning

I know....I'm a bad woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ex wife to me when i said i wanted something instant i meant coffee not sex

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

"Said to me on a threesome...as he was fucking sue doggy ...

Shes good isnt she - not brilliant but really good....

Sue nearly twatted him lol

I nearly pissed meself laffin

I love this. I know if it had happened to me I'd have been in hysterics. I find thing like this really amusing

You could imagine Alan Partridge saying something along those lines, whilst he's having 'sexual intercourse'...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Play Misty for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry I drifted off there, did you come"

Lmao !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How'd you like your eggs..??"

Unfertilised

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"You remind me of my auntie."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her proclaiming her deepest love for me on the first meet as I'm pounding her silly, only for us to cum in a huge pool of squirting juice, and during the afterglow and cuddling, she says "I really meant it when I said I love you"

Omg, how can she love me, we've only met two hours ago! Lol and it's not just happened with just one woman either lol

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

My ex: "Have you come yet? I've got a raid (World Of Warcraft) at 7pm".

- Amy. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im gunna shoot mi muck" in a broad Yorkshire accent...bleugh!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I could offer the good men of Fab just one piece of advice, it would be to NEVER, EVER, EVER utter the words 'you're gonna have to get off, I can't feel my legs' when a woman is riding you.

It doesn't go down well, stops sex instantly and gets you ignored for days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/12/12 11:57:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

anyone asking me to call them "daddy"

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

The wrong name... both guilty of that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure i have said anything bad unknowlingly; but if i was to i think these might take the biscut;

"can you turn a little more that way; your breath smells"

"hang on whilst i ring my wife/partner befroe we start - suck that whilst your waiting"

"can i just take this call; its the STD clinic"

"Ops i farted"

"Can you see my wedding ring (as he take fist out of pussy)"

hehehee !!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i was told "its ok i can cope that you are a swinger its just the way you are"

hence the fact i havent saw him since!

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

"anyone asking me to call them "daddy"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what time is it?????

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By *tephenb001Man
over a year ago

stapleton

Did you see that goal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you see that goal"

im guilty of this ^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Playing at chams once and the female under me said, `hold me down and pretend your raping me` !!!

I lost my hard-on in 5 seconds flat ... im not that type of guy

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By *obandruthCouple
over a year ago

wolverhampton

shut my legs when you have finished

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

Why am I now thinking of the film, 'Rita, Sue & Bob Too', now?

...'yer bet ya boots a'can'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alice once said to be Never noticed that crack in the ceiling before you will have to fix it

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"How'd you like your eggs..??"
....She is a keeper. Thinking of your breakfast already hahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you still counting spots on the ceiling or are you joining in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did I win?"

This was after he was finished in approx 2 mins (Not my Mr a previous conquest of my teen years)

I've never known what he fully meant by that...

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By *obertjMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

have you finished... yet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not one I've heard but thinking of film quotes never to say after sex.

That'll do pig that'll do.....

I would not dare say it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I could offer the good men of Fab just one piece of advice, it would be to NEVER, EVER, EVER utter the words 'you're gonna have to get off, I can't feel my legs' when a woman is riding you.

It doesn't go down well, stops sex instantly and gets you ignored for days

"
told missus to get off once.....well i did have prolapsed disc and sciatica......ouch

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By *om.lionheartMan
over a year ago

Kirkby-in-Ashfield

Heard my neighbours through the wall...."oh Kev! You've cum all over my nightie!!!"

Still sends shivers down my spine.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Heard my neighbours through the wall...."oh Kev! You've cum all over my nightie!!!"

Still sends shivers down my spine....."
wincyette nightie or baby doll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This feels like I'm having a really satisfying poo. when I was doing some girl in the bottom once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you want for dinner tomorrow, eat in or takeaway"..... i think my reply was something along the lines of " Neither because i won't be here" and left soon after...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"leg cramp, leg cramp, sorry!"

Has happened both ways, each time was the person on top lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""leg cramp, leg cramp, sorry!"

Has happened both ways, each time was the person on top lol"

thats not actually that bad x

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By *araphiliaWoman
over a year ago

Londinium

"Oh shit! I think I left the iron on"

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By *araphiliaWoman
over a year ago

Londinium

Also had a bloke say that my riding him was "fandabydozy"

Passion Killer

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

warrington

Had a girlfriend who called me by her ex's name........

That ended that particular session!

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By *radyReynoldsMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Mum?...

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By *aulusMan
over a year ago

Chester

A lady friend of mine was having her 1st ever 3sum with a bloke she was seeing and his mate and as her bloke cum he turned to the other guy and said 'you can finish her off now'. She felt really degraded by that and got shut of him the very next day! She's never got over that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst Mrs J was in the missionary position and I was cumming she burst out laughing and told me I looked like Grandpa Gog from the bit where he got buried .

I was not amused .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Call out another woman's name while riding your partner doggy style and see how long you can stay on...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"is it in yet?"
hahahaha that made me laugh.

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By *adyH and GrissomCouple
over a year ago

Llantarnum

A mate of mine said he knew it was all over with his girlfriend when he was going down on her and all she did was kept changing the tv channel over his shoulder lol

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

""leg cramp, leg cramp, sorry!"

Has happened both ways, each time was the person on top lol"

That happened to me the other night. Luckily he understood!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'd think most people would be understanding considering it could be them that need the understanding given to them on a particular occasion.

Anyone can cramp up, pull a muscle, fall off the bed or whatever. Sometimes this stuff just happens.

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By *om.lionheartMan
over a year ago

Kirkby-in-Ashfield

"Heard my neighbours through the wall...."oh Kev! You've cum all over my nightie!!!"

Still sends shivers down my spine.....wincyette nightie or baby doll

Judging by the look of her she was a wincyette kind of girl (well woman actually)

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By *now-bbw-bunnyCouple
over a year ago

southend-on-sea

"more "i said . " u shall "he replied , u already got all of my fist !!"

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I think this one still remains at the top of my list, even after 22 years:

"I can't stay over tonight - I'm getting married tomorrow morning."

OMG

and it was a woman!!

OMG!!!!!!

No, it was a man with whom I thought I was in a faithful relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"????

your wife's name

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think this one still remains at the top of my list, even after 22 years:

"I can't stay over tonight - I'm getting married tomorrow morning."

OMG

and it was a woman!!

OMG!!!!!!

No, it was a man with whom I thought I was in a faithful relationship."

O....M effing .....G.

What did you say?

Settles into comfy chair.....

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I think this one still remains at the top of my list, even after 22 years:

"I can't stay over tonight - I'm getting married tomorrow morning."

OMG

and it was a woman!!

OMG!!!!!!

No, it was a man with whom I thought I was in a faithful relationship.

O....M effing .....G.

What did you say?

Settles into comfy chair....."

I was speechless for about 20 minutes and then I asked him to tell me about the woman and how he had managed to get engaged and arrange a wedding and not let on to me at all. Two hours later I asked him to leave.

The marriage didn't last that long and he ran off with his secretary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this one still remains at the top of my list, even after 22 years:

"I can't stay over tonight - I'm getting married tomorrow morning."

OMG

and it was a woman!!

OMG!!!!!!

No, it was a man with whom I thought I was in a faithful relationship.

O....M effing .....G.

What did you say?

Settles into comfy chair.....

The marriage didn't last that long and he ran off with his secretary."

And the winner is....

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

warrington

Me - "Open Wider"

Her - "I am"

Me - "Wider"

Her - "FFS, are you trying to get your balls in?"

Me - "No! I am trying to get them out!!"

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