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Whats the right way?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Right ok, so what ever I seem to do is wrong. What is the right way to respond to a message when they aren't for you etc? I always try to respond to messages even if it is a ‘no sorry’ and I just get abuse. You ignore and you get abuse.

Aggghhhhhhhh!

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

You're dammed if you do and dammed if you don't. Do what ever feels most comfortable for you. Ignore the rudeness and just report them

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I say no thanks. Ignore any come back. Report if rude or block

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Just delete then if you get abuse report and block.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Hi thanks for your message but you are not what I’m looking for works mostly

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By *ndiiiMan
over a year ago

Paisley Scotland

Whatever way your more comfortable with, is the right way xxx

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By *ndiiiMan
over a year ago

Paisley Scotland

[Removed by poster at 31/12/22 12:40:15]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I say no thanks. Ignore any come back. Report if rude or block"

I hate blocking, feels so rude, but yes, damned if you do damned if you dont!

X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete with no response if I’m not interested. It states this in the FAQ

Any abuse or if they keep messaging I block them

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Whatever way your more comfortable with, is the right way xxx"

Feels shit either way lol

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Hi thanks for your message but you are not what I’m looking for works mostly"

But they still keep messaging you like you never said it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say I'm looking for something a little different but thank you anyway.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I say thanks but no thanks ,have fun & block if I reply.

It saves any come back or why nots

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Same guy has messaged the same message now for 3 days, he is polite enough and ive been polite back, but now blocked.

No one likes being rejected, it sucks I know, but walk away like lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Right ok, so what ever I seem to do is wrong. What is the right way to respond to a message when they aren't for you etc? I always try to respond to messages even if it is a ‘no sorry’ and I just get abuse. You ignore and you get abuse.

Aggghhhhhhhh! "

Just say "Sorry I am not feeling any attraction" then block. Xxx

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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live

I usually say not for me but happy fabing x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s very hard. We tried the nice reply, which often gets abuse, as does a delete.

I think it’s a situation where you can’t win from rejecting someone. But the reaction you receive says more about the sender than it does you.

And to be fair, when you get abused like that, it shows who they really are, which only amplifies our thoughts that they weren’t right in the first place.

Still not nice to receive tho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I say no thanks. Ignore any come back. Report if rude or block

I hate blocking, feels so rude, but yes, damned if you do damned if you dont!

X"

Here practice with me...

Hi ya, Gayle here. Looking at your profile and reading your responses has made me feel extremely sexually attracted to you. I would love to be part of your bi journey. It would be incredible xx let me know please lovely xxx Gayle xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It’s very hard. We tried the nice reply, which often gets abuse, as does a delete.

I think it’s a situation where you can’t win from rejecting someone. But the reaction you receive says more about the sender than it does you.

And to be fair, when you get abused like that, it shows who they really are, which only amplifies our thoughts that they weren’t right in the first place.

Still not nice to receive tho. "

This is so true! Not sure why you would change your mind after abuse, they are mental! X

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

Just do whatever you want in regards to replies. If you want to take the time to reply with a "no thank you" then do it. If you want to read & not reply (which = a "no thank you" according to the site rules anyway, unless I'm mistaken) then do it. If you want to delete without even reading (due to viewing their profile / seeing what the opining line is / etc) then do it.

My advive when receiving abuse - from any profile, for any reason - is just to straight up report & block, and then move on. And take their response as vindication for making the correct decision not to meet / engage with them in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s lovely and polite to receive a reply even it’s a no, and I just accept that, even if i receive nothing back I appreciate that couples and single women get so many messages that it’s probably a no and move on. I just don’t get men who then hurl abuse for not getting the answer they sought, it just reinforces the fact they don’t deserve to meet anyone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just sent you a message to get a knock back to show you how I react I hope I am polite enough x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I delete with no response if I’m not interested. It states this in the FAQ

Any abuse or if they keep messaging I block them "

Little bit more patient, 3 strikes then the block button gets used.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I delete with no response if I’m not interested. It states this in the FAQ

Any abuse or if they keep messaging I block them

Little bit more patient, 3 strikes then the block button gets used. "

I like the 3 strikes and you are out method!!

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax


"Right ok, so what ever I seem to do is wrong. What is the right way to respond to a message when they aren't for you etc? I always try to respond to messages even if it is a ‘no sorry’ and I just get abuse. You ignore and you get abuse.

Aggghhhhhhhh! "

If the person contacting you seems respectful then consider messaging back, if not then just delete and move on. It says in the rules no response is a no thanks and if they become abusive just report and block them.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I usually respond when I see a genuine message from a sane person, it’s normally well received and our interaction ends there.

It’s the “crazy” ones who will hit you back with the abuse so I don’t think blocking is rude in that case.

The truth is, you can’t win.

Do whatever feels right for you, you don’t owe anything to anyone on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep my expectations realistic and I’m happy with being ignored… I would suggest adapting one of those rejected job application templates for fab… something like :

Thank you for your application however we decided to go for candidates with a stronger set of skills for this role

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I keep my expectations realistic and I’m happy with being ignored… I would suggest adapting one of those rejected job application templates for fab… something like :

Thank you for your application however we decided to go for candidates with a stronger set of skills for this role "

Brilliant!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

It’s a double edge sword I’m afraid the male ego is a fragile thing. Just ignore and block the abusive ones.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If any of you refuse me you will be in big trouble

That's it I am telling mum

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

I'd suggest liberal use of the block button.

That way you'll never know if they just shrug and move on or dissolve in a pit of boiling fury.

Either way, you shouldn't worry about it.

Happy fabbing,

Gbat

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford


"I say thanks but no thanks ,have fun & block if I reply.

It saves any come back or why nots "

I do similar, sometimes try to come up with something creative but have learned my lesson- it has to be straight to the point. And block straight after- as the poster said, saves the begging, the "why nots", the contradictions (for ex.: "I'm not over 1h drive" when the distance on profile is 40+ miles) etc. I tried to let people down politely but very quickly got reminded why blocking after saying "no, thank you" is required. Unless, of course, you think you might be interested in the future - then best to ask "if you message me in a month or so, I might be more happy to chat/meet".

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