FabSwingers.com forum: Performance anxiety

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone ever had it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *utlongjohnMan
over a year ago

Yes but mainly when i was younger, i was seeing a girl when i was about 17 and it took me around 5 seperate attempts to get hard enough to fuck her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Had it recently, devastating. How the fuck do you stop it happening.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ighlander80884Man
over a year ago

Inverness

Happens to everyone at sometime, the more you worry about it the worse it gets.

Try not to worry about it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Im trying lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had it recently, devastating. How the fuck do you stop it happening. "

We had our first mfm threesome in the summer and it happened to me

the guy was fucking my Mrs really well and I was struggling to even get a semi, was really embarrassing to be fair. But we met the guy again recently, I was loads more comfortable and relaxed and had a really filthy night, easier said than done but just try and be relaxed and not to worry about it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly it's not a big deal. There's a lot of pressure on men to perform in this scene and it's okay when it doesn't happen. Anyone who makes you feel bad about it, isn't the right playmate for you.

It's our job as women to make men comfortable and not dent their confidence.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get it now and again. I get really nervous sometimes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

I had it after a meet didn’t go as well as expected. Was very nervous the next time but was okay fortunately. I’ve written it off as one of those things!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had it recently, devastating. How the fuck do you stop it happening.

We had our first mfm threesome in the summer and it happened to me

Loving this thread already. MrRT had it once or twice, sometimes it’s just circumstance but agree with this so much. It’s about being relaxed and open about it, acknowledge it but don’t dwell on it. If you can enjoy things in another way and often it will sort itself. Also if it’s medical then there’s so much to help now it’s no big deal either. We don’t judge men the way they assume we do, you’re not under the pressure society will have you believe. Ps - I’d be happy to carry on regardless with you sexy folk x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had a fair few MMF's now and see this quite regularly. We try and make the guys feel welcomed and always make them feel reassured if they're struggling.

It happens, it's fine but that's easy to say if it's not happening to you.

We had two guys over once and the first question we got from one of them when we told him they would be joined was 'how big is he? ' and was immediately worried that he wouldn't be big enough.

J coming in to the room in her stockings and thigh high boots looking like a pornstar probably doesn't help either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lirtyAndFunCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

I cum very easily, so I like to make sure my guys are having a good time. If performance becomes an issue for them, I'm more than happy to just lick, suck & stroke their cock & balls while they try to relax.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

So many factors can play a part.

Stress. General health at the time. Fitness. Nerves. Temperature. How recently you last played or had sex. Alcohol. Time of day!

I just try to make sure if it does happen I'm not moping about and bringing everyone down.

Throw yourself enthusiastically into pleasuring others whichever way you can and most reasonable people will be totally fine with it.

Find that half the time, focusing on other people results in the problem resolving itself anyway after a break.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reedyKWoman
over a year ago

Fife

"Honestly it's not a big deal. There's a lot of pressure on men to perform in this scene and it's okay when it doesn't happen. Anyone who makes you feel bad about it, isn't the right playmate for you.

It's our job as women to make men comfortable and not dent their confidence."

100% agree with this! There's other things you can do and if it doesn't happen it's no one's fault just one of these things. Try again at another time.,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Downham Market

All the time

General anxiety, mental health and heart related medication all stack up against me.

Luckily I can get myself hard and make myself cum and Char likes the attention of other guys.

(Bry)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

It's our job as women to make men comfortable and not dent their confidence."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"Had it recently, devastating. How the fuck do you stop it happening.

We had our first mfm threesome in the summer and it happened to me

D here. And yup!! Hand's up I've had the same..

Nice to hear men owning the fact and ladies being sympathetic to what can be a worm in the brain for us.. Once it's there it's hard to shift.. xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah, im finding that.

Playing on my mind but the cokmments are helpful.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All the time

General anxiety, mental health and heart related medication all stack up against me.

Luckily I can get myself hard and make myself cum and Char likes the attention of other guys.

(Bry)"

Its just the fear of it happening again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All the time

General anxiety, mental health and heart related medication all stack up against me.

Luckily I can get myself hard and make myself cum and Char likes the attention of other guys.

(Bry)

Its just the fear of it happening again. "

You have to loose that fear or you will end if a vicious cycle fear leads to anxiety leads to stress, stress leads to suffering as in a floppy cock which nothing will undo.

If it happens empty your mind and focus solely on pleasing others often you'll find thinks kick in as soon as you don't focus on it.

Alternatively Viagra and cilias the all weekend version are fantastic insurance policies. You still need to get turned on to get hard but staying hard is much easier.

Finally experience has taught us that some men just aren't cut of for swinging with more than just another women present. Group sex, 3 sums 4 sums etc leads to them been unable to perform. That's ok though more than 2 people in a sexual act isn't for everyone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also OP it says your a smoker. There's a lot of studies and proven links between long term smoking and erectile distinction.

I smoked up until 5 years ago and as a smoker in my late 20s early 30s had a few performance situations happen. Since quoting smoking it's never happened and my sex drive is never been higher.

Food for thought.

Also lots of meds like aunti depression tablets and pain killers especially codine can cause performance issues.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Also OP it says your a smoker. There's a lot of studies and proven links between long term smoking and erectile distinction.

I smoked up until 5 years ago and as a smoker in my late 20s early 30s had a few performance situations happen. Since quoting smoking it's never happened and my sex drive is never been higher.

Food for thought.

Also lots of meds like aunti depression tablets and pain killers especially codine can cause performance issues.

KJ"

Im not a smoker, dont know why that was ticked. Ive untickwd it. Its 100% mental.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *glyBettyTV/TS
over a year ago

Not in your area

In a previous life (lol), this would happen to me the first time I was hooking up with a lady.

Only ever the first time though, any subsequent times with the same woman & I'd be fine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was younger, but I have had issues where during a long session I kept needing the bathroom, didn't even have much to drink! What's that all about?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's our job as women to make men comfortable and not dent their confidence."

Well saud.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In a previous life (lol), this would happen to me the first time I was hooking up with a lady.

Only ever the first time though, any subsequent times with the same woman & I'd be fine. "

Thats kinda what happens. Its just the fear of it happening.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are many ways to satisfy the lady than a hard cock. Try not making a fuss about it but show a confident side of you. Stop what you are doing and make her laugh, tell a story. Start caressing each other, women love to make the man hard and she will…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just had it happen on my first meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *N4funCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Only had a couple of meets that have been MFM and MFMF, struggle to find a way to calm. Mrs has been very understanding but it really makes you feel crap and useless when it happens

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edstockings2Couple
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

I have met many guys over the years that have had problems. What I normally do if we have made it to the bedroom and I see it happening I make the excuse that I'm really thirsty would everyone mind if we take a break. Often after having drink and 5 mins time out it really helps.

It happens , but the more you worry about it the worst is getting so don't worry be happy. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nonymous95-2Woman
over a year ago

Bolton

In my opinion, it happens. You just keep going, it's not always about the destination. There are still things that can be done to each other that feel amazing still. As long as all parties are still having fun, it it's a hindrance.

Sometimes thing just don't do what you want them to do. Even as a woman, sometimes by body doesn't cooperate with my brain. It's not a big deal.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im trying lol. "

Does reverse psychology work? Decide not to let yourself get hard.

Just a thought

Missy x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im trying lol.

Does reverse psychology work? Decide not to let yourself get hard.

Just a thought

Missy x"

In a way kinda like when you least expect it them expect it.

The key is to clear your mind of everything and any expectations of getting hard. Just purely focus on giving pleasure and enjoying doing it. Then it will happen when your not focused on it in any way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exleypeteMan
over a year ago

bexleyheath

Happens to us all at some point

Don't let it worry you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Think im just going to arrange some meets and keep meeting till i dont think about it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *94meeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Cock ring helps to sort that. If not handy then stick a hair bobble round your balls for 10 mins while you get busy orally!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ister_ee_1981Man
over a year ago

S-Exeter

"Im trying lol. "

As difficult as it sounds, you have to try to ignore it. If you focus on the problem and try to "get hard" it just won't (because your cock is a dick sometimes)

Try switching to something else, oral on her, or something to try to take your mind off your own dong, but also to keep you in the mood. (a good snog always helped me!)

With any luck your company will understand and will probably try to help (either with hands or just not making a big deal out of it)

It just happens (because your cock is a cock sometimes!)

Try, as best you can do relax, that will get your blood flowing again to all the right places!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ister_ee_1981Man
over a year ago

S-Exeter

"I have met many guys over the years that have had problems. What I normally do if we have made it to the bedroom and I see it happening I make the excuse that I'm really thirsty would everyone mind if we take a break. Often after having drink and 5 mins time out it really helps.

It happens , but the more you worry about it the worst is getting so don't worry be happy. X"

Brilliant! Helping out, without making a big deal about it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

It's our job as women to make men comfortable and not dent their confidence."

I really wish there were more understanding women like you around

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Swanage

"Anyone ever had it? "
have you had it OP?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lol obviously.

Except its not lol its more

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread