FabSwingers.com forum: Signs of cheating

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I’ve noticed a few threads on cheating posted on the forums (no judgement) a general question.

If you were in a monogamous relationship, not a swingers ones, what are the classic signs you spot that your partner is cheating? Does it differ between women and men?

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

* hiding his phone

* taking his phone everywhere with him.. even at 2am if he went to the toilet.

* sudden meetings that no one else seemed to remember having

* golf weekends ( bike, car), suddenly increased

* not wanting to go to bed at the same time as me

To be fair though... mostly it was just a feeling x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Phone never out of sight, even taken to the loo. Distracted, not present. A coldness comes into the relationship, things just seem off and your not sure why. These are the things that have happened in my experience.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

Never dismiss gut feelings

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I read something where a woman knew her husband was cheating when at a party a woman handed him a drink and he took it without looking at her. As if he was very used to it

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By *dd_soxMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

If you don't do things out of the ordinary, be where you are supposed to be and at the time you are supposed to be - it's hard to be caught out.

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By *luefire2012Man
over a year ago

Bucks

Similar from my experience, sadly.

The phone is a big one, vague comments about being late home/unexpectedly going out.

Being very defensive of discussing the above.

No sex or physical intimacy

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By *g and funnyCouple
over a year ago

Clacton

"I read something where a woman knew her husband was cheating when at a party a woman handed him a drink and he took it without looking at her. As if he was very used to it"

Thats actually a scene from the film The Tall Guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of unfaithful people out there that’s why I prefer to stay single people throw away a good thing for a good time these days and it ducks peoples heads up cba with that

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I read something where a woman knew her husband was cheating when at a party a woman handed him a drink and he took it without looking at her. As if he was very used to it

Thats actually a scene from the film The Tall Guy"

Is it! I read this years and years ago.

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By *g and funnyCouple
over a year ago

Clacton

"I read something where a woman knew her husband was cheating when at a party a woman handed him a drink and he took it without looking at her. As if he was very used to it

Thats actually a scene from the film The Tall Guy

Is it! I read this years and years ago. "

Yeah, its from 1989. Emma Thompson sees the glass of wine being given to Jeff Goldblum where he doesn't react or say thank you.

Its a good film, just for the sight of them both walking around together in the same pair of pjs

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By *acky RacersCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

I heard a case of the guy's phone auto connected to the wife's best mates wifi when the couple visited her house...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The truth always comes out in the end, no matter what

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By *isser36Man
over a year ago

fylde Coast

When I was getting cheated on the red flags were her always being late home from work... just randomly popping to see her freind Sarah...not letting her phone out of her grasp, she started sleeping with it under her pillow...I even found her cum stained knickers which she insisted was my cum but I was convinced it wasn't...turned out she was seeing her friend Sarah's brother!! And meeting him at Sarah's house! She came home d*unk one night and left her phone out so I looked on it and found the messages. I left that night.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"So I’ve noticed a few threads on cheating posted on the forums (no judgement) a general question.

If you were in a monogamous relationship, not a swingers ones, what are the classic signs you spot that your partner is cheating? Does it differ between women and men? "

Loss of weight, new clothes, new routine, new interests, more sex, working early / late, new hair...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I read something where a woman knew her husband was cheating when at a party a woman handed him a drink and he took it without looking at her. As if he was very used to it

Thats actually a scene from the film The Tall Guy

Is it! I read this years and years ago.

Yeah, its from 1989. Emma Thompson sees the glass of wine being given to Jeff Goldblum where he doesn't react or say thank you.

Its a good film, just for the sight of them both walking around together in the same pair of pjs"

If I remember rightly I read it in a magazine, possibly before that film

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

My ex always became more attentive to me and the kids, even when we split if he hit a new gf he would be nicer to me and want the kids more

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"My ex always became more attentive to me and the kids, even when we split if he hit a new gf he would be nicer to me and want the kids more

In some ways, sounds like it could have been a win win situation!

Gbat

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Getting nails done, new perfume, gym, wearing dresses / skirts instead of trousers, new lingerie, new "girlfriends"..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gut feeling is usually correct I find.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Similar from my experience, sadly.

The phone is a big one, vague comments about being late home/unexpectedly going out.

Being very defensive of discussing the above.

No sex or physical intimacy

Mine was the opposite... Suddenly started wanting it all the time and doing new things..in bed, new "tricks" suddenly..

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By *unmatt888Man
over a year ago

Duns

I wouldn’t fixate too much on the phone, I’m single and always take it to the loo!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Phone goes everywhere

Screen down on silent

Longer time away

Dismissive

Loss of interest

Mood swings

Generally distracted

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mouth smells like a fish market.

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"My ex always became more attentive to me and the kids, even when we split if he hit a new gf he would be nicer to me and want the kids more

In some ways, sounds like it could have been a win win situation!

Gbat "

It would have been if he had just left me alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/12/22 18:00:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/12/22 18:00:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn’t fixate too much on the phone, I’m single and always take it to the loo!"

(3rd times a charm doing a proper reply lol)

Seconded, that's my Twitter time

Also I always take it with me if I'm leaving the car to go to the shop etc because I pay for everything with Google Pay these days, rarely take my wallet.

So I suppose it's more of a change of habit that's concerning, rather than just black and white "This behaviour is bad"

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By *ylonloverboy69Man
over a year ago

cheltenham

"I wouldn’t fixate too much on the phone, I’m single and always take it to the loo!"
me too!

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

"* hiding his phone

* taking his phone everywhere with him.. even at 2am if he went to the toilet.

* sudden meetings that no one else seemed to remember having

* golf weekends ( bike, car), suddenly increased

* not wanting to go to bed at the same time as me

To be fair though... mostly it was just a feeling x "

Playing golf, and left his very exspensive clubs in the hallway. When questioned, 'I used the club ones'. Yeah right!

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By *irkby coupleCouple
over a year ago

Kirkby

I once worked away with a guy who was married but had a girlfriend where we was working.

One weekend he told his wife he was staying for the weekend to do over time. Something happened locally over the weekend. His wife was watching the news and seen her husband and his girlfriend on TV!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I once worked away with a guy who was married but had a girlfriend where we was working.

One weekend he told his wife he was staying for the weekend to do over time. Something happened locally over the weekend. His wife was watching the news and seen her husband and his girlfriend on TV!"

There's a video on social media of a man and his girlfriend being caught on kiss cam at a baseball game. His reaction makes it clear he's cheating

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Trimming their pubes.

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By *he_TicklersCouple
over a year ago

Havant & Aberdare

Gut feeling

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Lipstick on your collar

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By *orneyloverMan
over a year ago

Boston

"I wouldn’t fixate too much on the phone, I’m single and always take it to the loo!"

Me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Trimming their pubes."

Doesn't most people trim

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Constantly making accusations that I was cheating, insane jealousy. Once all came out he admitted he wanted me to have cheated so he didn't feel as guilty... Said he didn't mean to do it.

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By *he_TicklersCouple
over a year ago

Havant & Aberdare

My ex wife who I never cheated on was obsessed with my phone activity, I tolerated 6 months of her amateur detective work on trying to catch me out I just left. She has since apologised (6 years later via Facebook)

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By *he_TicklersCouple
over a year ago

Havant & Aberdare

"Constantly making accusations that I was cheating, insane jealousy. Once all came out he admitted he wanted me to have cheated so he didn't feel as guilty... Said he didn't mean to do it.

Othello syndrome

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By *ampire69Man
over a year ago

Birmingham West Midlands

never discount anything until you can prove its innocent everything is a possibility, don't jump to accusing too soon give them time they get cocky and think their smart that's when they start to make errors, smart ones have a second burner phone, so first phone never gets dodgy calls or messages, look at bank statements or credit card statements, log all car mileage movements petrol receipts it takes a lot of very low level watching before to go all guns.

if you want to know more call me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"never discount anything until you can prove its innocent everything is a possibility, don't jump to accusing too soon give them time they get cocky and think their smart that's when they start to make errors, smart ones have a second burner phone, so first phone never gets dodgy calls or messages, look at bank statements or credit card statements, log all car mileage movements petrol receipts it takes a lot of very low level watching before to go all guns.

if you want to know more call me

If my suspicions were that strong that I was going to those extremes, I would be having an honest conversation with my husband.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you want to know more call me

If things with your partner have gotten to that extreme a level of paranoia, then the relationship is pretty much lost already surely? What a horrible way to live your life

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Blaming you for little things

Acting distant

Stop sleeping with you or sleep with you but use new moves on you

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By *itty HoodooCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

if you want to know more call me

Mmmmmm if you feel you have to go to these extreme measures then your relationship is already over, unless you’re blackops trained then it’s just another day. Honestly I wouldn’t just question my partner, but question myself if I did these things knowing the relationship is already broken. Move on don’t obsess.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"* hiding his phone

* taking his phone everywhere with him.. even at 2am if he went to the toilet.

* sudden meetings that no one else seemed to remember having

* golf weekends ( bike, car), suddenly increased

* not wanting to go to bed at the same time as me

To be fair though... mostly it was just a feeling x "

Yup all of these,

Sudden night's out with the lads...he never went out or wanted to go out with them

Missed trains or delays

Password suddenly changed on his phone

Staying up late and 'falling asleep on the couch'

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

"* hiding his phone

* taking his phone everywhere with him.. even at 2am if he went to the toilet.

* sudden meetings that no one else seemed to remember having

* golf weekends ( bike, car), suddenly increased

* not wanting to go to bed at the same time as me

To be fair though... mostly it was just a feeling x "

Exactly this. Works both ways tho. Maybe with the exception of the golf lol. No judgment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was getting cheated on the red flags were her always being late home from work... just randomly popping to see her freind Sarah...not letting her phone out of her grasp, she started sleeping with it under her pillow...I even found her cum stained knickers which she insisted was my cum but I was convinced it wasn't...turned out she was seeing her friend Sarah's brother!! And meeting him at Sarah's house! She came home d*unk one night and left her phone out so I looked on it and found the messages. I left that night.

Sorry that happened to you.

Well done for walking away, that’s so hard to do.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I wouldn’t fixate too much on the phone, I’m single and always take it to the loo!me too! "

Yes me too as I'm forever losing it if it doesn't follow me plus i have my phone on silent all the time.

My cheating ex left his phone lying around. Nothing was on it when I could check.

The evidence of meal for 2, hotel bookings etc was on his laptop and wallet.

In the end, I found a photo greeting card of them two in bed in his work bag. So if you suspect, check everything! Lol there's always evidence.

Mine kept saying I was the one cheating and neglecting him...when now it was clearly him.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Btw to this day, he denies his cheating ways...even to the point saying "how can it be cheating if you're not in love" lol please anything to make yourself feel better,luv.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"Btw to this day, he denies his cheating ways...even to the point saying "how can it be cheating if you're not in love" lol please anything to make yourself feel better,luv.

Snap with my ex too, and 'we were over' was news to me as far as I knew we were still together

Tinder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say the signs are sex drops off totally, not going to bed at the same time are prime ones.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"I would say the signs are sex drops off totally, not going to bed at the same time are prime ones."
to be fair I think that's often the opposite if its a woman cheating. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would say the signs are sex drops off totally, not going to bed at the same time are prime ones. to be fair I think that's often the opposite if its a woman cheating. X"

Why do you think that is? Guilt or just more clever than men haha

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

The evidence of cheating can usually be summarised in one word: change.

Things have...changed!

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"So I’ve noticed a few threads on cheating posted on the forums (no judgement) a general question.

If you were in a monogamous relationship, not a swingers ones, what are the classic signs you spot that your partner is cheating? Does it differ between women and men? "
I don't have a wife but if I did I'd assign her a gay bodyguard to protect her from all the horrible things that can happen to her out there, god its a minefield

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I would say the signs are sex drops off totally, not going to bed at the same time are prime ones. to be fair I think that's often the opposite if its a woman cheating. X

Why do you think that is? Guilt or just more clever than men haha"

Definitely

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

The sudden need to start posting selfies on social media

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By *hisismeXXXMan
over a year ago

Welsh Wales

Lots of people talking about always keeping their mobiles on them/taking to the loo/keeping the mobile on silent.

All that on its own means nothing more than someone keeps their mobile close, on silent, and takes them to the loo!!

I do all the above, always have and more so than ever now due to Apple Pay. My phone basically never leaves my possession.

I’ve never cheated in my life though.

I would say it’s far more important to look for changes in behaviour. If someone starts doing something differently or out of the norm there’s usually a reason, and that’s far more telling than a mobile on silent and going to the loo with you!

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By *lack marvelMan
over a year ago

Kingston

Men and women definitely have different signs of cheating. But taking phone everywhere is the common sign

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By *haz46Woman
over a year ago

Stockport

taste his cock when he gets in, you can taste where its been

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

A distance in their mind - they're no longer fully present.

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By *ustincamebridgeCouple
over a year ago

manchester

In our house all our phone passcodes are the same Anything on here is open to both of us. We often post together. Only answer messages together

Austin does like his car show but always tried to get Cammy to go with him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lots of people talking about always keeping their mobiles on them/taking to the loo/keeping the mobile on silent.

All that on its own means nothing more than someone keeps their mobile close, on silent, and takes them to the loo!!

I agree with this. My phone is my wallet and card holder and my tv. I watch tv shows on it. However I do leave it about too but then I don’t have a partner but would if I did

I do all the above, always have and more so than ever now due to Apple Pay. My phone basically never leaves my possession.

I’ve never cheated in my life though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are with the person long enough you'd know that they are up to no good, the signs will all be there in clear sight, you just have to look at them clearly

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By *xposedInTheSunCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

"I don't have a wife but if I did I'd assign her a gay bodyguard to protect her from all the horrible things that can happen to her out there, god its a minefield

I think I can see why you don't have a wife...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see a lot of breaches of privacy on here I.e checking phones and wallets etc, why not just ask?

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I can see a lot of breaches of privacy on here I.e checking phones and wallets etc, why not just ask? "

Because they just usually deny it

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"I can see a lot of breaches of privacy on here I.e checking phones and wallets etc, why not just ask? "

Because they'd deny it, and after years of gaslighting throw it back in my face and make out I was the one who was cheating/paranoid/stupid/dumb I could go on but for my own self preservation it was safer to check the phone rather than ask to see it

Tinder x

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I got told I was some psycho for him of having an affair. It was all in my crazy head. So nope, it really doesn't work most of the time asking them.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I can see a lot of breaches of privacy on here I.e checking phones and wallets etc, why not just ask?

Tinder x"

Yes best to get concrete evidence than ask. Cheaters generally love denying it as it makes them look like the baddie...as obviously they're not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gone fishing

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By *m A FuckerMan
over a year ago

kingswood,surrey/leysdown kent

[Removed by poster at 19/12/22 18:37:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pussy smells like a fishmarket more likely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Catching her in bed with another man...

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By *ewisbi76Man
over a year ago

west edinburgh

"Phone goes everywhere

Screen down on silent

Longer time away

Dismissive

Loss of interest

Mood swings

Generally distracted

Mrs"

I had a phone (a samsung) where one of the features was that if you left the phone face down then picked it up slightly it would vibrate of you had any notifications. This was back when having a mobile out all the time was still seen as rude ive been doing that ever since.

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By *ewisbi76Man
over a year ago

west edinburgh

"Trimming their pubes.

Doesn't most people trim

A lot of older people never did (maybe 40+ today). so if you've never been under social pressure to trim then you'll find yourself a bit if an outlier on the "modern" swinging scene.

You'll want to trim to fit in with everyone else, but then your partner will wonder why when they dont see why you would want to shave your hair off. My wife would never shave, and after i asked her once if she woud she kept showing me occasional womens magazine article about how not shaving was healthier for you, reduces stds etc

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By *andC1000Couple
over a year ago

Ashford

"Phone goes everywhere

Screen down on silent

Longer time away

Dismissive

Loss of interest

Mood swings

Generally distracted

Mrs"

Exactly this and always behaving like they’ve a guilty conscience

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane

"* hiding his phone

* taking his phone everywhere with him.. even at 2am if he went to the toilet.

* sudden meetings that no one else seemed to remember having

* golf weekends ( bike, car), suddenly increased

* not wanting to go to bed at the same time as me

To be fair though... mostly it was just a feeling x "

Looking after themselves more...new clothes etc...

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

If an individual, male or female, is of a mind to cheat on a person to whom they were committed at one time, the opportunities, ploys, excuses and means are almost infinite.

If you have a suspicion then give them free rein, act faux-naif and the truth will reveal itself in due course.

Learn from the experience and walk away; twice I have had a so-called fling with two notorious cheats, just to acquire experience of their modi operandi, up close and impersonal.

It cost me a few quid in entertainment costs, but it was worth the expense!

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Catching her in bed with another man..."

Yep..

Well not in bed. But clearly that's where they just been before the "friend" from the gym left.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"* hiding his phone

* taking his phone everywhere with him.. even at 2am if he went to the toilet.

* sudden meetings that no one else seemed to remember having

* golf weekends ( bike, car), suddenly increased

* not wanting to go to bed at the same time as me

To be fair though... mostly it was just a feeling x

Looking after themselves more...new clothes etc...

Good comment x definitely new clothes especially new boxers x

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

The concept of cheating no longer crosses my mind in my relationship with women because these ephemeral transitory but mutually beneficial flings are strictly nsa:no strings attached.

Frankly, I don't give a damn who they have been with before me, or who they intend to meet with after me, so long as that person is not in bed with us, at that moment!

Swinging is such a cynical and perfunctory game.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"The concept of cheating no longer crosses my mind in my relationship with women because these ephemeral transitory but mutually beneficial flings are strictly nsa:no strings attached.

Frankly, I don't give a damn who they have been with before me, or who they intend to meet with after me, so long as that person is not in bed with us, at that moment!

Swinging is such a cynical and perfunctory game."

Ok for alot of people, swinging is sharing the bed with a third.

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By *ack 500Man
over a year ago

stafford

"Never dismiss gut feelings "

So true

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By *luboyoMan
over a year ago

North West / Birmingham

"taste his cock when he gets in, you can taste where its been"

Definitely going to get my wife to check me every time I come back in the house now

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

"Never dismiss gut feelings

So true "

Yep. The trouble with gut feeling (and some evidence) is when your with a gaslighting pro. You call them and they turn it around and make you think your making it up, your crazy and then you feel cut in two with guit. Luckily although you think your going mad that little voice still talks and you eventually get that undisputable proof your not mad.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Definitely recognise that change in patterns like suddenly having a social life and going away for work trips that don't make sense. Or even camping trips but not taking the right gear. The sad thing was I thought her growing a social life was a great thing. I always encouraged her to get out more, do things for her self and make freinds. But she never in the past had much inclination or desire to make freinds or do activities. So I was fully supportive of her new found get up and go and was helping her fund it. When you find out you were enabling their cheating and paying for it and watching the children while they do it makes you feel very sick.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Someone i know was ‘at it’ and got caught when his wife left for work and he was in the loo on the phone to his ‘friend’ when she left. She had to wait for the car to defrost but his phone connected to her car bluetooth and she heard the friend obviously saying something…. He said I thought she’d hung up until it all blew up a minute later.

Moral of the story- play it straight!!

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By *onundrumMan
over a year ago

rhyl

You just know

With the phone. Always flat or very low on battery more than taking it everywhere as they are on it more and dint leave it lying around and they are busier

Starting arguments to get out of bed etc or nor come to bed

Sudden deletion or changes to social media

Sudden gestures like going the shop for you or things or constantly popping out

But the biggest thing is they start checking everything you do

Sudden spike in fuel use

Sudden improvement on willingness to do stuff independently especially chores

Sudden increase in laundry especially underwear

Increase or decrease I'm neediness.

Tbh though it's not the big stuff women are on them

It's the small things. They start wearing the stuff you love but not for you... heels, you only see the granny knickers but the wash basket is full of thongs

New words or comments

Bruises or covering up

Increase or decrease in bathing

Distancing you from their social circle

Notification changes on the phone

But the big one women always miss Is the recycling bin lol or receipts

I would never go yhrouhh messages if I feel that way its over but I will nose through a gallery not looking for obvious stuff but if selfies in blocks especially when a distance was created during that period

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By *onundrumMan
over a year ago

rhyl

Oh and the biggest one Sudden removal of your man stuff from their planner if you live separately

I found a series link to discovery channel stuff I didn't watch and she certainly didn't lol

Pubes and shit on the toilet, I'm impeccable with my hygiene and grooming most men are pigs I'd they are at it etc having a couple there will be pee on the toilet pubes etc

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

This has got to be one of the most thought provoking and conscience pricking threads ever.

Among other things, it highlights one of the many fascinating aspects of human behaviour and it is not difficult to see how some major religions have capitalised from the conflicts sexuality causes.

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By *onundrumMan
over a year ago

rhyl

Not really

You just know. Body language, mood, humans are connected on a level we don't respect or understand

Then you notice all the little things. But you ignor them because your wrong remember

Walk away be cool and guess what you were right.

All comes out in the wash

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

If you want to know if your partner is cheating there is one certain way ...

Withold sex

Do not show affection because you are annoyed with them

Do not show respect

Criticise them in public to your friends

Criticise the way they look, act, speak.

Show no gratitude for anything they do for you.

Belittle their career

Accuse them of being unfaithful

Try and coerce them into doing what you want even when they don't want to do it

Spend money on yourself and complain if they spend on something for themselves.

Glorify your old partners and say you made a mistake marrying them.

Never question your own behaviour.

Do some or all of those things and then watch out for all the excellent pointers above which indicate the dishonourable duplicitous cheating shits are getting what they need elsewhere.

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By *ixey and CopperCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"* hiding his phone

* taking his phone everywhere with him.. even at 2am if he went to the toilet.

* sudden meetings that no one else seemed to remember having

* golf weekends ( bike, car), suddenly increased

* not wanting to go to bed at the same time as me

To be fair though... mostly it was just a feeling x "

All these sound like me, self employed and wouldn't have enough time have an affair

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

The core concept to be grasped is that nowadays the overwhelming majority of people are selfish and totally out for their own ends; if something better comes along, you will be dropped like a hot stone.

To prevent a situation where you are being used, adopt the most cynical mode of interaction until the other person proves otherwise; believe nothing and treat every utterance with extreme scepticism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex wife used to always accuse me of cheating. 22 years and I never once cheated, turns out it was her (3 times). Seems the guilty ones tend to accuse their partners to try and make what they did okay.

I remember one evening years ago when we were fairly young, she was a barmaid and we had not long had our first child, she came home and I was in bed, I went to touch her and she freaked, eventually she succumbed to my persistence and I swear it was another man's cum in her pussy as she was soaked, yet she didn't want it. God I was so nieve.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"My ex wife used to always accuse me of cheating. 22 years and I never once cheated, turns out it was her (3 times). Seems the guilty ones tend to accuse their partners to try and make what they did okay.

Couldn't you guys get into swinging? Instead of her creeping behind your back as it appears she enjoys sleeping around?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We actually did, all her idea. She passed it to me as " we could try another woman" but it was a couple she found and wanted the guy basically. I was going down on the woman and my wife flipped at me ?????. It was the beginning of the end.

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By *ilva69Man
over a year ago

stockport

A keen interest in her own appearance, purchasing off sexy lingerie, but you don’t get to see, mobile phone never leaves her side, daily routine, often altered, working late, staying over at a girlfriends after a night out. Generally in a much better mood, classic signs.

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

My ex cheated on me when we was still married years ago.. to be honest, I didn't see any of the signs but what became suspicion was when she was showering me with a lot of attention.. and I mean a lot.. considering our marriage was breaking down and we were just like two people living in the same house, it felt strange but at first, I put it towards she wanted to rebuild our marriage again so I did the same. It was nice at first but then it got very frequent and more intense which seems odd then the penny drop.. I think from that point, I felt betrayed.. probably a lot to explain why I don't let people get to close to me.

What hurt even more is, all of our friends then knew before I did and none said a word

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Yep I think constantly making accusations of cheating may be a sign someone is cheating.

I was told after we split by a councilor people who can't trust themselves can rarely trust others.

Accused of cheating by my ex wife a lot in my marriage. It's really hurtful. Turns out it was her who was cheating. Also turns it may have not been the first time. When I was in the forces she had a lot more opportunities (I was away a lot). I remember there were rumours and a couple of things I didn't pick up back then in my nievety. But I trusted her and put it down to mischief makers with nothing better to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funnily enough I serve too and she had lots of opportunities. I say 3 but it could have been many more.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"Loss of weight, new clothes, new routine, new interests, more sex, working early / late, new hair... "

I’d say this. My phone is glued to my hand anyway. But one of the neighbours suddenly spent all his time on the cross trainer because he was seeing someone half his age.

Not sure about more sex. Maybe. Maybe less. Definitely sudden behavioural changes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs comes home with one forearm bigger than the other

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"Never dismiss gut feelings "

This^^

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

Some cheaters would have a burner phone

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"If you don't do things out of the ordinary, be where you are supposed to be and at the time you are supposed to be - it's hard to be caught out. "

Nope i disagree. You will eventually slip up. Cheats have to be lucky all the time.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

They accuse you of cheating to take the light of them.

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

"They accuse you of cheating to take the light of them. "

That's been narcissistic

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"They accuse you of cheating to take the light of them.

That's been narcissistic "

No its distraction tactics

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

"They accuse you of cheating to take the light of them.

That's been narcissistic

No its distraction tactics"

A narcissist will throw guilt and blame on other person whoch are infact his/her own doings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They accuse you of cheating to take the light of them.

That's been narcissistic

No its distraction tactics

A narcissist will throw guilt and blame on other person whoch are infact his/her own doings "

Yes constantly asking where you are going how long will you be. Texting constantly and it's always work group chat or the same friend you don't know too well that has never text before and they are going through trouble with partner and she's being there for her. Meeting for a chat and coffee at all hours after they have had a fight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best one from my ex was the work meetings that happened on gangbang nights at a dubious club. And those tells you can't quite put your finger on... Hindsight is great x

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By *ohn_1985Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

My slutty ex wife used to pretend to be nipping to the shops

Be gone an hour and I just knew she'd had her pussy and mouth filled with cock

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"My slutty ex wife used to pretend to be nipping to the shops

Be gone an hour and I just knew she'd had her pussy and mouth filled with cock"

Sounds like storytime

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

They have 'cheater' written on their forehead, in permanent marker pen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They have 'cheater' written on their forehead, in permanent marker pen

Oh I wish... Would make life so much easier

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By *ohn_1985Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"My slutty ex wife used to pretend to be nipping to the shops

Be gone an hour and I just knew she'd had her pussy and mouth filled with cock

Sounds like storytime

I offered a few times to gangbang and swing but she preferred cheating and that's why it ended

Still does it now with her current man. She will never change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So much of the above is all too familiar. Constant lies, making you think you're the problem. Sneaking around behind your back. Sly! Even a secret profile created. Took me far too long to believe my suspicions were right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if we ever stop to consider why cheating is so prolific?

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By *arkandlovelyWoman
over a year ago

South Derbyshire

"I wonder if we ever stop to consider why cheating is so prolific? "

A proliferation of selfish fuckers who prioritise their horn over their morals, perchance?

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By *asycouple777Couple
over a year ago

bristol

"I wonder if we ever stop to consider why cheating is so prolific?

A proliferation of selfish fuckers who prioritise their horn over their morals, perchance?"

True story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the not letting phone out of sight red flag. I once left my phone in the kitchen one evening and my ex accused me of all sorts, WTF?

For me it is unusual behaviour but that does not always mean you are cheating but perhaps just lost interest?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder if we ever stop to consider why cheating is so prolific?

A proliferation of selfish fuckers who prioritise their horn over their morals, perchance?"

Is it so prolific though? Selfish fuckers, plenty of those to the pound in life in general.

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By *ct238Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Have to say the overuse of phone and staying up late were the two most common things I found. Lack of intimacy was also a red flag. I was suspicious for 6 months before eventually finding out. Probably knew deep down but didn’t want to believe it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lipstick on your collar "

There's a song about that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder if we ever stop to consider why cheating is so prolific?

A proliferation of selfish fuckers who prioritise their horn over their morals, perchance?"

Yes so true! And they think they can get and deserve more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *xposedInTheSunCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

"A proliferation of selfish fuckers who prioritise their horn over their morals, perchance?"

Most of the population would think that was a description of all swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder if we ever stop to consider why cheating is so prolific?

A proliferation of selfish fuckers who prioritise their horn over their morals, perchance?

Yes so true! And they think they can get and deserve more"

Not really. No.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I wonder if we ever stop to consider why cheating is so prolific? "

I often do and in many cases I can see it's down to a lack of communication or a complete breakdown in a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A proliferation of selfish fuckers who prioritise their horn over their morals, perchance?

Most of the population would think that was a description of all swingers.

How does a couple who are totally honest and open, enjoying a swinging lifestyle equal a lack of morality?

If anything I would say that level of trust, honesty, respect and openness is a sign of a strong moral compass?

Or are you saying most people look through the bullshit religious lense of morality?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A proliferation of selfish fuckers who prioritise their horn over their morals, perchance?

Most of the population would think that was a description of all swingers.

How does a couple who are totally honest and open, enjoying a swinging lifestyle equal a lack of morality?

If anything I would say that level of trust, honesty, respect and openness is a sign of a strong moral compass?

Or are you saying most people look through the bullshit religious lense of morality?

KJ"

I certainly think the latter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder if we ever stop to consider why cheating is so prolific?

I often do and in many cases I can see it's down to a lack of communication or a complete breakdown in a relationship. "

Indeed. Though the dogma and rhetoric runs that cheating = scumbag lowest if the low blablabla. Its a hard topic to discuss without the emotive black and white silliness drowning out the discussion.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"I wonder if we ever stop to consider why cheating is so prolific?

I often do and in many cases I can see it's down to a lack of communication or a complete breakdown in a relationship.

Indeed. Though the dogma and rhetoric runs that cheating = scumbag lowest if the low blablabla. Its a hard topic to discuss without the emotive black and white silliness drowning out the discussion. "

The term 'cheating' is more emotive than, say, 'playing away'.

'Infidelity' would be my preferred term in any sociologically based discussion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her pussy full of cum is a fair indicator

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The grass is NEVER greener. If you stray then call it a day. Lou x

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By *urious couple22Couple
over a year ago

Derby

I've only read the top posts, but the phone is out of sight. I live off my phone it's glued to me. 95% of the time, it's how I make money

I've never been comfortable leaving my phone..

I'd say signs are how they are behave in around you are they different do they go off without letting you no where they are

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

He cc'd the other women in on an email

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He cc'd the other women in on an email

A professional would bcc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He cc'd the other women in on an email

A professional would bcc

Not to be confused with bbc

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By *attooYouMan
over a year ago

just about northside

"Mouth smells like a fish market."

Lolz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mouth smells like a fish market."

Ohhhhhh wooooow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you walk through the door and someone else is hanging out the back of them or they walk in as you and hanging out the back of someone else , can't deny it then

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By *ihimbiherCouple
over a year ago

lightwater

Wasn’t it Fatal Atraction?

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By *he_TicklersCouple
over a year ago

Havant & Aberdare

Instagram posts with no wedding band on

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By *urlywurlycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Gatwick

I have had 2 marriages, both wives cheated but for very different reasons and different giveaways in both.

One I believe was genuinely unhappy, she appeared to need to feel loved more and given more attention. Working shifts and having young children made that very difficult. we became friends with a couple who's children played with ours. The guy arranged to take the all the kids out and was picking my wife up too, as I was going to be working later that day. As she was about to leave, I looked and saw she was wearing a dress and had taken it up to be very short. it was obvious she had done this for him and had never done anything like that before. She basically blamed it all on him. The marriage never recovered.

The other wife loved to have secrets. she would meet and have sex with various men. She would deny it all the time and try to deflect all conversations to a different subject and blame me for that new argument. She used to buy a second mobile phone that I never knew about, but was useless at hiding them and they would buzz with messages. I offered her a swinging relationship or an open relationship. I said if she wanted to continue to have affair's, please just tell me as I wasn't worried about her having sex with other people but hated the lie's. She said that she would never do that sort of thing. She carried on having affair's, which she didn't know I knew about. She just kept telling lie's and said she had lost her sex drive, refusing to have sex with me. in the end I waited until the time was right and walked away. It was the secrets that must have given her a high, rather then the actual sex.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I have had 2 marriages, both wives cheated but for very different reasons and different giveaways in both.

Yes I think these women use fab to meet men. Must be so easy for them to do it on here as alot of men will be discreet and do quick one of meets

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

This thread makes me very sad. In fact, I nearly gave up reading it twice.

I wish all human beans could be nicer to each other. I know it’s never this simple but, idealistically, why can’t people either try to resolve their issues or just walk away? Or just accept they are in a relationship that needs to continue for whatever reason, but it is still grossly unfair to subvert trust.

My last relationship ended because my girlfriend accused me of cheating. I hadn’t and wouldn’t ever have done - she was fantastic, I wanted long term and had even given up fab. I don’t think for a moment she was cheating on me, in fact I suspect her distrust came because her previous partner had cheated on her for a year.

So, here I am, single and reading sad stories. I’m sorry for all the folks out there who’ve been through their painful times.

Be nice and always do the right thing.

Here endeth the sermon haha

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By *9Karm69Man
over a year ago

plymouth/chesterfield

You come home to find your other half banging or getting banged in the living room, over the dining room table or in bed, good give away, but would you go mad or join in??

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By *onaldandjacquelineCouple
over a year ago

wirral

Mrs confessed last night to cheating on me a few months back. She went in to detail while we were fucking, not been able to stop fucking her since. Drove me wild.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"* hiding his phone

* taking his phone everywhere with him.. even at 2am if he went to the toilet.

* sudden meetings that no one else seemed to remember having

* golf weekends ( bike, car), suddenly increased

* not wanting to go to bed at the same time as me

To be fair though... mostly it was just a feeling x "

Or it's her doing all of that! X

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By *teve261970Man
over a year ago

Gateshead

"Constantly making accusations that I was cheating, insane jealousy. Once all came out he admitted he wanted me to have cheated so he didn't feel as guilty... Said he didn't mean to do it.

This is one of the most obvious ones, normally called transference as they're doing it they believe everyone is to make them feel better about themselves & justify their actions.

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

The subtlest changes in attitudes to matters which you were both enthusiastic about at the very start of your relationship.

Nuances indicative of a slippery slope! Time to put on your metaphorical crampons !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a husband in our circle of friends pop up on tinder, another friend saw his face and immediately let his wife know. Wife was indenial, fell out with most of her friends accusing us of trying to separate them.

Felt sorry for her because when he did finally leave she had no support network. She had burnt all her bridges.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I was thinking about a young, single woman I knew in the late 70s early 80s. She was always very quick to defend a married guy we knew over certain actions and got very angry if anyone criticised him. Months later I discovered they were having an affair. Sometimes it's not the person being unfaithful who gives out the clues

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

There’s a thing you can find various places online called “the cheaters script” it’s astounding how many of them (men and women) do the same shit and yet think their other halves won’t suss!

1 mentionitis - talking about the person they fancy incessantly, how amazingly kind/intelligent/talented they are

2 improvements to physical appearance - lose weight, start hitting the gym, radical new haircut etc

3 secretiveness with phone. These days it’s the mobile, when my ex cheated it was also the landline, they clearly had a system where she would ring 1.5 times if she wanted to talk. Hanging up if I answered quickly (I’d have recognised her voice immediately as she was supposedly also my friend). Also secretiveness with email or creating new email addresses they don’t tell you about. Some will even go as far as having a separate “burner” phone or at least sim.

4 once something physical has happened the mentionitis goes and they avoid talking about them at all

5 suddenly start “working late” when they were never a conscientious employee. Starting a time consuming away from home hobby like golf, cycling etc

6 start picking fights with you and then rewriting your relationship history eg “we only got married cos you were pregnant really” “it was convenient to move in together”

“No sex or physical intimacy”

Or there can be an increase in sex or they suddenly acquire new moves.

“Constantly making accusations that I was cheating”

Yep I got that too!

Turned out he had 3 of us on the go at once. Wife 2 still doesn’t know that tidbit! He’s cheated on her plenty since too.

“Just ask/have an honest conversation” - doesn’t work with a cheat they are fundamentally dishonest.

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By *ames250122Man
over a year ago

Worcester

Depends on their character and history in part I guess. Though being distance, no longer wanting to have a physical relationship. Never wishing you join them on social events with friends would set alarm bells off for me. However my own personal experience was when I was working long hours a fair distance away from the home we rented. So I was up early and home late trying to make ground in my more lucrative new post. The early start and time I got home was due to travel but stuck with it so we could get our own place. Then after a month a couple of times when I got home my gf was chatting, rolling around on the floor tickling each other with this guy she new from school, that lived down the road. Meeting at ours after work and an hour or two before I got home to help her get back into shape, so she said. After I first meet him, my gf had already said to me he had a big crush on her before. He had also recently ended his relationship with his gf. She never admitted it but come on. I know I’ll get a lot of slack for this but tbh, cheating is far more common with with woman than society likes to admits as the opportunity for them is far more often available to them than it is for blokes. Also blokes cheat far less than society likes to makes out

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

"Similar from my experience, sadly.

The phone is a big one, vague comments about being late home/unexpectedly going out.

Being very defensive of discussing the above.

No sex or physical intimacy

Or the opposite to vague comments being far to detailed and a long winded answer is a big one to.

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

"Lots of people talking about always keeping their mobiles on them/taking to the loo/keeping the mobile on silent.

All that on its own means nothing more than someone keeps their mobile close, on silent, and takes them to the loo!!

I do all the above, always have and more so than ever now due to Apple Pay. My phone basically never leaves my possession.

I’ve never cheated in my life though.

I think when people talk about the phones, it's more likely to be a change in behaviour, never bothered about taking the phone everywhere but no all of a sudden it starts kinda thing.

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

"I wonder if we ever stop to consider why cheating is so prolific? "

Social media, its the easiest way for relationships to build, it's the easiest way to all of a sudden have nights out, meeting friends etc

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By *ornado69Man
over a year ago

Princess Risborough

Mine called me to say she was getting a lift home and never cancelled the call so i heard everything when they pulled into a quiet parking place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same, mainly take it everywhere as I’ve been known to forget where it is constantly, spent an hour looking for it in the lounge once

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By *asual777Man
over a year ago

i travel all over

"My ex always became more attentive to me and the kids, even when we split if he hit a new gf he would be nicer to me and want the kids more

Some men are unable to deal with sexual frustration

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By *onaldandjacquelineCouple
over a year ago

wirral

A fanny full of cum and it’s not your own.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"I wonder if we ever stop to consider why cheating is so prolific?

Social media, its the easiest way for relationships to build, it's the easiest way to all of a sudden have nights out, meeting friends etc"

Try 'human nature' as a suspect. It goes way back beyond social media.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife was able to keep it from my right up to the moment she told me she was leaving me. She is a skilled liar and I am too laid back.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

It was gaslighting in my case. To the point I was questioning my own sanity.

But it’s the gut feeling, you just know it.

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

"So I’ve noticed a few threads on cheating posted on the forums (no judgement) a general question.

If you were in a monogamous relationship, not a swingers ones, what are the classic signs you spot that your partner is cheating? Does it differ between women and men? "

I can definitely agree with others that being accused of cheating constantly was the major sign.

It is pretty depressing the number of humans that prefer lies, especially to those supposedly nearest and dearest to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Communication changes are an indicator that it's about to happen, although some people are good at hiding it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I’ve noticed a few threads on cheating posted on the forums (no judgement) a general question.

If you were in a monogamous relationship, not a swingers ones, what are the classic signs you spot that your partner is cheating? Does it differ between women and men?

I can definitely agree with others that being accused of cheating constantly was the major sign.

It is pretty depressing the number of humans that prefer lies, especially to those supposedly nearest and dearest to them.

Yes, this is so true.

From experience (couples), the guy (who was usually a mate), would regularly cheat, see other women, pr*st*tutes etc etc.

But, they'd be the ones accusing their partners of cheating and seeing others...despite very rarely. Despite rarely going out.

The cheats were the most insecure.

And, being honest, towards the end of my marriage, i was the cheat.

My personality changed. Very snappy and short tempered. I became very selfish.

I was secretive, showing less affection, spending more time downstairs when she had gone to bed.

I was a shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Service them regularly, give them the best they will ever have and they won’t cheat.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Service them regularly, give them the best they will ever have and they won’t cheat. "

Service them!

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Service them regularly, give them the best they will ever have and they won’t cheat.

Service them!

Or an oil change if you're short of time?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Service them regularly, give them the best they will ever have and they won’t cheat.

Service them!

Or an oil change if you're short of time? "

Does a little light come on when it's due?

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